Can't Stop the Feeling

by Maria Geraci

  He rubbed his clean-shaven jaw. “A forensics audit, huh?”

  * * *

  Jenna waited till she’d buckled her seat belt to let out a disgusted puff of air. “That was nothing but a big fat waste of time.” She glanced over at Ben, who’d been waiting patiently in the car during her visit.

  “Let me guess. He doesn’t know anything about anything,” Ben said.

  “I dangled that forensics audit right under his nose and he never once blinked. He actually told me he thought it was a good idea! He’s a cool cucumber, all right. But he’s guilty of something. I can feel it.”

  “He’s guilty of burglary. Period. Because he isn’t going to confess to anything else.”

  “He doesn’t like you, you know.”

  “The feeling is mutual.”

  “But he thinks I should vote yes to Nora’s offer anyway.”

  “He told you that?”

  “Oh yes.” She raised her voice a few notches and fluttered her eyelashes. “Oh, Mr. Big Smart Former City Manager, I don’t know how to vote. Can you help me?”

  He barked out a laugh. “You didn’t.”

  “After I told him I’d pray for him. Or maybe it was before.”

  “I’m just glad the whole things over.” When she didn’t say anything, he frowned. “It is over, isn’t?”

  “I suppose so.” She glanced back at the facility. It occurred to her that while she’d been apprehensive to go inside the jail, the experience could mean something totally different to Ben. “Did you ever have to visit your brother here?”

  He followed her gaze. A muscle on the side of his jaw twitched. “Not here. When he was twelve, he went to a juvenile detention center. But there were other jails. In other cities. He was a decent kid at heart. And my mom did her best.” She thought he was done, but after a few moments he added, “I shouldn’t have gone to Boston. I should have stayed here in Florida. I could have helped her keep an eye on him.”

  She turned in her seat to stare at him. “Do you know how many people would give their right arm to go to Harvard? And let’s say you did stay in Florida for law school, then what? Were you supposed to just drop everything every time Jake did something he wasn’t supposed to? You basically fell off the planet for an entire week when he stole that car, and I don’t know anyone but you who would have still aced their finals. Look at what you’re doing for Rachel! And your mom. I’ve said it before, you’re a good son, Ben. And I’m sure you were a good brother, too.”

  “It’s weird, sometimes I think this has all been a big dream. That any minute I’ll see him standing at my door…asking for money and telling me this would be the time he’d finally get clean.”

  It was the first time since the night Rachel ran away that he’d talked about Jake. She didn’t want to pry and she certainly didn’t want to make him more melancholy than he seemed at the moment, but something Pat said to her the other day at The Bistro had stuck. Talking about him is the one thing that actually makes it a little better.

  “What was Jake like?” she asked softly.

  “He loved baseball. I used to watch him a lot, when my mom was at work. Whenever I could, we’d go to the field behind the elementary school and I’d pitch balls to him. He was a total natural. He played in high school and was their star hitter, but he got caught smoking dope and got himself kicked off the team. He could have gotten a scholarship, but he just…” He shook his head.

  “What was his favorite team?”

  “The Yankees.” He smiled ruefully. “I know, I know, everyone is supposed to hate them, but when I was home on leave once, I took Jake to see them spring train in Tampa. He was ten. We went to the aquarium and then we went to Orlando to do the whole Disney thing. He said…he told me later that it was the best week of his life.”

  Her throat felt all lumpy, like she’d tried to swallow something that was too big to go down. “I like the Yankees, too. Even though I know I’m supposed to root for the Rays.”

  For a long time, he didn’t say anything. He glanced back at the jail. “I thought coming out here would be a dead end, but I admire the way you went with your gut. For what it’s worth, I think Whispering Bay is really lucky to have you, Red.”

  It was the first time in thirteen years that he’d called her Red. She reached out and slipped her hand in his. It felt big and warm, and when he gently squeezed her hand back, everything around her went fuzzy.

  They were having a moment. Only this felt bigger than a moment. It felt like…

  Oh no. She’d fallen in love with Ben all over again.

