Little Lady Jane

by Breanna Hayse

  “Spanking you is not enjoyable. At least, not when I must punish you. Please do not push me again.”

  “I’m sorry, Papa,” Jane hung her head.

  Philip stroked her hair and lifted her chin with a bent index finger. “I would love to have you come with me, but it is not safe for a woman on the merchant boats. When you go, we will do so on a passenger ship.”

  “Promise?” Jane looked at him through blurred eyes.

  “I promise, my sweet girl.” He held her snugly to his body. “I promise. Can you try harder to be good for me and make me proud of your behavior?”

  “Yes, sir,” Jane sighed, burying her nose into his shirt. She thought of what the Kama Sutra said about scents—that they were both ever changing, exciting and would arouse the other senses. She found it peculiar that, despite the throbbing of her backside, she also felt a stream of warmth rising from her hidden gold ring.

  How could that spanking have aroused her? She shivered, thinking of how his warm palm rested upon her bottom after the spanking had ceased. If only he felt the same about her, but then his words came to her mind—punishing her was not enjoyable for him, but he insinuated that spanking without punishment was. What did he mean by that?

  That was nearly one year ago. And then he broke his promise and left without a word.

  ***

  “Finally!” Jane exclaimed aloud, pushing aside the reflections of her past and ascending the steps of the bathhouse. She opened the heavy door, pulled off her cloak and wiped the rain from her face. The clerk quickly relieved her of the heavy garment and hung it before the crackling fire.

  "Miss Foster! Very pleasant to see you, ma'am," the desk girl said. “We missed you.”

  “I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit this week," Jane said gently. “The course of things dictated otherwise. Mainly a sour old maid monitoring my every step."

  “I see," the young girl acknowledged. “Has your young man returned from his voyage?”

  “No, he has not.”

  “It has been quite long for this last trip, has it not? Nearly four months! Will you still come here weekly when he returns?”

  “I will have to address that when the time arises. My room key, please?” Jane requested. She was not comfortable talking about Philip or the fact he had left on another lengthy trip without forewarning her. Right now, she just wanted to forget his betrayal of her trust and soak away the coldness from her body and her heart.

  Jane walked down the hall toward the ladies' changing room, relieved to see that it was not crowded that rainy evening. A few other women who had braved the weather were busy with dressing or undressing, and all greeted her with enthusiastic acceptance. She opened her locker and removed her damp outer blouse that she hung to dry near the warm soap stones. She then kicked off her wet shoes and, gathering her skirt to her waist, she sat down on the bench. After slipping off her stockings and laying then neatly on top of her shoes, she removed her bodice and hung it carefully next to her overdress. Reaching back, she quickly and expertly undid her corset and then her skirt and petticoat. How she hated the burden of so many clothes! At least, when Papa was home, she was expected to only wear garments for necessity, not fashion. In keeping with her need to rebel, she eschewed the wearing of her drawers.

  After securing her locker, Jane strode toward the pool door with forced confidence so that she would appear at ease with her nakedness. The bath was lit warmly with oil lamps that reflected pleasantly against the painted stone walls, the water and the bathers' bodies. There were perhaps a dozen women in the large shallow pool and all turned upon Jane’s entry into the area. As Jane sunk in joyful nudity into the water, there were the requisite greetings.

  “Nice to have you back,” one of the older ladies said. “We feared that Philip had returned from his trip and would not allow you to attend.”

  “No, he has not returned yet, nor have I gotten any notice of when to expect him,” Jane said. “Ahhhh, the water feels wonderful today.”

  “Doesn't it, though?” said Nettie, another woman of her age. Her hair was tied up, safe out of the water as usual, and her pert breasts bobbed majestically just at the water level. “Perfect bath weather, isn't it?”

  “Indeed. I could not wait to slip out of the asylum. The sour old housekeeper has been watching me like a hawk all week and acting stranger than usual. She likely suspected I would be finding a means to come here, given the change in weather.”

