by Nicole Fox
As I looked into my dad's blanched face, all the bad girl drained out of me. He took in my disheveled clothes and mussed hair, glanced back at the closet we had come out of, and jumped to a conclusion that was, of course, one hundred percent right. I looked away. I was used to disappointing my father, but this time I had hurt him.
"Crucero." My dad spoke to his deputy in a voice that suggested he was only just holding himself together. "Charge Mr. Covert, read him his rights, and then lock him up before I tear that piece of worthless shit limb-from-limb."
Asa said nothing. I think he actually felt guilty this time. He hadn't exactly wanted to do what we had done tonight. I had tricked him a little. He understood why Dad was angry and wasn't going to say anything about it.
Dad clenched his fists, only the most incredible restraint stopping him from using them. "I've got you this time. And the courts will make you pay if I can't."
"Dad ..." I tried to speak up in Asa's defense, but Dad just rounded on me.
"Shut up." He didn't shout, but it was said with such hardness that I obeyed automatically. "Come here." He didn't wait for me to comply, but grabbed my arm and tugged me along behind him as he headed out of the bar.
"Dad, I can walk by myself!"
He said nothing, but his fingers seemed to tighten on my arm, enough to cut off circulation.
"Dad, you're hurting me."
I couldn't be certain, but it sounded like he muttered under his breath, "Now you know what it's like."
He swung open the door of his truck and practically threw me in before getting in himself. Neither of us said anything the whole way home. I couldn't help wondering how much worse this might be if he knew the whole truth. He probably imagined that his rebellious little girl had lost her virginity years ago, probably when she was about twelve. If he had known that it had happened earlier tonight and that it had been lost to Asa Covert, I genuinely thought that he would have asked Deputy Crucero to step outside so he could kill Asa where he stood.
A little, soft part of me spoke up and said, he cares. He might not always know how best to express it, but he does care.
But the bulk of me was consumed with worry for Asa. He was in trouble because of me. Of course, he would have been in trouble with the law even if he hadn't been caught doing the sheriff's daughter, but he wouldn't have been caught if not for me, and my dad's malice was all the worse because of me. There had to be something I could do to help.
# # #
Back home, Dad's silent treatment continued, but it was a silence that spoke volumes. It said: Go to your room. If you leave this house, then you will regret it. He strode to his office and slammed the door. I knew I had hurt him but, again, there wasn't time to think about that.
"Cor?" Risa came downstairs on hearing the door slam. "What's going on?"
I burst into tears. I hadn't meant to. This wasn't me. This wasn't what rebels were supposed to do. What would Asa think of me if he saw me now? I was proving that I was the silly little girl he had called me, not fit to be a gang leader's woman. Maybe he was right, but I couldn't help it. The whole of the night had rushed in upon me. I had lost my virginity and fallen in love with the man to whom I had so wonderfully lost it, then he had rejected me in the most hurtful terms and had been arrested by my father, whom I had let down and hurt and who had now had his worst suspicions confirmed.
I think he had always imagined I was a whore, but now he had seen evidence of it, and even if that evidence was lying to him, I doubted I could convince him of that. He would never look at me in the same way ever again. And then, there was Risa, understanding and loving as ever. Just when I needed to see a friendly face, my sister was there. And it was more than I could stand.
Up in Risa's room, in between sobs, I managed to pour the whole story out, all except for one detail, of course. For whatever stupid reason, I still needed my sister to see me as a bad girl. I couldn't tell her that the bad girl had still been a virgin at twenty-three.
Risa listened to it all, nodded, and stroked my hair. When it was all told she spoke. "Was this your first time?"
I sat up sharply and stared at my sister in shock. "What?! What? My first ... Why would you think that? I mean you’ve met my boyfriends, and ... What? First time? That's a laugh."
Risa listened to this ridiculous speech with a look of deep sympathy on her face. "Cor, do you really think I didn't know?"
I started crying again. I wasn't sure if it was because of how stupid I felt or because, as it turned out, my sister knew me better than I had imagined. Why was Risa so perfect? Why couldn't I be more like her?
Once I had calmed down a bit, and Risa had gotten us both a cocoa, we talked more sensibly.
"Why him?"
"I love him," I said, simply.
"I'm not sure you do, Cor." Risa shook her head. "There's a lot of emotions going on in there at the moment, and I'm not sure they're leading you the right way."
"Everyone's against him!"
Risa nodded. "And I think that might be your answer. I know that's how you feel—like the whole world is against you. And maybe you saw Asa as a kindred spirit, someone who would understand how you felt. But the thing is, the world isn't really against you. I'm on your side. Dad is, too, in his own way. There are people who love you. No one is out to get you. Whereas there are a lot of people out to get Asa, because he's a criminal."
I stamped my feet, which probably didn't help me look any less like a little girl. "He's innocent until proven guilty!"
