by Stacey Lynn
I smiled down at him and looked around the living room, remembering the night he made me come, straddled on his couch, the first night he said he wanted to try dating me. I bit my cheek to keep my tears away at the memory.
“How does it feel?” I whispered as he continued to work, shakily, on the buttons on his shirt. He grunted something unintelligible and I continued. “How does it feel to walk into every room of this place and remember what it was like when I was spread out for your pleasure, Jack?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I flung more questions at him.
“Do you remember how I tasted when you had me on your kitchen counter? Do you think of how I sucked your cocked when you were sitting at the desk in your office? Do you miss the way my thighs wrap around your waist when you slide into me and completely fill me?”
He dropped his shirt and stepped away so quickly, rubbing the back of his hair, that for a second I wondered if I pushed him too far. Had I pissed him off so much he was going to throw me out again?
I almost regretted getting carried away until he turned away and I saw that his face was flushed. His cheeks were pink and he was so turned on, his pupils were almost completely dilated, his breathing heavy.
“What in the hell has gotten into you?” He exhaled loudly, staring at me, from too far away. He looked at me as if I was a wanted but dangerous treasure. As if one simple touch would destroy him. I knew exactly how he felt as he stared at me, breathing heavily, the tendons in his neck sticking out. My pulse raced and for the first time in weeks, I felt alive.
“You did, Jack. You made me fall in love with you, to want you every second of every day, and I know you love me too. And I’m not leaving today until you make love to me like you love to do, and then tell me what’s going on.”
“I. Can’t.” He spit it out with such frustration that I knew I was close to getting what I wanted. What I needed.
“Can’t or won’t?” I asked with an arched eyebrow. “Don’t lie to me, Jack.”
I placed a hand on my hip and chewed on the inside of my bottom lip. Every one of my senses felt alive. I could smell him from across the room; practically feel his hands caress the curves of my hips and breasts. I took a large breath, knowing he could see my chest heaving. Heavy and waiting for him.
He looked tortured and I loved it. I wanted him to feel the exact same way I had felt for the last several weeks, what it felt like to be without him. He glanced back at the door and down to my coat, most likely debating kicking me out. But I held my ground, refusing to leave until I got from him what I needed; what I came for.
“You need to leave. It isn’t safe for you to be here.” He held out my coat, silently asking – begging - me to put it on, and I shook my head.
“Tell me why,” I breathed out. I was wet, dripping, and I knew he could see it on me. I looked at him devilishly, and resisted the urge to press my legs together. Instead, I moved my feet further apart and his gaze dropped to my thighs. His lips disappeared into a tight line as he pressed them together when my fingers began undoing the buttons he had just put together. I didn’t want to be hidden from him, and this was the only way I could get him to act. His eyes looked hazy, practically drunk, as he dropped his gaze to my garter belt and nakedness beneath it as I gently, and teasingly slowly placed one of my fingers against my folds and pressed it in slowly.
“Shit,” he groaned and grabbed the back of his neck with both hands, lacing them together. My eyes rolled back and I moaned at the thought of pleasing myself in front of him, under his hot stare that could undo me in an instant, but I stopped myself.
I slowly moved my own finger and rubbed it once, then twice, against myself before bringing it to my mouth. Jack’s eyes followed me the entire time.
I parted my lips, and slowly licked myself off my finger. It reminded me of the time he touched me in the elevator. Our first date when he didn’t speak and took control. I kept my eyes on him the entire time, teasing him.
I saw the moment he lost control; the moment I had him.
In three quick steps, Jack was in front of me.
“Fuck it,” he muttered and grabbed my hand from my mouth and placed it in his. I closed my eyes and moaned as his hot mouth finished licking the juices off my finger. I was hot, and ready to explode as soon as his lips touched me.
He used his free hand and grabbed my hips, pulling me flush against his body as he devoured my fingers that touched myself. I pressed my hips into him, feeling his hardness through his jeans and threw my head back.
“Jack,” I whispered or moaned or screamed. I had no idea and I didn’t care.
Without warning, he removed my hand from his and pushed two of his thick fingers into me. I jumped up onto my tiptoes from the force of his entrance and laid my head against his shoulder.
“Always so wet and tight for me. God I’ve missed you, Emma.” He moved his fingers exactly how he knew I liked it, rough and fast, with no sense of slowing down anytime soon.
My breath grew ragged. I panted against him and inhaled his sexy scent. I licked his neck, wanting him, needing him. I wanted to sink right into his skin so I could always be with him.
I felt my body begin to shudder, my orgasm growing quickly and fiercely in a way that only Jack could do to my body.
“I know, baby,” he whispered right before locking his eyes on mine. I could feel how much he wanted me with his erection pressed against my stomach as his fingers screwed me.
He attacked my mouth just as my orgasm hit, plunging his tongue unforgivingly into my mouth, devouring me, plundering every place in my mouth as I moaned and cried out. He swallowed my cries and still kept up his vicious assault on every nerve.
