by Stacey Lynn
“I won’t let him hurt you,” he said softly and leaned in to kiss my escaped tear away from my left cheek.
I knew I needed to do this. Jack was right – and had been for weeks. Marcus deserved to know the truth and even if I didn’t want anything to do with him, Logan had the right to know his father. And I had Jack standing in front of me, keeping me safe. He would do whatever he could to keep me from being ruined by this.
I nodded and noticed that it was time to sit down to eat.
“I just need a few minutes. I’m going to go to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, okay?”
Jack released his hands but kept his gaze on me. “Want me to come with you?”
With one hand resting on his elbow I nodded towards our table. “It’s fine. I’ll be back in a little bit and then we can enjoy our food.”
I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t eat a single thing of the delicious food that we’d be served but it seemed to comfort Jack, and that was all I needed to do.
As I walked away to the restroom, I saw Marcus follow me out of the corner of my eye. I focused on the artwork in front of me, some portrait of a woman with a tortured expression and refused to look at him; too afraid that if I did my expression would mirror the artwork.
After taking a few minutes to rub cold water on the insides of my wrists and dot my neck with paper towels, I was finally able to take a deep breath and relax. I walked through the door of the women’s restroom, only to gasp in fear when an icy cold hand gripped my arm.
Before I knew what was happening, my back hit a wall, and my attacker’s forearm pushed against my chest, keeping me pinned in place. I gasped loudly, and waved my head around, trying to see if anyone saw what just happened to me. It was then I recognized the evil, slimy looking pair of steel-blue eyes. They haunted my dreams for months, years even after Marcus left. There were a few more lines around the eyes now, and my attacker’s hair had more silver in it; but other than that, he looked the same. I resisted the urge to spit in his face.
“Senator,” I spit out. I would not allow this man to scare me again. Even though every nerve ending in my body was sparking with fear.
He leaned in to my ear making me cringe in disgust. He smelled like scotch, just like always. “I see you’ve moved on to whoring around with even more successful men now. I should applaud your good taste.”
“You don’t know shit.”
He tsked at me twice. “That’s not how a lady speaks. Although I suppose with how easy you spread your legs for the rich, you’re not much of a lady are you.”
“Get off me, Senator, before you regret it.”
He pushed his arm into me and then took one step back. We were still standing much too close for a casual conversation if anyone should walk down the hall and see us, but at least I was able to breathe again.
“What do you want?” I asked with ragged breaths. I still felt the pressure of his arm against me and rubbed it tenderly, hoping it wouldn’t bruise.
“You will let Marcus see his son. And me.” I paled instantly.
“You … you know?” I asked as I felt all the blood rush from my head and straight down to my toes. It may have even seeped directly into the plush carpeting beneath my feet. Marcus’s dad knew I had a son.
He scoffed. “You didn’t think I was going to give you that money and then just trust you’d do the right thing, did you? I’ve watched you and Logan occasionally for years, in order to anticipate you reaching out to Marcus. It’s impressive, really, that you never caved. I appreciate your tenacity.”
He knew Logan’s name. He fucking new my kid’s name. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to bash his skull in and run away to Bora Bora like I did the night Marcus showed up at Jack’s penthouse. But this….Senator Whitmore knowing the details and knowing he’d actually watched us made my skin scrawl. I felt like I had a colony of ants crawling up my entire body, itching me and fighting for entrance into every pore of my body. I fought the urge to scratch my arms and legs and faced him bravely.
Five years ago, he had walked into my apartment and demanded I follow his rules.
I wouldn’t bow to this asshole ever again.
“You’re incredible. You try to pay me off to get rid of, what did you call it, a ‘mistake?’ And now you think you can demand to see him? Get over yourself. You’ll never lay a single finger on my son.”
I turned to walk away from him, but his voice stopped me.
“Do you really think Jack McMillan is still going to want you when your picture is splayed all over the paper as a whore, someone willing to spread her legs for her employer? He’ll be ruined. And it will be your fault.”
He took a deep breath, brushed his hands roughly down the front of his suit and continued, completely composed, ever the politician. His smug grin was evil.
“I should have followed up before and made sure you got rid of it. That was my mistake, letting it get this far, but this time I’ll make sure you do what you’re told. That boy of yours is a Whitmore and I’ll make sure he’s raised like one even if his mom’s a whore.” His venomous words were spat so harshly I recoiled, wanting to get as far away from him as possible, but what he said next – with a look of evil joy – was so much worse.
“Do you realize that I can find a judge to give me grandparental rights? They exist, you know…and no one in Chicago, or Illinois for that matter, would deny me the right to see my grandson.”
My stomach rolled and I turned to the bathroom.
“Get away from her,” a familiar voice snapped from the other end of the hall.
FIFTEEN
I had never been so relieved to hear Marcus’ voice. In the recent weeks just hearing his name made me cringe, but tonight those four words washed away all the prickly feelings on my skin.
I hated it. But I was glad to see him, walking down the hall with his hands tightened into fists at his sides.
