A Painted Smile

by B. M. Hardin

  Briefly, staring at the room made me think about my first year working in daycare.

  Oh how I loved it.

  Some would say that I was obsessed with kids…and they would be right.

  I loved everything about them.

  The way they smelled. The way they looked. The way they smiled in their sleep. I just loved them.

  My first year at the daycare, I’d gotten the name as the baby whisperer.

  It was as though I had the magic touch. If a baby was too fussy, I could calm them down. If they were fighting sleep, I could use a few of my tricks that would put them to sleep in an instant.

  One particular day, I’d been holding the most adorable, cutest Hispanic baby all day.

  And yes, her name was Kylie.

  Oh she was being so fussy. She screamed and cried all day and even I couldn’t calm her down. I was rocking her, playing with her, trying to comfort her but nothing was working. She didn’t have a fever and she wasn’t teething. She wasn’t wet and she wasn’t hungry. I’d guess that it was just one of those days.

  Finally after hearing her cry for hours, in my arms she fell asleep.

  I laid her down in one of the cribs but the only bad part about it was…she didn’t wake back up.

  They pronounced it as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

  To be a mother coming to pick up her child only to find out that she’d taken a nap and would never wake up again was something I couldn’t imagine.

  Of course I took it pretty hard.

  I was the last one to hold her alive. I was the last person she saw. She was trying to tell me all day that something was wrong but I couldn’t help her.

  She was trying to tell me and I ignored her.

  I failed her.

  I felt guilty and it took a while for me to forgive myself. I had to take a month away from work to recover but instead of feeling like I never wanted to be around kids again, I felt the opposite. I wanted to make sure that I was always there to help as many of them as I could.

  I had to be there to take care of them.

  And now I would have twins that I had to be there for and take care of.

  The sudden ring of the phone caused me to jump.

  It was Jasper.

  It was time to bring our babies home.

  And boy did I like the sound of that!

  *********

  ~If you get a second chance…don’t hesitate…take it!~

  ~Anonymous

  Chapter Seven

  “Have I ever told you thank you?”

  I looked at Jasper.

  “For what?”

  “For everything. For being here. For helping me with the kids. For staying when I know that you really wanted to go.”

  I meditated on Jasper’s words for just a second.

  The truth was that he was one lucky son of a gun.

  I didn’t even pretend that if it had not been for the kids that I would have still been there because the truth was I would have left him.

  He’d told one lie too many.

  But since we now had three month old twins, I’d forgiven him a long time ago.

  “I love you. I really do love you.”

  I smiled at him.

  I couldn’t remember the last time that we’d been intimate with each other. Hell, I hadn’t even let him touch me without flinching.

  Maybe it was time to give in to some of my desires and take care of some of my own personal needs. Trust me, Mrs. Vagina, reminded me daily that she hadn’t been touched and I wasn’t sure of how much longer she would be able to go without getting serviced.

  But since I’d forgiven him I might as well make the best of our marriage.

  I touched his hand and I could tell that just a simple touch from me had made his day.

  The twins had all of our time, especially mine.

  Since I owned a daycare, of course they went to work with me every day and being that Jasper was still a police officer, I had them pretty much all the time.

  I wasn’t complaining though.

  I absolutely loved them. They meant everything to me and I was enjoying being their Mama.

  Speaking of the word Mama, as for my Mama, I’d been ignoring her and avoiding her as much as possible.

  I’d only seen her twice in the last few months and I still hadn’t told her about the twins, nor had I invited her to our new home.

  I’d been trying to find the right words to say and it never seemed to be the right time.

  But nevertheless, I missed her and Daddy so it was time that I come clean about a few things.

  At least come clean about the kids.

  Everything else was none of their business.

  I stopped thinking about Mama and turned my attention back to Jasper.

  I’ll admit here lately Jasper and I had been getting along better than ever.

  I know most said that when children come into the picture a strain comes on the relationship but it has actually made Jasper and I closer.

  We were talking again like we used to and we were frequently laughing with each other.

  I learned that he was still the same person that I fell in love with. Though he was definitely a man of secrets, lies and a closet full of skeletons, he was still just Jasper…my Jasper.

  At this point, I was willing to let the past go and look toward the future.

  I stood up and tugged on Jasper’s hand.

  I led him to the nursery to check on the kids.

  They were both sound asleep. I’d given then a lavender bath, fed them and used a psychological trick that I’d learned on them to calm them and help them rest, so my guess was that they would sleep for a while.

  After we kissed both babies, we headed to our bedroom.

  I could sense that Jasper was uneasy.

  I could tell that he didn’t know what his next move should be or if he should even make one.

  He’d been walking around on egg shells for the last few months, hoping that I wouldn’t change my mind and leave him but tonight I would assure him that I was here to stay.

  “Is there anything else that you need to tell me Jasper? Anything at all? Whether it’s past or present or possibly future? I swear I will leave you if you ever lie to me again. But here, right now, if you tell me we can talk through it and I promise I will forgive you. So, is there anything else that you need to tell me?” I asked him sitting on our bed.