He pressed the heel of his hand against my clit just as I was coming down and it threw me into a second orgasm. My insides clamped down viciously on his fingers inside of me, trying to milk them and he groaned like a wild animal as I came apart and gave him all I had to give. His hand around my waist tightened, holding me up.
Thank god, because my knees were so shaky I thought I would collapse at any second, but he just pushed up with his hand still in me and drew me even closer to him. I felt consumed, completely taken over. I melted into his body as I screamed out a second time, Jack murmuring softly into my ear and licking my neck. My entire body shook from the release.
TWENTY-THREE
We stayed there until my shocks subsided and he slowly pulled his hand from me.
I looked up to him, and saw all the love he had for me, reflected in his eyes and I took a deep breath. I fought back the tears that wanted to fall, knowing this wasn’t anything more than what I planned for.
I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to jump up and wrap my legs around his waist letting him carry me upstairs like I could tell he wanted.
Instead, I took a step back and looked away, regaining my self-control.
When I looked back at his eyes, Jack reached for me, but I took another step back and shook my head. I blinked my eyes once, then twice, removing every emotion I had for him. Just as he had done for me.
“Emma,” he said in a voice that bordered on panicking. His breathing quickened faster than normal and not from what we had just shared. But still, I didn’t move to him.
I walked around the couch to avoid his touch and his lustful gaze. With my eyes still on him, I removed his shirt and picked up my coat.
I wrapped it around my half-naked body re-doing the knot, and then brushed my hair off my shoulder.
“Marcus wants me back,” I said as emotionlessly as possible even though my own heart was breaking all over again as anger, then jealousy flashed across his face. “Do you want another man touching me like that, Jack? Another man making me come and scream his name?”
I knew I was playing with fire. Jack could kill Marcus and then destroy him in a single second. I also knew this is what it would take to show him exactly what he was losing.
“Because if you can’t stand it, if the thought of another man’s hands
on me drives you as insane as I think it does, then you need to get your head out of your ass before you lose me completely. I can forgive you for how shitty you treated me, and how you fired me. Because I know.”
I paused and watched him take a deep breath, clearly debating whether to grab me and haul me upstairs, or scream at me, or…something. The vein by his temple popped out as if he was literally about to blow his fucking lid.
“I know you love me, and I know that scares the shit out of you. But you need to have more faith in me. I can be strong and I can deal with a lot of bullshit to fight for what I want. I want you, but I don’t want you if you’re not willing to fight for me or if you’re going to give up, and toss me aside the first time trouble comes our way when you promised – you promised to protect us. I won’t stand for that. I just wanted to remind you what you’re missing.”
“Emma,” he warned frantically, taking a few steps towards me, but I backed up, knowing if he got his hands on me again I would be lost in him completely.
“Marcus will fight for me. He will stand by me…”
“Fuck Marcus!” He yelled, panting.
It was evil. I knew it. It was like poking an angry lion with a stick and I was just asking to get my head bitten off, but it had to be done. I just hoped it didn’t back fire completely.
I winked and picked up my purse. “That’s always an option.”
I turned and left, rushing down the stairway without bothering to wait for the elevator knowing he could chase after me with that threat lingering between us.
“You got the shit beat out of me,” Marcus hissed at me when he came to pick up Logan for another sleepover.
I cringed and shrunk away from him, feeling bad for a moment before I remembered he was lying to me, too.
“You deserved it,” I calmly stated and began picking up the useless college applications strewn all over my coffee table. I had made my choice on schools and the rest were pointless.
“I can’t believe you put me in the middle of this shit.”
For a moment, I felt bad again. Bad enough to wrinkle my nose at Marcus’s swollen black eye. I went and grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer and tossed it towards him.
“Thanks,” he muttered and sat down on the couch. “What did you tell him?”
I blushed as I remembered exactly how that conversation went with Jack.
“Never mind, I don’t think I want to know.”
I chuckled a little bit and shut my mouth. “I didn’t think he’d beat you up. I just told him you wanted me and I was considering it.”
I dropped my eyes, feeling slightly ashamed of myself for using Marcus like this.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered finally. He stared at me like I had two heads. “That wasn’t fair to you. Or I at least should have warned you, but I just can’t be with you Marcus. Too much has changed and I don’t feel the same way about you anymore. I’d love to be a family with you, but I don’t love you anymore. I love him.”
I hadn’t heard from Jack in over twenty-four hours since I high-tailed it out his apartment the night before, but based on the black eye Marcus was sporting, I had clearly impacted him.
Slowly, Marcus nodded reluctantly and sighed. “I know. I know you do. And I think I just wanted what we used to have without realizing we’re now totally different people.”
“I think we can be friends, though.” I sat down next to him, slightly nervous he might smack me for being such a shit to Jack and getting him beat up. “That will be the best for Logan.”
He nodded and tossed his frozen bag of peas in my kitchen sink. “I get it,” he said and leaned down and gently pressed his lips against my cheek. “I love you, though.”
I smiled and winked. “I love you, too. I always will. And I’m really glad you’re back in Logan’s life. He’s been a completely different kid since his dad showed up.”
