Jeopardy in July: A Jamie Quinn Mystery (Jamie Quinn Cozy Mystery Book 5)

by Barbara Venkataraman

  "Love the artwork," I said.

  "Me too," Teddy admitted grudgingly, "but I didn't used to."

  Jessie set the steaming cup on the snack table and we exchanged a look.

  "Why did you buy them then?" she asked. "Did they come with the apartment or something?"

  Her uncle held up a finger for us to wait while he sipped his tea. How he avoided dunking his long moustache in the cup was a mystery. The only thing better for storing food would have been a beard--or Tupperware. I didn't understand the appeal of growing facial hair, but then again, I couldn't manage the hair on my head.

  "Ah," he said, "That hits the spot! Girls, there are two words that guarantee a happy marriage and they are Yes, dear. My late wife liked art, so we bought art. She used to drag me to museums and art shows all over the world and I used to say she was cultured like a pearl. That was our little joke."

  "Good one!" Jess exclaimed. Seeing my puzzled look she said, "Her name was Pearl."

  "Aw, that's sweet," I said.

  Uncle Teddy gulped the rest of his tea. "The funny thing is," he said, patting his moustache with a napkin, "as I grew older, I started seeing things in a different way. I found meaning in the art that wasn't there before. When I shared that with Pearl, she was really touched, so I let her think it was her doing. Who knows?" he shrugged. "Maybe it was."

  "Do you have a favorite?" I asked.

  He chuckled. "Now you sound like my wife. Nah, if it speaks to me, I like it. If it makes me feel something or makes me think--which doesn't happen often--that's really something."

  Just then the doorbell rang and Jessie got up to answer it. It was Harry, Uncle Teddy's poker buddy, the one who had warned me about the food. He was wearing a different pair of loud pants, but his fashion preference was undeniable. He was mad for plaid.

  "Heard you were laid up," he greeted Teddy with a slap on the shoulder. "I had to make sure you were still kicking."

  "Well, I won't be joining the Rockettes any time soon," Teddy joked, pointing at his leg, "but I'm still here."

  "Then you're still in the running," Harry said, taking a seat next to us on the sofa.

  "You bet I am." Uncle Teddy gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

  Jessie shook her head. "What are you two competing for? Sexiest senior citizen?"

  The two men started laughing so hard I was afraid they'd need CPR--which was not in my skillset, unless watching ER counts as training. I was only a juris doctor. Law school had prepared me for crises like nasty opponents and crying clients, but nothing life or death. Anyone waiting for me to come to the rescue is out of luck.

  When Harry finally caught his breath, he said, "We're trying for world's oldest poker player. The record is currently held by a ninety-six year old."

  Teddy shook his head. "The record might stand, but I doubt that the guy is still standing. It's been a few years. Let's just say he probably won't mind when we take his title away."

  "Yup, he's way past caring, no doubt about it," Harry agreed, adjusting the sofa pillows so he could sit back. "Poor Clarence, now he's out of the running. I think the competition was even his idea."

  Teddy sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Yeah, I can't believe he's gone. We were friends for forty years, isn't that something?"

  Finally, we were talking about Clarence. "How did you two meet?" I asked, leaning forward.

  Excited, Jessie leaned forward at the same time and accidentally elbowed me in the side.

  "Oops, sorry!" she said, suppressing a giggle.

  "No problem," I said. "It's only my ribs. I have more, you know, spare ribs."

  Jess elbowed me again, this time on purpose. "Tell us the story, Uncle Teddy."

  Harry chimed in with "I don’t think I've heard this one."

  Teddy cleared his throat. "I'll start by saying that first impressions aren't worth a hill of beans."

  "Why do you think that?" Jessie said.

  "Because when I first met Clarence I couldn't stand him."

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  "I'll never forget it," Teddy said. "It was St. Patrick's Day, 1976, and I got roped into playing in a charity golf tournament in Miami. Our team was short a man and somehow we ended up with Clarence as our fourth."

  "That sounds like fun," Jess said. "You love golf."

  "I didn't love it that day," her uncle said wryly.

