My Laird's Love (My Laird's Castle Book 2)

by Bess McBride

  “I canna say that I understand how ye came to travel here to Scotland, but as Beth said, ye may have come for a purpose. To try to leave so soon willna give ye time to discover that purpose.”

  His cheeks turned a ruddy red, but he kept his eyes on me.

  I tried to answer, but could do nothing but stutter under his gaze.

  Beth finally stepped in.

  “James, she wants to go home. Her heart is there.” Beth threw me a quick glance. “I’m sorry, Maggie. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything?”

  I shook my head quickly, meaning nothing. I couldn’t really even think straight with James watching me as he did.

  “Och!” he said. “I didna ken ye had someone there. A husband? A suitor?”

  My hand, holding my teacup, shook. Why was this conversation so acute? So personal?

  “No, no husband,” I said. “I was going to be married.” I could say no more. I gulped my tea.

  James turned to Beth with a quirked eyebrow. Colin ate and watched the conversation with interest.

  “Maggie told me that she was engaged to be married but that her fiancé died. She wants to be home, to be near him.”

  The poignancy of those words struck me. Sam was dead. I couldn’t be near him, no matter where I was.

  James’ eyes swung back toward me. He nodded.

  “My condolences, lass,” he said softly. He dropped the subject and applied himself to his meal. Beth followed suit, and the table fell silent.

  I set my cup down and dropped my eyes to the blue silk of my skirt. I ran my fingers along its softness, confused about a sudden reluctance to leave. So what if some handsome Highlander from the past thought I should find out why I’d traveled through time? It certainly wasn’t to meet him. I’d had my one true love. I couldn’t possibly love another man as much as I’d loved Sam.

  I sighed heavily and looked up. James watched me, an expression of sympathy on his face. Sympathy and something else. Regret?

  Chapter Six

  At length, Beth spoke again.

  “I think Maggie wants to go as soon as possible,” she said to the room in general. “So, when we finish breakfast?” she asked, directing her question to me.

  I nodded wordlessly and avoided James’ eyes.

  “We shall all accompany ye, Maggie,” Colin said.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just need a few tips from Beth on how to get back, and that will be that.”

  “Nonsense,” James said forcefully. “Ye canna travel alone. It is on my way home.”

  “Well, I’m going,” Beth said.

  I was outnumbered. It seemed I would have a rather large audience for my upcoming magic trick.

  “Thank you,” I said as graciously as I could.

  “Do ye wish to ride or walk?” James asked.

  As much as I wanted to run from him, from my unwanted feelings for him, I surprised myself.

  “Ride,” I said, remembering the feeling of resting against his chest. My cheeks burned, and I looked down at my skirt.

  “I will have the boy saddle the horses,” Colin said. He rose from the table and disappeared, his sheepdog in his wake. Beth stood up and said she was going upstairs to get me a cloak, stating that I probably wasn’t used to the cold mornings here in the Highlands, even if it was late spring.

  I was left in the dining room with James, and I bent to pet Robbie’s head.

  “Are Robbie and the other dog related?” I asked, trying to avoid any suggestion of an intimate discussion.

  “Aye,” James said, rising from the table and walking over to the window to look outside. “Laddie is Robbie’s littermate, a gift from the shepherd who cares for Colin’s sheep.”

  I felt the need to say something to James, but lost the moment when Colin returned, sporting a gray tam over his dark shoulder-length curls. Like James, his voluminous kilt was draped over his jacket and secured with a large brooch near his shoulder.

  “Ye dinna want to leave this,” he said, handing James the canvas bag holding his bagpipe.

  “Thank ye,” James said, slinging the bag over his back. I regretted that I would never hear him play again. A hard knot formed in my throat, and I recognized the onset of tears. I choked it down and bent to pet Robbie’s silky head again.

  Beth returned with a dark cloak for me and a bag of something she set on the floor. To my surprise—and hers—James took the cloak from her and folded it around my shoulders, tying it under my neck. Longing to look up into his eyes, yet unable to face the intimacy, I kept my head down. I knew I had to return home as fast as possible. I couldn’t possibly survive the eighteenth century if everyone was as earnest and intense as James.

