Promise: The Scarred Girl

by Maya Shepherd

  “We laid it out to dry in the sun.” He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a folded paper, along with Nea’s compass and stretches his hand out to give them to her. “You had these in your coat pocket; unfortunately, hardly anything can be seen on the map.”

  Nea takes the items from the child’s small warm hands.

  “How nice that you’re awake!” The large well-fed woman stands in the tent entrance and smiles broadly. As she approaches, it is immediately apparent that the boy and this woman are related. They both have the same grin and freckles. The woman wears her hair down, which is a warm red color and falls loosely over her shoulders. She wears brown overalls and a colorful flannel shirt to protect her body from the elements. Although she is clearly overweight, he face radiates something beautiful and caring. She reminds Nea of one of her aunts who had a farm. When the woman places her warm calloused hand on Nea’s forehead, she says, “You do not have a fever!”

  When she smiles at Nea, she looks just like the little boy, she is also missing some teeth, but to Nea, it just makes her look even friendlier. She looks at Nea and seems to be waiting for some kind of response. When none comes, she holds her hound out to Nea and says, “I’m Luica and this is my son, Zippi.”

  “I’m Nea,” she replies shyly and takes Luica’s outstretched hand.

  “You need to eat, would you like some stew, Nea? This will definitely help you to get your strength!”

  Nea silently nods. She feels very comfortable with these two, even though she knows nothing about them except that they have saved her life. Nevertheless, even though she is friendly with them, she still fears them. She learned long ago that a return favor would be required before she would be able to go on her way, but she does not want to think about that at the moment, so she takes her boots and coat out of the storage bin and drops the washed-out map and compass into the coat pocket.

  She follows Luica and Zippi from the tent. Outside another fire burns, an old man stands near it, chopping firewood with an ax. When he sees Nea, he grins and waves to her. Luica introduces him, “This is my father, Harold.” A little further on, Nea sees the cows graze, as well as three goats and four cages on the ground in front of the carriage, in front of which are several chickens that peck at grains on the ground.

  “The three of us travel around with our animals and swap eggs and milk for food or whatever else we need to live,” Harold said.

  Zippi pushes a steaming hot bowl of steaming broth containing carrots, potatoes, and leeks into Nea’s hands. It’s been ages since she last ate fresh vegetables. The soup smells simply delicious and Nea quickly consumes it. As she empties the bowl, Luica fills it again generously. “You don’t talk too much, do you?”

  “I do not know what to say. You saved my life, you share your food with me... I have nothing I could repay you with.”

  “We believe in karma. This means that if you do something good for someone else, something good will happen to you at another time.”

  Nea admired their attitude to life, even if she could not understand it. She believes much more that you could be exploited with such a philosophy expecting that something good will happen later, but she preferred to keep this thought to herself.

  Luica asked where she came from and what her goal is. Nea told the story about her trip, that she is heading to Dementia to eventually reach Promise. When she finished her story, Lucia looked at her sadly, “And you’re all alone on the road? Don’t you feel lonely?”

  Nea shook her head and said that it was easier this way.

  “But it’s not easier, here we are a family, everyone is there for each other.”

  Nea did not know what to say to that. Luica’s words seem to make sense. The three really are a family: a grandfather, a mother, and a child. It is certainly true that they protect each other, simply because they love each other and don’t want to lose each other. But all the people Nea has ever loved are dead. Just the idea of replacing Miro with other people breaks her heart, even if it’s not the same.

  Zippi, who also listened to Nea’s narrative, begins tapping on Luica’s arm excitedly.

  “I have an idea,” he says conspiratorially and whispers something into Luica’s ear. Luica smiles at him lovingly and gently tells Zippi, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

  Zippi grins and looks over at Nea shyly, “We are going to Dementia, you can come with us!”

  Nea hesitates, she does not need a tour guide, but these three have a dry place she can sleep and food to spare. They also seem to know their way around. If she were to stay with them, she would certainly arrive at Dementia faster, so she agrees to Zippi’s proposal. He claps his hands in delight.

