Dirty Shame (Bluefield Bad Boys #1)

by Tess Oliver

  I smiled. “You make it sound like it’s a different planet down there.”

  “It sort of is.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  Kellan looked around. “People don’t park here much anymore. The cops come up and shine a big spotlight into the car if the windshield is fogged up.”

  I looked down into the deep valley below. “Says the man who told me not to believe everything I hear.”

  “Not sure what you want me to say, Lanie. There’ve been other women, but none of them were you.”

  I swallowed the knot that his last words had formed in my throat. I’d had no plan of bringing up our last night together, but, suddenly, I just needed to talk about it. “That night, after I finally convinced myself you weren’t coming back to the roof, I ran into Jason Meade.” Just the mention of the name made Kellan’s jaw clench tight. They’d always been enemies. It seemed that still hadn’t changed. “He told me you’d taken off with Lilly Upton.” An ill-timed laugh fell from my lips. “I blamed myself for that. I was so inexperienced. I knew you needed someone more—well, anyhow.”

  He shook his head. “Jason lied. I wasn’t with Lilly.” He turned to me. “Christ, Lanie, I was so fucking nuts about you I had your name tattooed on my arm. Why the hell would you believe something Meade said?”

  Warm tears rolled down my cold cheeks. I’d caught my fiancé, the man I’d followed like a silly groupie to New York, screwing his assistant and not one tear had formed or even threatened to fall. “Because I had to believe something. I had to make sense of the anguish I was feeling.” I crossed my arms around myself more to keep myself from falling apart than to keep out the chill. “I was so damn in love with you. I was sure you felt the same.”

  He scrubbed his hands through his hair and seemed to be searching for something to say. “Are you fucking kidding? I couldn’t take a breath without thinking about you. I loved you. Fuck, I still love you, Lanie.” His fingers wrapped around my arms, and he brought his mouth down hard over mine.

  All of it came pouring back. The thrill. The heartbreak. The passion. The anguish. The tears.

  Kellan wrapped his arms around me and held me against him. “Christ, Lanie. Tell me this is real. I need to fucking know that this is real. That you are here again in my arms.”

  “It’s real, Kellan. I’m in your arms again.”

  A bittersweet hush fell between us as we rode back to the house, just the fresh air and silent, stoic shadows of nature surrounding us. Neither of us knew what this meant. We’d both survived losing each other, barely, it seemed, but were we just destined to get hurt all over? I couldn’t go through the heartbreak again. Kellan was a miner. He was connected to Bluefield with blood and sweat. I, on the other hand, couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life in Bluefield. As strongly as we still felt about each other, it was impossible to deny the fact that seven years had passed.

  Kellan coasted the motorcycle along the street and stopped at the pedestrian gate. It seemed, like me, he’d been wondering just what the hell came next. We’d gotten lost in a moment of passion, an emotional confession of sorts, but now what?

  I climbed off the motorcycle. Kellan gazed up at me with that intense blue gaze that always made my chest ache for him. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “I can walk you to the house.”

  I glanced through the iron gates. The house was dark and quiet. “Think it’s better if I go it alone.”

  He nodded. “Will I see you again, Lanie?”

  “Yes.” With that, I turned and went through the gate.

  Chapter 11

  Kellan

  I whistled for Max. He came trotting out from under the kitchen table where he’d been happily licking the remnants of a hamburger wrapper. It took him a second to get the muscles of his back legs working smoothly again. He stopped and stared up at me with a shred of the greasy wrapper still hanging from his mouth. I snatched out the paper and crumpled it in my fist. “You act like we don’t feed you, Max.”

  A big shake started in his ears and made its way down to the tip of his thick tail. I’d found Max out in the forest, half dead from what the vet had determined was a bear attack. He was half starved and his back legs had been pretty torn up, but he’d managed to lift his big head and look at me with soulful black eyes. I carried him back home and drove him thirty miles to a veterinarian in the city. Took me about two months of pay to get him better, but the doctor did a good job. He said Max’s strong will to survive had brought him through it.