I pursed my lips and bit back my tears. “You’re a great dad, Marcus.”
I saw his own eyes begin to water up but he did some sort of man sniff to clear them away. “Thanks, Emma.”
“Can you tell me what’s going on yet?” I had a sinking feeling that I wasn’t going to hear from Jack until whatever bullshit he was dealing with was done. Regardless, I was finally better than I had been in weeks. I should have been, after the mind-blowing orgasms he gave me yesterday.
But I threw my cards down and laid my hand out for Jack to see. He knew I wanted him and the ball was in his court, so to speak. I was determined to wait for him; to trust that he loved me and was doing something to protect me, and I would stand by his side figuratively, since I couldn’t be there literally.
And if, when all was said and done he still didn’t want me? Well, I had already made decisions about my future and what was best for me and Logan. Jack could be a part of it, or not, but Logan and I were going to be just fine regardless.
He shook his head and frowned, just a little bit. “I can’t. But I suggest you keep your eye on the news later this week.” He flashed me a wink and walked to the door. “Shit’s gonna get fun.”
I jerked my head back just as Logan came out of his room, backpack in hand, filled with clothes to stay at his dad’s for the night.
I pulled him into a hug and gave him a slobbery kiss on the cheek as he tried to wiggle his way out of my arms. “Not a chance, Logan. I’m never letting you go.”
He laughed with me, and then kissed me back. “I love you mommy.”
I set him down on his feet and kissed him again. “I love you, too. Have fun tonight.”
They both waved to me as they walked out the door, leaving me alone to try to figure out what Marcus said.
I was finally sick and tired of watching the news almost twenty-four hours a day. The only thing I saw were reports on hurricanes hitting the south, earthquakes in India killing thousands of people, the economic collapse causing the highest unemployment rates in history, and dictators killing hundreds of children and women in Uganda.
None of that shit sounded fun.
Listening to the depressing stories of things going on in the world, made me happy that the worst thing I was dealing with was the fact that Jack still hadn’t called.
Whatever was going on, he’d decided not to let me in. I hated it.
But I had cried the last tears I would over him. We were together for just a couple of short months and I refused any longer to sit at home, drinking wine alone after Logan’s bedtime, and staring at the news ticker waiting for whatever was supposed to happen; happen.
Whatever Marcus alluded to the week before didn’t happen, and it was time for me to move on.
Which is how I reluctantly found myself in a bar, connected to one of McMillan Holdings hotels, frowning into my long island ice tea with Dean while we watched Macy and Tate practically copulate on the dance floor. The only bright side was that The Nadas were back in town for one last summer show and I was finally getting a chance to see them for the first time in years.
“Have they always been like this?” Dean asked with a scrunched up looking face while we both stared at them. It was gross, and I’m sure neither one of us wanted to be staring at them making out on the dance floor, but there we stood. Rubbernecking like you just have to do when you pass a car accident on the highway. We just couldn’t look away.
“Yep,” I replied and took a large gulp of my drink. “It’s too bad you weren’t around when they first started dating. Most nights I felt like I should just join in their fun since Tate was always in our dorm room anyway.” I turned to him and winked. “Do you have any idea how small the dorm rooms are at DePaul?”
Dean’s eyes went wide. “Did you…join in?”
I laughed. It was the first genuine time I’d laughed in weeks and I wished in that second, that I could look at Dean and see the hotness right in front of me, instead of a pseudo-brother. I wiggled my eyebrows and smiled coyly, “I will never tell.”
Dean shook his head while laughing. “That’s just wrong, and hot,
all at the same time. I’m not sure what to do with that information.”
“You can get me another drink.” I waved my empty glass in front of him and turned back to the dance floor and the folk rock band on the stage while Dean took his cue. You couldn’t watch The Nadas live and not have a smile on your face and your feet tapping out the beat. I loved them.
Several songs later, Macy and Tate were finally taking a break, waiting their turn in line at the bar, when Dean returned with my drink and awkwardly draped his arm across my shoulder. He pulled me closer into his neck and when I turned toward him, he looked down at me and lightly kissed my temple.
“Jack’s here. Want me to play the new boyfriend and make him jealous all over again like the night of our first date?” His mouth was pressed so close to my ear, I’m sure it looked like he was kissing me to the casual observer.
At least this explained his sudden affection toward me. I debated for a split second before I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.
“You don’t have to do this. I need to get over him.”
“He doesn’t look like he wants to get over you anytime soon.” He nodded and slowly relaxed his hold on me and I followed his nod in the direction he indicated.
Jack stood several tables away. Dozens of people were crushed in between us and I heard the music playing on the stage to my far right. I think I even vaguely remembered that Dean was still next to me, holding me like we were together.
He leaned forward and whispered in my ear again, “Come on, tell me it won’t be fun to play with him just a little bit more. The man still clearly wants you.”
Dean was right. Even from the distance that separated us, I could see the tension in Jack’s shoulders. His eyes pierced into me so completely, it felt like he was standing right in front of me.