by Stacey Lynn
“I’m sorry,” Jack finally said, as we stood there staring at each other for who knows how long. “I’m sorry for everything….for hurting you.”
“Why did you?” I asked, quickly blinking back the tears of frustration, anger and pain that I tried so hard, every day, to keep in check so no one could truly see how much he broke me.
He shook his head and took a deep breath. “I can’t….I can’t tell you. Just know that it was best thing for everyone, considering.”
“Considering what, Jack? Why can’t you just be honest with me for once and stop screwing around with my head?” And my heart. I felt my chin begin to tremble and knew I couldn’t hold back the tears for too much longer.
“Just forget it,” I said as I lowered my head and tried to walk around him. He grabbed my elbow as I passed him, his large warm hand that I knew with so much familiarity instantly left a burning sensation and a trail of goose bumps along my arm. When I tried to pull out of his grasp, he held on tighter; not hard enough to hurt me, but with enough force to let me know we clearly weren’t done with our conversation.
“I can’t forget it. And I can’t forget you. Just…shit!” He yelled and pulled me to him. Without warning, my body was flushed to him, his hand still gripping my elbow and his other hand wrapped around my waist. “I miss you, and I’m sorry I hurt you. But I need you to know that I’m hurting too, and I’m trying to fix everything.”
I wiggled with enough force that he finally let me go. “There’s nothing to fix,” I said once I took a few steps away, closer to the entrance to SkyJump, although I really wanted to throw myself back into his arms. I wanted him to make me forget my pain. I wanted his hands on me and to breathe him in like he used to let me do after he’d screwed me senseless. Memories of our time together assaulted me on the sidewalk as I stared at the man I loved.
“You ruined us, Jack. There’s nothing else to say.”
I turned to walk away and ran smack into a firm wall of muscle. “Are you okay?” Marcus whispered into my ear. I wrapped my arms around his waist without even thinking, or caring, that Jack was still there watching me. I nodded, although I knew my tears were already falling silently against his sweaty shirt.
“You need to leave,” Marcus said, not backing down from Jack or removing his arms from mine. “You know what this could do.”
Even in my emotional breakdown, I knew something was going on that I didn’t understand, and yet, needed to know.
“What are you talking about?” I finally pulled back and stepped away from Marcus. He pressed his lips together and I turned to Jack who was still there, boring his eyes into mine. Pleading with me for….something.
Marcus shook his head.
“What are you two not telling me?” I demanded, my voice raising with every word.
They ignored me, but Jack turned to Marcus. “Keep your hands off her.”
“Fuck you, Jack.” I spat at him, but he pretended I wasn’t there as he stalked angrily towards Marcus.
“You’re using this to your advantage, aren’t you?” He glared at Marcus and I watched these two men stand off against each other. What in the hell was he talking about? “You little shit. I will fire you if you screw me over once this is all said and done.”
Marcus smirked and I cringed. It was the same evil look his dad had mastered. I had never seen him look so feral. “I don’t need this job, Jack. And you and I both know you need me right now to clean up this fucking mess you made.”
“And you think you’ll swoop in and play the knight in shining armor instead of doing your damn job? You and I both know she’s still mine.”
“Excuse me?” I gasped, stunned. “I don’t belong to either of you and I’m not going to stand here like some fire hydrant for you guys to piss all over. Someone better tell me what in the hell is going on, right now.”
Jack inhaled through his nose, rolled his shoulders back and ground his teeth together. He didn’t look at me, just continued to stare at Marcus as if he could set him on fire just by staring at him. I knew I felt the air heat by that deadly gaze.
I looked at Marcus, who looked equally angry. “It’ll be over soon, and then she can decide.”
Was I even there? Was I standing there, between these two men, letting them decide that I got to make a decision? My head spun.
“What’s going on?” I repeated and then understanding dawned on me. Senator Whitmore’s claims at the charity ball and Jack needing Marcus. Somehow, they were connected to the reason Jack fired me and treated me like shit.
“This has to do with your dad, doesn’t it?” I asked. My eyes grew larger as everything started to make sense. The Senator had promised me that if he wasn’t allowed to see Logan, he’d go public with a scandal to ruin Jack. Something must have happened.
I felt like I was living in a pinball arcade game as my eyes bounced back and forth between Marcus and Jack. Marcus’s skin color paled in front of my eyes and Jack looked down at the ground.
“Fine,” I said reluctantly and began walking towards the front door. “When either of you can be honest with me, I’ll be willing to listen. But I’m pissed at both of you for lying to me and thinking so little of me that you can’t tell me what’s really going on.”
“I can’t.”
“Whatever, Jack. You can do anything you want. You made your choice, and, it was a shitty one. One that I probably won’t be willing to forgive you for. When you can tell me what it is you think you’re trying to protect me from, I’ll listen. But only because it apparently concerns me and I have a right to know.” I looked to Marcus, “I expected honesty from you, too. After all the shit that lying has done to us, I had higher expectations for you.”
They had the decency to look chagrined at my outburst. Whatever.
“You both can fuck off,” I spit out and re-entered SkyJump.
