Now those fears seemed groundless, and her heart felt considerably lighter. With an eager spring to her step, she went to find Andrea.
Eli was standing in the shade of the overhang when she came out a few minutes later. “Everything okay?” he asked as they went down the stairs and out to the Corvette, which was parked by the curb.
“It’s fine, although Andrea wasn’t exactly thrilled.”
“Figures.”
“Do you mind if I drive? I really need the practice if I’m going to take the test next week.”
He shrugged. “Why not?” He passed her the keys.
“Anyplace special you want to go?” she asked as she drove carefully through town.
“Nope. Wherever you want.”
“All right.” Not sure what else to do, she headed for the road that went past Willow Run. She glanced over at him. “Are you going to tell me what this is about?”
“I can do better than that.” With a barely suppressed air of anticipation, he took a folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket, smoothed it out and held it up. “Take a look at that.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a check.”
“I can see that. I mean—”
“My insurance claim finally paid off.” His teeth flashed in a satisfied smile.
“What? Oh, Eli! That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, it is.” Grinning, he carefully refolded it and placed it back in his pocket. “It’s what I’ve been waiting for. I’m going to meet with Jack Christopher tomorrow to go over the plans for the new garage. And I’ve got an appointment to look at a rental house later this afternoon. You should see the place, Norah It’s perfect, a tri-level, and only three doors down from the Acquards. Chelsea’s going to love it.”
The air suddenly felt too thick to breathe “What?”
“According to Lampley, I have you to thank for speeding things up. I really appreciate it. I appreciate this whole thing. I didn’t think it was going to work at first, but everything’s turned out great.”
“Eli—”
He stretched out his legs and leaned back in his seat, the picture of contentment. “You’ve got your house, and I’ve got my money, and it’s been one hell of an interesting summer—”
“Eli, stop.”
He glanced over at her, looking mildly surprised. “What?”
“I...” She tried to think, but it was hard to do when her whole world was crashing down. “There’s no reason for you and Chelsea to move out,” she said, trying not to let him see how distraught she felt. “You’re more than welcome to stay at Willow Run while your place is being rebuilt.”
Just for an instant he tensed, but then his expression evened out. “It’s nice of you to offer. But school starts in a few weeks, and I want Chelsea settled.”
“Yes, but—”
“I really think it’s best. For everyone.”
A pickup truck passed them, seeming to come out of nowhere. Norah gave a shudder as she realized she’d been driving on automatic pilot for the past several minutes, completely unaware of anything but what Eli was saying. Shaken, she slowed and pulled into the first side road she came to, then was dismayed when she realized they were at the abandoned pump house where they’d first embraced. She put the car in neutral, pulled on the brake and gathered her thoughts.
“Your leaving is not best for me,” she said finally, struggling to keep her voice steady as she unhooked her seat belt and turned to face him. “I want you to stay. I want us to be together.”
For the first time he hesitated. “You may think that now,” he said carefully, “but, trust me, in a week or two, when things are back to normal, you’ll be glad to have Chelsea and me out of your hair.”
She took a deep breath. “No, I won’t. I love Chelsea. I love the three of us being a family. I... I love you, Eli ” There. She’d said it. Her heart in her throat, she waited for his reaction.
To her shock, he simply shook his head. “No, you don’t. You may think you do, but it’s Just that you don’t have anything to compare it to.”
Norah stared at him. There was a hot, tight feeling in her throat, and for a second she felt so weak and light-headed she thought she might faint.
“I’m sorry,” Eli went on. “This whole thing is my fault. I knew this might happen, and I let things get out of hand. I shouldn’t have.”
The tight feeling grew, spreading behind her eyes and across her chest, making it hard to breathe and even harder to think. Part of it she recognized as bone-crushing hurt. But there was something else, too, something that caused her stomach to knot and a bright, metallic taste to fill her mouth.
It took her a moment to identify it as anger.
When she did, it shocked her, coming as it did after a lifetime of restrained and polite behavior. Yet it was also oddly liberating, giving her the nerve to say what she truly felt. “I don’t want you to be sorry,” she said bluntly. “I’m not a child for whom you’re responsible. And I don’t need you to tell me what I think, or feel, or what’s right for me. I had enough of that with my grandfather. I know what I want. If it’s not what you want, that’s your choice, but don’t try to make it seem as if you’re doing this all for me. I think there’s more to it than that.”
“Well, you’re wrong. And you’re not being reasonable. If you were, you’d realize we’re all wrong for each other.”
“In what way?”
“Oh, come on, Boo. You’ve got two college degrees, and I’m an auto mechanic.”
“I doesn’t matter. Not to me.”
“It should. And it probably will once you realize I didn’t have a clue about a lot of that stuff you were discussing at the fund-raiser the other night.”
“So? I can’t tell a spark plug from a carburetor. What does it matter?”
His mouth thinned. “It just does. And so do the differences in our pasts. There’s stuff you don’t know about me—”
“I don’t have to, Eli. I know all I need to know. Whatever happened has made you who you are now. That’s what I care about.”
