Pride and Passion

by Jenna Bayley-Burke

He crossed his arms. “Why isn’t it?”

  Her brown eyes widened in shock. “You’re actually serious.”

  “It makes perfect sense. I’m thirty-four and I have almost everything I want. There’s more money than I’ll ever spend alone and this house is too large for one person.”

  “I’m not getting married for room and board. That’s ridiculous. I’m sure if Daddy had more time to think about it, even he’d have seen that. He’d want me to get married for the right reasons.”

  “Like the reasons he married your mother? Loving someone so much you can’t function without them? I haven’t had an easy life, and I’ve learned the hard way how the world works. I’m not asking you to love me. You don’t need to be in love to be married. I’d like a beautiful wife to come home to, one who understands how my world works and how to keep it running smoothly. You’ll have the life you’re accustomed to and my name.”

  “I’m not going to marry you. I don’t even like you.”

  “Why is that?” He’d always wondered what he’d done, what she’d heard that made her despise him so.

  “Intuition. I knew you wanted something from us and you wouldn’t stop until you had it. People like you never do.”

  “People like what? Uncultured, underprivileged?”

  “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

  “Then why don’t you like me?” He sat beside her, pinning her with his gaze. Maybe if he could learn the answer he could find a way around it.

  “You’re a predator. You take what you need, do what you have to do to get what you want. I saw that the first time you came here.”

  “Is that what you saw? And what did I have in my sights, Lily?” He stared at her, both loving and hating that she’d known he wanted her from the first. She was so much more than the demure virgin, the haughty debutant others painted her as. He couldn’t wait for the world to see what he saw.

  She looked away, toying with the hem of her black dress. “I don’t know why we are even talking about this. You have a girlfriend. I doubt fashion designers take to kindly to having their boyfriends propose marriage to other women, even as a perverted business arrangement.”

  “Are you worried about Dee?” He couldn’t help but smile at her imagination. “You don’t need to worry yourself about my latest mistress. They do tend to take care of themselves. And besides, that has nothing to do with you.”

  “You’re right it doesn’t.” Lily stood and squared her shoulders. “I have no intention of marrying you, so what you do with your recreational sex life is your business.”

  This was more of a reaction from her than he’d ever had before. He’d waited years for something to give, but it always wound up being him. He couldn’t help but take advantage of her jealousy. “Don’t worry, Angel. I’ll always make time for you.”

  Lily pressed her hands to her temples. “Why can’t this all be a bad dream?”

  “Because this is life, not something you wake up from because it’s not going as you planned. This is exactly why your father wanted me to take care of you. You aren’t prepared to deal with the real world, with how you’ll be treated now that you don’t have the upper hand. Even your plans for what to do next lack common sense. You have a degree, but the only thing it prepared you for was graduate school. You say you’ll get a job, but where and doing what?”

  “I don’t know, all right? Taking care of my father has been my priority. I’ll think about everything else tomorrow.”

  His mouth twisted with exasperation. “Okay, Scarlet. This is life, not one of those novels you study. If you do beg a job off someone it won’t pay enough for an apartment the size of your closet. If you ask for a job as a favor there are men who will expect more in return than you are willing to give.”

  “And how is that any different from what you’re doing?”

  “If that was all I wanted I would have had you a year ago.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming at her. “Is your virginity a commodity you’re putting on the market?”

  Lily gasped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, but I do, Angel. What was it you told one of the other baubles at the symphony? Sex makes casual relationships too complicated. If you don’t sleep with them it’s easy to let them go.”

  Her eyes widened. “You were eavesdropping?”

  “I wasn’t the only one. All of those idiots you date think you quite the challenge. Most of them are fortune hunters, so they likely won’t bother now, unless it’s out of sport.”

  “Not all men are like you.”

  “This is not a game I’m playing. I could lie to you, could have gone about this an entirely different way and likely had you beneath me tonight. But you’ve been lied to and sheltered for too long. Our marriage will be an honest one. I want it to start that way from the first.”

  “We will not be getting married. You accused me of acting the heroine of a novel, but you’re the one treating me like some Regency-era spinster who’ll marry anyone willing to do without a dowry. I may not have many options, but I don’t have to marry you. Besides, if I’m as stupid and delusional as you’re saying, you really could do better.”

  “You’re not stupid, Lily. Just overprotected and unaware that wolves dress in sheep’s clothing. I can protect you from that.”

  She forced a laugh. “Imagine, the big bad wolf scaring off all the others before leading the lamb to the slaughter. I’m sure you meant well when you made your promise to my father, but you don’t need to make any sacrifices on my account.”

  “It’s no sacrifice. I’ve always planned on marrying you. When I told your father that last year he wasn’t encouraging. You were dating that shipping heir, and he found him more suitable. But when he realized how little time he had left to put things right, and how poorly he’d managed everything, I became the only one he could trust to make sure you were taken care of.”

  Lily blinked and reached out for the leather wingback to steady herself. “But you never acted as if you liked me, let alone wanted to marry me. I don’t know why you’d invent a story like this, especially after what you said about our parents’ marriages.”