  Maybe she’d never really stopped.

  “Will you come back to the house and have dinner? With Rachel and my mother? They’d both really like that. And so would I. Please.”

  Logic and reason told her to say no. The more time she spent with him and Rachel, the harder it would be to say goodbye. But her heart didn’t give a fig for logic and reason. “I’d love to have dinner with your family.”

  * * *

  Dinner at Ben’s was lovely. They had meatloaf and mashed potatoes with all the trimmings, and Rachel entertained them with stories from her first days at preschool. Ben, who’d shed his jacket and tie the minute he’d walked into the door, seemed relaxed, adding to the conversation in a natural way.

  Afterward, Jenna helped Pat with clean-up duty while Ben put Rachel to bed. She cleared the plates while Pat loaded them into the dishwasher. “That was the best meatloaf I’ve ever tasted,” Jenna said. “Secret family recipe?”

  “You could say that. But if you want to know exactly what’s in it you’ll have to ask Ben. He’s the one who made dinner tonight.”

  Jenna spun around to face her. “Seriously?”

  “My son is a man of many talents.”

  “Huh. My brother has a signature dish. Spaghetti carbonara.”

  “And that’s it?”

  “Pretty much. I think he perfected it to impress the girls back in his single days.”

  Pat laughed. “Ben doesn’t have a signature dish. He’s just an all-around good cook. Let’s see…meatloaf, mac and cheese, shepherd’s pie. You name it and he can cook it, all under ten dollars, too.”

  “That’s impressive.”

  “Nowadays he doesn’t have to worry about keeping down expenses but back when he was growing up, money was real tight. Ben did all the grocery shopping and the cooking, even the cleaning, too. I don’t have to tell you how nice it was to come home after being on my feet for twelve hours to a clean house and a hot meal. I feel bad that he didn’t have a real childhood. From the day…since he was nine years old, he’s been the man of the house. I wanted him to be like other boys and play sports, have a girlfriend. But he was always focused on the big picture. I suppose that’s why he’s so successful today.”

  The life Pat described was completely the opposite of Jenna’s childhood. She’d had two parents and a nice upper-middle-class home. After school there had been dance and piano lessons and swim team competitions. In the summers they’d taken family vacations to the Grand Canyon, Caribbean cruises and one time, they’d even gone to Europe. Her mother worked a job where she was always home by four-thirty and available to help with homework and to drive her and Eric to all their activities.

  “Ben told me that he used to pitch to Jake.”

  “He doted on his little brother. Took Jake’s death real hard. That’s why he’s so adamant that he do right by Rachel. He has it all planned out. The best schools, the best neighborhood, which to him means as far away from Hopalinka as possible.” She let out a big sigh, then closed the dishwasher door shut. “Ben says you have two nieces.”

  “They’re four and seven. Complete and utter brats. And I love them to death.”

  Pat smiled. “Do you get to see them much?”

  “As much as I can. Eric, that’s my brother and his wife, Amy, live in Tampa about four minutes from my parents’ house.”

  “Convenient.”

  “I’m not sure if Amy thinks
so.”

  “Oh, is your mother one of those?” Pat asked as nicely as possible.

  “My mom is crazy nosy. She butts into everyone’s business and always thinks she knows best about everything. She can sew a dress without a pattern and makes the best lasagna you’ll ever taste. And she’d throw herself in front of a bus for anyone she loves.”

  “She sounds like a wonderful person.”

  “She is. She’s my best friend, well, besides my best friend Kate. You know how they say wait till you’re thirty and then all of a sudden your mom becomes the smartest person you know? Lucky for me I was only twenty-five when I figured it out so I’m five years ahead of everyone else.”

  “Lucky for her, too. Does she have plans for you to move back to Tampa someday?”

  Jenna chewed this over. “Not really. I mean, she just wants me to be happy, wherever that might be.” Of course, her mother’s version of happiness included a man.

  “And are you? Happy?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I have a great job and my aunt Viola is here, too, so it’s not like I don’t have some family around.”

  “Family is important,” Pat agreed.

