Killer Game

by Kirsty McKay

  After the oak tree I turned in for the night, feeling kind of giggly, switched off the light . . . and just as I was going to sleep, crazy Alex slipped into my room, nearly gave me a heart attack. Don’t worry, I kicked him out. Nicely, but very definitely. As he left my room he acted so cool, like it was no big deal, but his eyes in the weak light of my bedside lamp gave him away. He looked angry, a bit embarrassed . . . but there was something else too. I think it was panic. Probably the first time in his life someone told him no.

  The memory of that night, and now Vaughan’s hand in mine, is making me flush so hot, and I hope it’s not showing on my face.

  Suddenly, there’s the sound of a door slamming, somewhere down the corridor. I swear, Vaughan leaps to his feet, and as one we move to the door, listening for footsteps, side by side, our ears pressed to the wood. No footsteps come. Vaughan looks at me, after a minute.

  ‘Just like old times,’ he whispers. ‘Having fun?’

  ‘You should go.’ Being close to him, like this, is having a weird effect on me that I don’t want to think about. Plus, I really don’t want detention.

  He nods. We wait a minute more, and then I slowly open the door, looking up and down the corridor for anyone who might be lingering.

  ‘Stay here. I’ll check the side staircase,’ I say to him.

  I run down the corridor, and skibble down the stairs lightly. No one. I run back up and back into the dorm. ‘Coast is clear,’ I say.

  He smiles. ‘Thanks, Catey-Cate.’

  I mock-frown at his use of my nickname, and he giggles and the eight-year-old comes back. It breaks my heart. Suddenly, I want to tell him I’m sorry for getting into that car all those years ago and never looking back. And I want to tell him that I like this weird, funny person my best friend turned into. But of course, I don’t tell him that. I give him a brief, tight grin, and tap his shoulder lightly, like I’m patting a dog.

  And he’s off. I follow him down the corridor, and then partially down the stairs, and let him go.

  On my way back, I get the urge to duck into the shower room again – but not to do anything more useful than check out my reflection. Do I look all right? Hair OK? Face OK? I redden. Like it matters. Like I care what Vaughan thinks.

  We left my dorm door open. I leave the bathroom and walk back up the corridor to shut it. When I get there, there’s something off, and I stop at the door. What’s wrong here? I can’t place what it is, exactly – is the door open a little more than we left it? The air feels different, fresher, like someone opened a window and closed it again. I walk in, slowly, eyeing my window. It is shut, and there are no indications that it has been open any time recently. I’m about to leave, when something catches my eye on the pillow next to Wuffy.

  My watch.

  I walk up to it slowly, as if it’s going to explode. Was that there before? Surely not. I would have seen it, while I was dying of embarrassment over my furry friend.

  Who put the watch there?

  I swing round, looking behind me, back at the door. I’m alone. I glance over to Marcia’s bed. Has she been in, after Vaughan and I were here? I lean over to pick the watch up. There’s some sand in the rubber strap, but it’s not scratched, and still ticking. I see something, half sticking out from underneath Wuffy: a small white strip of paper. I drop the watch down on to the crumpled duvet, and pick up the paper. There are words, in blood-red ink:

  YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME

  Blood rushes to my head, making me dizzy. I sink on to the bed, reading the piece of paper again, as if it’s going to suddenly change. Whose handwriting? None that I recognize.

  I force myself to stand, and run to check the window again, run to the door and check the corridor, even crouch down on the floor and look under the bed. But no one is there.

  ‘Hello?’ I call out, my heart beating.

  But of course, no one answers. Finally, I scrunch the paper up and shove it in my pocket, and run all the way to High Tea.

  CHAPTER 8

  The days pass, and in spite of the fact that I am ‘running out of time’, Thursday dawns and I’m still alive. I hide the note in my study, in a Psychology textbook. No chance of anyone finding it there.

  Thursday means games, rather than the Game, unfortunately, and even worse, it means swimming. Umfraville has a wonderful outdoor pool. At least, it would be wonderful if the school was on an island somewhere hot, but as we’re in the middle of the Irish Sea it’s a frigid nightmare.