  "What happened?" Harry asked. "Did Clarence run over your foot with the cart, or what?"

  "I'm trying to tell a story here," Teddy said with mock exasperation. "You need to know the context. Work with me, people. When you watch a movie, do you skip straight to the end? If so, here are some endings for you: Rosebud is a sled, soylent green is people and King Kong plunges to his death off the Empire State Building."

  "Fine, fine," Harry sat back on the sofa and crossed his arms. "Tell your story, you old geezer."

  "Thank-you," Teddy said, "I will." He adjusted his leg on the footstool, wincing a little, before continuing. "The day started out bad and went downhill from there. To begin with, the tournament wasn't well-organized, the caddies didn't know where to go, there weren't enough golf carts, and we had to wait for other teams to play through. Then, at the second hole, it started raining--not enough to cancel the tournament, mind you, just enough to make us miserable. The clubs were slippery and the ground was muddy and Clarence was driving me bonkers. He wouldn't stop telling jokes and giving us tips on how to play."

  "Was he a good golfer?" I asked.

  "Oh, he was excellent, a genius at reading the green, even in the rain."

  "He must have done something to make you like him," Jessie remarked.

  "Yes, indeed," Uncle Teddy said. "He did two things. First, he choked on the eighteenth hole."

  "On purpose?" I guessed.

  "Yup," Teddy nodded. "He didn't want us to feel bad. I could see what he was doing and I thought to myself that's a helluva guy!"

  "What was the second thing?" Harry asked.

  "Drinks were on him the rest of the afternoon!" Teddy laughed. "We were fast friends after that and he helped me improve my golf game like you wouldn't believe. I remember us celebrating my first hole-in-one--which was also my last hole-in-one, in case you were wondering. Clarence and I had some really good times together."

  Nobody said anything for a few minutes. I wanted to bring up Shirley's behavior at the memorial without seeming like an insensitive clod, but I didn't know how. Then Jessie came right out and asked. Go, Jess!

  "Uncle Teddy," she said gently, "was Clarence acting differently these past few months?"

  Teddy gazed out the window, Harry looked down at the floor and I avoided eye contact with Jessie so we wouldn't look like the co-conspirators we were. Since we were all looking elsewhere, I tried to read the room, but I couldn't. Maybe the men were uncomfortable talking about their friend's problems, or maybe they felt guilty for not doing more to help.

  Jessie broke the silence a second time. "I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to."

  Her uncle shook his head. "It's alright, don't apologize. It's just that it really rattled us to lose Clarence and then to have Shirley accuse us like that…"

  "Accuse you?" I blurted out. "Of betraying your friend?"

  "Why would you think she was talking about you?" Jess asked, confused.

  Harry shrugged. "Who else could it be? Clarence wasn't close to anyone at La Vida Boca except us."

  "There's no way she meant you," Jess insisted. "What about Clarence--did he tell you someone had betrayed him?"

  "No," Teddy said. "But he was clearly upset about something and he said some things that were off the wall. Right, Harry?"

  "Oh, yeah! About a month ago, we were all sitting around the pool and out of nowhere he says what if I told you I'm not the person you think I am? I thought he was joking, but he wasn't."

  Teddy nodded. "He said something even stranger to me. A few weeks ago, he told me he was going to divorce Shirley for financial reasons. I said what the hell are y
ou talking about, Clarence? He said he had to do it to protect her, but he wouldn't elaborate. Of course, we know he didn't go through with that."

  I saw Jessie's expression change, her mouth forming the letter 'O' as she made the connection between me and the Petersens. She understood now why I'd come to see them and she glared at me like I'd been holding out on her, which was true, but I didn't have a choice. I had taken an oath to maintain the confidence and preserve inviolate the secrets of my clients. Although the Petersens weren't technically my clients, the conversation I'd had with Clarence on the phone was a consultation and therefore protected by attorney-client privilege. Only one person had the right to waive that privilege and it was Clarence. Absent a Ouija board, I didn't see that happening.

  "Have you tried talking to Shirley?" I asked Teddy in an effort to stop Jessie from revealing what she knew.

