by Kira Chase
“What about Jaylene’s partner?”
“Jaylene dumped her the week before. Well, to make a long story short, Karen moved out of my house that day and in with Jaylene.”
Rachel frowned. “There’s one thing I don’t understand.”
“What’s that?”
“If Karen is living with Jaylene then why doesn’t she ever come here with her?”
Angela’s face darkened. “Karen called me several weeks ago. It seems that Jaylene drained her savings and then tossed her out on her butt. I tried to muster up some sympathy for her, but all I could think about was the pain she and Jaylene had caused me. In all the time she’d been with Jaylene, she’d never spoken to me or even acknowledged me when I’d run into them together. It was like she was mocking me. Her coldness towards me ripped my heart out. She’d betrayed everything I had cherished with her.” She rapidly blinked, but not before a tear escaped from her eye.
“Where’s Karen now?”
Angela shrugged. “I think she moved out of the city. When I told her that she couldn’t move back in with me even in a platonic capacity she called me a few choice names and that was the last time she spoke to me. The last I heard was that she was considering moving back to the mid-west.”
“I can certainly now understand how seeing Jaylene upsets you,” Rachel sympathized.
“That’s why I warned you about her.” Angela studied her. “You’re a beautiful woman, Rachel, and new to the city. To Jaylene, you’d be new fresh pickings.”
Rachel stiffened. “I have no intention of getting involved with Jaylene or anyone for that matter. My romantic life is too complicated at the moment.”
Angela nodded. “You left someone behind when you moved here, didn’t you?”
Rachel inhaled deeply then slowly let her breath out. “Yes, I did.”
“You never told me much about your past.”
“There’s not a whole lot to tell. I still love Kerri and will remain faithful to her, but I have no way of knowing where I stand with her.”
“Have you asked her?” Angela gently prodded.
“Several times, but she refuses to discuss us unless I come back home. I know I appear very selfish for just up and leaving, but now that I’m here, it’s everything I dreamed it would be. I’ve never before felt so alive and free to be me. I know if Kerri got out of Wilson Point she’d see what I’ve been talking about. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much being cooped up in a small narrow minded town all of my life,” Rachel resentfully retorted.
“Have you asked her to come to New York?”
“Yes, but she won’t.”
“I’m assuming that you discussed your feelings with her before moving here?”
“I tried to, but she doesn’t seem to be as bothered by the isolation in Wilson Point as I was. Until I came here I never realized how opposite we are in our wants and needs.”
“They say that opposites attract,” Angela reminded her. “Did you two have any gay friends there to get together with?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s a very strait laced conservative community and acceptance there if one is gay is almost non-existent. A gay person will barely be tolerated let alone respected. To be safe we stayed in the closet. There were a few gay bars out of town we’d go to once in awhile, but that was about it. We never developed any friendships just acquaintances.”
Angela looked intently at her. “It’s not fair to either of you to leave your relationship up in the air. You need to talk it out.”
“I know and I’ve tried, but she won’t listen. She says that in a couple of years we can move, but so many things can happen in a couple of years and as much as I love her, I can’t wait. Besides, I’m afraid that she’ll come up with yet another excuse not to leave after she finishes design school.”
“If your love is strong enough you can wait,” Angela counseled. “But the real problem, in my opinion, seems to be communication. You both need to compromise. You know, one gives a little on one point and the other on another point. It can’t be all one-sided. You both appear to be set in what you want without actually seeing the effect it is having on the other. Talk to her. I can see in your eyes that you’re afraid,” she softly said. “Don’t be afraid. If you two don’t talk, you’ll never be able to totally move on with your life with or without her.”
Chapter Seven
Kerri sat at the bar slowly sipping her beer. She hadn’t planned to go anywhere tonight, but the unbearable loneliness had stifled her to the point that if she didn’t get out of the apartment she’d lose her mind. She watched couples laughing, dancing and sharing intimate kisses. She felt a stab in her heart and missed Rachel even more. The last time they’d been here they were celebrating their two-year anniversary. She tightened her grip on her beer bottle.
“Hi, Kerri? Where’s your other half?”
Kerri slightly turned her head. “Hi, Bonnie.”
The pretty young blond propped herself on the stool next to Kerri. “So, where is Rachel tonight?”
Kerri shrugged. “Roaming around New York City.”
Bonnie’s eyebrows shot up. “What’s she doing there?”
“Finding herself,” Kerri sullenly replied.
“You two didn’t break up or anything like that did you?” she prodded.
Kerri sighed heavily. “I have no idea.”
“Hey, let me get you another beer.”
Kerri didn’t protest even though she knew she’d already had way too much to drink. But the alcohol seemed to lesson the pain in her heart and right now, all she wanted to do was escape that pain in whatever way she could. She glanced at Bonnie. “Thanks.”
Bonnie nodded as she picked up her rum and coke. “You look like you could use a friend.”
“Tonight this beer is my friend. So are you flying solo tonight?”
Bonnie grinned her sparkling blue eyes gleaming in the dim light. “Aren’t I always?”