Dean was talking with Tate and Macy, all three of them clearly concerned about me. “Is it time to open presents and do cake?” I asked, dawning a plastic smile so I could avoid explaining.
Tate went to gather the kids. It gave me a vision of what it would be like to herd cats hopped on steroids. He bounced around the trampolines trying to usher the little kids to the edge of the mats, while they all bounced around and laughed at him pretending to be a monster. Finally, he shouted, “Cake!” And I watched the herd of cats suddenly get in a straight line and run, full speed towards our little party room.
“You okay?” Dean asked, still looking at Marcus and Jack through the windows. They were clearly arguing, Jack looked full on alpha-male pissed off, but Marcus wasn’t backing down either as he argued right back and shook his head.
“Whatever. They’re both assholes.” I turned into Dean’s protective arm once again and let him lead me to the party room. We waited a few minutes, trying to get the kids’ shoes back on, and have them calm down while we waited for Marcus to come back in. He eventually did, breathing heavily, his face red in anger. We sang happy birthday, ate cake, and watched Logan smile, laugh and rip open birthday presents, squealing with happiness with each new favorite toy he received.
“So what do you think is really going on?”
I scrunched up my nose and shook my head. “I don’t know, Macy. I know it has something to do with the Senator threatening me at the charity ball. My guess is he found something he could use to threaten Jack with to get close to Logan.”
“Will it change anything if Jack did all of this to protect you and Logan? I know how much you love him.”
“I don’t know,” I replied and went back to cleaning up my kitchen. My entire apartment was a disaster since we had dinner and let Logan rip open all of his new toys, mostly Legos, as soon as we got back from the trampoline park. “I just wish he could have been honest with me. If he’s trying to protect me, I have a right to know. You know?”
“Do you really think Marcus is using all of this to get you back?” I didn’t know. What Jack said made sense, and Macy did not even know about Ma
rcus asking for us to be a family again. I refused to tell her since she still didn’t fully trust him. I wasn’t sure I did either, anymore. Not with him keeping secrets from me too.
“I feel like I owe it to Logan to try sometimes, you know? But then I realize that I just don’t think of Marcus like that anymore, and I’d hate to try and just disappoint Logan again.”
“You don’t date someone out of obligation, Emma.”
I nodded. I knew that. I just hated the idea of disappointing Logan. He had already lost so much, and had so much thrown at him recently.
“Besides,” she said with a cheeky smirk. “You still love Jack.”
I wrinkled my nose. I did, damn it. And I sort of hated that I did. I was reeling from the realization that maybe he had actually done all this to protect me.
“Yeah. I do.”
TWENTY-TWO
Curiosity was beginning to kill me. I had to know what was going on, and I knew the one way I could get Jack to talk to me.
Plans made, I dropped Logan off at school early and made my way to Jack’s penthouse, the one place I didn't think I would ever go again.
“Miss Emma! It’s….you’re here.” I turned and walked towards Perry, the doorman at Jack’s building. He and I had talked a lot over the last five years. He was old. Like so old he should have retired a decade ago, but he always said as long as he was able to read the numbers on the phone dials, and open doors, he’d still be working. He looked nervous as he fidgeted with his grey top and the edges of his long grey suit coat.
“Hello Perry. I’m here to see Jack.” I plastered on my most friendly smile, hoping for old time’s sake that he’d let me through.
Perry’s expression paled and he slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry Miss Emma. Jack said you’re not allowed up in the building.”
I tried to hide my hurt at learning this. What other lengths had Jack gone to keep me away from him? Why would he even bother doing this?
“Well, can you please tell him I’m here? I really need to speak to him.” He looked at me doubtfully and the little light bulb in my head went off. “Tell him it’s about Logan, and it’s an emergency.”
“Is it about Logan?” Perry asked me with a mischievous smile. I smiled innocently and shrugged as he picked up the phone. “You’re not going to cost me my job are you?”
“I doubt it, Perry. It’ll be fine, trust me.”
I watched him dial Jack’s penthouse number and then stiffen once he explained I was here. He looked at me and frowned, and I knew Jack refused to see me.
I smiled sweetly and wiggled my fingers at Perry, gesturing for him to hand me the phone. ‘Please?’ I mouthed silently.
Reluctantly, he handed me the phone.
“Hello, Jack. I’d like to talk to you.”
Jack sighed through the phone. “I can’t see you, Emma.”
“Okay. I’ll stay right here in this lobby, or in the garage by your car, until you leave and agree to see me, or call the cops to have me removed from the building. Although I doubt that would be the smartest move considering everything else you’re going through.”
I could practically see him running his hands through his hair, gripping the edge of the countertop and a vein in his neck sticking out as he considered his options.
“What game are you playing right now, Emma?”
I smirked, even though he couldn’t see me. “What game are you playing? Just ten minutes of your time, Jack. That’s all I’m asking – you owe me this and you know it.”
“Fine. Tell Perry to send you up.”
“See you soon,” I sang sweetly into the phone. I swear before he hung up that I heard a low growl come through the phone.