  The buzzing sound of a cell phone interrupted their conversation. “Is that you?” Jenna asked pointing to the phone on the counter.

  “Yeah, that’s mine.” Pat glanced at the screen, but instead of picking up the call, she hit the reject button.

  “Telemarketers,” said Jenna. “Ugh! It used to be they only got you on landlines but now they’re everywhere.”

  Pat didn’t smile or say anything, giving Jenna the impression that something wasn’t right. “Is everything okay?”

  She looked away. “It’s not a telemarketer. It’s Carl.”

  “Does he need you to work tonight?”

  A soft little whimper escaped her. “No, it’s not that.”

  Jenna put her arm around the older woman who still wouldn’t meet her gaze. “What’s wrong?” Then she remembered the look Carl gave Pat at The Bistro, and everything suddenly made sense. Including Pat’s resistance to move to Miami. “So it’s like that, huh?” Jenna said gently.

  Pat sniffled and managed a nod. “He wants to marry me, but…it won’t work out.”

  “Why not? I mean, if that’s what you want, too?”

  “More than anything in the world.”

  “Does Ben know?”

  Pat shook her head vehemently as she wiped her eyes off with the edge of her shirt. “No. And he’s not going to find out, either.”

  “I don’t understand. Doesn’t he like Carl?”

  “He likes him well enough. But don’t you see? Ben gave up everything for me and Jake. He even put off college to join the army so he could help support us. And now that he’s made a big name for himself with that firm in Miami, I can’t ask him to give that up.”

  “Let me get this straight. Ben’s life is in Miami and Carl’s life is in Hopalinka?”

  Pat nodded. “Carl makes a decent leaving with the Stop and Go, but he doesn’t have enough saved to retire yet. Maybe in a few years he can sell the place and move to Miami, but right now…it’s just not feasible.” She straightened to her full height and put on a brave smile. “It’s okay. It’s Ben’s turn now. I’m going to be there one hundred percent for him and Rachel. I owe them that. And more.”

  It didn’t seem fair. To be forced to choose between the man you loved and your son and granddaughter. There had to be a better solution than the one Pat had chosen, but at the moment, Jenna couldn’t think of one. She wished she had something wise to say, but maybe this was one of those times when it best to say nothing. At least, for now.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The following morning Jenna was in her office, trying to enjoy her new ergonomic desk, when Ben called with the bad news. “We Gotcha, Inc isn’t cooperating. Apparently, this Stuart Malloy is a real pain in the ass.”

  “I thought you said you’d take care of it!”

  “I am and I will,” Ben said calmly over the phone. “I’m only telling you this because you made me promise that I’d keep you in the loop on every little thing. Malloy is probably holding out for more money, but he’ll give in eventually, because they all do.”

  “More money? Is Gavin trying to bribe him?”

  “That would be illegal. He’s trying to buy the company, which would give us some rights to the footage.”

  “You’re really going to buy the company?”

  “That’s always been the plan. You knew that.”

  “Yeah, but I thought you were just saying that… Ben, how much money do you have?”

  “I already told you I own a company that invests in growing businesses. We Gotcha, Inc is about to become one of those, whether they like it or not. If I have to buy it for more than it’s worth, then I’ll just use it as a tax right off. So it’s a win-win all around.”

  “This all sounds great, but meanwhile, how many people do you think have seen that footage?”

  “I’m sure no one has seen it.” Only he didn’t sound so confident now.

  “You’re kidding, right? Do you know how much We Gotcha charges to do security surveillance? If no one has seen it, then the city of Whispering Bay needs a refund.”

  He let out a big sigh. “All right. I admit, someone has probably seen it. But it was dark in the hallway and I’m pretty sure the camera wasn’t at the right angle to get more than just a fuzzy picture. There’s no way they can identify who we are.”

  “Oh my God. My mother will never be able to show her face at the Italian American club again.” A sudden and horrible image came to her. “What if someone from the company sends the video to one of those shows.”

  “What show?”

  “You know, America’s Craziest Videos, or something like that.”

