by B. M. Hardin
He reminded the congregation that no one was perfect and that all people sin and fall short of the glory of God.
But you must love them anyway and continue to pray for them.
Shelton even mentioned the part about if someone has wronged you, or if you have wronged anyone; that the Bible says that you should go and ask them for their forgiveness.
Shelton's eyes were on me the entire time that he spoke...as though in a way he was asking for me for my forgiveness.
What was he sorry about?
Shelton's natural glow was gone.
He looked so sad...or maybe he looked tired.
Either way; he was definitely not himself.
If I could see it...I was sure that everyone else could see it too.
Still yet, his preaching was still on point; just like it always was.
Church was over, and everyone mingled and talked with one another as if they didn’t have a care in the world.
More so than usual, I remained to myself.
I wasn’t really in much of a talking mood.
Shelton hugged me as soon as he stepped down from the pulpit.
It was a different kind of hug; long and lingering.
As though his body was trying to tell me something, that his mouth just couldn't say. After he released me, he continued on, greeting and speaking to the members and the guests.
Next, I handed off Mackenzie to one of the Mothers of the church, and headed to the bathroom.
Washing my face in cold water, I tried to collect my thoughts.
I was all in my feelings and I just couldn’t seem to pull myself together.
I felt like crying.
I felt like screaming.
And in a metaphorical kind of way; I felt like dying.
But I was sure that one way or the other, it wouldn’t solve anything.
Nothing could ease the pain that was in my heart.
For more reasons than I could begin to explain, I felt empty; I felt defeated.
It was times like this that I needed Mama’s advice and encouragement.
Lord knows I needed her.
She always had something positive to say.
She could always see the best out of a bad situation.
I just needed to know what to do.
I was feeling so strange; and not to mention that Shelton was still acting unusual.
He was still not quite his normal self.
Lately, he hadn’t said much; all he had done was pray.
Whether it was at home, or at the church, he was always praying.
He'd apologized to me for his behavior and for losing his temper, but I’d always known that he had it in him.
I guess trying to kill a man’s wife was enough to bring it out of anyone; even a man of God.
Checking my appearance once more in the bathroom mirror, I fixed my dress, and I turned around to head out the door.
But I was stopped dead in my tracks...
Dianna.
She looked at me; looking at her.
She was teary eyed, and she looked as though she hadn’t slept in a week.
There were so many mixed emotions running around inside of me all at once.
My mind was in so much of a whirlwind that I almost lost my balance.
I was unsure of what to say or what to do; or which one of my feelings to act on first.
Luckily, I didn’t have to.
“I didn’t do it. I swear it wasn’t me,” Dianna said as she went running out of the bathroom.
I wanted to chase after her but I couldn’t lift my feet off of the ground.
My thoughts were all over the place.
Why did I believe her?
But if she didn’t do it...then who did?
After a few more minutes, I was finally able to head back into the sanctuary.
I spotted Mackenzie being loved on and passed around from person to person, and then I spotted Shelton.
He was talking to someone at the back of the church.
Their backs were toward me, but from a distance, I would have thought that it was Dianna...only Dianna had been wearing a green dress.
This woman was wearing a red.
I waited for them to turn around but they never did.
Just as I headed in their direction, the woman proceeded with walking out of the church doors, and then and only then, did Shelton turn around.
He scanned the crowd as though he was looking for me, and when he found me, he smiled.
I ignored him and didn't return the gesture.
Lord...who was that woman?
~***~
“Dianna came by the church last Sunday, did you see her?” I asked Shelton as I rubbed his back.
We hadn’t exactly had too much time to talk here lately.
Tonight had been the first night that Shelton had actually come home at a decent time, and with Mackenzie already asleep, we had some time to ourselves.
Shelton turned over to look at me, and I motioned for him to lie back down on his stomach.
“What? When?” He asked concerned.
“She came into the bathroom. She was crying and she said that she didn’t do it; that she didn’t attack me. And call me crazy, but you know what? I think I believe her,” I said calmly.
“You do?” Shelton questioned.
In all honesty, I did.
Maybe the witness made a mistake.
“I think so. You didn’t see her? You were right near the door talking to that lady; she had to have run right by you,” I proclaimed, intentionally bringing up the woman.
“No, I didn’t see her; I must have been talking to a visitor...most likely the woman that wore the red dress. She went on and on about how much she enjoyed the service and planned to come back this Sunday. She had quite a few questions about forgiveness. And you know me; I get so caught up in talking about the Lord, that Dianna probably slipped right pass me,” Shelton stated in a somewhat exhausted tone.
With his voluntarily explanation about the woman, I concluded that there was nothing to worry about, so I felt there was no need to carry on the conversation.