Which was true, but, of course, I knew that there was a book somewhere in this house that proved him guilty. And, of course, Asa had told me that he was guilty. I just didn't care.
"I think you can do better, Cor." Risa laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Look, I'm glad you lost your virginity to someone you at least think you care about. I'm glad it was a great experience. Mine was thirteen seconds of awkwardness, followed by an apology. It was an important moment in your life, and I'm not trying to detract from that, but ... I think that now you have to move past it. Keep it in your heart and treasure it always, but now you can find a guy who deserves you."
I loved that Risa actually thought that I was worth something. She was a great sister. But she was still wrong. I wanted Asa.
# # #
I lay in bed later that night, staring at the ceiling. Asa had said that the book with all his clients in it was going to put him away. That implied that, without the book, there was no evidence. And that book was in this house.
I started out of bed and made for the door. Dad's office was sure to be locked, but I knew where he kept the key in his bedroom, and Dad was a heavy sleeper.
I stopped.
Then he would know that it was me. If the door was unlocked and the book gone, then there were only two people in the world who could have taken it, and he was hardly going to suspect Risa.
Even if I was willing to let my dad think that of me, to hurt him still further, then he would only have to search my room to find the book, and nothing would be achieved.
What if I went in from the outside and made it look like a burglary? But even then, chances were that my room would be the first place Dad would search. The sad truth was that that was the point to which our relationship had sunk.
A fresh idea occurred. I dressed as quickly as I could, climbed out the window and slid down the tree. I was running the risk of Dad catching me, of course, but that couldn't be helped. This time the keys to Dad's truck were in their usual place, and I was soon on the road, driving as fast as I could for town. I had to be back before Dad woke, or all this was for nothing.
Fiona's bar was still open when I arrived, and I entered cautiously. The bar was empty, and Fiona herself was cleaning glasses. She looked up as I entered, and her face hardened.
"We're closed."
"I don't want a drink."
"Is there another of my friends you want to put in jail?"
"That wasn't my fault!" I begged.
; Fiona gave a humorless laugh. "No, you just happen to be fucking him in the closet when your Dad turns up. I know your type—thrill seekers. Maybe I used to be one myself when I was your ... actually, I was younger than you. By the time I was your age, I was already married and divorced. Some of us have to grow up fast while others," she looked pointedly at me, "never grow up at all. I don't mind you getting your rocks off by screwing Asa while your dad's in the next room, I mind him getting sent down just so you could have a cheap thrill!"
How much of that was fair? More than I would have liked. But there was no sense in feeling sorry for myself.
"I want to help Asa."
"Little late for that."
"I know where the book is."
Fiona looked up sharply. Clearly she knew what I was talking about. "Asa's little black book?"
I nodded. "I can arrange for my house to be empty tomorrow night." I glanced at my watch. "Well, tonight, technically. Tell me who to speak to."
Fiona stood staring at me for a while. There was something in her stare that reminded me of Asa, and I wondered how well the pair knew each other.
"Joseph!" Fiona called towards the back room and, a few moments later, a blond teenage head poked out.
"What?"
"Joseph Hartman, this is Corinne Dugas. Yeah, that one. I think you two should talk."
I managed to keep it quick, and not long after, I was driving back home, wondering if I had done the right thing. I probably hadn't. How could helping a criminal escape be the right thing? How could helping a man break into my dad's house and steal vital evidence be the right thing? But I was saving the man I loved, and that was all that burned in my mind.
# # #
"I was thinking," I tentatively raised my voice at breakfast, "How about we go out for a meal tonight? All three of us."
Dad looked instantly suspicious. "All three of us?"
"It might help clear the air."
Not a word had been said about the events of last night, and I think all three of us were eager to keep things that way. The best way to move on was to move past it.
"I think it's a great idea," Risa enthused.
There was a faint flicker of a smile across my Dad's face. "Sure. Why not."
I felt a deep pang of guilt as I deceived my family for my own ends. But I couldn't see another way of setting Asa free.
# # #
Late that afternoon, we headed out to dinner, but I stopped as I reached the car. "I forgot my phone. I'll be back in a second." I ran back into the house. Moving quickly, I unlocked the back door. Joseph Hartman would make it look like a burglary, but I wanted to give him the maximum time possible to find the book. Next, I ran upstairs into my dad's room. In its usual hiding place under a lamp was the key to the office. I dashed back downstairs, unlocked the office door, and raced back up again to replace it. Now I really was a bad girl.
"Got everything?" asked my dad. He was trying to be upbeat, but I could still sense his hurt and anger about what I had done.
"Yeah." I patted my pocket. "Let's go."