  “Perhaps she ate some bad haggis. Or blood pudding. Or,” Nettie shuddered, “lima beans. You said she indulges in that nasty stuff.”

  “She was probably concerned for your safety in this weather. She knows that you slink out of the manor without the comfort of a carriage. Why must you do that?” an older woman asked.

  “I enjoy the walk here. It gives me an hour or so to clear my head and prepare for laughter and pleasant conversation that does not involve haggis, blood pudding or lima beans.”

  And so went the small talk that soon descended into meatier matters; mainly social activities.

  “I say, Jane,” Nettie piped up, “you came to my mind the other night while I was at the pub. So, you have no inkling of when Philip is to return?”

  “I do not. Part of me hopes it is soon, for I do miss him. But upon his return, I shall not easily be coming here. You know that he forbids me from attending the Baths unchaperoned. Or the pub. He fears another man shall look upon me and woo me away,” Jane grumbled.

  “He is a handsome rogue, that one,” Nettie sighed. “Perhaps he will relax his fears after this journey and come join you. We both know that Philip is not quick to change, for any reason and that his possessiveness is rather overbearing despite his gentlemanly countenance. I find it impossible to believe that he has one adventurous bone in his body. He is so uptight.”

  "I suspect that you would be just as jealous if you caught another woman sniffing around his trousers,” her friend teased. “Look at that blush! Deny that you are attracted to him. I dare you!”

  “I do not deny that I am attracted to him, but I assure you that I would not care should another woman be, as you say, sniffing at his trousers.” Jane released a loud, audible sigh. “Although I am still so angry with him, I do love him. He has been my closest friend since I was a little girl.”

  “That seems to be your problem, dear Jane. He does not see you as anything other than a willful child in need of supervision,” Nettie said.

  “This is true. I don’t know what I can do to make him see me as a woman grown. You should have heard what he said the night he saw me dressed as a full lady,” Jane said bitterly. “Even though it was a year ago, his words still burn inside of me. He offered me that same expression when he took me for dinner the night before he left. He had promised me he would not do that again, and he did.”

  “Were you dressed as his Marchioness?” Nettie asked. Jane nodded her answer. Nettie continued sympathetically. “He cannot accept your beauty, Jane. He would keep you clothed in children’s frocks and wear your hair in pigtails for the rest of your life if he could. It forces you to stay close to him where he is most comfortable.”

  Jane did not respond to her comment. No one would understand the dynamics of that part of her relationship, or that it was only when Philip was papa, she felt completely happy and content. She just wished he would see the other side of who she was, and love that side as much as he did the little girl one.

  “Are you not engaged to wed him?” another woman asked.

  “Yes, but this is merely a marriage of convenience in response to the conditions of our fathers’ company. When he balked, his aunt threatened to tell the world that he was keeping me locked behind closed doors because he was ashamed of me,” Jane chuckled. “Auntie Elsa is not quite right in the head, but it was enough of a threat to force him to publically declare his intent to marry me. I assume that keeping me locked away in that miserable house simply appears gallant to the public eye. And proper citizens of title must always
appear beyond reproach,” Jane mimicked Philip in feigned haughtiness.

  “You are such a naughty girl! Won’t he be terribly angry if he discovers your escape?” the woman asked.

  “He will be furiously livid,” Jane giggled. “I do not care. If he thinks he can break his promise to me and still expect me to mind him, then he is delusional. He needs to accept that I will not be controlled.”

  “That man spoils you, child,” an older woman clucked. “In my day, a real man would take a stick to the back of a girl’s legs to remind her of her place.”

  “Then I consider myself very fortunate that I do not live back in your day or that Philip is not a real man,” Jane responded facetiously. “I fear that my rebellious behavior would leave me from being able to either walk or sit for months!”

  An hour or so had passed before Jane felt thoroughly rejuvenated and ready to brave another lonely night in the dark, lifeless manor. With polite excusals of herself for the evening, Jane stood and hoisted herself out of the bath. She strode nude back to the locker room and took one last look behind to see Nettie following her. “You're ready to go as well?” she asked pleasantly.

