His Ex-Boyfriend

by Avis Black

  But not the end of the longing.

  Rafe grabbed Alexis's car keys, stubbing out his cigarette as he rose. He needed to talk to Jason. He startled backwards as the apartment door opened.

  "What's burning?" Alexis asked, sniffing the air. The singer deftly twisted the keys out of Rafe's fingers before the surprised student could react. "You've been chain-smoking again. You know you shouldn't. Mr. Bunny's going to turn all tarry and brown! We need to go meet Diane's plane at the airport." Alexis bounded away, opening windows and waving his arms to shoo the smoke out. "Your lungs are going to be like the bottom of an old frying pan. Oh yes, I need this." Alexis lifted the samurai sword off the wall.

  Rafe bowed his head to fiddle with his cigarette pack. “Any particular reason why?"

  "The film's about a samurai, and I want Moreno to see what a well-made sword looks like." The singer picked up Mr. Bunny. “RABBIT-FU!" Mellor swung the weapon so hard that the sheath flew off the blade and impaled a curtain. Alexis blushed. “You didn't see that."

  Cautiously, Rafe retrieved the sheath. "I think we need to go, Fu-bear."

  At the front door of the apartment building, they found Carl waiting for them in his car. “I'm coming along,” he called to them.

  “You don't need to do this,” Alexis replied. “I was planning to drive.” Nonetheless, he climbed inside with Rafe.

  “I thought my presence might be required.” Carl took the sword away from Alexis, and Rafe was relieved to see it out of his boyfriend's hands. “Someone else is also taking his wife to the airport today.”

  “Who?” asked Alexis.

  Rafe's stomach tightened. He already knew who it was.

  They had to push their way through a crowd. Flashing cameras, gawking tourists, and a TV crew had already surrounded the baggage carousel.

  Carl chose to stay outside. “I've met her before,” he said aside to Rafe, “and that was enough. I'll be waiting for you near her limo.”

  Diane was clasping the arm of a bespectacled Italian man, smiling at the TV crew as if surprised to find them there. The director was portly and balding, poured into his jeans and baseball cap. Diane in her heels, capri pants, and halter top, was nearly an inch taller than her escort; and the actress, as if aware of this faux pas, had developed a crouch. This posture made her low neckline gape deeply over her loose, heavily shifting cleavage, and the cameras were taking full advantage. The actress was obviously not a believer in brassieres.

  Alexis towed Rafe forward and introduced him. While the singer showed Moreno the sword, Diane purred to Rafe, "Could you be a dear and bring my bags over to the limo?" For some reason, she thought it necessary to slide her hand up his arm as she spoke. Her sharp red nails, gleaming bright as her lipstick, reminded him of the tiny metal claws that held diamonds in their settings.

  "Um, sure. What do they look like?"

  "They're the Armani ones over in that corner."

  "But Ms. Durand, there are eighteen of them."

  "Yes?" She seemed not to comprehend the difficulty. Her hand kneaded his shoulder, and a finger flicked open his top shirt button. Diane was apparently a serious toucher and fondler. A slight shift caused a buckle in her top, and he realized with amazement that he was actually seeing her navel ring. Diane reached up to fix her hair, and somehow her top shifted too far to one side, revealing a breast. Camera bulbs flashed. Diane seemed surprised. She laughed a little and casually tugged her shirt back into place. Rafe had only one dazed second to realize he'd been involved in a serious media incident before she was touching him again, running her fingers across his chest.

  "How about the bags, honey?" Diane repeated. The fingertips kneaded his ribs enticingly, like cat-paws.

  Rafe stumbled backwards. He missed the rueful shake of Moreno's head and Alexis's amusement behind the sunglasses.

  "He's pretty, but dumb,” said Diane to Alexis. “Is he any good?"

  "He's very nice," Alexis replied. Moreno was preoccupied with signing autographs, and Diane leaned over. "Do you mind if I borrow him?"

  The singer eyed Rafe, grunting and sweating suitcases into a pile on a luggage cart. "Eh, maybe not, Diane dear. Things are sort of delicate right now."

  "Oh?"

  "Sort of I-take-one-more-wrong-step-and-bam delicate, 'cause I've reached my limit on wrong steps."

  "How did that happen?" Diane said, arranging a stray hair.

  "I have competition. He's nice, sturdy, sane, glamorous, courteous, and I'd like to kill him."

  "Hey, fix him up with me. Wait, I've just remembered something."