  We’d been through enough already.

  We hadn’t had much time to actually be happy and enjoy our marriage because of all of the issues and I was done with the problems and the out of nowhere truths unfolding.

  It was either now or never for us.

  “Storm there is nothing else that would jeopardize our marriage. On the lives of our kids, there’s nothing else that you need to know that I haven’t told you. It’s just us now; you, me and the kids---just us.”

  I studied his face.

  It wasn’t as if I could tell if he was telling the truth just by looking at it because his face and eyes had misled me before, but I stared at him for a few minutes anyway.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes okay,” I said to him and motioned for him to come closer to me.

  “Kiss me.”

  “Really?” Jasper questioned and I smiled and shook my head yes.

  He did as I’d instructed and I at that moment I could tell that he had been released all of his baggage.

  His kiss was full of fire as if he was free from all of the things that he’d been lying to me about.

  And it showed in his kisses.

  I could tell that he had been holding back from me this whole time whether he meant to or not.

  Jasper didn’t stop there. He surprised me even more when he ripped off my clothes. And I do mean literally ripped off my clothes.

  He was an animal and I liked it.

  He growled and talked dirty…and I liked it.

  Yeah, I was planning to go all romantic and
make love to him, but I could definitely get down with this type of action.

  “I love you Storm.”

  “I love you too Jasper.”

  And with the completion of my sentence, no other words were spoken and Jasper gave me the best sex of my entire life.

  And that wasn’t an exaggeration.

  ***

  “What happened to you seeing me before you left?”

  I was speaking to Zara for the first time in months. She hadn’t called me the day that she moved not that I would have gotten it since I’d been at the hospital with Jasper and the twins.

  Since then I’d been really busy and hadn’t talked to her or Simon. But neither of them had reached out to me either, and I definitely wanted to know why.

  “I’m sorry. I meant to but I ended up being pressed for time. How are you?”

  “I’m okay. A lot has gone on. For starters, Jasper, well we have twins.”

  I exhaled.

  It felt good to tell someone the truth.

  Some of Jasper’s friends and colleagues knew but no one on my end knew the truth.

  Not even my staff at work.

  I’d told them that they were my god children.

  “What do you mean you have twins?”

  I explained the entire situation to her from beginning to end. I filled her in on everything about Jasper and I as well as his ex-wife’s decision to leave her kids.

  “Oh God, I can’t believe you have gone through all of that. I should have been there for you. And Jasper’s ex-wife or whatever she is should be ashamed of herself. What kind of woman just abandons her kids like that? Hold on Storm, Shannon can you bring me something to drink?”

  Shannon?

  Did Zara just say Shannon?

  “Zara who is Shannon?”

  “Oh, well, I had been meaning to tell you before I left but Shannon is, well, my…girlfriend---I guess. Before you judge me, I know that this isn’t me and maybe it’s a phase but I’d been seeing her while I was there and when she accepted a job here, after a while she offered me to move here with her. I was dying for a change of scenery and I wanted to explore my life so, I came with her.”

  I know damn well that Zara wasn’t talking about Jasper’s ex-wife Shannon.

  I’d only referred to her as ex-wife the entire time that we’d been talking, but it just couldn’t possibly be the same one.

  That just couldn’t be possible…could it?

  Not to mention that she called her Shannon her girlfriend?

  What!

  “Say something Storm.”

  “Well, um, I think that it’s just a phase. That’s not who you are Zara. You’ve just been going through a lot. And you were lonely. But whatever makes you happy I guess. Why didn’t you ever introduce me to her?”

  “Well, we’d met a while ago and we were just being friendly, it was all innocent at least on my end and then on one of those lonely nights...we kind of had a night. Then shortly after, she had to come out here to start a new job and I didn’t see her for a few months until we decided to become exclusive and she invited me out here to move with her.”

  My mind was racing all over the place.

  Could it be her?

  If she’d lied and told Zara that she’d moved, it could have been to hide the pregnancy. A few months gave her just enough time to have them. She had twins so I’m sure that she knew that they were going to be taken or delivered early. It was cutting it close by having them just the day before Zara was scheduled to leave. It makes sense now why she absolutely had to leave them at the hospital knowing that Zara would be headed for California.

  No, that was too farfetched.

  It just couldn’t be her.

  I could hear her talking in the background but I couldn’t hear her voice as clear as I’d wanted to.

  If I could just hear her voice I would know for sure if it was her or not.

  “Well, let me officially introduce myself to her Zara, don’t be rude.”

  Zara briefly told her who I was and handed her the phone.

  “Hello?”

  It was her!

  I couldn’t believe it! It was really her!

  “What the hell is going on here? You mean to tell me that you are in a relationship with one of my best friends? Now it makes sense as to why you didn’t love Jasper. It’s because you love women. But you lied to her. You weren’t at a job in California months before her, you were here. She doesn’t know about the babies does she? She doesn’t know that you know me at all does she? Or the fact that you are Jasper’s ex-wife?”