“Oh, for—” His jaw tightened with frustration. “Fine. But you can’t deny that you have money and I don’t.”
“Really? What about the check in your pocket?”
He threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay I’ll give you all that. Maybe you’re right. Maybe none of it matters. But I’ve still got Chelsea to consider. She’s already lost one mother. For her sake, it’s best if we end things now, before they go any further.”
Norah shook her head. “I’d never do anything to hurt Chelsea,” she said flatly. “And if I was ever lucky enough to have her think of me as a mother, that would be a lifetime commitment between the two of us—one that wasn’t dependent on you. Besides, I think it’s just another excuse.”
“Oh, yeah? So what do you think the problem is?”
She wasn’t sure where the words came from, but suddenly they were there. “I think you’re afraid to believe that anyone other than Chelsea could love you.”
A nerve jumped in his jaw. “Really? And why is that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because of your mother. Or maybe— maybe because of whatever happened between you and Chelsea’s mother.”
“I don’t believe it,” he said with disgust. He yanked off his sunglasses, his brilliant blue eyes glittering as he faced her. “What? You think I’m nursing a broken heart or something? Well, think again. I barely knew Chelsea’s mom. The ugly truth is that we had a one-night stand, and I didn’t give her another thought until a social worker showed up at my door almost six years later and told me I was a father. That’s the kind of man you think you love,” he said scornfully.
“No. The man I love is the one who took in a child he didn’t know and became a terrific father against all sorts of odds. A man who’s changed his life and learned from his mistakes and who helped me do the same.”
He gave her one brief, furious look, then shoved open the door, his jaw tight. “This isn
’t getting us anywhere.”
“What are you doing?” she said sharply.
“You’re due back at the library, and you’re not in any shape to drive. I’ll take you back.”
He hadn’t listened to a word she said. “Fine!” Her face set, she gripped the wheel and turned to stare straight ahead as he clambered out.
All of a sudden she realized that the same exact thing had happened the last time they were in this very spot.
Only this time, she was different. She was no longer that shy, proper, insecure virgin. And it was time Eli realized it.
She glanced over as he slammed the door and stepped away from the car.
She wasn’t sure what came over her, but in the next instant she popped the clutch, slammed the gearshift into first and drove off, leaving him behind in a cloud of dust.
His bellow of outrage almost made her forget the ache in her heart.
This is what I get for teaching Norah to drive, Eli thought furiously as he strode along the road, heat from the asphalt burning through the thin soles of his tennis shoes.
Better yet, this is what I get for trying to be a nice guy. For the first time in my life, I put a woman’s happiness ahead of my own, but does she care? Hell, no. She steals my car and leaves me out in the middle of nowhere.
Frustrated, he kicked a stone with his toe, sending it skittering into one of the clumps of summer-dry grass that edged the road.
The outburst didn’t do a thing to improve his temper.
Partly because the day was living up to its earlier promise. Although he’d been walking less than five minutes, his shirt was already wet with perspiration and he was starting to get a blister on one of his toes.
But mostly because of all that stuff Norah had tossed at him.
It kept rattling around in his head, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. Where did she get off suggesting he was treating her the way her grandfather had? Or claiming that their differences didn’t matter? That was almost as asinine as her statement that she didn’t care about his past, or—the ultimate kicker—that claptrap about how he didn’t think anyone but Chelsea could love him
That went to show how much she knew. If he was calling it quits for a reason other than his concern for her, it was because the whole damn thing was getting out of control. And losing control meant being in somebody else’s power. He’d sworn long, long ago when his mother left that he would never again be so vulnerable or trust anyone’s supposed avowal of love—
He rocked to a stop. Had he really just thought what he thought he had?
The world seemed to shift beneath his feet. Could Norah be right? Was all of this just a long-delayed reaction to that old childhood hurt?
No. No, dammit. And yet, when he thought about the past few days, he had to admit that up until Saturday night, there might have been a small, misguided part of him that believed he was sort of doing Boo a favor by having the hots for her. And that same small, misguided part might also have felt a little smug in light of her obvious desire for him.
All of that had changed the night of the fund-raiser, he acknowledged. Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, Norah had come into her own, overcoming her drab, quiet past to publicly impress everyone with her style and intelligence. For the first time in their relationship, she’d been more than his equal. And though he’d been happy for her, wasn’t it also possible that on some level he’d concluded that if she didn’t need him, eventually she might not want him, either—just like his mother?
Eli took a deep breath, then let it out, not much enjoying this train of thought. Still, he forced himself to continue, needing to get at the truth.
Was it possible that the reason Norah’s declaration of love had thrown him for a loop was not because he didn’t believe she meant it, but because he wanted to believe it too much? And that rather than taking a chance on opening himself up to possible hurt, he’d chosen the safe way out and ended things first?
Yes. Yes. And yes.
The realization nearly dropped him to his knees. For a moment he stood still, swaying as if he’d been smacked with a ton of bricks. But gradually his head cleared, and as it did, one other thing became very clear.