  Ezra decided we needed an Olympic-size pool, just in case we ever got ourselves an Olympic swimmer. The water’s heated, so on any given day between the months of April and October we can find ourselves being ushered into the wet. What they forget, of course, is that the air is not heated. The pool is high on the cliffs, the perfect place for maximum exposure to the cruel wind. Ezra didn’t think too hard about that when he told the pool people where he wanted it built. It’s probably the world’s coldest infinity pool, as one side blends in perfectly with the sea below. Very picturesque. There’s a full-on grandstand for observers and built-in changing rooms below, where we scurry after the lesson, dripping, indignant and freezing to death.

  Marcia has somehow managed to wangle her way out of this ordeal. Newspaper deadline, probably; it affords her many privileges. I shuffle out of the changing room in my flip-flops and baggy hoodie, towel wrapped around my waist. The keen swimmers are warming up around the pool; no one is allowed in until a responsible adult arrives, obviously. A group of kids – mainly Guild – are sitting on the grandstand, almost at the top. I start the climb towards them.

  We have this petty routine to keep us out of the water for the longest time possible. It goes like this: the gym teacher, Mr Churley, will pop up out of some underground tunnel or wherever they keep him, and call us all down to get into the pool. We’ll plod down, drawing it out as long as we possibly can. It might shave a minute off actual swimming, but mostly it’s about control in a place where we have none. As I climb up, I see that most of the boys are balancing on the benches, Rick telling some joke and beating his bare chest in the wind. The girls and the rest of the boys are a little way off, huddled and whispering. I notice that Becky has her lovely long hair in a swimming cap; probably not risking exposure to any more chemicals.

  Daniel is up there on his own, looking miserable. Violinists really shouldn’t be made to endure any kind of physical exercise; it’s just cruel. He’s Goofy-tall, wearing a long green and red robe, thin, hairy legs stretched out. He doesn’t see me as I climb, but gazes out to sea and taps an intricate rhythm, with his long index fingers beating like drumsticks on his knees. Maybe he does see me, but he doesn’t want to engage. There’s that conversation we have to have at some point, and I’m dreading it even more as time goes by. I wonder if he’s already buried it, and has replaced it with low-level disinterest. Boys can be very good at that.

  OK, so in lieu of Daniel, let us talk about the awkward. I might be holding out on him, but I’ll give it up for you.

  Every year at Umfraville there’s a summer party. It started off as a sixth-form thing – a way to find a release after exams, legitimizing the partying that would find a way to surface regardless of whether the staff actually allowed it. However, after a few years, there were some complaints from lower down the school, and in the spirit of equality Ezra decided to extend the party to everyone.

  Last term’s shindig was a classic. It was a rare hot night, there was a marquee on the lawn so that any teen not totally self-preoccupied could enjoy the sun setting over the water. School bands played, there was food and even swimming in the pool. Someone spiked the fruit punch, and I felt woozy. I was feeling lonely and full of self-doubt after the Alex hook up, and Daniel was there, and something was done that could not be undone. We kissed, right here, on this grandstand. At the time, I felt careless; now, it bothers me greatly.

  Like I’ve said, I don’t fancy Daniel. I’ve tried to, because it would be easier, but he’s a friend. He m
akes me laugh, and we have the most ridiculous, tangential conversations that blow my mind because he’s so clever and random and off the wall. We like the same sad music (apart from the violin stuff, which I’m not so big on), and we both get a kick out of anime and sci-fi movies. We are dweebs together, and it’s comfortable. But normally I don’t want to kiss him, and unfortunately for both of us, that is not mutual.

  Oh, I don’t know what I was thinking on the grandstand. Summer madness, yucky punch and a stupid attempt to get rid of Alex Aftertaste, that’s all. Daniel and I didn’t talk about it the next day, and we haven’t said much to each other since, which is phenomenally sad. As Marcia so kindly pointed out, he knows I don’t want to boyfriend/girlfriend-up, and he also knows that I know he does. That’s awkward to say, but even more awkward to live.

  So, I park my behind on the benches a few rows down from him, on my own. It’s getting to the point where all this ignoring is just stupid. Which of us is going to be the bigger person and get this friendship up and rolling again? I look out at the cold, slate-grey sea, then down into the warmer, pale-blue pool. Not either of us today.

