Clear As Day

by Babette James

  She set the sack on the table and pulled out a package of steak. That needed to get into the cooler. Nate and she could talk tonight, before bed, when the day settled down.

  “Kay, what’s going on?” JoAnn stepped between Kay and the first ice chest.

  She sidestepped JoAnn and popped the lid on the yellow cooler. “What do you mean? I’m putting groceries away.”

  “I mean you and Nate. Sweetie, you’ve been real quiet ever since he announced his news. Spill it. What’s going on?”

  She looked away. “Nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s going on. I’m happy for him. Mother’s news just surprised me.” She emptied the sack.

  JoAnn pinned Kay with a look. “You’re not having second thoughts about Nate?”

  “Of course not.” Kay shut the cooler and looked away, clenching her hand around his ring. No second thoughts at all, she was already onto third, fourth, fifth…

  “Kay, he’s the perfect guy for you. He loves you.”

  “I know.” She pushed away the memory of Olivia’s mentioning how everyone told her R.J. was perfect for her. This was not the same.

  “You said that like there’s a ‘but’ you wanted to add. Talk. Let me help.”

  Kay sighed and shrugged. She should tell her. Think of it as warm-up practice for later. “Nate’s wonderful. I just never thought about getting married, never intended…and now, well…there’s just so much to think about. So much we don’t know about each other. He really caught me by surprise.”

  JoAnn patted Kay’s shoulder. “It’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times. And both of you being total free spirits for so many years, changing gears from single to couple can’t be easy. You two need to sit down and talk to each other. You know Nate’s easy to talk to. And I think you’ll find it easier than you believe.” She smiled encouragingly. “As an old married lady, that’s my number-one advice to you. Talk to him. It works.”

  “Lloyd listens?”

  JoAnn’s laughter poured out. “Most of the time. But we talk.”

  Kay twisted the plastic sack straps in her fingers. “Jo?” She pried her question out. “How did you know marrying Lloyd was the right thing to do? After, well, after…” Old habit, avoiding Reeves’s name.

  “Because I love him and I chose to be happy. Yeah, marrying again was a risk, and trusting wasn’t easy, considering how badly I’d chosen before. I could have been fooled again.” She blinked away tears. “Yeesh, the munchkin is making me a watering pot. But Lloyd, I knew he was what I was missing. I’ve learned the hard way what love is and what it isn’t. He’s a good man and he proves himself every day, just by being.” She smiled sweetly and traced her fingertips in soothing strokes over the ripening curve of her belly where her and Lloyd’s child grew. For JoAnn the changes had been all for the good.

  Still caressing her belly, JoAnn winked mischievously. “Now, does that mean he doesn’t make me insane some days? Does that mean we never butt heads? No, but we work through it. We make it work. And it’s love that makes us fix it. It’s love that gets us through the hurtful, crazy days. We’re happy. So, talk to Nate. He loves you.”

  She gripped Kay’s shoulders and stared her straight in the eyes. “And Kay? Please take this as I mean it in the very nicest way, because I’ve known you forever, but your mother is a fricking selfish bitch and you need to stop letting her push your buttons. Trust Nate. Trust yourself. Starting today. Okay?”

  Kay had no answer. She forced a smile. “Okay.”

  JoAnn held her in place and shook her head. “Talk to him. I mean it.”

  “Damn it, Jo, would you sit down and put your feet up?” Lloyd stomped over.

  “We’ll talk.” Kay grabbed Lloyd’s diversion and edged back from JoAnn.

  “Good.” JoAnn grabbed a bottle of water from the blue cooler. “Just getting water, hon. I swear, you’re worse than a broody hen. I’ve been sitting all day.”

  “I would have gotten it for you.” He steered JoAnn over to her chair, grumbling under his breath the whole way until JoAnn had her feet up and he’d rearranged the shade.

  As Kay busied herself along with Olivia and Margie setting out the chips, dips and other snacks, she worked on her mental list.

  First, Nate needed to be clear she couldn’t just up and leave her job on a whim. Second, she had the shows lined up. Third, if he was going to be jaunting about the South Pole, he had to understand she didn’t want to be alone in a strange house in a strange state without a job and without friends.