I looked to him and his dad, feeling the thick tension between the two of them. When Marcus reached us, they squared off, facing each other like two men in a boxing ring. I instantly wanted to know why they seemed to hate each other so much. Marcus was always the perfect son, wanting to please his father, hesitant to do anything to risk sullying the family name. Even at the time, I knew that was why Marcus never contacted me again. He walked away from me because his dad told him too. I wondered now, briefly, if he regretted it.
But here he stood, ready to battle his dad on my behalf, five and a half years too late.
Marcus didn’t buy his dad’s perfectly groomed, and completely false smile. “Hello son.”
I watched Marcus cringe at the word and again my curiosity peaked, but now was clearly not the time to interrupt.
“Stay away from her,” he spit out again, his hands tightening even further at his sides.
His father looked from him to me, completely ignoring his son’s comment. “You’ll make the right call. I know you will.”
“She won’t do anything you tell her to do. And you’ll leave her alone.”
The Senator walked away without another word, leaving Marcus breathing heavily, his hands stretching out as if to relax. I stood there stunned, wondering what in the hell just happened between the two of them.
Without warning, he turned to me as if he just remembered I was there. “Come on, I’ll take you to Jack.”
His voice was kind and gentle. I was wary, but too shaken by the entire experience to deny him when he lightly held onto my elbow and began walking back towards the ballroom.
“I’m not the same guy you knew, Emma.” His eyes stayed focused straight ahead, but his words were softly spoken.
“You seem to hate your dad.”
He nodded once. “I haven’t spoken to him in years. At least, not unless I’ve absolutely had to.”
He turned to me, and dropped his hand from my elbow when we reached the large room. His hands went to his pockets and he shifted uncomfortably. “I have a lot to explain to you, a lot to make amends for.”
>
He rubbed his hand through his hair and frowned.
“I know all about the money my dad gave you,” he spoke so quietly I was almost afraid I misheard him, but at the same time, I felt the ants begin to crawl all over again. I couldn’t talk about this here with him, not without Jack. I turned my head to the right to find my table. As if he knew I was looking for him, Jack’s eyes locked with mine immediately and I saw panic fill his eyes when he saw me standing next to Marcus.
I breathed deeply and relaxed as Jack excused himself from the table and began heading our way.
I lightly put my hand on Marcus’s elbow and pulled him back into the hallway and away from any eyes in the ballroom.
Marcus continued, “I want you to know that I found out the truth of what he said and did to you just over a year ago. I thought you left me. The night I was getting ready to pick you up, my dad showed up and told me you had called him and asked him for money.”
“What?” I asked, shocked. Although I shouldn’t be. “He told me you decided you didn’t want the baby.”
Marcus nodded and I instantly felt Jack’s presence next to me.
I didn’t need to turn to him to be comforted. He knew what I wanted as he wrapped an arm around me. Marcus looked to Jack, nodded once and then looked back to me.
“I know. We got into a bad argument over a year ago when my mom….when she died. He was drunk and admitted everything he did to us all those years ago. I wanted to call you and apologize then, but I just couldn’t.”
He sighed heavily and turned away from me. I remember hearing about his mom’s death in the news. At the time, I didn’t want to care about her death at all. Unfortunately, she had been fairly decent to me in the years Marcus and I were together and I was saddened to hear about her dying of cancer. I noticed he struggled with the last word and my interest peaked at what happened to his mom. Whatever it was; it was not pretty.
He turned away from me slightly. It was that moment, where I was overcome with how completely similar Logan looked like him. His nose twitched slightly and I almost gasped out loud. It simply reminded me that he hadn’t spent a single day around his son and yet they shared the same mannerisms.
“I was sorry to hear about your mom. She was a nice woman,” I said softly, offering whatever pathetic condolences I could give. I wasn’t shocked at all about what he said about his dad. Based on all the information I had just found out, I realized Marcus’s dad could do anything he wanted and probably get away with it.
Marcus scoffed and turned to me, his eyes a steely, angry blue. Jack’s hand tightened on my waist and he pulled me back from Marcus. I apparently wasn’t the only one who saw his sudden change to anger. “My mom didn’t die of cancer, Emma. She killed herself when she finally realized how many times my dad had cheated on her.”
I gasped. Behind me, I heard Jack inhale a breath in between his teeth.
“Regardless of the shit with my mom and dad, I want you to know I’m sorry.” That got me. Marcus never apologized for anything. Ever. In his father’s mind an apology was a sign of weakness.
I arched an eyebrow saying nothing, but leaned back into Jack for help to keep me standing.
“I have a lot to apologize to you for. I’ve wanted to call you and explain…and then my mom…” he paused, pinched his eyes shut and rubbed a closed fist across his forehead. When he opened his eyes again, his hands fell to his sides. “I was an asshole. I was immature and unable to stand up for what I wanted and what I thought was right, and I’m so incredibly sorry for running and trusting my dad at all.”
“This apology is about five and a half years too late.”
“I know. I know it is.” He lowered his eyes briefly before looking back to me. When he did, he looked so much like the young twenty-year old boy I knew years ago during my second year of college. His hair was a little shorter now, shaggy but still professional enough, and his five o’clock shadow was slightly scruffier than it was when he was younger. His eyes held a weight in them, a pain that wasn’t there when I knew him before, but he was still just as handsome, if not more.