  Tommy came out of his room scratching his stomach and yawning. “Where the hell did you ride off to last night? Thought you came home, but you weren’t here.”

  “Took a little ride.” I’d been up most of the night thinking about that little ride. I could still taste Rylan. I could still feel her in my arms. Holding her wasn’t like holding other girls. Holding her was like holding everything in life I’d ever wanted or needed. But as she’d walked alone back up to the house, I was reminded of the fact that even though she was all I needed, she’d been slated for a different life. Fate had cruelly placed my soul mate on the wrong side of town.

  Tommy, looking as if he’d finished the night with too much beer and too few wins at the poker table, accepted my vague answer and plodded into the kitchen. I crouched down to tie my running shoe. Max licked my face in eager anticipation of our run. He always started out more enthusiastic than he finished. By our last mile, Max would be dragging behind me giving me the evil eye and silently questioning himself about why he’d agreed to go along. I kept a rawhide in my pocket just to make sure I had a way to get him all the way back home without having to carry him.

  I straightened and reached for the door.

  Tommy stepped into the room with a banana. “You went to see Rylan.” He didn’t even bother to ask it as a question. Tommy and Dawson knew me well enough to not have to ask questions, especially when it came to Rylan.

  “Yep. I’m going for a run.”

  “After the way you twisted yourself up in knots about her, it seems like you’d have more sense than to go after her.”

  I looked back at him. “Speaking of getting twisted up over someone—if you had a chance with Andi, you’d just say fuck it and not bother?”

  He reached up and rubbed his knuckles against his beard stubble. “Stupid comparison.” His eyes flicked with that same disappointment I always saw when the topic of Andi came up. “I’m not ever going to have a chance with Andi. Nothing’s changed. Rylan is still a Highlander, and her dad is still just a ruthless businessman who holds your chains.”

  “Fuck, Pollyanna, you’re just full of fucking cheer this morning.”

  He lifted his hand. “Fine, do whatever the hell you want. Just don’t come crying to me when it all goes to shit.”

  Max and I walked out, and I snapped the door shut behind us.

  My feet pounded the dirt road. Max trotted obediently behind as we headed out. I’d taken up running as a way to deal with all the crap life liked to hand over and to stay in shape. After seeing my dad wither from being a big, burly guy, who could lick anyone in an arm wrestle and chop up enough wood for an entire winter in one long afternoon, to a man who had to carry an oxygen tank in his gnarled gray fingers just to have enough breath to make it to the refrigerator, I was determined not to go that way.

  I glanced back. Max was still in tail wagging mode. He loped along right next to me, keeping up with my long strides, even though his hind legs were sometimes just going through the motions. A long recovery from three surgeries had taught the dog to rely more on his front legs than his back. Occasionally, if we were moving fast and I stopped suddenly, he would do a quick nosedive as his strong front legs put on the brakes.

  We reached the end of town. I turned onto the dirt road that led to the river and the wide open stretch of lan
d split in two by the tracks. The terrain was smooth and easy to run. And the air along the river was better. The mossy wet smell of running water muted the acrid taste of coal dust.

  I’d hardly slept with thinking about Rylan. Being with her again had felt so easy and so right. In the back of my mind, I knew everything Tommy had said was true. Graham Merritt held my future and my livelihood in his hands, and I was the last person on Earth he wanted near his daughter. Even though it had been seven years, I knew he was still stuck in the past, mired in his own ignorance and fucked up beliefs that Trogs had no business on his side of town. We worked for him and kept him and his cronies in fine houses and cars, but we had no business mingling with their kind. Rylan had had plenty of fights with her parents about me, but she’d never known just how ugly her father’s disdain for me had gone. And I planned to keep it that way. All she needed to know was that my feelings for her were just as solid as they were back then. Maybe that’s all this was to me, a chance to make her understand how much I cared for her. I wasn’t delusional. Rylan Merritt was destined for better things than me, but I wanted her to know that I had never stopped thinking of her. Even when I’d fallen silent and avoided her before she left town, I was still with her. She was still in my heart. She was there for good.