  Wait. Why was she thinking as if yes meant she had to move this instant? He hadn’t said that. A shudder of relief rippled through her. She was freaking out without relying on facts. He was going to be traveling for months. They’d lost the time they’d planned to spend together, but they could still work on talking.

  This might all work.

  ****

  Nate shot a glance over to Kay. She was laughing along with JoAnn, Olivia and Patti at one of Dave’s outrageous fish tales. The pinched look was gone, and she’d had a few light beers, so that had to be helping. Olivia looked to be holding up good so far, but JoAnn and Kay were keeping close.

  Everyone had sunk their chairs into the shallows to beat the heat. The guys and he had shifted the canopies and a table out into the water, as well, so they all sat in the shade with the lake lapping around their legs, drinks in hand, and chips, pretzels, and dips passed around between talking, swimming, and prepping the food for supper.

  Nate snagged Kay the next time she returned to her chair and tugged her into his lap.

  She gave a surprised yelp and a giggle and relaxed into his arms.

  “You want to talk now?”

  She wrinkled her nose, thoughts flickering over her face. “It can wait until later. When we have peace and quiet. Which—” She waved her hand about at their chattering friends. “Is not happening for a while.”

  “We can nip over to our camp.”

  “No, this is fine. You deserve to celebrate with everyone. I’m just sorry you have to leave so fast.”

  He ignored the sick turn to his stomach and kissed her. “Me too. Very much.”

  Lloyd and Dave started up the grills. Dave ordered the ladies to kick back and have another drink and the men gathered, heads together, fussing over the steaks and arguing whether they had marinated long enough, and just who was in charge of cooking them.

  Somehow, despite the long and friendly squabbling, the foil packs of vegetables got roasted, the steaks grilled, the salad made, and the table set. More beers opened. A soft, cheerful mix of music played in the background. The sun sank into a blazing sunset and vivid twilight. The citronella candles added their scent to the evening. Plates were loaded and handed around amidst happy chatter.

  JoAnn tapped on an empty pickle jar with her knife. “Your attention please.”

  Everyone looked expectantly to her, and the hubbub settled.

  She raised her seltzer. “A toast to my friends, both old and new. I’m so glad you’re all here.”

  “Hear, hear!” Mark said. “To good friends.”

  Cans and cups were raised and clinked. “To good friends.”

  Lloyd stood, going red in the face, but his eyes were fierce and his smile beaming. “I’ll make this quick, but I got to say it. Here’s to Jo, my lovely wife, who makes my life perfect, whether I like it or not.” He laughed. “I love you and our munchkin.” He raised his can. “And now to my buddy, Nate, and his awesome news, and to Kay, his even more awesome lovely lady. Congratulations, Nate and Kay!”

  The chorus of congratulations and friendly razzing rang out again.

  “Thanks, Lloyd.” Nate grinned and stood. He glanced at Kay and, at her smile, a storm of love and frustration churned over him, tangling his thoughts and tongue, and he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “To quote F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘I love her and that’s the beginning of everything.’” He raised his beer. “So, here’s to my beautiful Kay, the woman I love, and the beginning of the
rest of our lives.” His voice cracked as emotion got the better of him. He pinned her with his gaze and, shoving down the swell of guilt, willed her to understand, to believe.

  Cheers and clapping broke out. Kay blinked, looking ready to cry or laugh, or both, behind her smile.

  Nate kissed her and sat back down.

  JoAnn wiped away a happy tear. “You’re all making a hormonal woman cry. So, now, let’s eat. Munchkin and I are starving.”

  They all happily set into polishing off the delicious meal.

  “So, Kay, you and Nate made any progress on plans? Where, how and when and all that?” Pippa asked.

  Nate closed his hand over Kay’s. “Naw, not yet. Whatever Kay wants is fine by me.”

  Kay released a relieved breath. He squeezed her hand. They would work this out.

  “Our Nate’ll look cute all dolled up in a tux. I’d pay to see that.” Patti leaned back in her chair and gave him an appraising look.

  “Oh, yeah,” all the women said simultaneously.