  Both men looked alarmed at the prospect of approaching the widow and I can't say I blamed them, Shirley was kind of scary. Jess immediately came to her uncle's rescue.

  "Let me handle this, Uncle Teddy. I'll get to the bottom of it and clear up any misunderstandings. I'm sure Jamie would love to help me."

  She used her brown eyes to do a Jedi mind trick that had me nodding my head in agreement. She was a sweet girl, but when it came to her uncle's well-being Jessie took no prisoners. She wouldn't have any trouble speaking to Shirley because she was a little scary herself.

  The two men looked relieved and thanked us for our offer (well, Jessie's offer), and agreed it was worth a try. Marley, who had been lying quietly by Teddy's feet, suddenly got up and walked to the door where he stood patiently, waiting for us to notice. It was time to go, but we had what we came for, which was more information.

  As Jessie locked the door from the outside, we heard Harry say, "Are you up for the game tonight?"

  Teddy laughed. "Of course! How can I be the world's oldest poker player if I don't play poker?"

  "Relax," Harry said, "if it doesn't work out, you can settle for world's oldest Parcheesi player."

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  "What's with all the secrets?" Jessie demanded once we were in the hallway. "Clarence is gone, you know. He won't mind."

  "I took a solemn oath," I said as we walked towards the elevator.

  "It doesn't matter. I already know why you were meeting with the Petersens, Miss Jamie Quinn."

  I laughed. "I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations. What's more, I plead the Fifth, just because I can."

  The empty elevator arrived and we hopped on, Marley between us. I reached over to pet him and he licked my hand.

  "What's your plan for talking to Shirley?" I asked. "I don't recommend the direct approach; she seems like one angry octogenarian."

  Jessie had an answer ready. "Oh, you mean the plan we're going to carry out together? That plan? You'll love this! We're going to deliver a condolence card from my Uncle Teddy along with a nice plant."

  "That's the plan? Sounds pretty lame. You think handing her a plant will make her invite us in for tea and cookies?"

  Jessie did a facepalm. "Sheesh, Jamie, it's not a social call. We want to see her reaction."

  "To what? A plant?"

  "You're getting warmer," she said. "Think about it, what's special about the plant?"

  I shrugged. "Beats me."

  "Such a clever plan and it's wasted on you," she teased. "We want to see her reaction to a plant from Uncle Teddy. If she thinks he betrayed Clarence, she'll throw it at us."

  Clapping my hands, I said "I love it! You're a genius. Did you think about the next step? If she accepts the plant, don't we want to talk to her and find out what she knows?"

  Jess gave me a big smile. "Yup. That's where the tea and cookies come in."

  "My favorite part of any plan," I said. "I hope she has gingersnaps."

  The elevator delivered us to the lobby where we had to dodge between residents to get Marley outside before his bladder burst. Pet therapy was a tough job. Marley deserved a raise.

  I thought about what we'd learned upstairs and how it didn't add up. As a family lawyer, I'd never heard of anyone getting a divorce to save money. There's an old saying that it's cheaper to keep her and it's true. To put it a different way, love is grand, divorce is twenty grand.

  We were halfway to the garden, trying to catch our breath in the stifling heat when Marley stopped in his tracks. He had decided it was time to sniff every blade of grass--a dog's version of reading the newspaper. As we waited, my growling stomach informed me it was lunchtime so loudly that even Jessie heard it. I know because she reached into her pocket and handed me a dog treat as a joke.

  I laughed. "I'm not that hungry, but I do need to get going. I have a ton of work waiting for me at the office. Text me about Shirley and I'll--"

  "There you are! Did you forget to come see me?" Jodi Martin had appeared out of nowhere to confront me about my broken promise.

  "Uh, no I didn't," I lied. "I was just on my way, wasn't I, Jess?"

  With a toss of her purple tresses, Jessie threw me under the bus. "She forgot."

  "It was your fault," I replied. "You kidnapped me."

  "Yeah, sure I did," Jessie said with a mischievous smile. "Okay, I'm off to do some pet therapy, catch you later."