  The arches of Jackson Bridge curved up into a clear blue sky. The churning, relentless roar of the river added sound to an otherwise quiet landscape. Few people, except Meade and his buddies, and Dawson, Tommy and Andi knew that I’d jumped off the bridge. They were the only ones who knew what had happened. I doubted even Rylan’s dad knew just how far Meade’s scare tactics had gone that night. Not wanting my mom to see me, I’d stayed the night rolled up in a blanket on Dawson’s floor. Andi had crept down the dark hall and came into the room to find out who Dawson was talking to. She’d spent the next hour cleaning up my cuts and bruises. She’d told me she could help with the physical pain, but the rest of it was up to me. Andi always knew just what to say. It was always easy to understand why Tommy was so nuts about her.

  Max got a burst of energy and trotted ahead, most likely to terrorize a squirrel or lizard. As I hit my stride, I reached a clearing near the tracks. A girl on a bicycle was peddling toward me. It was Rylan. At first I wondered if I was just imagining the adorable vision riding in my direction. Then Max trotted toward her with his tail wagging wildly.

  Rylan stopped the bike and put her feet down. She held the handlebars with one hand and reached down to pet Max with the other. Max did his usual circular dance, a trick he used to get a hearty rub on every inch of his body.

  Rylan looked up at me. There just wasn’t any damn thing better than her smile.

  “What a great dog. When did you get him?” Max continued to circle her. She gifted him with a long stroke of his fur.

  “He sort of got me. Or I guess we got each other. Found him near death out by Sander’s Trail. Guess he tried to take on a bear.”

  She looked at the scars on Max’s back legs. “You poor baby. And you’re such a sweetheart.”

  “He likes you. He doesn’t like many people.”

  Her creamy cheeks were pink. Her green eyes were glittering from the sunlight and the fresh air. “Really?”

  “Nah, that’s a lie. If you smile just right at him, he’ll follow you home.” Max heard my voice and trotted back over to me.

  “I don’t know about that,” Rylan said. “He’s looking at you with dreamy eyes as if you’re his one and only.”

  I patted the pocket on my sweatshirt. “Rawhide.”

  She laughed. And there it was, the one damn thing on Earth better than Rylan’s smile. Her laugh. I walked up and squeezed the rubber horn on her bike. It scared a bird out of a nearby patch of tall grass. Max took off after it. We watched the dog’s futile effort to catch an animal that could fly.

  “He figures if he runs fast enough, he’ll grow his own pair of wings.” I looked back at the bike. “New set of wheels?”

  She shrugged. “Apparently, at one point, my mom went through a bicycling stage. And since I sold my car before I went to New York, I decided to try it out.”

  “You sold your car? You loved that stupid little red tin box on wheels.”

  “Ginger was not a tin box. She was my loyal steed.” A sweet sigh rolled off her even sweeter lips. “And all it took was one stupid, pigheaded man telling me I had to give her up because there was no place to park in New York, and I handed her off for three hundred dollars to some questionable looking guy with a strange bubble gum snapping habit. I’m such a knucklehead. Anyhow, my dad told me I could use my mom’s Mercedes, but she bitches if I move the seat or the mirrors. Plus, the leather interior reeks of that horrid menthol smelling grease she uses for sore muscles. I guess this time she’s really serious about the whole exercise and diet thing. The fridge is filled with yogurt, and my dad has taken to hiding pastrami sandwiches in his desk drawer. I’ll stop babbling now.”

  “Shit, and I was just thinking that I could sit here all damn day and watch those lips as you babble.”

  She sat her bottom back up on the seat and leaned the bike on one foot. “As I recall, I didn’t need to be babbling for these lips to get your attention. You were always pretty damn focused on them.”

  “Guilty as charged.”