Kerri chucked. She liked Bonnie. She and Rachel had run into her almost every time they came in here. They’d never exchanged more than a few sentences with her, but Bonnie had always been friendly towards them and they had both agreed that they liked her bubbly personality. Each time they’d seen her, she had someone new on her arm. She’d indicated that she wasn’t ready to commit to any one woman, but instead enjoyed playing the field. She’d know when the right woman came along and until that happened she was content.
“No one’s caught your eye?” Kerri motioned to the crowded dance floor.
“Maybe one or two, but since they have partners they’re definitely off limits.”
Bonnie’s soft hair fell loosely about her shoulders. Her features were delicate and perfectly accentuated her petite body. She was wearing a short skirt and low cut blouse that showed enough cleavage to tease one into wondering what those full perky breasts would look like set free. Kerri’s eyes stayed riveted for a few seconds on Bonnie’s breasts. Abruptly she brought her eyes back up to Bonnie’s. If Bonnie had noticed, she didn’t let on which relieved Kerri.
“There’s a lot of nice looking women here tonight,” Kerri observed.
Bonnie’s eyes narrowed. “There always has been; you just never noticed before.” She laughed. “But who can blame you. If I had a partner like Rachel then my eyes wouldn’t have looked at another either.”
“You mean if Rachel had been single you might have been interested in her?”
“Not exactly,” Bonnie explained. “Rachel’s a beautiful woman, but I’ve got to admit if you would have been single I would have definitely been interested.”
Kerri cocked an eye. “In me?”
“You seem shocked.”
“Maybe just a little. I never thought of myself as the type too many women were interested in.”
“Ah…see there you go. You don’t give yourself the credit you deserve.”
Kerri took a large swallow of beer.
“I used to sit and watch the way you’d look at Rachel with s
o much love and adoration. That was the type of woman I was looking for. Not just the usual one night stands.”
“There’s someone out there for you, Bonnie. And mark my words, when you find her she’ll be one hell of a lucky woman.”
Bonnie sipped at her drink, and then set her glass down on the bar. “Did you and Rachel have a fight or is she just away on a visit to New York?”
“She moved there.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was her decision.”
“How long has she been gone?”
“Too long.” Kerri finished off the bottle of beer and Bonnie quickly got her another.
“That explains why I haven’t seen you in here for awhile. Maybe she’ll come back soon.”
“I doubt it. She’s not happy here. She wants me to move there.”
“Are you going to?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I have my life here right now.” She went on to explain about her design classes and her hopes and dreams. Bonnie listened hanging onto every word she spoke. Kerri’s eyes drifted again to Bonnie’s chest and lingered there.
“Would you like to dance?”
Kerri slid off the barstool. “I’d love to.”
A slow sensuous song was playing as Kerri held Bonnie in her arms and slowly moved on the dance floor.
Bonnie held tightly to Kerri, her body pressing as close as she could. She rested her head on Kerri’s shoulder.
Kerri closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of Bonnie’s body next to her own. Her arms wrapped tighter around Bonnie as though she were hanging on for dear life. Maybe I am, she thought.
The song ended too soon and the band announced last call. She took Bonnie’s hand and led her back to the bar. “My turn.” She ordered another beer for herself and a rum and coke for Bonnie.
“Are you staying in Buffalo tonight?”
She shook her head. “No. I’ll find a diner and have a gallon of coffee to sober up before I hit the highway,” she said with a laugh.
“Why don’t you come over to my place? When you’re sober, I can drive you back here for your car.”
“I don’t know…”Kerri hesitated. “I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“But drunk enough that if you get pulled over you’ll get arrested for drunk driving,” Bonnie cautioned.
“That’s all I’d need,” Kerri agreed. “But I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go to your place.”
“I don’t bite.”
———
Kerri stared into the cup of steaming coffee. “Do you always ask strangers over? It’s not a wise idea in this day and age.”
“You’re not exactly a stranger. Besides I saw the way you were with Rachel so I know you’re not some kind of psycho.”
“Well, thank you for rescuing me from a night of loneliness sobering up in some strange diner.”
“You’re very welcome.” She stifled a yawn.
“God, I didn’t know it was this late,” Kerri said staring at her wristwatch. “I should be going. I’ve had enough coffee so I should be okay now.”
“It’s a long drive. Why don’t you stay here?”
Kerri swallowed hard. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“I understand,” Bonnie softly said.
Kerri looked at the young woman’s beautiful face and then down to her long legs, which showed plenty of thigh from where her skirt had ridden up. “Are you asking me—” her voice trailed off.
“If anything happens between us tonight, Kerri, I don’t want it to be a one night stand,” she whispered.
“I hate one night stands,” Kerri said rising from her chair. She took Bonnie’s hands in hers. “But I’m not free.”
“From what you’ve said earlier it sounds like you are. Rachel rarely calls. Do you think she’s sitting home alone every night…in New York City?”
“No,” Kerri admitted. “I just never thought I’d get involved with anyone again.