  “Love won’t destroy us as it did them, Lily. Unless you are already in love with me.”

  “Of course not!”

  “Then we have nothing to worry about. I know what I want, and I know what you need. It’s the same thing.”

  “You have no idea what I need. It certainly isn’t to be on your arm in public while everyone around us snickers about your latest conquest.”

  Jealousy, again. If she only knew. “No one will laugh at you, Lily. They wouldn’t dare. We’ll be a force, you and I. Besides, we’ll be the perfect family they all envy. Especially if the children will look like you.”

  “Children? You’ve gone mad. I’m not some brood mare you can hire on for the bloodline.”

  “You really need to raise your opinion of yourself. You will be my wife, the mother of my children. You’ll run this house and have all the social commitments you can manage. It’s exactly the life you want.”

  “My God, you have it all worked out, don’t you? You’ll have this perfect façade of a family with me, and your string of mistresses to entertain you. Your life won’t change—it will just wear prettier clothes.”

  “My life works well now, but I need more. I need you.” That was it, the ultimate truth. A vulnerability he hated to admit to, much less show so plainly. What more did she need?

  Lily began to shake, her breath coming in short pants. “I won’t do it.”

  He stepped closer, lifting her trembling chin with his finger. “Would you rather I seduced you? Insulted your intelligence by tricking you the way everyone else has? Would that be easier on you, Lily?”

  “No,” she said, the word barely audible.

  “That’s what you’ve been afraid of all along, that I would seduce you into things that scare you. Open you up to a world different from the dollhouse you l
ive in. That’s what you feel that you can’t explain.”

  Lily swatted his hand away and took a faltering step backwards, reaching out for the chair again. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe my father would have agreed to this.”

  “Don’t you? I’ll be honest, I think he assumed I’d never want you for more than a decoration. He never saw you as a woman, Lily. That’s why he never thought to protect you.”

  “Stop it. I’ve had enough. I’ve had to face some harsh realities about my father, and today I had to put him in the ground.” Tears spilled from her eyes as her face crumpled in a sob. She tried to speak again but couldn’t rise above the emotion.

  Jake lifted her into his arms, slightly surprised she didn’t fight him as he carried her out of the room and up the staircase. He called for Emmaline, who appeared as he kicked open the door to Lily’s bedroom.

  “Help her calm down,” he said to the older woman. “Then we’ll need to get her something to eat.” He laid Lily on her canopy bed. “You will eat before you fall asleep, or I am calling a doctor.”

  She turned from him, holding tightly to one of her white pillows. He wanted to say something to stop her from hurting, something to make her see she was making this harder on herself than it needed to be, something to change her mind. But he seemed to be saying everything wrong.

  He had to find a way to make her see reason. If she left now she’d be far too vulnerable to protect herself. Anything that happened would be his fault.

  Chapter Three

  For the first time in her life, Lily Harris felt unsafe in her own home. Partly because it wasn’t hers anymore, but mostly because Jake Tolliver stalked the halls. As he should since he owned them.

  She set the bowl of soup on the tray Emmaline had placed on her nightstand and pulled her knees to her chest. She’d thought her life had been turned upside down when her father was diagnosed, and then again when he confessed his indiscretions. But this, his asking a man she didn’t trust to marry her, was completely…insane.

  Her gaze drifted to her bookshelf. While earning a degree in English literature she’d collected more than her share of historical novels. Even in Regency England, this would be odd. No doubt Jane Austen would have had fun spinning it around.

  The thought lifted her spirits a little. She’d missed her first week of classes, but getting back to school and returning to work on her thesis would make her feel normal. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t help her get a job or find an apartment. She didn’t even know how she’d afford tuition this term.

  The handle on her bedroom door clicked and turned. Jake entered without the courtesy of knocking. Lily looked down to make sure her duvet covered as much of her pink nightgown as possible before addressing him.

  “If having access to my room is a condition of my staying her, I’ll leave now.”

  “Don’t make empty threats, Lily. We both know you won’t leave tonight. It’s late. I’m staying here too unless you object.”

  “Can I stop you?”

  “Would you want to?” He sat on her bed, right where her feet would be if she stretched her legs out. He nodded toward the tray. “I’m glad you ate something. You’ve lost too much weight in the last few weeks.”

  “For a man with a string of girlfriends, you should know better than to discuss weight with a woman.” Though the women she’d seen him with had no worries about that. He was lucky one of them hadn’t speared him with a pointy hip.

  “You’re not taking care of yourself. Do it, or I will.”

  “How is it you can make food sound like a threat?” She rested her chin on her knees. “Is there anything I can take with me when I go?”

  “I’d rather if you didn’t. You belong in this house.” His hand covered her foot. Even beneath the duvet she could feel the heat of him.

  She pulled her feet closer. “I think you should go.”

  “What is it you think I’m going to do to you? Is your fear of me really so weak my touching you could turn everything in a different direction?” He reached for her again, this time holding her ankle through the blanket. “If it would make this easier on you, I could seduce you.”