  Luica and Harold decide to wait until the next day to break up camp as it is too late to do so today. To thank them, Nea shows Zippi how to catch fish with his bare hands. She sits wrapped in a blanket on the stony riverbank and instructs Zippi while he stands up to his knees in cold water. Admiringly, Nea notes that the cold does not seem to bother him. At first he is very impatient and fidgety, but after his clothing is drenched from top to bottom, he proudly holds his first fish in his hand triumphantly. He waves it with joy through the air and beckons to Harold and Luica to come see it, but the slippery fish falls out of his hands and everyone starts laughing. Zippi is angry for an instant, and then starts laughing as well. It is Nea’s first laugh in a long time. These past two years, Nea did not so much as crack a slight smile, but never so much as a laugh in which you have to hold your belly and tear up at the eyes, a full hearty laugh, in which one wants to roll around on the floor out of sheer fun.

  Later, Zippi caught four fish. The four of them sit at the campfire and roast the fish while Zippi dries his wet clothes on a line. Plus there’s still more of the stew from earlier left. It is pleasant to sit by the fire while her hands, feet, and cheeks get warm, to not worry about the fire attracting anyone. As the last rays go out and only the stars, the moon, and the campfire light up the night, Harold pulls out a harmonica and starts to play. It is a sad melody and makes Nea realize how lonely she is. She looks to Luica and sees that Zippi has fallen asleep in her arms. Luica’s head leans on Harold’s shoulder and she looks dreamily into the fire. As the tune ends, she kisses her old father affectionately on the cheek and Nea feels like an intruder. Therefore, she excuses herself politely and lies down on the tent floor. After a few seconds she closes her eyes and sleeps for the first time in an eternity without fear. With the large Luica and Harold and Zippi, Nea feels safe.

  The next morning, Luica wakes Nea early. To Nea’s astonishment, the others have already stowed the entire camp away. She is ashamed that she did not help them; after all, she owes them a lot already. Normally Nea’s sleep is not too deep, but she probably caught up on the lost sleep of the past two years.

  When Nea apologies, Harold said it was not bad because she would not have known where things went and would have been in the way as she did not know the routine. After a few minutes, the rest of the camp is stored. The two cows are harnessed together to the wagon. Luica and Harold rise to the coach box, while Nea helps Zippi herd the goats behind the wagon, it does not take much as the goats seem to be familiar with the routine and trot obediently behind the packed carriage.

  They travel slower than Nea would if she were traveling alone, but the three seem to know which way to go, even if they do not have a map or a compass.

  “How do you know where to go?” Nea curiously asks Zippi, glad to have been able to find a topic of conversation.

  “We always take the same route. Sometimes we have to stop and sleep, we found the best places to rest and find food.”

  “Are you going only to Dementia, or will you go further?”

  “We visit a few villages outside of Dementia, but the Carris have the best shops to deal with, they always pay well.”

  “And they never try to capture you?”

  “No, because otherwise we could not bring them more goods.”

  N
ea hesitates, because she remembers that the Carris are known for their excellent farming, so why should they need to buy milk or eggs from strangers?

  “Do the Carris have no animals?”

  “Of course they do, but it’s not the same.”

  Nea looks at Zippi with a puzzled expression. She wants to inquire further, but he quickly changes the subject.

  “We can sit on the wagon seat the last part of the way,” he said, grinning at her with his gap toothed smile.

  Around noon, they stop for a short rest and eat homemade bread and drink fresh cow’s milk. Luica says they would arrive at Dementia later in the day, but will not reach their trading post until the next day.

  Once they have delivered their goods, they will leave. Luica offers to put in a good word with the guards for Nea to allow her safe passage, but Nea rejects this offer. It may be that the Carris like doing business with the three of them, for whatever reason, but she doubts that Luica’s influence is enough to get her a transit permit. Therefore, Nea says she will move on alone the next morning. Upon hearing this, Zippi roars with his mouth full, that they should have a farewell party for Nea that evening. Nea laughs again and her heart is somewhat heavy when she thinks about having to move on alone again.