  “It’s so nice to finally speak to you Storm. I’ve heard so much about you. Zara talks about you all the time. Maybe I’ll get the pleasure of meeting you one day. Oh, and she set you up a guest bedroom. She said that you made her promise,” Shannon said formally as if she didn’t know me from a can of paint.

  This woman was crazy!

  And I do mean the real kind of crazy.

  I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it all but Shannon’s sudden chuckle threw me for a loop.

  She laughed as if I’d told her a joke and then responded.

  “Don’t worry, they are all yours,” she said and I assumed she was talking about the twins.

  After her comment, she returned the phone to Zara.

  “So, what do you think?”

  I had no idea how to answer that question so I simply told a lie.

  “She’s nice, I guess. But as I said, you’re just going through a phase.”

  I debated all day about whether or not I wanted to tell Jasper about what was going on with Zara and his ex-wife.

  I almost couldn’t believe it all myself.

  First of all, Zara wasn’t into women.

  She loved sex and penis way too much. I know she’d been going through a lot and maybe it was just some kind of mid-life crisis but more than ever, now, I was definitely concerned about her. She couldn’t possibly be in love with Shannon. She was just lonely. But I couldn’t say the same as to what Shannon was feeling.

  Shannon had gone to the extreme to lie to Zara. She’d hid her pregnancy and took a job in another state in hopes of ensuring that Zara never found out.

  Hell, as crazy as it is, if you ask me, with all of the effort, maybe Shannon was madly in love with her.

  I’m just saying.

  And I see why she’d said that she hasn’t loved Jasper in years and even why she’d said that she hated his sex.

  He simply wasn’t her type.

  Not by a long shot.

  But all in all, she was still the twin’s birth mother. I was sure that she didn’t want them, but she was a little too close to home for me by being with Zara and let’s face it, she couldn’t be trusted.

  Hell between her and Jasper, I didn’t know which one lied or told half-truths the most!

  I was so confused by it all.

  I could feel it in my gut that something was going to go terribly wrong. I didn’t know how, and I didn’t know when, but something was just going to go wrong…soon.

  I decided that maybe leaving Jasper out of the loop for now was for the best.

  But one thing was for sure, and that was that I was going to be checking up on Zara a lot more often from now on.

  After my little spilling of the beans to Zara, I figured that it was time to tell my parents the truth as well.

  Sunday, I decided to invite them over for dinner.

  “The house is beautiful!” Mama squealed walking in the door.

  She kissed my cheeks and then hugged me tightly. And then Daddy followed in pursuit by mimicking Mama’s actions. They both smiled as they looked around.

  The sudden whine of Kylie caused Mama and Daddy to look at me. I didn’t say one word I simply headed to the nursery with the both of them right behind me.

  We entered the nursery and Mama gasped.

  “Storm when? I thought you said you miscarried?”

  “I did.”

  “Then who?” She asked a
s I picked up Kylie and rocked her back and forth.

  “They are Jasper’s…and legally mine too.”

  Mama and Daddy looked at me confused.

  “Yes. Jasper and I had broken up once, before we were married and as a result of it, he’d had a drunken night and they are the evidence of that night. We weren’t together at the time, and now it’s something that we have to deal with.”

  Mama looked more than displeased. Daddy looked as though he didn’t really care one way or the other.

  “Two of them?” Mama asked as she heard junior start to cry. I’m assuming that she hadn’t noticed the double of everything in the room before.

  “Yes, Mama, I said they. Two of them. Twins, one boy and one girl.”

  I could tell that Mama had so many questions that she wanted to ask, but I just told her what I thought was necessary.

  “The mother doesn’t want to be in the picture, she gave up all rights. So, they are my kids now Mama and they always will be.”

  Surprisingly, Mama didn’t say a word.

  She simply handed her purse to Daddy and headed to pick up Jasper Jr.

  Well, it didn’t go as bad as I’d expected.

  Although I knew that Mama would have a ton of things to say, at this point, I just wanted to be done with the past, done with lying, and just focus on the things that matter the most.

  Myself, my husband, my kids…and Zara.

  ***

  Six months or so flew by and it was a day before our one year wedding anniversary.

  What can I say?

  Our first year of marriage definitely wasn’t like most.

  I would say it was one of the worst first years of marriage ever, in history, but the twins brought a rainbow after the storm.

  They were getting so big.

  And they were so adorable too. Both of them were splitting images of Jasper so we were positive that they were indeed his without a shout of doubt.

  I couldn’t explain how much joy they brought me on a daily basis. I was so thankful for them.

  I’d gotten pregnant again a while ago and around the same amount of weeks I had a miscarriage, again, so it was looking as though I wouldn’t be having a baby of my own.

  But surprisingly I wasn’t as disappointed as I usually would have been and I had the twins…and Shannon to thank for that.

  Speaking of Shannon, Zara was still as distant as the distance.