I handed the phone to Perry and allowed him to walk me to the elevator. Once inside, I took a deep breath, fluffed my hair, and tightened the belt on my knee-length grey rain coat. I kept my eyes on my reflection in the shiny metal doors the entire ride up to the penthouse, hoping I had the courage to go through with my plan to not only get Jack to talk to me and tell me what was going on, but to admit that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
It was a huge gamble. And one that I was willing to risk because after taking a long time, days and weeks to think about everything I had with Jack and lost once he kicked me out, I realized that he was who I wanted.
I had yet to let Marcus know, but it didn’t matter. Logan would forever link us, and while I was thankful that we could be friends, and even though I may have been physically attracted to him, I didn’t feel the same way for him that I used to. I had grown up in the five years since we’d been together. Jack was the man I loved.
Jack was the man I wanted.
The elevator dinged and I took a deep breath, waiting for them to open in the entryway of his apartment. I only hoped I could convince him he still wanted me.
“Hello,” he said curtly as I stood in the doorway to his condo.
I raised my eyebrows and clenched the knot on my coat’s belt with both hands to keep from fidgeting. He looked as incredible as ever in faded jeans and a long-sleeve grey fitted t-shirt. I had rubbed my hands and tongue over every single valley on his muscular stomach and chest. I missed it like crazy.
“You going to invite me in?” I asked saucily as he stood there, watching me with hooded eyes. I pulled out whatever bravado I had to keep my fears at bay and inwardly smiled when he watched me lick my bottom lip suggestively.
A quick look down showed me that he wasn’t unaffected by my presence.
Good.
Slowly he stepped back from the door and I watched him erase the look of lust that had flicked across his face. I walked through the apartment and took a deep breath as I saw his couch come into view. It was the last place I had been with Jack. Where he had so forcefully taken me, not caring that he hurt me. I bit my lip to keep my tears and hurt away.
I flinched when Jack came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at it, then him. By the look of sorrow written across his face, he was thinking and remembering the same thing I was, and he wasn’t any happier about it.
He slowly removed his hand from my shoulder without saying anything, but I knew. I knew why he did it now. He knew it was the last time we’d be together and he was desperate.
Just like I was desperate now.
“I take it everything is okay with Logan?” he asked with a smirk. I ignored the deep, baritone tremor in his voice and shook my head. “Can I take your coat?”
I smiled and turned my back to him, undoing my belt. “Sure.”
He hissed in a breath through his teeth as he lowered my coat to my elbows, and then he froze. I bit back a smile as he muttered a string of curse words. I slinked out of my coat and took a few steps away, so he could see the full effect, before he could slide the coat back on.
“Fu-ck,” he muttered when I turned around. He rubbed one hand down his face and closed his eyes, most likely hoping he was seeing a mirage.
I looked down at my black thigh highs, lacey garter belt and matching black lace demi bra and back to him and smiled.
“Get dressed,” he demanded and held out my coat.
I took a few steps backwards and shook my head. “We need to talk.”
“You think I can talk when you look like that? Christ, Emma. You’re not even wearing underwear.” His frustration, and arousal, were evident and I didn’t bother hiding my giggle of happiness. I was watching him unravel in front of me.
“You like me bare for you.” I rubbed the palms of my hands against my hips and thighs, resisting the urge to cover up in front of him.
“Shit.” He turned and left the room, running upstairs, faster than I had ever seen him move while I stood still, in the middle of his living room, shocked that he had run away from me. I frowned, and just as I debated whether to hang my head and slink out of there, or chase him upstairs, I heard his footsteps in the hallway upstairs and knew he was coming back down.
He held out one of his white dress
shirts, staying an arms-length away from me. Frustration etched in every one of his facial features.
“No.” I crossed my arms against my stomach. It only served to push my full, aching breasts up further and I watched Jack’s gaze settle on them, before drifting lower to my bare skin that I knew he wanted to get his hands on. He couldn’t hide his desire from me.
Even if it pissed him off that he wanted me.
“Put the shirt on.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I can’t talk to you when you’re dressed like this. Put the damn shirt on and I’ll talk to you.”
I took it from him reluctantly and pushed my arms through my sleeves. “It’s on.”
I smiled when he cursed at me again. “Button. It.”
I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. I loved his frustration. I loved how his eyes darkened, knowing how much he wanted me. How hard he was trying to resist taking me and having his way with me. I reveled in it and I knew I could have him back. Every look he gave me showed me how much he loved me. I saw how much he desired me. His pants grew tighter as his crotch grew more uncomfortable and I giggled again. I did. Like a school girl, and I didn’t care.
“You do it,” I finally said, not surprised at all that my voice came out in a deep whisper.
Jack closed his mouth and I watched as he licked across the front of his teeth. With his hands balled into tights fists at his sides, I knew he was trying to resist ripping his shirt off and throwing me over his couch again.
I loved it. I loved how I could bring him to the brink of losing all self-control. I watched him debate what I said before he finally closed the space between us. He started at the lowest button and focused on each button and his fingers as if it were the most precious project in the entire world. He held his shirt and hands far enough away from me so there was no chance of his skin brushing up against mine.