  She has stayed with these three for only two days and already it’s difficult for her to leave them, because they welcomed her so warmly, she will especially miss the little cheeky Zippi.

  After another hour in the woods, it begins to thin slowly. It is time for Luica and Harold to trade places with Zippi and Nea. Nea might actually need no rest because of the slow pace she does not feel the least bit tired. She is used to long walks, but nevertheless, she is pleased to be able to rise to the coach box.

  It does not take much to steer the cows on the flat road, for they know the way as well as their owners. The carriage lurches up and down, but you can still see much more of the landscape than you could by simply walking. By now the sun has come up through the clouds and melts the last remnants of snow from the ground. The fir trees are slowly replaced by bare deciduous trees and the soft moss covered soil turns into a green meadow. The forest is getting lighter the further they go, and finally all that’s left of the forest is a single isolated tree.

  They are now traveling near a former animal enclosure. The wood of the fence posts is quite weathered. Many are overturned and are buried in the high grass. The sun has once again come out of hiding from behind the clouds and its rays reach the ground. Eventually they reach a clearing where the cows stand still. They are waiting for a command to tell them where to go, but Harold is of the opinion that they have traveled enough for today and it is time to set up camp. While Zippi and Harold build the tents and Luica takes care of the fire, Nea offers to go chase a few rabbits. Happy that her offer is accepted, she sets out hunting, armed with her knife. She went so far through the grass that she could no longer see the camp, but could only hear their voices when quiet. She closes her eyes and tries to make out a rustling sound.

  Miro’s hand rested quietly on Nea’s hip while his breath tickled her neck.

  Close your eyes and relax,” he whispered to her. Nea held her breath with excitement. She closed her eyes and tried not to think of Miro’s hands on her body. Previously, his touches never bothered her. But for some reason, this made her feel insane, if his skin lightly grazed hers, she could barely think straight. Sometimes it made her so furious that she insulted him for no reason, only to regret it later.

  “Did you hear that rustling?”

  No, she did not hear anything except the wonderful tenor of his tender voice. His breath felt like velvet as it passed her ear. “Concentrate,” she told herself, loosening her shoulders.

  She listened as the rain fell on the leaves, and then in the distance there was the faint rustle of an animal.

  “Did you hear it?”

  Nea nodded.

  She did not have to wait long because she hears a faint patter close to her. As quietly as possible, she approaches this noise. She comes closer and closer to it, but then all she sees is light brown fur scurrying away. She tries to follow the animal, but all she sees is fleeing hind legs. Again and again she misses the animal whenever she throws her knife at it. At this point, she could use her net, but that is in her backpack, and her backpack is back in the camp. Eventually she concedes defeat and returns to the camp empty-handed. They do not blame her, and Luica has heated a few old tins of spaghetti over a fire, the expiration date has probably passed long ago, but to Nea it is important to show her gratitude. She asks Harold for her backpack and sets a trap with her net in the vicinity of the camp. With luck, the animal that she could not catch earlier will be caught in the night. Nea remembers the dog she trapped last time and how powerless she was to kill it. Its fur was the same color as the hare whose hind legs was all she saw.

  The spaghetti is nothing special, though Nea eats reverently, for this will be her last meal together with these three, then she will have to fend for herself again. She enjoys the warmth of the fire and listening to the faint crackle. After they have eaten, Harold brings his harmonica back out and agrees to play a fun tune that Luica and Zippi both seem to know. Joy radiates all over their faces and they begin to sing loudly.

  The song is about a man who is taken for a ride. He exchanges his house for a cow, his cow for a pig, a pig for a rooster, and finally, the rooster for a loaf of bread, yet he is always happy and cheerful. Nea’s three hosts look hilarious while the song plays. Harold bobs his feet to the beat, Luica sings full throated, and Zippi jumps around the fire happily. Harold plays more funny songs, but Nea knows none of them, however she is more amused than she has been in the last two years. Finally, Luica gets up and comes back with a brown bottle and three glasses. She gives one to everyone but Zippi. She then pours a dark red liquid in to the glasses. If Nea is not mistaken, it’s wine. Sometimes at night, Nea’s parents would snuggle together on the soft sofa, light candles, and drink wine while looking out through the window at night when they thought she was asleep. If Nea came to them, they always gave her grape juice to drink instead of wine. However, once she was allowed to taste the wine but it tasted so sour she never asked for it again and was fully satisfied with her sweet grape juice.