  Rafe felt a tug as he swung the last suitcase on top of his Armani Himalaya. Gasping with exertion, he said, "Yes, Ms. Durand?"

  Diane gave him a very pretty smile. "Could you do me one more eensy-teensy favor? Over there where they do the special handling, they've got my two pets, Kong and Violet. Could you fetch them, please?"

  Rafe wobbled over towards the appropriate office. Once inside, he explained his errand to the official behind the desk, nearly drowned out by the roar of airplane engines coming from the attached bay. He was presented with two tiny Pekinese dogs inside pet carriers. Rather to his disgust, the excitable little animals yapped nonstop as he lugged them over to the Himalaya. It took him several minutes to find spots on the mountain to strap the carriers, and as tempted as he was to hang the annoying little dogs upside down, he felt obliged to give them semi-upright positions. Once finished, he began to tow the mountain towards the sliding doors out to the limo, straining like a mule in its traces.

  Diane, distracted by the TV crew, called out to him, "Honey, could you bring Kong over? She sounds upset, poor dear."

  "Yes, Ms. Durand." Rafe supposed one dog was as good as another. He couldn't have told them apart himself. But when he opened the nearest cage, the feisty little dog tried to maul him. "Hey!" Fortunately, he was a human being, and this was just a nuisancy little kick-dog. He kept his fingers away from its jaws long enough to drop the thing into Diane's hands, and it promptly bit her. Rafe's heart warmed slightly to the animal.

  Diane yelped and grabbed the dog by the scruff. "What!? Kong, how could you? You never bite! Wait, this isn't Kong." The actress bent over the dog's name tag. "This is a Charlie. Charlie?!"

  As if his name was a trigger, the Pekinese bit again, harder. Diane screeched and dropped the animal, which ran off. "Where's Kong? Where's Violet? You take that dog back right now and find my pets!" she bawled at Rafe.

  "Kong is over here with the luggage," Alexis yelled from the baggage cart. "It's just Violet that's missing."

  Cursing, Rafe chased after the loose dog. Charlie may have been small, but he was fleet and invigorated by his new freedom. Once the dog sensed pursuit, he leapt on top of the moving luggage carousel and ran along it like a greyhound.

  In his childhood, Rafe had sometimes dreamt of playing on a luggage carousel. It had always been so tempting whenever he was inside an airport. But it was a very different thing when you were doing the hurdles over other people's luggage and chasing someone else's damn dog. The entire room seemed to be smirking at him. Just as Charlie tried to escape through the black rubber flaps into the bay beyond, Rafe grabbed his collar. Winded, the student shoved the thrashing dog back into the carrier and lugged the whole ensemble over to the official.

  "Sorry, I accidentally took the wrong dog. I need a Violet Durand."

  He accompanied the official back into the luggage bay to prevent another mistake, and together they hunted for the missing Violet.

  "Here!" called Rafe. "This label spells 'Violet'--HOLY SHIT!"

  He jumped backwards just in time. The snake struck the metal bars of the cage, hissing sulkily as it missed. Rafe gaped, as did the official. Violet was big. Very big. She was a thick, coiled, full-size--

  "Anaconda?" Rafe guessed. "Boa Constrictor?"

  "Yours," the official replied, backing away.

  "Aw, crap." Carefully, Rafe made his approach. He tried to heft the cage, but failed.
"Damn! What do you weigh? A hundred pounds? You're nothing but a massive intestinal canal with fangs."

  After consultation with the official, Rafe was given a loading dolly so he could wheel the snake out to the baggage claim. The man helped him hoist the snake onto it.

  "Violet!" Alexis exclaimed when the snake arrived. "You've grown!"

  "Violet," Diane sighed. "We found you."

  "That's yours?" Moreno asked with a slightly aghast expression.

  Before anyone could stop him, Alexis placed Mr. Bunny on top of his head, opened the cage, and hefted out lengths of snake.

  Lexi!" Rafe bawled.

  Ignoring his boyfriend, Alexis let the snake drop loops around him. "Don't worry, she feels more secure when she's got hold of something. She's just like a little kid that grabs your shoulders when you pick her up."

  "Lexi," said Rafe in strangled tones.

  "You're such a big, big snake now," Alexis cooed, holding Violet's head aloft. Violet greeted the singer by opening her mouth wide, and Alexis imitated her.

  "She looks big enough to swallow you," Rafe whimpered.