  ‘My, this is bracing!’

  I jump. Vaughan has plonked himself down beside me. He’s just wearing Speedos, the teeny-tinies, not even the bike short ones. Oh, bloody hell.

  ‘Although, when I saw swimming on the timetable I thought we’d all be greasing ourselves up and heading for Ireland. Disappointingly tame, really. I hear the jellyfish are invigorating.’

  ‘Wait till you get out of the water,’ I quip. ‘It’s cold enough. And we’ll probably be doing this until half-term.’

  Vaughan slaps his thighs. ‘Hoorah for that!’

  I’m trying not to look at him. Considering the last time I saw him semi-naked we were probably running under a hose in somebody’s garden, it makes me nervous to see him in all his Speedo-ed glory. But out of the corner of my eye I’m absolutely checking him out. In spite of his height and slender build, he doesn’t have the unappealing lankiness of most tall teenage boys. Daniel leaps into my mind, and I hate myself for making the comparison. Vaughan’s no muscleman freak like Rick, but there’s certainly . . . tone. As we sit, I’m becoming aware of the attention he’s getting from above – a ripple of approval from the girls. Wait till the boys spot him, he’s going to get annihilated.

  Mr Churley appears below.

  ‘Get your lazy arses down here!’ he yells up at us. I think he likes it. If he ever appeared and there was no one sitting on the grandstand, I’m sure he’d be disappointed. Shouting at us is his idea of a warm-up.

  ‘Duty calls,’ smiles Vaughan, standing up. I look at him – eyes strictly on his face – and he blinks at me. ‘Chop, chop!’ He barks at me, sternly, just like Mr Churley. ‘Hurry up and get your kit off!’

  I gulp, not knowing if that little glint in his eye means that he’s making fun of me, or flirting . . . or if it’s all in my horrible little head.

  At this precise moment, Daniel troops down the steps past our row. He obviously overhears. He looks at me, as doleful as Droopy, but behind the sad is fury. It shocks me just as much as what Vaughan just said. I think about organizing my features into a picture of innocence, but it’s too late, he’s gone.

  ‘I promise I won’t splash you.’ Snap back to Vaughan, smiling that weird smile. Does he think he’s flirting? Do I think he is? Blimey, this was never a problem when we were eight. As I pick my jaw up off the floor, the girls schlep down the stairs slowly, and as they pass they are as sure as hell checking out Vaughan, with none of my subtlety.

  ‘Move it!’ Mr Churley yells from below.

  The Guild boys bound down the benches, on the other side from us. Vaughan glances at them, and his eyes twinkle.

  ‘Want to know a secret? They let me in!’

  ‘What?’ I falter.

  ‘I’m Guild now.’ He beams. ‘Or good as. Alex and the other Elders came to my study last night. There’s going to be some kind of initiation – of course! I’d be disappointed if there wasn’t! – and naturally, the rules have to be bent a little because everyone will know I’m not the Killer,’ he barely pauses for breath. Below us there are splashes and yells from the first swimmers entering the water. ‘But I can be Killed, so that’s exciting!’

  ‘I’m . . . pleased for you.’ It’s all I can think of to say, and it’s true, at least.

  His green eyes narrow. ‘But not pleased for you?’

  I switch my gaze to the swimmers, because I can’t look him in the face, and I certainly can’t afford to look at any other part of him. Below me, almost everyone else is in the pool, swimming up and down in lanes. Only a few stragglers are still disrobing, or talking to Mr Churley, trying to distract him so they get a few more precious moments of dry.

  ‘You don’t want me to play with you, Cate?’ Vaughan pouts, mock-hurt. Then again, maybe not so mock. I feel a hot face coming on.

  ‘No, I do . . .’ I wonder if I’m brave enough to be honest with him. ‘It’s just weird seeing you again. It’s nice—’ My face must be burning. ‘But weird. Mixing friends, past and present.’ I stutter, the words sounding so formal. ‘And the Game is a big deal, you know? Being chosen. I’ve kind of worked my way up to it . . .’

  ‘And I waltz in, so easily?’ He’s looking at me intently, examining my every pore. ‘I can understand that.’