Maybe we could do something that required a little less talking.
It had been a while since my husband had touched me in that way.
We hadn’t been intimate since the day before my attack, and that was pushing over a month ago.
I kissed Shelton’s back and then continued to rub his shoulders.
He didn’t say anything nor did he move, so I did it again.
Nothing.
I stopped rubbing and headed toward his ear and guess what…he snores.
“Shelton?” I called his name, but his snoring answered my call.
Maybe he really was tired.
Disappointed, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
As I showered, I made up in my mind that I was going to call Dianna the next day.
I figured that I would do just as Shelton had preached...forgive her, and actually get her side of the story.
With all the yelling and fussing that Shelton had done, she had barely been able to say a full sentence, so I wanted to give her a chance.
No, we would never be best friends or even friends again; but at least I could hear her out.
Since that day, we hadn’t heard from the police, and at this point, I was just ready to forget about the whole thing and move on.
I was okay, my family was okay, and really, that was all that truly mattered.
The soothing, warm water, washed away all of my worries and concerns.
For the first time in what seemed like such a long time, for some reason; I smiled.
God’s presence suddenly came over me and I felt nothing but peace.
Yes, everything was going to be just fine.
I got out of the shower, and didn’t bother to dry off.
Cutting off the bathroom light, I stepped into the bedroom.
I was just a little startled as I looked up and saw Shelton, sitting o
n the edge of the bed.
The room, now, smelled somewhat fruity.
There was music playing, softly, and rose petals all over the bed and the floor.
Shelton must have forgotten where I kept the candles, because he had taken the ones from the living room, lit them, and placed them in different spots around the room.
He fooled me; in a good way.
“Do you think it would be alright if I made love to my wife tonight?” Shelton asked me.
For some reason, tears began to fall from my eyes as I nodded.
God, I love this man.
I just wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
If I could have nothing else, that would be more than enough for me.
Shelton picked up my wet body and carried me to the bed.
And for the first time, since the night of our honeymoon, Shelton took his time with me.
He loved on me, caressed me, and didn’t dirty talk; not even once.
For the first time in a long time, he made love to me…like a Pastor.
The next morning, I decided to make him breakfast in bed.
It had been a while, especially since we had Mackenzie, that I had done little things like that for him.
He enjoyed and appreciated it so much, that he said that he was spending the entire day with his family.
No church business, no running here and there; it would just be us.
I was so excited that I found a hundred things for us to do but Shelton didn’t really mind.
We got out and about, did some shopping, and spent some much needed quality time together.
A little laughing and some bonding, was just what we both needed.
Shelton even got to see Mackenzie get her ears pierced.
After lunch, we decided to stop for ice cream and then head to the park.
It wasn’t unbearably hot, so it was the perfect day for a stroll around the lake, and to feed the ducks.
All was well.
All was fine; at least for a little while.
“Pastor Shelton?”
We both turned around to face the man blocking the sunlight.
He was a big, bald, chocolate black man, with enough muscles to have been a steroids spokesperson.
“What a surprise,” Shelton responded and extended his hand.
“How are you doing pretty lady? I’m an old buddy of your husband’s...John,” the man said and reached out his hand in my direction.
John---the man from the phone that day.
I shook his hand and gave him a fake grin.
He called himself a friend; apparently, he and Shelton weren’t on the same page about the whole friendship thing.
For a while, Shelton and John, small talked and then Shelton asked me to give him a second and he and the strange man walked off.
They walked far enough away to where I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
I had a funny feeling about this man.
Something about him made me feel like he couldn’t be trusted.
Taking a seat on the bench, I handed Mackenzie the remainder of her ice cream and searched my purse for my phone.
Glancing at Shelton and whoever he really was once more, I figured that now was as good as a time as any to call Dianna.
I called her twice but she didn’t pick up her cell; so I called her house.
No answer.
Not thinking much of it, I sent her a text asking her to call me as soon as she could.
I waited on her response, but it never came.
You would think that she would be interested in seeing what I had to say.
Unless...
Maybe reaching out to her wasn’t such a good idea.
Impatiently, I waited on Shelton to finish his private conversation.
Finally, the John walked away and Shelton headed back toward us.
“Come on honey, let’s go,” he said in a low voice.
“Huh…why?” I questioned him.
“Because I said so, that’s why. Look I’m sorry, let’s just go, okay?” Shelton asked the question, though he really didn’t care for my answer.
All of a sudden his mood had changed and I was sure that it had something to do with that man.
I didn’t know who he was, but I was surely going to make it my business to find out.
~***~
Shelton stayed home with Mackenzie while I ran to the grocery store.
I rushed in to get everything that I needed so that I could have a few extra minutes to make a quick stop.