  “There,” James said softly, his r’s rolling endlessly. “Ye willna take cold.” He stepped back, and I raised my head. I blinked at the directness of his gaze, as if he could see through to my soul. I struggled for air and turned my head toward Beth.

  “Are you ready?” she asked. She picked up the bag. “I packed up your clothes.”

  “I am,” I said, staying the course. “I am ready.” I repeated the words, more for myself than anyone else. I reached for the bag, but James took it from her.

  “I will carry the satchel,” he said.

  “Let’s go then,” Beth said. We filed out of the great room, the dogs at our heels, and the ever-present George opened the front door.

  The dogs, excited about a possible upcoming adventure, barked several times.

  “Hush, Laddie,” Colin said to his dog. Laddie and Robbie both complied, and they grouped around our legs as if ready to herd us to our destination.

  The morning was bright and fine, not at all cold. I probably didn’t need the cloak, but after that affecting moment when James wrapped me into it, I wasn’t about to take it off.

  I struggled a bit on the stairs in my skirts, and James took my arm and pressed it against his side. I raised the hem of my skirt with my other hand and made it down without falling on my face.

  A horse snorted, and I looked up to see a young teenage boy holding the reins of two horses attached to a wagon. Another boy held Black’s reins, and I realized I was meant to ride in the wagon. Of course. There was probably no way I could ride a horse in the hooped skirts, was there?

  My heart sank. I had so looked forward to riding with James, right or wrong.

  “What’s wrong, Maggie? Did you want to walk? It’s not far. Colin and I have walked this path many times.” To my dismay, Beth must have caught something on my face, and I tried to bring my expression under control.

  “Oh, sure,” I said with a forced smile. “Walking is fine. I don’t mind.”

  “Good!” she said. Colin spoke to the one boy in a language that I assumed was Gaelic, and James moved to take Black’s reins.

  Would he ride the horse or walk with us? I waited anxiously to see.

  A wide smile broke out on my face as I watched James settle my bag of clothes onto the horse’s saddle and lead the horse toward me. He held out an arm to me.

  “Ready?” Beth asked.

  “Aye,” James said. He lowered his voice and looked down at me. “A good plan. This will give ye more time to think.” He pressed my hand against his side, and I pressed my lips together, stifling a reply.

  Colin and Beth, watching us with smiles, turned and linked arms, leading us away from the house, across a beautiful expanse of green parkland. They walked closely together, obviously very much in love.

  James and I followed them, but I turned to look over my shoulder at Gleannhaven Castle. James paused and followed my eyes.

  “I didn’t really get to see it last night,” I murmured.

  “Take yer time, lass. It is a bonnie house.”

  The castle, a magnificent gray stone edifice backed by a forest leading up to green hills, featured castellated turrets on either end.

  “It is beautiful,” I agreed. And I’d had the good fortune to spend the night in the castle. What more cou
ld a girl ask for?

  I turned around to see Beth and Colin waiting for us. Robbie and Laddie ran back to us to see why we were taking so long.

  Beth smiled, seeming to understand why I paused. They waited until we caught up, and then we moved toward the forest that I hadn’t been able to see very well the night before. Tall oak trees rustled gently above us as we followed the path away from the castle.

  I threw one last look over my shoulder before turning resolutely forward. A Scottish castle. Me. Who would have thought?

  The journey back toward the river seemed to take half the time it had last night, and we arrived well before I thought we should. Beth did indeed know the way, and we crossed over the small stone bridge to reach the opposite side of the river.

  She turned to look at me.

  “Down there?” she asked, pointing to exactly where James had found me.

  I nodded ruefully.

  “That’s where Colin found me,” she said, echoing my thoughts. “Are you ready?”

  I nodded, keeping my head forward. I tried to pull my hand away from James’ side, but he covered it with his own, Black’s reins still in his hand.

  “I shallna release ye until it is time,” he said.