Of everyone he’d ever known, he could trust Norah Jane.
After all, she’d trusted him from the very beginning.
What was more, even when he’d told her his greatest shame—about Chelsea’s mother and how he hadn’t even known he had a daughter—she hadn’t flinched. Instead, she’d seen the good that had come out of that bad beginning.
No wonder he loved her.
He squeezed his eyes shut, wondering why it had taken him so long to see it. Not that it mattered. What mattered was that he did love her. With everything he was or ever would be.
Of course, after the way they’d parted, convincing her might take a little doing, he realized, opening his eyes. Knowing Norah, she must have been pretty ticked to drive off the way she had.
He thought about it, remembering the way she’d looked with her cheeks flushed and her eyes stormy, and all that shiny, cropped hair framing her delicate face and that long, graceful neck. Out of the blue, his whole body flushed with a heat that had nothing to do with the sun.
He shook his head. He was going to have to find some way to make up for the pain he’d caused her before he even thought about that.
The unexpected blare of a car horn jerked him from his thoughts. For half a second his heart leaped at the hope that it might be Norah, until he realized it was coming from the wrong direction. Turning, he stepped to one side of the road as a familiar white Ford Taurus approached.
He winced as the driver jammed on the brakes. A second later, the electric window slid down to reveal Melanie Rawlins. She looked at him over the top of her sunglasses. “Eli! I thought that was you. What are you doing way out here? Where’s your car?” She glanced around as if she expected to see the Corvette stashed under a bush.
He studied her a moment, then slowly smiled. “It’s a long story. Can you give me a lift to town? There’s something I have to do.”
“Sure.”
He went around to the passenger door and climbed in.
Norah stood on the terrace outside her bedroom, gazing out at the beds of colorful flowers and the clipped emerald lawn of Willow Run. Here and there she could see a fat black-and-yellow bumble bee going about its work, while one bold redbreasted robin was escaping from the heat by taking a dip in the birdbath.
Once upon a time, she would have taken comfort in the tranquil scene, she reflected. But not anymore. Instead, it seemed empty and lifeless—until she turned her attention to the shaded spot below the maple tree where Sarah and Chelsea sat, having a lively tea party with their Barbie dolls. Although she couldn’t quite hear what the children were saying, she could hear them giggle every once in a while, and the sound was infinitely soothing.
She tried to imagine a future without such laughter. She couldn’t. But then, that wasn’t surprising since sometime in the past hour she’d realized that no matter what happened—whether she had to take in boarders or sell Willow Run and go somewhere else and start over—she was never going back to the quiet, ordered, empty life she’d led before Eli and Chelsea had come here.
Quite simply, she’d changed.
In just one summer she’d gone from being a shy, virtuous, responsible, law-abiding citizen to a stranger who’d taken a lover, thwacked off thirty-four years worth of hair, was currently AWOL from her job and had stolen a car—and she didn’t even have a valid driver’s license.
She bit her lip as tears unexpectedly filled her eyes at the same time a bubble of laughter welled up. Oh, my. The whole thing might actually be rather funny, if only she hadn’t also driven off without Eli.
Why, why had she done it?
Simple, said her new, not-afraid-to-call-a-spade-a-spade little voice. He deserved it.
Maybe, answered her heart. But I still shouldn’t have done it. There must have been anoth
er way, a better way, to make him understand that I love him unconditionally and always will.
Down below on the lawn, the girls suddenly leaped to their feet and went racing toward the house. Norah watched as they disappeared from sight, a faint smile crossing her face as she wondered what they were going to want this time. So far in the past hour, they’d asked if she would run to the store for ice cream, if they could order pizza for dinner, and if Sarah could spend the night.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, there was a knock on her door.
“Come in.” She heard the door open, then a few seconds later a rustle of sound behind her.
“Norah?”
It was Eli. Her knees sagged for a second, making her lean heavily against the balcony railing. Her shock only lasted a moment, however, before she got a hold on herself. Straightening her spine, she forced herself to turn.
He stood framed in the French doors. He looked tall and golden and impossibly handsome, and she loved him so much it hurt. She searched his eyes, expecting anger, but was met instead with a puzzling guardedness.
A lump filled her throat as she noticed that his hair was damp, and she realized he’d showered and changed clothes. And that despite the heat, he was actually wearing a sport coat over his T-shirt and jeans.
No doubt he was all dressed up for his appointment about the rental house.
Not knowing what else to do, she reached into her pocket and held his car keys out to him. “You must be looking for these. I’m sorry about what happened. I don’t know what possessed me.”
He was silent for a moment, his gaze locked on her face. Finally, however, he looked down, reached out and took them, slipping them into his jeans. “It’s all right. I deserved it.”
She stared at him in surprise. “You did?”
“Yeah. You may not have noticed, but I can be a little stubborn.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“Oh.” Puzzled, she realized he seemed almost nervous.
The Notorious Groom (Desire) Page 18