I was going by Dianna’s house.
It had been over a week since I had called her, but she still hadn't gotten back to me.
I really wanted to give her a chance; to hear her out.
But more importantly; I wanted to know if she knew anything about John.
Trust me, if anyone knew who John was...she did.
That day after leaving the park, Shelton explained that once upon a time they could have been considered as friends, maybe.
But that John just a one of the many people that he chose to leave behind once he decided to fully dedicate his life to God.
I took his explanation for what it was, but I wasn’t stupid---it was more to that story.
I was sure that Shelton had no real plans on sharing the whole truth about their relationship, but I didn't need him to.
I would find out all by myself; all on my own.
Arriving at Dianna’s house, I discovered that it was no longer her house.
There was a For Rent sign in the yard.
She moved?
When?
Where?
Why?
Why would Dianna pick up and move?
She loved this house!
Realizing that it was about time to start making it back home before Shelton started to worry, I drove speedily away, all the while attempting to sort out my thoughts.
I wondered where Dianna had gone.
Where had she moved?
Was she still here in South Carolina?
Or was she gone?
Dianna had always loved her home.
Though she was only renting, being a single woman, living all alone, she'd always said that there, in that house and in that neighborhood, she felt safe.
I couldn't imagine why she would move anywhere else; unless she moved somewhere else; maybe even far, far away.
She was running from something.
Either Dianna was running because she was guilty; or she was running because she was innocent---and we, Shelton and I, had insulted and hurt her so much from our accusations, that she felt the only thing left to do was to go.
Either way, I wanted to find her; I needed to find her.
I just wanted to talk to her.
Just as I pulled into the drive way, Shelton was calling my cell phone.
I must have been gone a few minutes too long.
He had been extremely clingy lately.
He was even worse than he had been after my attack.
He was coming home early from the church. He wasn’t staying gone all day without calling. Actually, Shelton was calling darn near every chance that he got.
When I asked him if there was anything to be concerned about, he simply said that it was just time for him to get his priorities in order.
God and family were his top priorities.
Hey...I couldn’t argue with that.
That night, Dianna was the star of the show in my dreams.
I dreamed of her crying and driving down a highway with a car full of her belongings. In my dreams she was doing the exact same thing that I had done when I left my past behind in Texas.
The whole dream, she kept repeating over and over that she didn’t do it.
Though I was the victim, I felt so sorry for her.
Even though I didn't want to...I did.
The next morning, as soon as I opened my eyes, I tried calling her again, but she still didn’t answer.
Then, I decided to call
the Charlotte police just to see if there was anything new; any leads or more information from the witness.
But there wasn’t.
Just to be sure, I asked them to double check with the witness to make sure that he described the woman to the best of his ability. They promised that they would give it another shot.
It was worth another try.
I made sure that I told Shelton that I was going into town later on that day.
I told him that I was going to the Farmers Market and to a few other places; but I lied.
Really, I was going to Dianna’s fathers’ church; Shelton’s home church...
St. John Missionary Baptist Church.
I was going to ask him if he had seen or heard from Dianna.
It was a Friday; but if he was anything like Shelton, I was sure that he was at the church. After all, he had been Shelton's mentor for years, and I could only assumed that Shelton was only following his actions; or at least doing what he had been shown that Pastor's do.
Pulling up in front of the church, I could see that God was truly in the blessing business.
The church was breathtakingly beautiful.
I hadn’t seen it in about two years, but it definitely wasn’t the same old church that used to sit on that corner.
It had been remodeled and it looked absolutely amazing.
Though I'd been by it a few times, I had never been inside.
Since this church was Baptist and our church was Non-Denominational, we didn’t fellowship as much as we probably should have.
And Shelton had never mentioned going back to visit; nor had Dianna’s father Bishop Clarence Forney, ever come to see Shelton in action.
I always found that strange, but I tried my best to stay out of Pastor related business.
But if I had to guess; I was putting my money on the fact that the Bishop probably wasn't exactly too happy with Shelton's sudden departure...or that Shelton took Dianna with him.
Walking through the church doors, the inside was just as stunning as the outside.
It was as if they were trying to get as close to looking like Heaven as they possibly could.
Everything was so grand; white and gold.
“Hello, can I help you?” a scruffy voice said from behind me.
“Oh hi, I’m looking for Bishop Clarence,” I said, genuinely smiling at the older gentleman.
“Well you’ve found him, how can I help you young lady?” he asked shaking my hand.
“Well, I’m Shelton’s wife, Maxine, and I was wondering if you had seen or heard from your daughter...Dianna? I tried calling her but she hasn’t returned my calls. I went by her place also, but she has moved,” I told him.