  Nea’s head is spinning, as if she had just stepped off a roller coaster. She could barely keep her glass of wine straight. But, she was nice and warm. So hot that her jacket was in the corner next to Miro’s sweater. He just sat in his white undershirt, which was dotted with dark red spots. On his right arm was a little black N, a tattoo of Nea’s first initial. Nea had refused to get a tattoo of an M. He was so offended that he would not speak to her for three days.

  Nea never regretted her decision. She knows that Miro will always be by her side, so she has no need of a tattoo with his initials.

  They found the two bottles of wine in a box they stole from a dealer. At first she drank slowly, but now she empties one glass after the other. They placed the first bottle on the floor and started to play a game, Truth or Dare.

  To Nea’s regret, they did not play alone, but with three other teenagers. Two boys and a girl. She hated having to share Miro. But even now, she hated seeing the other girl clinging to Miro’s neck; she was like a leech stuck to him, her long blond hair falling over his bare shoulders. All the time she looked at Miro and then would whisper into his ear, then Miro would giggle. Nea hated that Miro would laugh every time.

  Now the blonde’s turn came. She was already so drunk that she could barely spin the empty bottle.

  “Whoever this bottle points to, Nea must kiss,” the blonde stammered and sent a spiteful look in Nea’s direction, in protest, Nea crossed her arms over her chest.

  The bottle turned in a circle, while Nea looked at the bottle; Miro was disinterested and shrugged his shoulders. When the bottle stopped and pointed to one of the strange boys, the blonde broke out into peals of laughter. Nea’s only thought was of her escape. As if bit by a tarantula, she jum
ped up. “No way!”

  “Spoilsport!” hissed the blonde.

  “If you’re so keen on it, you kiss him!”

  “But you have to kiss him, those are the rules.”

  Nea had never kissed a boy before, not even Miro. Miro however had already kissed so many girls that Nea had stopped counting. She no longer wanted to know how many he had kissed. Nevertheless, she did not want her first kiss to be some random idiot.

  Seeking help, she looked at Miro, but he only raised his eyebrows. “You know the rules.”

  Did it not matter to him? Or was she really behaving like a little girl? Maybe it was time for her to grow up. What was the big deal? It’s not like she was going to sleep with the boy, only kiss him.

  Hesitantly she brushed her curly brown hair behind her ear. Although she felt a blush shoot through her cheeks, she sat down in front of the strange boy. He had neither Miro’s blue eyes nor his slightly crooked nose. Instead, his eyes were a turbid mouse gray and his nose was so wide, as if someone had pushed it flat. Nea was not ready for her first kiss, she had always thought it would be with someone special, with someone who loved her.

  She leaned forward slightly.

  “Okay Nea, that's enough,” she now heard Miro laugh. She turned to face him interrogatively. The blonde looked just as confused as Nea, the two boys also looked puzzled. The only one to think it was a joke was Miro. “Did you really think you’d have to kiss him?”

  Now the blonde began to giggle again, Nea instantly felt very stupid. Miro often made jokes around others. Out of anger, Nea forgot to be relieved about not having to kiss the strange boy.

  “No, as if I would do a thing like that,” Nea said, defending herself.

  “If I had not said anything, would you have gone and kissed him?” Miro asked with a grin on his face, but his voice sounded more serious than his facial expressions would suggest.

  Just like Nea as a child, Zippi protested because he did not get any wine. There is no grape juice, so he would have to be satisfied with milk. Actually, Nea would rather drink milk than wine, but did not want to be rude. It is certainly difficult to get wine, and Luica has already poured the glass. She and Harold cheer to their family, and then cheer Nea on with a successful journey.