  "Extensible jaws. She probably can," Alexis agreed. Above the singer's face, Mr. Bunny was swaying on his perch, ears and paws flopping. Violet's tiny eyes fixed on the rabbit.

  The strike was so fast that no human eye could have detected it. Nonetheless, the jaws closed on empty air. Rafe had snatched the rabbit off Alexis's head an instant before disaster.

  "I think she needs to go back inside her cage," said the student tightly. He was hugging Mr. Bunny protectively.

  Alexis tsked. "Violet! You wanted to eat Mr. Bunny? Bad snake. He would only have given you a tummy ache, anyway. You must be hungry. Diane, I think she needs feeding."

  "I'll give her some chopped mice in a little while," Diane replied, still posing for the television crew. "Be a dear and put her away, will you?"

  Rafe helped unwrap his boyfriend and together, the student and singer pushed Violet inside her cage, though parts of the snake kept bulging out every time they thought they had her in. Hearing Kong yap, Rafe whispered to his boyfriend, "We could feed her Kong."

  The singer replied by rubbing Mr. Bunny in Rafe's face. Rafe laughed and wrestled with his boyfriend for a moment. Distracted, neither noticed that they hadn't latched the carrier shut correctly.

  Alexis looked up, and his smile faded. Rafe followed the singer's gaze and saw Jason.

  The guitarist shifted the baby carrier in his arms. Alexis? What's he doing here? And what's with that pile of bags? Wait, there's--

  Rafe straightened and noticed Jason at the same moment. Jason buried his face in the carrier as if Leila needed sudden attention.

  "Good afternoon," Amanda said to Alexis and Rafe. "Jason's dropping me and the baby off for my flight home. This will be Leila's first visit with my parents. It's nice to run into you two again."

  Alexis smiled at her. Rafe's eyes skittered everywhere, avoiding Jason.

  He's been sweating, thought Jason. His shirt is sticking to his chest in damp patches. He looks the way he did after one of our sessions--wrung-out, exhausted.

  Yes, I know, Rafe's solemn eyes replied.

  Jason hid his face inside the carrier again. Ack! He can spot my ogle a mile off. Leila's bootie-clad foot kicked Jason in the chin, and her father startled, blinking.

  Alexis bent over the carrier with him, ignoring Jason's narrowing eyes. "She's holding Bunny Junior! Look, she can see him now!" Alexis pushed his sunglasses up to beam at the baby, and Leila gurgled obligingly and waved her bunny. "She's adorable," Alexis sighed. "Nose-kiss!" He gave the baby a wet smack, and Leila squealed with pleasure.

  Amanda giggled.

  How the hell does he do it? Leila's barely registered that I'm a person, much less her father, thought Jason irritably. "I'm setting her down. She's kind of heavy. What's with that TV camera? Is something happening?" He placed the carrier on the floor next to Diane's piled luggage cart.

  "What a coincidence to meet you," Amanda said. "Were you flying somewhere, Mr. Mellor? Wait. Look over there!" She jarred Jason's arm and his thoughts. "Is that--?"

  "Damn straight," Rafe assured her. "I've been schlepping her effing luggage."

  "Jason, that's Diane Durand! Do you remember seeing her in that movie?"

  Alexis was speaking to Rafe. "Now, now. Diane promised me she'd tip you."

  "Are you sure I didn't get it already?" Rafe made a confused gesture over his shirt. "I wasn't planning on learning she had a navel ring."

  Jason's jealousy flared. "Navel ring? What are you--"

  Too many people were distracted. Celebrities, lovers, rivals, ex-lovers--all failed to pay attention. A cage door nudged open, and Violet emerged with a slow, oozing ripple. She slid between the cage and luggage cart, instinctively keeping herself hidden. She detected a ruckus, and disliking this, slithered underneath the luggage cart. Then she smelled something interesting. It was small and wiggling, and positioned right in front of her. Violet's nose lifted. She was facing a baby carrier.

  The baby went still at the sight of the strange, reptilian head.

  Violet was hungry. In her dim little mind, she remembered this.

  A tiny noise of disquiet escaped the baby, but went unheard by those around her.

  The snake struck. There was a whoosh. Blood sprayed in a neat line, speckling Diane's suitcases. Jason and Amanda were thrown apart as someone shoved between them. A moment later, everyone was shouting. The TV camera turned and caught an object bouncing along the floor like a football. It collided with Diane's leg, and the actress shrieked when she saw it.