  “Never going to happen. I’d sue their ass all the way to hell and back.”

  “What if they have a private party and show it to all their friends?”

  “Then I’ll make them sorry they ever watched it.”

  “And how do you propose to do that?”

  “I’ll…hire a hit man to poke all their eyes out.”

  Okay. So, yes, that was kind of funny. She cracked a smile. “Be serious.”

  “I am being serious.”

  She laughed a little.

  “That’s more like it, Red. Look, the fact that we haven’t heard anything is good. More than likely, whoever is actually watching the footage chalked it up to two people having a little bit of fun. Nothing was stolen. Nothing was damaged. There’s nothing for him to report except a case of trespassing. No big deal. That said, I’m still going to get the footage back. Okay? Right now, this is all I have Gavin working on, and he’s going to come through for us.”

  Us. She liked the way that sounded. If Ben believed in Gavin, then so did she. “Okay, I’ll try not to get hysterical again. At least not until tomorrow.”

  “Good.” She could sense his smile, which in turn made her smile.

  “How is Rachel? And your mom?”

  “They’re both fine. We’re going to Hopalinka this morning to help her finish packing. The trailer goes on the market first thing Monday morning.”

  This move to Miami was wrong for Pat. Jenna wished there was a way she could tell Ben what was going on without directly breaking his mother’s confidence. But he couldn’t be so completely blind to her feelings. He had to have some sort of clue. “This must stressful for your mom, huh?”

  “Not really. We’re packing up the personal stuff, and the realty company is taking care of the rest. She doesn’t have to lift a finger unless she wants to.”

  Not what Jenna was getting at.

  “I mean, it must be hard emotionally. Hopalinka has been her home for a long time, right? She’s going to miss her friends and…everything else there.”

  “She’ll make new friends.”

  Men could be so obtuse sometimes. “Change, even a good change, is hard for anyone, Ben.”
<
br />   “I guess.”

  Apparently she was going to have to spell it out for him. “Carl and her seem pretty close, don’t they?”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “I’m not getting at anything,” she lied. Just…open your eyes! She sighed. She’d done all she could do here. “So do you need help? I could take off this afternoon and I’m an awesome packer. You should see what I can do with a roll of masking tape.”

  She expected him to laugh, or at least make a dirty joke, but he didn’t. He was hesitating long enough that she began to feel strange. Just because they were having sex and he’d invited her to dinner with his family didn’t mean they were in a relationship.

  “I’m just trying to be a good friend,” she added, cringing.

  “Thanks, but it’s not necessary. Mom doesn’t have a whole lot to pack so there’s no need for you take off this afternoon. We’ll be done way before then.”

  Neither of them said anything.

  Why had the conversation suddenly turned so awkward?

  “I better get back to work now,” she said. He promised to call her as soon as he heard from Gavin.

  The rest of the day was spent working on a new grant proposal while trying to forget about her phone call with Ben. She’d just snapped her laptop shut and was preparing to head home when Mimi and Pilar came into her office.

  “It’s official,” Mimi said, “The Chamber of Commerce has an all-out campaign to drive me insane. Everyone with a business in this town is calling to tell me to vote yes on Nora’s deal. As if I wasn’t already!”

  “I checked with Denise,” Pilar said. “She’s a big yes and Larry has made his position crystal clear. Gus and I are definite no’s. Tomorrow is the big vote and we’re looking at another tie. Unless someone is willing to change their mind.”

  A week ago, Jenna would have absolutely said no to any sort of compromise over Earl’s estate (and she had, with her vote). His will stated that the land was to be used for public access and that was that. But if she looked at the situation logically, she had to admit that Larry’s position made sense. Mimi was under incredible pressure to make this deal go through. As city manager, Jenna wanted to support the mayor’s agenda. But she also wanted to honor Earl’s true intentions. She’d read all the depositions three times over. Doug Wentworth’s could be discounted, but Earl’s nurse Deedee claimed that old Earl had talked about giving his daughter some of that land and Jenna couldn’t discount that. Not anymore. Which meant for the first time since all this started, she was wavering on her position.