  “Do all the men in eighteenth-century Scotland talk like you?” I asked as we resumed walking.

  “How do ye mean? Do I speak in an odd manner?”

  I shook my head. “No, not odd, just really, really direct.”

  I peeked up at his face.

  A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

  “Direct, eh? I suppose I am a bit more forthright with ye than I might be with someone else, but there is that about ye and yer circumstances which compels me not to mince words. As far as I ken, I willna see ye again. Ever.” His rolling burr enticed me, his words touched my heart.

  “I’m sorry I can’t stay,” I said with a catch in my throat.

  He paused and, dropping the horse’s reins, turned me to him. Beth and Colin walked on, unaware that we had stopped.

  “Ye dinna have to go, Maggie. Surely ye can stay awhile, no? I ken ye lost yer man. I ken ye grieve for him, but he is no longer in yer time. There is no haste to leave. Stay awhile. Beth could use yer company.”

  I met his eyes, beseeching me to stay.

  “Beth?” I repeated idiotically.

  “Aye,” he said. “Beth...and me. I dinna wish ye to go yet. Stay awhile with us.”

  Robbie, at our heels, barked once, as if echoing James’ request.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Beth and Colin waiting, Laddie at their side.

  “I can’t,” I whispered. “I just can’t get swept up in this.”

  “Swept up in what?” James asked. He held my hands in his.

  “This!” I said hastily. “This!”

  “I dinna ken yer meaning, lass.” James shook his head, brown curls curving around his face in the most romantic way.

  “This! This romantic stuff. You!” I whispered. “I don’t want to get involved with anyone again. I don’t want to feel this way again.”

  James released my hands and stepped back, locking his hands behind his back.

  “I can see yer heart has been broken, and I grieve for ye, Maggie. I willna attempt to capture yer heart. I promise. But stay for a spell.”

  I turned away from the sincerity in his eyes and threw a beseeching look toward Beth. She made no move to return to my side.

  I lifted my skirts and moved past James, toward the bank of the river, unsure what I intended to do.

  I felt my arm grabbed, and I looked up to see James holding me, not ungently. Robbie barked, running circles around us.

  “Please let go, James,” I said. In my peripheral vision, I could see Beth hurrying back toward us. Colin followed.

  “Maggie!” Beth called out. James did not release me, nor did he say anything. I put my hand over his, thinking I would pull his hand from my arm, but I did nothing of the sort.

  “Maggie,” Beth said, catching up to us. “What’s going on? I thought the spot was further down.”

  “It is,” I said, looking down at James’ hand. “James and I are having a bit of a tug-of-war.” I looked up at him, my lips curving into a smile. The sun shone down on us, warm and kind. The sweet air of the Highlands filled my lungs.

  “James! Let her go,” Beth ordered.

  James ignored her, keeping his eyes fixed on mine.

  “She disna want to go just yet,” he said softly.

  The mountains towered above us, emerald green at the base and rocky toward the peaks. The river, which I knew to be cool and crisp, babbled. It really spoke. The sensory overload took my breath away.

  I wanted to kneel down on the bank, compelled to touch the water as I had been before, but two things kept me from doing just that—I couldn’t possibly allow Beth’s beautiful blue silk skirts to touch the grassy bank...and the hand holding my arm told me I wasn’t ready to say good-bye.

  I barely noted Beth standing by or that Colin had joined her. I was aware only of James’ hand on me, holding me fast. I could have easily shaken him off, but I didn’t.

  I looked up at James, unable to keep a smile from spreading across my face.

  “Okay,” I said quietly. “Okay.”

  “Okay, what?” Beth asked. “Are you going to stay awhile, Maggie?”

  I dragged my eyes from James’ warm blue gaze and turned toward Beth.

  “Yes, I would like to stay awhile longer, if that’s okay with you, Beth? I hope I haven’t inconvenienced you by dragging you all down here.”

  James released my arm, unfortunately.