  I bite my lip. ‘I still don’t know why you’re so bothered by being in the Game,’ I mutter. ‘I mean, let’s face it, you haven’t told me why you’re here, how come you know all the stuff you know about the island and everyone here and the Game.’ He looks away, suddenly focused on the pool. ‘But even more than that, why do you care?’

  He doesn’t answer for a minute. Well, maybe it’s thirty seconds, but it seems like the full sixty. Clouds cover the sun. Any second now Mr Churley will upgrade his yelling to screaming at us, standing up here on our own. Just as I think Vaughan isn’t going to speak, and I might as well jump into the deep, he answers me.

  ‘I like to be challenged, Cate. It’s what I need.’ He’s still not looking at me and his voice is so quiet I have to lean in to catch his words. ‘The Game. Yes, the puzzle of whodunnit and all that, a problem to solve, a solution to find.’ He waves a hand, dismissively. ‘But there’s more to this. What really interests me is the social game. It’s not about brains or algorithms or studying so hard you think your mind is calcifying.’ His shoulders rise around his ears, and he sighs, trying to force an ease of tension. ‘Social acceptance. That’s everything, isn’t it? It shouldn’t matter, but it does, because I’ve never had it. I just want to see if I can. The ultimate challenge for me.’ He glances at me, and then back to the water. ‘And so this is my laboratory,’ the hand waves over the pool below, ‘this is my social experiment, my attempt to assimilate. If I can’t make them love me here, in this school of freaks and geeks, where can I? You have to fake it till you make it.’ He turns to me again. ‘And the fact you’re here, well . . .’ His face crumples, and he suddenly pulls a silly expression, as if making light of everything he’s just said. ‘It just seems right. You always were a good sidekick.’

  This is my cue to mock-punch him, argue about who is the leader, who the follower. But I won’t. ‘Thanks,’ I say, making myself look at him. His eyes shine with a sudden hope that pierces my heart. ‘For explaining. And for giving me, er, another chance.’

  He kind of coughs, looks away, and so do I. This is deep stuff. That was almost my apology. It’s making me itchy. ‘We should go down there.’ I gesture vaguely to the swimmers, echoing Vaughan’s own theatrical wave. It feels clumsy. I clamp my hand to my side to stop it from happening again.

  Vaughan frowns. ‘What on earth is that?’

  At first I think the comment is aimed at me, but then I realize he’s also looking at the pool.

  ‘There, in the corner.’ He answers my question before I’ve asked it, pointing to the far corner of the deep end. There’s a kind of blur in the water
; a dark patch in the pale blue.

  ‘Nice,’ I say. ‘Is it oil or dirt or something?’

  The clouds move, and the sun comes out again. The blur is vivid red.

  ‘Or something,’ Vaughan says. I swear he licks his lips.

  There’s a swimmer in the corner. Cynthia, Elder of the Guild, in fact.

  She doesn’t seem to see the stuff behind her. She is treading water, skinny stick arms fiddling with her swimming cap, trying to push those enviable blonde curls underneath the rubber. Then she swims to the edge of the pool, pushes off, and starts to head back the other way. A trail of red follows her.

  ‘Is she bleeding?’ Vaughan says loudly.

  ‘Oh, please no,’ I cringe. My first thought is, period. Every girl’s total nightmare. Mother Nature shows up at the swimming pool and ruins the rest of your school life.

  There’s quite a trail of red. It’s a slick behind her as she ploughs through the water, a red wake. And she is blissfully ignorant.

  But others begin to notice. The small posse on the side of the pool have seen, and some of her fellow swimmers. There’s shrieking, and oh-gross-ing, and before I know it Vaughan and I are poolside. Mr Churley is standing by, looking in with an expression of concern, irritation and embarrassment. People are climbing out of the pool, pulling each other up, shivering with cold and adrenaline, as if Jaws has been let loose in the chlorine.

  And still Cynthia swims on.

  ‘Calm down, everyone!’ Mr Churley says, trotting up the side of the pool. ‘Cynthia! Cynthia, dear!’

  Wow. First time he’s ever called anyone dear.

  A couple of Cynthia’s friends follow. You can see they’re debating whether to jump in and somehow ‘save’ her, but let’s face it, nobody wants to get in the water with all the red, and nobody wants to be the one to tell her.