  Dave snorted and Scott just cackled with laughter. Lloyd, Mark, and Christopher broke into deep belly laughs.

  Heat burned Nate’s face. He took a long draw on his beer and then pointed the can at his buddies. “Laugh it up, guys. I might be willing to see you all in baby pink cummerbunds and bowties. What do you think, Kay? Lloyd and Dave in pink? And white tuxes of course.” He laughed wickedly and drawled out his next words. “Remember ruffled shirts, Dave? Oh, yeah, those could happen.”

  The giggles caught Kay, and she could only nod and fight not to snort out the mouthful of beer she’d just taken.

  JoAnn winked. “Kay, how much would it take to make this happen? I can write you a check right now.”

  “Over Nate’s dead body,” Lloyd fake-growled.

  Margie smiled blissfully at Christopher. “We had a lovely wedding. Small, in Mom and Dad’s backyard.”

  Christopher grinned and raised her hand to his lips for a kiss. “Your Aunt Ida’s cake was the best ever. And your dad’s barbeque.”

  Margie beamed with pride. “There’s a good reason our family restaurant’s been voted best in the county since before I was born.” She blushed and straightened her shoulders. “I may not be able to skin a catfish, but I’m heck on wheels with a menu and seating plan.”

  That stopped all the joking and jumpstarted all the reminiscing and showering Kay and Nate with wedding and honeymoon ideas.

  Dave broke through the torrent, “Hey, we’re close enough, how about Vegas? Hit one of those Elvis chapels. Hell, we could drive up there tomorrow. Get the deed done. Party a little there, get back here for supper and party on. What better place to celebrate than the place you two first met? This very beach. What do you say?” Dave fixed Nate with dead serious eyes in his grinning face.

  JoAnn flicked a pretzel at Dave. “Kay needs a dress, silly. We’d have to go shopping first. And find a salon. We are not rushing this.”

  “So? No problemo. You gals hit the stores. We’ll hit a casino, maybe a barber and get that hamster shaved off Nate’s face for Kay. Next stop, Elvis and the deal’s done. Fun, no fuss, no muss.” He laughed in wicked good humor.

  Rich high-fived Dave. “Excellent idea.”

  The disbelieving look on Kay’s face was priceless. Nate burst out laughing and hurried to relieve her. “Hell, no, Dave. You know my mom. Could you imagine the grief I’d get?”

  Honestly, he’d never focused on the how. Yeah, vague images of the church back home and highlights of his sister’s wedding had ebbed and flowed around his imagination, but he’d figured Kay and her friends would want to decide on the exact details, and he was good with that. And, no, a quickie hitching in Vegas had never been one of the daydreams.

  The look on Kay’s face grew thoughtful.

  His heart bumped with astonishment and hope.

  She was actually considering it?

  ****

  The whirlwind of memories and ideas set off the cool sinking in Kay’s gut again.

  Was she the only woman in the world who had never dreamed about what she wanted for a wedding? Never imagined herself walking down an aisle in white or looking up at a man and believing in the “I do”?

  Her sister had planned countless weddings for her Barbie and Ken dolls, devoured bridal magazines with Mother, and had grown up to have the picture-perfect marriage from hell.

  Kay had explored the wildernesses of their various backyards with her Barbies and managed those expeditions just fine without Ken and stashed Dad’s old National Geographics, Arizona Highways, and Field and Streams under her bed.

  She forced her thoughts away from her confusion and attempted to focus on Nate’s reactions to the ideas. What did he want out of this proposal of his for a wedding? She’d always nebulously supposed he was a service-in-a-church kind of guy. But Nate never said, just genially enjoyed all the suggestions and rolled along with the jokes, seeming to take none of it seriously or completely dismiss anything, except for his protest on his mom’s behalf, not even Dave’s crazy Vegas idea.

  She could see how his mom might not be happy about that one. Her own mother would be mortified.

  But why not do something unconventional? From moment one, nothing about their spontaneous relationship had ever been conventional. If she stopped worrying about everything, the event could be fun. Memorable. Something she could make her very own, despite all the commercial frivolity and glitz.