  Rylan looked around at the scenery. “I’m actually liking this mode of transportation. Forgot how pretty it was out here. And Sunday. I always loved Sunday, the only day those damn trains didn’t go racing through town shaking the windows and leaving behind a trail of smoke and coal dust.”

  “Where you headed to?” I asked.

  “Nowhere in particular. Just exploring and maybe hoping I’d eventually run into you.”

  “Yeah, hoping? I like that. Why don’t you come over to my place in an hour. I’ll make you some lunch.”

  “Kellan Braddock in an apron, and making me lunch, no less. Actually, I do remember you cooking me some scrambled eggs once. They were the worst, most rubbery eggs I’d ever tasted. I ate every last bite.”

  “I think my skills have improved a little since then. But don’t expect anything more than grilled cheese. And I don’t have an apron.”

  “No? Too bad. I’ll bet your ass would look great sticking out from beneath an apron tie.”

  I glanced back over my shoulder. “You’re right. I’ll have to get an apron sometime. What do you say, Lanie?” Max barked once. “See, even Max wants you to come.”

  “I think Max is bored of standing here while there are critters to sniff out of the grass. Do you think you can pick me up in front of my house in an hour?” She waved her hand over the bike. “Think my legs will only carry me this far once today.”

  I stepped closer and pushed a long strand of her light brown hair behind her ear. A sweet, familiar smile followed my gesture. “Why do I get the feeling you’re just using me to get to my Harley?”

  Rylan tilted her head. “Now every woman knows that a Harley isn’t worth a damn unless there is a hot man gripping its handlebars.” Just then her handlebars turned sharply, and she nearly fell over with her bike. I caught the bike and the girl and righted them.

  She laughed. “Jeez, I’m lame at the flirting thing.”

  “You kidding? All you have to do is take a deep breath, and you’ve got my full attention.”

  Her smile softened as she gazed up at me. “Still that sweet talking boy who could talk me into skipping my next class or climbing down from my room in the middle of the night.”

  I reached up and took hold of her chin, lifting her face and those lush lips closer. “Are you saying I was a bad influence?” I kissed her until Max, pissed about not being the center of attention, decided to worm between me and the girl. He wriggled his big body and shot off one, loud bark. “You might just have wiggled your way out of that rawhide, buddy. I’ll pick you up in an ho
ur, Lanie.”

  Chapter 12

  Lanie

  The ride back was more uphill than I’d remembered. A quick shower and three different wardrobe changes and I was ready to wait out front for Kellan. I was beyond excited and beyond nervous and feeling as unsure about everything as I could possibly feel. But the one thing I was sure of was that I wanted to be near Kellan.

  I made it as far as the front sitting room before I ran into a parent. Mom had on a neon green, racer back tank and black leggings. The fourth workout outfit I’d seen on her today, and it wasn’t even noon. “Mom, you do realize that hanging around the house in workout gear does not count as exercise?”

  She waved off my comment. “Don’t forget the Hinkleys are coming for dinner tonight, and they’re anxious to see you.”

  “Wish I could say the same thing about them.”

  Another comment dismissal. Mom was good at filtering down to just the stuff she wanted to hear. “Did you see my message? I stuck it on the buffet in the formal dining room. On a pink sticky note. I put it right next to the silver tea set that Aunt Gertrude gave me on my fortieth birthday.” She pressed on obviously hoping that by giving enough details the message would suddenly jump back into my memory.

  “Mom, you lost me at formal dining room. I don’t think I’ve walked into that room since my return. Heck, since you only use it for parties and holidays I don’t think I’ve been in there since Christmas 2008. So no, I didn’t see the message. What was it?”

  She drew in her lips as if she was fixing her lipstick, but I knew her well enough to know she was hoping I’d seen the note so she wouldn’t have to give me the message face to face. “Chase called here.”

  I put up my hand. “And this time you lost me at Chase.”

  “Rylan, sweetie, shouldn’t you at least talk to him?”

  “About what? I guess I could mention that he was damn lucky that my blood tests for STDs all came back negative. Otherwise, I was going to send a mass email to his entire office letting them know.”