  “Yes, I’m sure you could.” She sat up straighter, her cheeks burning. “I’ve seen your list of references. If I didn’t find it disgusting, I might be impressed. I’m sure your fashionista girlfriend is.”

  He actually laughed. “Dee Gibson is none of your concern, unless you’re looking for a designer for your wedding dress.”

  Lily felt her jaw drop, but recovered quickly. “How sordid. Even if I needed a wedding dress, which I don’t, I wouldn’t have your girlfriend design it.”

  “You’re the one who keeps bringing her up. Should I be flattered you’ve been so interested in my personal life?”

  “I’d have to be blind not to see it.”

  “If it bothers you, remember today’s news is tomorrow’s birdcage liner. Besides, this incident with your father should teach you not to believe everything you read. Those women have something to gain by having their name connected with mine, by being being seen with me. It benefits them.”

  “How kind of you to pimp yourself out.”

  Derision and sympathy mingled in his glare. “You don’t understand how the world works.”

  She might not be the most worldly person, but she knew women. They tripped over themselves to get to him because of who he was, yes. But it was more than the money and the handsome face. It was the vibrant power of him, the startling sexual magnetism he kept under wraps. She’d missed the full effect before tonight, always avoiding being alone with him. But now she had to face the truth. She was wary of him, not because of his brutal business acumen, but because of his ability to set her emotions on the spin cycle.

  “Careful how you look at me, Lily.” His grip on her ankle tightened. “If you keep that up, I might be encouraged.”

  “Can’t you just go?”

  “And leave you all alone in your white bedroom? It looks just like I thought it would. Pure. It suits you, for now.”

  He took everything to mean something. She’d decorated the bedroom in white when she was twenty and tired of the pink frills of her youth. It had nothing to do with virginity. She’d seen it in a design magazine and copied.

  “I’m surprised you don’t sleep in white.” His finger traced over the collar of her nightgown.

  “Sorry I didn’t live up to your image of me. I’m a person who makes mistakes, not the Barbie-doll idea you have in your mind.”

  “It’s you I’ve been watching. I know you better than you think. Your father thought he was doing the right thing by keeping you so protected, but it’s made you so wary you don’t live and you’ve been too sheltered to learn how.”

  She didn’t want to hear about another thing her father had done wrong. Up until a few weeks ago, it had been the two of them against the world. Or so she’d thought. They weren’t as close as she’d imagined or she wouldn’t be so shocked by what her fathers’ illness had uncovered. She’d devoted her life to being the best daughter she could possibly be in order to help ease the ache of losing her mother, and it hadn’t helped him at all. She knew her father had doted on her for the same reasons. It seemed their best intentions only wound up hurting the other.

  Lily closed eyes heavy with unshed tears and took a deep breath before opening them again. “I can’t talk about him with you anymore. I’m trying to hold on to an image of the man I knew, not the one I’ve had to meet lately.” She stared up at him, wishing he show her some mercy and go.

  Jake nodded, his thumb circling her ankle. “Would it be easier if I swore you’d be happy with me?”

  “You can’t make me happy. I’ll never forget that you took everything my father worked for. Besides, you don’t want happiness, you want people to envy you.”

  He raised his other hand and traced his finger down her tear-stained cheek. “Actions speak louder than words anyway. I’ll show you what you need. I’ve waited this long fo
r you. I’ll wait a little longer for you to realize all I am offering.”

  Lily turned her head, but his hands lifted to frame her face and hold her still. “I’ll give you everything you could ever wish for, Angel. I’ll make you happy. All you have to do is let me.”

  Jake leaned forward, his lips brushing against hers. A small voice inside told her to fight him, to run screaming out of the room. But she was too tired to fight, and another part of her wanted to know just what she was struggling against.

  He didn’t press or force her, just kissed her gently as if the kiss were all he wanted. The touch was sizzling and exciting, yet wonderfully comforting. Trickles of sensation flared hotly through her body, a fire she knew he could easily stoke into a blaze.

  Instead, he pulled back, staring into her eyes as his fingertips traced her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks. He leaned his head against hers, his hands still framing her face.

  “Sleep well, Angel. I won’t let anything hurt you.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and then left her. Alone.

  ***

  Lily peeked out the dining-room windows, seeing Jake already dressed for the day in his perfectly tailored suit. Beside him were half a dozen brawny men, their gazes following his direction as he pointed toward the house.

  She stepped back from the window, sleepiness washing over her again. She wasn’t physically tired, just emotionally exhausted. But she couldn’t let fatigue keep her from speaking to Jake before he left for the day. She wanted to know when he was coming back, and she needed to put her plan in motion. In the past she’d avoided him as much as possible, but now she sought him out with equal determination.

  Before drifting off last night she’d considered all he’d said. She needed a job, but as loathed as she was to admit he was right, finding one that would work around her school schedule might put her in a compromising position. She was already on a slippery slope with him, and better to dance with the devil you know.

  Breakfast was laid out in the dining room just as it had been every morning for her father. Lily made herself a cup of coffee and hoped the caffeine would jumpstart her brain. To talk Jake into letting her work at Tolliver-Harris, she’d need to have her wits about her.