  “No, I’m so pleased you’re staying!” Beth said. She moved up to hug me, and I knew then that James was right. Beth was probably lonely for a woman from her own time. But that’s not why I was staying. I tried to ignore the feeling of disloyalty toward Sam that haunted me. It wasn’t like I was going to fall in love with James. I just wanted to stay in historical Scotland a little bit longer; that was all.

  Robbie barked a few times, until James shushed him.

  “I’m pleased that’s settled,” James said. “And now I will be off to my own house but will see ye soon.” Oddly, given the recent intimacy of our conversation, he addressed himself to Colin. In fact, he didn’t even look at me.

  “Won’t you stay with us, James?” Beth asked. “We can send someone for some fresh clothing.”

  “Nay, Beth, thank ye, but I must hasten home. I didna intend to be away for the night. Aunt Edith will be wondering if I was waylaid by ruffians...or the English.”

  I stood there stunned, unable to comprehend that whether I stayed or not, James was leaving. Why had he asked me to stay? Only to turn me over to Beth and Colin? Why had I agreed to stay? I looked toward the river, wondering if it was too late to reach in for a handful of chilly water.

  “Come to Castle Lochloon for supper tomorrow. Stay the night,” James said over my confused head. “Aunt Edith will be pleased to see ye. She often frets that there isna a soul to cook for but me.”

  “Thank you, James. We would be delighted to come for supper and stay,” Beth said, taking my arm in hers. “We will see you tomorrow. And you can play your bagpipe for us again. Maggie will like that, I know.”

  “Aye, tomorrow then,” James said. He bowed. “Good day, Maggie.”

  I said nothing, but I watched him mount Black and ride away, Robbie frolicking at their heels.

  “What made you change your mind, Maggie?” Beth asked.

  “He did,” I said in a low voice. I had forgotten Colin was there. “He begged me to stay.” I turned toward Beth. “But once I agreed to stay, he immediately said he was heading home.”

  Colin cleared his throat, and my face flamed. I wouldn’t have said anything had I remembered he was there.

  “Even I kent that James wanted ye to stay,” Colin offered. “He is a good lad though, a confirmed bachelor—never one to chase the ladies. He has resisted many a bonnie lass who has s
et her cap at him. I was surprised he insisted ye stay this morn at breakfast.”

  “Come on,” Beth said. “Let’s not worry about that now. I think he wanted you to stay as well. I know I’m glad you’re staying.”

  I allowed Beth to pull me along the path and across the bridge to leave the river behind.

  “Well, this is all very embarrassing,” I said, swallowing hard. “Of course, I’m not interested in James in that way. Somehow, I got caught up in his plea. He’s very persuasive, isn’t he?” I ended on a feeble note.

  “Aye, that he is,” Colin said. “I’m sorry for yer loss, Maggie, and I ken that ye didna wish to be separated from yer fiancé. But I dinna think ye will suffer undue grief if ye stay wi us for just a short while.”

  “No, of course not. I’m already missing, after all, aren’t I? Cousin Julie has already torn her hair out. And no, Sam won’t be any further from me than he already is if I stay for a little while longer. I just didn’t want to stay forever. I couldn’t bear to be that far from him.”

  “If you think about it, Maggie, Sam hasn’t even been born yet,” Beth offered.

  I slowed, thinking about the implications of her statement.

  “Oh my word, no, he hasn’t, has he?” I said with a smile. “And he isn’t dead.”

  “No,” she said. “No, he’s not.”

  I turned to her quickly.

  “Can I change that? Can I go back and stop him from dying?” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew how foolish they were.

  Beth started to speak, but I interrupted her.

  “No, never mind. He died of pancreatic cancer. That’s just not really stoppable, is it? It’s not like I can travel to the future, find a cure, and then dash back to offer up the cure and save him.”

  Beth pressed my arm tightly.

  “I’m so sorry, Maggie,” she said. She looked up at Colin walking a discreet distance ahead of us. “Colin was killed by a crazed young boy, and I was able to travel back in time and come back to stop it. I don’t know how. It’s not like we have a machine we can set to travel to a certain time, and I don’t know how I came back before he’d been killed. But I was able to stop it. I guess that won’t work for you...or Sam.”