“I’m not just anyone, Kerri. Maybe we’ve only spoken briefly for the past year and a half, but you don’t know how I’d anxiously wait for you to come in. I didn’t care that you had Rachel with you. I just wanted to see you and be able to speak to you for a few minutes. Call it a crush if you like, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Kerri didn’t know how to answer. She never dreamed she’d have this kind of affect on anyone. She was flattered and afraid at the same time.
“You never knew the effect you had on me,” Bonnie continued, “and you never would have if I hadn’t seen you alone tonight. You don’t know how I worried that something had happened to you when I didn’t see you for all these weeks. I would never do anything to come between you and Rachel and if you think that there is any chance that you two will get back together again then we’ll end this before it even begins.” Her eyes searched Kerri’s.
Kerri pulled her into her arms. “Yes, I want you,” she moaned against her hair. “And, no, not just for a one night stand.”
Bonnie led her into her large bedroom. She held Kerri at arms length as she slowly removed her blouse.
Kerri’s breath caught in her throat as she saw Bonnie’s beautiful breasts straining against her bra.
Bonnie slowly undid her bra then removed her skirt. Her black-laced panties held the magic to her womanhood and Kerri could barely contain herself as she watched with mounting pleasure as Bonnie slowly slid them down her long slender legs.
“I need you,” Kerri hoarsely whispered as she grabbed Bonnie’s hands and gently led her to the edge of the bed. She positioned Bonnie and gently laid her back on two pillows, then spread her legs and took her time exploring Bonnie’s firm young body.
Chapter Eight
Angela’s words echoed in Rachel’s mind. Was Kerri’s and her love strong enough or had they only been fooling themselves? If they truly did love one another as deeply as they professed then why were they apart? Neither of them would budge an inch and they’d reached a stalemate. Was it pride or were they really drifting apart? Was she being selfish by expecting Kerri to uproot herself to follow her or was Kerri being selfish by not wanting to have the type of freedom they deserved? Weeks had rapidly passed by and the longer they continued without communicating and were physically apart the more like strangers they seemed to become.
Rachel swallowed hard. It was time to find out one way or the other what they were going to do. Before she could change her mind, she grabbed the phone and dialed Kerri’s number.
“Hello,” Kerri groggily answered on the fourth ring.
“It’s me, Kerri. How’ve you been?” She kept her voice light and cheerful.
“I’ve been getting along,” she coolly replied. “Do you know what time it is? You could have called earlier.”
“Kerri, we really need to talk and lay everything out on the table once and for all. This separation is driving me crazy.”
“Have you forgotten that you were the one who brought it on?” she demanded.
“I did what I had to do. You know how I felt.” Rachel replied. “I needed your love and understanding.”
“Nothing’s changed, has it, Rachel?” Kerri tiredly asked. “This will get us nowhere and I’m just too exhausted to argue with you tonight. We’ve said all we need to say.”
“Kerri, I love you. If you love me even half as much you’d at least try to understand what I’m going through, for God’s sake.”
“Don’t even try to lay this on me, Rachel. What I’m hearing is that it’s your way or no way. There’s never been any middle ground or compromise. I agreed to leave Wilson Point, but unless I did when you wanted to, then forget my reasons for wanting to wait.”
“Yes, I admit that I’m being selfish, but it’s not just for me. I want the best for both of us. I need you in my life, Kerri. I’ve been going crazy with missing you.”
“You miss me so much that you haven’t called in weeks?” she
coldly questioned.
“I should have. I’m sorry that I didn’t, but I didn’t want to argue.” Rachel chewed her bottom lip. “I’ve kept busy with my job. I’m doing all of this for us. I checked out a couple of design schools and I don’t think you’ll have any trouble transferring. It won’t be as difficult as you think.”
“You just don’t get it, do you? Did it ever occur to you that I like my classes and teachers here just fine? I intend to finish here.”
“I thought you said it would be too difficult to transfer. You led me to believe that was the reason you were reluctant to move.”
“It probably would be difficult with my loans and everything but since I have no intention of doing so, I don’t know for certain.”
“So, you don’t want to be with me? All of your excuses were lies just to pacify me?”
“I never said that. You were the one who couldn’t wait to leave me...and you did.”
“Kerri, this isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“I agree. All we do is argue.”
“Don’t you care about me even just a little, Ker?”
“Dammit, Rachel, my love was never enough for you and I doubt it ever would have been.”
“Why are you talking in the past tense?” Rachel asked as her heart thumped furiously in her chest. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I wish you’d at least come for a visit. Come for a week and we can talk face to face and try to straighten everything out.” Rachel grew nervous by Kerri’s long silence. Something was terribly wrong and she had only herself to blame. She had to get things back on track with Kerri. She loved her and couldn’t stand the thought of being without her. “Please, just come. I’ve got a fantastic apartment. You’ll love it. It has a fireplace and everything!”
“It looks like you’ve put down roots.”
“The hotel was too expensive to stay in indefinitely.”
“I thought you had a good paying job.”
“I do, Kerri, but it’s more expensive to live in New York than it is in Wilson Point.”
“So, it wouldn’t have actually made sense to live there when we’d financially be no better off there than we were here. What would we have gained if I would have moved with you?”