It was a nice dinner, which actually made me feel worse. The conversation was inevitably a bit stilted, with Risa doing most of the heavy lifting in keeping things moving, but it was still nice. It had been a long time since the three of us were out together, something we used to do all the time when Risa and I were younger. Of course, there were still subjects to be skirted around, and dad was still looking at me with a slight air of suspicion, but it was still nice.
Once we got home, however, the shit hit the fan.
"We've been burgled!" Dad raced into his office, while Risa checked elsewhere.
"I don't see anything missing!" she called. "TV and DVD are still here. There's no sign anyone's been upstairs."
Dad emerged from his study with a dark look on his face. "They got what they came for."
He shot a very quick look at me, which made me feel a little better. I had been right; if I had not been with him all night then he would have accused me of this.
"What did they get?" asked Risa.
"Evidence against War Cry," Dad snarled through gritted teeth.
"If you know who took it," said Risa brightly, "Why don't you just go and arrest them?"
Dad's face creased in anger and irritation that was now directed as much at himself as at anyone else. "I didn't have a warrant when I raided the tattoo parlor."
"Dad?!" Risa sounded genuinely shocked. Brian Dugas had broken The Rules and he had paid the price.
"I knew they were guilty." Dad wrung his hands in exasperation. "I just didn't have the evidence."
"What'll you do now?" I tried to keep the smugness out of my voice. I knew that perhaps my behavior tonight had been less than perfect, and I had been feeling pretty guilty about it, but now that it turned out that Dad had locked Asa up under false pretenses, I was feeling a whole lot better.
Dad stared back at his ransacked office. "I don't know."
Chapter Eight
Asa
It will most likely come as no great surprise to you to learn that this was not my first time in jail. My first time was when I was sixteen, and I'd spent a few uncomfortable nights there since. Still, even with my line of employment, the longest I'd spent inside was six months, which wasn’t bad when you thought about it. Unfortunately, this time was looking quite a bit longer, and I couldn't see any obvious way out of it. If Dugas had my Black Book, then I'd be behind bars for years. It wasn’t a prospect I relished.
I was sitting on the floor of the cell in the local jail, wishing I had a baseball so I could work on my Steve McQueen impersonation, when I heard a door open down the corridor and the sound of footsteps coming my way.
Sheriff Brian Dugas stopped in front of my cell and turned to his deputy.
"Step outside for a minute, Crucero."
Deputy Crucero gave me a black look but did as he was told.
"Good evening, Sheriff." No harm in being polite.
"Mr. Covert." Dugas couldn't keep the hatred out of his voice, but I couldn't really blame him. We were on opposite sides of the law, natural enemies, and that was that. I think we both understood that and maybe each grudgingly respected the other. I might not like Brian Dugas, but I knew he wasn't crooked. He might bend the rules, but he never broke them. You couldn't bribe Brian Dugas. By the same token, he might have despised everything I represented, but Dugas knew that I wouldn't hurt women, children, or the elderly. I didn't sell drugs to kids, and I didn't make demands on those who couldn’t afford it.
But two nights ago, the dynamic between us changed when he caught me and Corinne coming out of that closet. I was genuinely sorry to see Crucero go because, if he could get away with it, I had a feeling Brian Dugas wouldn't mind stringing me up and claiming I hung myself. I'd had run-ins with a few angry fathers in the past (also boyfriends and husbands), but I'd never had a father walk in just after I've deflowered a girl. I could claim ignorance, but I couldn't see Dugas believing me. My best hope was that he didn't know himself.
Dugas spoke. "My daughter seems to have a bit of a thing for you."
"It's not going to matter where I'm going, is it?" I pointed out.
Dugas pulled a wooden chair from by the wall and sat down. He looked tired. "There's men on death row who get married now. They get hundreds of proposals a week. Something to do with the glamor of the criminal. I can't see it myself, but there it is. And now, thanks to those bleeding-heart human rights lobbyists, they all have to have conjugal visits. You should see the queues of women. When I think that there are murderers and rapists who are having more sex in a week than I've had since my wife left, it makes me wonder why the hell I bother enforcing the law."
This was more of a heart to heart than I had expected, and I decided to just let him talk it out.
"I don't want my Corinne spending her days hanging around prisons to see you."
"She won't." I said it, but I wasn't sure.
"She will," said Dugas. "She's a loyal
girl. And she's got it bad for you. Plus, she knows how angry it'd make me. She'll be there every visiting day, every ... conjugal day, and she'll be there to meet you when you come out. Stupid kid loves to play with fire. A boyfriend in prison is what she's wanted her whole damn life."
"Not much I can do to stop her." I didn't say it as if I was forcing his hand. I just said it.
"No." Dugas spat the word. "In fact, it has become obvious to me that, when it comes to Corinne, having you inside is worse for me than having you out. Because when you're inside, you can't run off and leave her."
He had been staring at the floor, but now he looked up. "We're both men here, so let's speak plainly. You know I've got you, right? You know you're going down."