  “I am,” Nettie said as they helped themselves to fresh towels from the stack. “Jane? I have a question for you,” she lowered her voice. “Does Philip know about your ring?"

  “No, he does not. I fear he will be disapproving should he discover it. It cannot be removed easily,” Jane said as she opened her locker. She sat to pat off the last of the dampness from her legs, and began pulling on her stockings. “The only way to remove it would be to saw through or cut it from my body; neither of which sounds very enticing.”

  “You are to be married so he is going to see it eventually.,” Nettie said. “I would wager he finds it fascinating. He enjoys the exotic tastes, does he not?”

  “Yes, but only as a means of comfort and décor,” Jane said. “Not when affiliated with personal activities. He is quite a stick in the mud, especially when it comes to propriety. When I was much younger, he courted several women and each was as prim and proper as a bale of hay.”

  “Yet, he never married any. He had his eyes on you,” Nettie said.

  “Neither of us have a choice. He was only twenty-two when he discovered the terms of our inheritance. That was also when he assumed the role as my legal guardian. He was forced into this engagement, just as I was, and he knew he could not develop any ties with another and still keep the company. Besides,” she sighed as she slipped on her petticoat and tied the waistband, “I have come to accept that he does not view me like a woman. I am just a piece of property and a toy to him.”

  “I am certain he does not feel that way. Didn’t you say he had changed somewhat after his return from India last year?”

  “Yes, but it is not as you think. We simply are as when we were younger and he became my teacher. Nothing more intimate that that. His kisses are infrequent and fall upon my knuckles or my head. Never my lips,” Jane said sadly. Her mind drifted. Was spanking considered intimate? No—not how he pursued it. However, if he spanked her in the manner instructed within the Kama Sutra…

  “This is what I think,” Nettie said, placing her hands on her bare waist. “I think he has suddenly taken to longer travel because you grew breasts and he does not know how to conduct himself with them staring into his face!”

  “You are being ridiculous. He is a worldly man and very comfortable in the presence of breasts.”

  “Not your breasts. His little girl has grown up and he was obliged to notice the changes. That is why his aunt pushed him to announce the engagement. She is forcing him to see what is right in front of his eyes. Janie, listen to me,” Nettie touched her arm. “He might not have known it at the time, but Philip raised you to be the perfect wife. He taught you the things that interest him so that you can converse together. He gave you run of the house to learn how to manage it according to his needs. He even taught you how to do the accounts and inventory for the business. Can’t you see that he was preparing you for this coupling?”

  “I doubt he even considered this outcome to benefit himself. He is a man, you know,” Jane sighed. “He raised me as he would a son. He even admitted that he did not know how to deal with girls the day he spanked…” Jane paled as the words escaped her lips.

  Nettie’s eyes widened. “He spanked you?”

  “Yes. I was twelve and had deliberately disobeyed him. It was the first time he had laid his hand upon me.”

  “Wait,” Nettie frowned. “He used his hand? I would have anticipated a cane or a crop, but never the hand! Did it hurt?”

  Jane nodded. “I have never been struck before and he did not want to induce me to terror. I cannot recall the amount of pain but the embarrassment was great enough to keep me on perfect behavior until he sent me to that horrid school. It was when I was expelled that he took it upon himself to tutor me in the necessities of life.”

  “Did he spank you again after that incident?”

  “Many times, I fear. Never severe and always with the bare hand. He was determined to teach me to be a proper lady.”

  “And now you frequent the baths after sneaking out of the house,” Nettie giggled. “I must admit that the thought of a man laying discipline to my ass with his hand is rather exciting.”

  “Not I. Philip is always threatening to punish me, but my tears and contrite apologies dissuade him more often than not,” Jane chuckled. She sobered up. “I truly would not want to be on his cross side. I have seen him angry when we have been to the docks. He was rather formidable.”