  It was Violet's decapitated head.

  Carl was standing over the snake's dead body, holding a bloody samurai sword in the air as a gore-spattered Leila wailed at his feet.

  "Holy fuck! What the hell was that?" Jason shouted. Amanda, seeing blood on Leila's face, screamed uncomprehendingly at Carl and dove for her daughter.

  "What on earth are you doing with that sword?" Amanda yelled at the manager. "Get AWAY from my baby."

  "Oh boy," said Rafe, edging away guiltily. Carl was motionless, his eyes taking in Diane wailing over Violet and being comforted by Moreno. They noticed the TV camera and the fans. They looked pityingly at the frantic mother wiping her baby's face and at the bewildered father who hovered uselessly.

  Alexis gazed down at the dead snake and shut his eyes. Then he turned away with a sad expression and knelt by the sobbing baby. "Leila's not hurt, Amanda. She just had a scare, that's all. Here, I'll show you." Alexis crooned soothingly to Leila and made Bunny Junior snuggle the baby. In response, Leila's sobs died down to whimpers.

  "Thank you so much, Mr. Mellor. I'm so grateful to you for your help. I can't understand what this insane man thinks he's doing." Amanda began to beat wildly against Carl's legs. "Get away! I told you to get the hell away from her or I'll call the police!"

  Still confused, Jason traced the bloody line, shuddering at the smeared blade in Carl's hand. Then he saw the snake's half-hidden body, and his eyes widened. "What the fuck? Wait a second, Amanda."

  "It was Diane's pet snake," Rafe murmured quickly in Jason's ear. "It got loose and Carl killed it just in time."

  At that moment, the snake's owner came storming up to Carl. "You did that deliberately," Diane fumed. "You fucking bastard. I can't believe you murdered poor Violet."

  The slap ruffled Carl's hair, but the manager didn't flinch.

  "Knock it off!" Jason shouted at her. "Hollywood actress or not, you don't do that. He just saved my daughter's life! Get out of here and take your goddamned camera crew with you. Carl, are you all right? Wait, Amanda!"

  Amanda had hoisted the carrier. "I've had enough of you and your crazy violence!" she yelled at Carl. "Jason, grab my suitcase! We're leaving right now."

  "But Amanda, he didn't--"

  The enraged woman leaned close to Jason's ear and hissed something. The guitarist paled. Carl, alone among the others, had caught Amanda's voice
. He gave Jason a glance of sympathy.

  "No! Amanda!" Jason yelled. But his wife was already hurrying off towards the ticket counter.

  "Carl," said Jason, his face in agony. "I'm sorry. She didn't understand. I don't believe this. She just--"

  "Go after her," the manager insisted. Wretchedly, Jason nodded and ran after his wife.

  "Do something with the body," Alexis whispered to Rafe. "It's upsetting Diane."

  Rafe swallowed hard as he contemplated the remains of the snake. He tried to ignore the severed neck, and with a series of hard tugs, dragged Violet out from under the luggage cart. Unfortunately, Violet dead was even more difficult to handle than Violet alive. After studying the problem, Rafe decided to wind her up like a big garden hose. His struggles with the undulating, flopping lengths of snake became so graphic that Alexis choked. Surreptitiously, the singer hauled the overloaded luggage cart between Diane and the snake, attempting to screen out this manhandling of poor Violet.

  "Diane." Moreno tapped her shoulder and pointed at Kong.

  "Oh!" Diane gasped. "Kong!"

  The hungry little dog had finally obtained dinner. Part of Violet's spattered entrails had landed inside the cage, and the Pekinese was chewing vigorously. The dog's expression indicated that though this was certainly not his usual fare, it served well enough.

  For the first time that day, Carl grinned. He pulled out a handkerchief and began to clean blood off the sword.

  "Not there!" Alexis hissed to Rafe. Frantically, the singer checked to see if Diane had noticed.

  Rafe stopped. He was in the middle of stuffing Violet inside the nearest garbage barrel. With much flailing, Alexis managed to mime 'horrible social blunder--put back inside cage for burial with decent snakely honors.'

  Annoyed, Rafe hauled the snake back out of the trash, trailing soggy soft drink cups and old newspapers. He managed to squeeze Violet part way back inside the carrier, but much of the snake's body still bulged out, stiff and hard as old tires. Grimly, he locked his arms on both sides of the carrier and shoved Violet in with his feet.