Marcus Whitmore drew attention from every female he passed when we were at DePaul. I had a feeling that hadn’t changed at all as his eyes pierced mine, pleading with me silently.
I saw a man standing in front of me and not the rich, albeit completely beautiful and gorgeous, boy I used to know.
Marcus had grown up. I just didn’t know if I could trust him.
But it wasn’t up to me. Logan wanted to know his dad, regardless of whom he was or where he came from. A tear escaped my eye and I brushed it away quickly, thinking of how Logan had asked me at the start of the pre-school year last year why he didn’t have a daddy like the other kids when they had to draw family pictures. It made my heart crumble at the time, not knowing what to say, but knowing that my explanation of how he didn’t have a dad but Uncle Tate was pretty special didn’t appease him nearly enough.
As if reading my mind and knowing I was debating something important, Marcus reached out and took my hand. “I’m not the kid you knew Emma.”
I turned my head to Jack and wiped away another tear. He looked down at me, and for a moment, I forgot Marcus was standing behind me. Jack simply pulled his lips into a tight, but understanding smile.
He put one hand on my cheek. “You can do this, Emma.”
I nodded and turned back to Marcus. His eyes were furrowed in confusion and I almost lost it then, looking at my son’s father who had no idea I was about to rock his world.
“What’s going on?” He flipped his eyes between Jack and me before flexing his fingers nervously at his sides.
I did the one thing I never thought I would do. Reaching in to my wallet, I withdrew a small school photo and handed it over to him. His fingers grasped it gingerly, and I saw his hands shake just slightly.
“This is your son, Logan. He’ll be five in two weeks. I didn’t use your dad’s money and I didn’t do what he told me to do.”
I watched his face distort in front of me as he flickered through way too many emotions for me to place. His thumb softly swept across the edges of the photo while he took in every feature on Logan’s face and my heart softened towards him against my own will.
I never knew what new mothers meant when they said they watched their husbands fall in love when they held their child for the first time, but watching Marcus now, I totally understood. His love for Logan was instantly tangible and several minutes later when he finally pulled his gaze from the photo to mine; so was his regret.
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent while Marcus’ eyes flitted back and forth between the photo and me letting him have this time to process everything he needed to. Five and a half years ago, when I told him I was pregnant, my heart had burst with joy when he offered to elope immediately and get married and start our life together just as we had dreamed. But within forty-eight hours all that joy was crushed to pieces.
As I watched him reverently holding the photo of his son, I realized for the last five years, regardless of who had been in my life to help and support me; the one person I always wanted there, the one person who should have been there, was standing right in front of me. My heart broke all over again realizing what Logan and I had missed out on – a real family.
“He’s beautiful,” Marcus whispered. Had I been standing mere inches further away, I would have had to strain to hear him.
There was a softness, a longing in Marcus’s eyes I couldn’t deny or turn away from as he looked at me. It caught me so off guard it took me a few seconds to remember that he had actually spoken.
I simply nodded in agreement, a slight smile spreading on my lips. “He is. And smart, too.”
“Just like his mom.”
I should have been flattered by the comment, but instead I was scared. What did it mean for me now that Marcus was back in my life and knows about Logan? How would things change? Would this affect my relationship with Jack?
I
looked up at Jack again and saw him eyeing Marcus’s reaction. There was a sadness in them, and I wished I could ask him what he was thinking. I didn’t want this to change anything, but I was terrified it was going to change everything.
“Can I meet him?”
I eyed him for just a second before I saw the innocent desire in his eyes.
I rubbed the back of my hand across my forehead. “I need to talk to Logan. Can you give me some time?”
Marcus nodded and looked to Jack. “You knew about Logan?”
Jack nodded and released his hands from my waist only to put them in his pockets. He straightened his entire body and glared at Marcus fiercely. “I’ve known Logan since before he was born, Marcus. I hired Emma when she was still sick from pregnancy and heartbroken over the guy who left her.”
My eyes widened. I wasn’t sure that last part was necessary, but then I realized this was Jack’s way of protecting me. In so many words, he was letting Marcus know that Logan and I were both his – and that he’d been the man taking care of us. It cut Marcus deep, I could tell from the sadness and regret in his eyes, but he simply nodded and pursed his lips before turning back to me.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you needed me to be.” He flipped the picture around so I could see Logan’s face. “But I’d like to get to know him. More than anything, I want to know my son.”
I nodded slowly. “I’ll call you soon.”
He went to hand me back the photo of Logan but I waved him off. “You keep it,” I said softly and reached for Jack’s hand.
Marcus gently placed the photo in his wallet and smiled slightly. “Thank you,” he said and walked back to the ballroom leaving Jack and I standing there in completely silence.
“Let me take you home,” Jack whispered softly in my ear. My eyes were glued to Marcus as he walked away and took his seat at his table.
I nodded and let Jack quietly lead me down the hallway and out the door of the hotel to Shane and the waiting limo.