  “I doubt your tears and apologies will be as effective once you are wed.” Nettie laughed in return. “Has a date been set?”

  “No. Aunt Elsa informed him that when he stopped running away from his responsibilities, she would begin to plan.”

  “His Aunt Elsa sounds delightful.”

  “She is a gem. I adore her. If it weren’t for her weekly visit, I would feel sorely neglected.”

  Nettie had an idea, inspired as much by the prospect of a lonely winter as by the prospect of her friend finding true love and happiness in Philip. “Jane? Do you think you could prevail upon Philip to come to the pub for a Saturday’s festivities after he returns?" she asked. “I’d like very much to meet him.”

  “Oh, Nettie,” Jane said. “Much as I would love to participate, I doubt that I’ll ever get him to the pub. He considers such places beneath him, I am ashamed to say. I also fear his reaction to the attentions given me by the other men.”

  “His reactions are based on love, my dear friend. One day, he will show you.”

  “I will not allow myself to feel false hope. Please, forgive my melancholy mood, but Philip will never feel for me as I do him. Good night.” Jane smiled sadly as she kissed her friend on the cheek.

  She walked outside and started down the path where the buggies were parked. An old woman crossed her path and smiled, offering a warm, inviting and quite toothless grin. She reached into a basket and handed Jane a flower, touched the girl’s cheek, and then hurried away.

  Jane frowned, blinking away the drops of rain from her face. She looked down at the flower. It was a white lotus.

  CHAPTER 4

  Jane watched the rain pelting against the window, trying to distract herself from excessive daydreaming about Philip as she stroked the beautiful flower in her hand. She knew she had developed a young girl’s infatuation for her guardian and tried desperately not to mourn the hopelessness that ruled her life. She was just too young and too innocent for a man of the world, and knew that the love and passion she longed for would never be found between them. She also feared that, even after all the years they had spent in each other’s presence, Philip would eventually grow bored with her.

  Few lights were on to welcome her as the carriage pulled next to the manor’s entrance. Jane covered her head with her cloak and raced through the pouring rain to the front door. She received a scowl and a nod from the downstairs maid as her wraps we
re taken, and handed a towel in return. Clearly, her absence had been discovered and the poor maid had been severely scolded by the tart old housekeeper. Jane swallowed back a spiteful smile, pleased that she had once again thwarted the staff’s attempts to restrict her escapades. Musing over plans for her next adventure, Jane swept up the two flights of stairs and turned right towards her large sleeping quarters.

  Pausing at the doorway, Jane found it odd that the oil-lamps were lit and flickered with welcoming flames. A fire was also blazing quite nicely in the large hearth and had been recently fed with wood and stoked. Confused by the apparent greeting, for she knew the staff held no affection or care for her, she gathered her toiletries and walked barefoot down the hall to the water closet to relieve herself, wash her hands and face, and scrub her teeth for the night.

  On return to her room, she was confounded by the full force in which the fire was burning and the waves of warmth that spread throughout the room. She peered into the hearth—more wood had been added while she was gone. Unused to this kind of attentiveness from the staff, Jane wondered if a new servant had been hired to keep an eye on her. After placing the white bloom in a bowl of water and watching it float with the firelight flickering against its wide, open petals, Jane began to undress. She felt her heart softening as she considered the old woman’s gestures and her anger toward Philip began to melt away.

  An odd noise caused Jane to freeze, and she felt goosebumps rise along her spine as she experienced the sensation of being watched. She spun quickly to the sound of a throat clearing in the dark corner of the room. Her hands rose to her mouth as the long legs uncrossed and the tall form rose from the chair.

  “Papa! I had no idea you would be returning!” Jane exclaimed, surprisingly herself with the genuine pleasure of seeing him. She wrapped her arms around his solid waist and clung tightly. “I have missed you dreadfully. Why did you leave so suddenly? You promised me that you would not do that! You hurt my feelings again.”