  Dave’s crazy Vegas idea was strangely, scarily perfect. What better way than to do it surrounded by the people she cared most about? The people she really…

  Dizziness swept her. Oh, wow, what was she doing? He was leaving on Sunday. Flying away again.

  “I have something to say.” Olivia rose to her feet and raised her cup, the vodka and tonics bringing out the touch of sweet Southern belle in her voice. “I just want to say thank you. For everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you all. And now…I well, ah, thank you all, for being a friend.” She sat hurriedly, flushed and eyes lowered in embarrassment.

  Mark set off the clapping. Dave toasted her with his beer, “Go for it, Florida.” Patti and Margie hugged Olivia.

  “You have been assimilated,” intoned Chuck in his best Borg voice, but he couldn’t keep a straight face for long and cracked up laughing.

  JoAnn tapped the pickle jar again. “Okay, time to wash up before any of you hit more beer and the Munchkin wants s’mores again, pronto. Okay?”

  “Yes, Mama Jo.” Nate chuckled and heaved himself up from the chair. He held out his hand to Kay. “Care to join me in scrubbing a pan or two?”

  Many hands made short work of the dirty dishes. Dave built the fire. Soon marshmallows were toasting, and folks were back to drinking, talking, and dancing.

  Kay took a break from dancing with Nate to catch her breath and toast a marshmallow.

  Olivia settled on the chair next to Kay. She took a long sip of her drink, her eyes on Dave and Nate making goofs of themselves singing a duet of “I’ve Had the Time of My Life.”

  But while Nate might be joking around with Dave as they sang, he had his eyes locked on Kay, singing every word to her.

  Kay blinked back the pricking moisture in her eyes and nibbled at her piping hot marshmallow on a stick, guilty and delighted.

  Olivia laid her head back heavily. “Dave’s got a beautiful voice. So nice.” Her own soft voice was blurred from drinking her tall but stiff vodka and tonics. “Like, like pralines and bourbon. You’re so lucky, Kay. Nate’s so fun. A good guy, through and through.”

  Happiness rushed over Kay. He was a great guy, and she was very lucky.

  So, tell him yes.

  “Kay?” Anxiety trembled in Olivia’s plaintive question.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m so scared about all this. Am I doing the right thing?”

  Oh, she was the last person to ask about doing the right thing. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Kay looked away into the bright heat of the fire to
pause as she worked on an answer. “I think the right thing is different for every person.”

  Olivia’s quiet, slurred voice trembled with pain and anger. “I can’t live with the cheating anymore. I loved him and he…he…I just can’t live like this, like some doll, some doormat anymore.” She scrubbed at her fresh tears with the heel of her hand. “Guess I answered my question.”

  Not knowing what else to do or say, Kay patted Olivia’s hand.

  Olivia curled her hand around Kay’s and held on like she was drowning.

  The night grew late and the party wound down to lazy conversation, the music long over and CD player forgotten, but everyone remained too jazzed over Nate’s excellent news, their sort of engagement, and Olivia’s determination to pull herself up by the bootstraps, to call it a night.

  Kay excused herself for a bathroom break and ended up turning the necessary trip into a long walk up the hill to the rocky jut of land dividing Spider Camp and High Water to get some air away from the crowd and clear her head for a moment.

  She felt itchy, both happy to spend time with her friends and stifled as if she were wrapped in a wool blanket. She’d had too much to drink and a light buzz going, but not close to enough beer to wash the worries away or relax and confidently spill her guts to Nate and hash things out once and for all. However, the evening was drawing to a close, and they would go back to her camp. Ready or not, the talk was creeping inexorably closer.

  Kay walked to the end of the small point. A pleasant breeze rippled off the lake, keeping most of the mosquitoes and no-see-ums at bay. Scattered bursts of laughter and muddled conversation rose from Spider Camp and reminded her she’d better head back down before Nate worried.

  A man’s low, laughing words broke the quiet.

  Down below in the notch of a cove that was High Water, Nate and Olivia walked along the water’s edge. Olivia pulled the ribbon from her hair and she whirled to Nate, fell against his chest, and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around Olivia and dragged her hard against him, and she laughed with delight.