  I was glad to see the two women interacting as if the Machete Man incident had never happened. When you work in close quarters you need to get along. It also helps if you clean up your mess in the microwave (I'm talking to you, Nelda).

  "How was your seminar?" Jodi asked, removing her sunglasses and tucking them into the pocket of her gardening smock.

  "Eh," I said. "I don't know what I expected."

  Jodi nodded as if you should always expect the unexpected at La Vida Boca. Maybe that could be their new motto. Then Ricky Martin wouldn't have a reason to sue them.

  "Let's find somewhere cooler to talk, shall we?"

  I followed her back inside where we stood by the glass doors looking out. Everyone else was at lunch so we could speak freely.

  "Did you find out anything?" I asked. "Do tell."

  She leaned in conspiratorially. "Yes! I grabbed a trashy novel and dropped in on the Book Club. It didn't take long to steer the conversation to the topic of Shirley's outburst but nobody knew what she meant. After a little more prodding, one of the women, Isabel, remembered something. She said that on Memorial Day her grandkids were coming to visit so she went downstairs to the vending machines to buy some snacks. As she made her purchases, she overheard two men arguing in the exercise room on the other side of the wall. She recognized Clarence's voice because of his accent, but she didn't know who the other man was."

  "What were they arguing about?" I asked.

  "It wasn't clear," Jodi said, "but she heard Clarence say I know what you did! How could you do that to me? I trusted you."

  "What did the other man say?"

  "He said it was all a mistake and he could clear it up, but Clarence wasn't buying it. He threatened to go to the police and then the man got nasty and told Clarence if he did that, he would go to jail too!"

  "What happened next?"

  "Clarence said: You're nothing but a thief, get away from me. And that was all Isabel heard. She didn't think about it again until the memorial service."

  "That's interesting," I said. "I can't imagine what trouble Clarence could have gotten himself into. I didn't think he hung out with anyone here beside the Card Sharks."

  Jodi looked thoughtful. "That's true, so we're no closer to knowing who it was."

  "Yeah, but you did great! I wish I had some news for you. You got a lot of mileage out of one trashy novel! Can I borrow it, by the way? I need something to read."

  With a laugh, she dug it out of her purse and handed it to me. The cover was black and red and the artwork was pretty steamy.

  "The Vampire's Kiss--are you serious? What's wrong with a good Danielle Steele romance?" The last thing I wanted to do was feed my vampire phobia. A sexy vampire was s
till a vampire.

  With a knowing smile, Jodi took the book out of my hand and put it back in her purse. "To each his own," she said, "But you don't know what you're missing!"

  "Yeah, I do. Hey, isn't that your botanist friend Eli, alias Machete Man?" I could see through the glass he was lurching towards the doors. "He doesn't look well."

  "Oh, my goodness!" Jodi said. "I hope it's not his heart! He has a pacemaker."

  She yanked the door open and we ran out. Eli staggered a few more steps before collapsing in a heap on the ground, foam and spittle around his mouth.

  "I think he's having a seizure!" I said. "I'll call 911."

  As I dialed, Jodi crouched down and tried to help him. "Eli, what happened?"

  With eyes half-closed, he struggled to speak and finally managed to utter in a raspy voice "I'm afraid…someone…is trying…to kill me!"

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jodi gasped. "I can't believe it! Why would anyone want to kill you, Eli?"

  I could think of a few reasons starting with the fact that he was a major jerk, but I kept quiet. I don't kick a man when he's down, or literally on the ground, like this guy. I follow my moral compass even when it points me somewhere I don’t want to go.

  After calling 911 and stating the nature of my emergency, I didn't know what else to do. Eli looked pale but stable and wasn't actively foaming at the mouth, thankfully. Jodi was kneeling beside him in the grass, concerned hand on his shoulder, head tilted so he could whisper in her ear. She nodded that she understood and turned to me.

  "Jamie, will you do something for Eli?"

  I hate open-ended questions like that. How did I know what I was agreeing to? What if he wanted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation or one of my kidneys? Like any decent lawyer, I preferred to read the fine print before entering into a contract.

  "What is it?" I asked, leaving myself a way out.