Beautiful Carnage: A Dark Mafia Bully Romance (The Boys of Sinners Bay Book 1)

by Caroline Peckham

  We ran across the snow, the cold biting at my skin and making me wish for a coat. Sloan must have been frozen in my shirt with her feet bare but there was nothing I could do about it. We just had to make it to the shed and we’d be fine. She’d be fine. I wasn’t going to let those fucking stronzos take her from me.

  Gunfire punctured the silence as we made it to the trees and Sloan screamed in panic as I yanked her on faster. We dashed between wide trunks and the light of the sun was stolen from us as the forest swallowed us whole.

  Frankie and Enzo raced on ahead as I was slowed by Sloan.

  She stumbled, crashing into me and righting herself by pressing her hands to my back.

  “I can carry you,” I offered, turning to her as she pulled her hand from mine.

  My heart stilled as I found her glaring up at me with the pistol she’d snatched from my waistband aimed straight at my chest.

  My lips parted as she raised her chin, flicking the safety catch off. “I won’t forget it a second time,” she growled.

  “You want to shoot me, bella?” I asked, looking into those big brown eyes and finding nothing but determination shining from them.

  “Why shouldn’t I?” she demanded.

  For a long moment I could only stare at her. At this perfect little creature who had slipped past every wall I’d ever put up around my heart and burrowed her way beneath my skin. In my desperation to keep her with me, I hadn’t even considered the idea that she might really not want to stay by my side. Not now that she knew the truth about me.

  “Well if you’re going to do it then make sure you aim for the heart. Because you’re taking it with you if you leave me anyway,” I said.

  Her upper lip peeled back and I tossed my own pistol aside, holding my arms out to my sides as I took a slow step towards her. I stopped with her pistol pressed right against my chest and for a moment I could have sworn something more than hurt and rage flickered in her gaze, but she banished it just as quickly.

  “You don’t have a heart, Rocco,” she hissed and those words echoed right down to the darkest recesses of my blackened soul.

  “I would have agreed with you not so long ago,” I said. “But you found it. You made it beat and race and ache. It’s yours. And if everything we’ve been through was always going to lead me here, then I still wouldn’t change it. I’m yours, Sloan. So do with me what you will.”

  Her eyes widened, her throat bobbed. The wind blew a flurry of snowflakes through the air and her long, black hair twisted around her as she stood shivering in my shirt.

  “Sloan!” Nicoli bellowed somewhere in the distance.

  “Will you go back to him?” I asked. “Back to a man who would put you up on a pretty pedestal and turn his gaze from all the broken, tortured little pieces of your soul? Would you live the life of the well behaved little principessa and let it drain the wildness from you piece by piece until you were nothing but a shell? A perfect little ornament to be trotted out on his arm whenever it suited him.”

  “Better that than a girl in a cage being used by a monster,” she hissed.

  “You used me too, Sloan. You used me to find out who you were. And yeah, I’m all the things you think I am and probably a hundred more too. But I’m still yours.”

  Silence fell between us and all that we could hear were Nicoli’s desperate cries as he followed our footsteps across the snow. If we didn’t run now, he’d find us here. He’d kill me and take her back anyway.

  “Well I’m not yours,” Sloan growled fiercely, a tear sliding down her cheek. “Goodbye, Rocco.”

  She turned and ran from me and all I could do was stand and watch her go. A hollowness seemed to echo right through me, resounding down to the foundations of my soul.

  “Rocco!” Frankie bellowed and as Sloan disappeared from sight between the trees, the pain that crashed through me was enough to torture each and every dark and depraved corner of my being. She’d made her choice. And it wasn’t me.

  I turned and ran on up the hill, chasing after my brothers and abandoning the wild girl who had been my perfect temptation and my undoing to a life that was so much less than she deserved.

  “Stop shooting!” I cried as I raced through the trees towards Nicoli.

  “Sloan!?” Nicoli’s voice came in return. “Hold fire!”

  The gunfire stopped, but I didn’t slow my pace, tearing toward Nicoli with my heart weighing like lead. I’d left Coco, but I couldn’t go back. I knew Frankie wouldn’t hurt him, but the idea of leaving him behind killed me.

  Nicoli appeared racing up the hill and he crashed into me, wrapping me in an embrace that crushed the air from my lungs. “Fuck, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

  I clung onto him, pressing my face into his shirt, barely feeling the cold. I was numb, hollow. I’d made my choice. But I felt nothing for it.

  “I’ll get you home.” He tilted my chin up and pressed a kiss to my mouth before I could think to stop it.

  I jerked away, finding Royce standing beyond him with a desperate look on his face. I reached for him and he clutched my hand, his professionalism dropping as he dragged me into his arms. The scent of gunfire and something completely him surrounded me and I gripped him tighter, feeling like a little kid again. I’d always been safe when I was with him, but I didn’t think it was possible to feel safe right then. Not when my heart was running away from me, leaving with Rocco and tearing a gaping hole in my chest in the process. It hurt more than I could bear to admit. And knowing I might never see him again brought on a sob as I clutched onto Royce.

  “It’s alright, Sloan,” he said gently. “We’ll get you home.”

  Home. The word rang in my head a thousand times. I didn’t have a home. My father’s house was familiar, but that didn’t make it the place I belonged. I knew with a painful certainty that Rocco had been the only thing that had ever felt like home to me. But he’d painted me a lie, filling me with hopes of a life together. A life I had almost let him fool me into taking.

  Now, I was cast adrift. And as Nicoli drew me from Royce’s arms and I began to feel the cold throbbing through my feet and slithering through my limbs, I made a quiet promise to myself: I was going to be my own knight in shining armour. The one who freed me from my cage for good.

  Nicoli scooped me into his arms to get my feet out of the snow, hugging me close to his chest as he turned and headed back down the hill. “I’m never going to let anyone take you from me again,” he swore.

  I pursed my lips, because I disagreed with that entirely. I’d be taking myself far away from Sinners Bay as soon as I got the chance.

  ***

  I was tucked under piles of blankets in my family home. My old bedroom didn’t smell familiar anymore. It smelled like new bedsheets and broken dreams.

  Papa hadn’t come to see me yet. He was out on a job, still working even now when his daughter was freshly home from being kidnapped. Typical.

  Nicoli was downstairs. He’d brought me food, water, a hot water bottle. He said I could have anything I asked for, but I hadn’t asked for anything. Because what I wanted was his nemesis in my arms. But I shouldn’t have wanted that for a second because now I knew Rocco was more cruel than I ever could have imagined. I tried to force my crushed heart to harden against him. I wanted it to turn to iron and never bleed for any man ever again.

  How could I have been so naïve?

  I thought of Coco and a growl of rage escaped me. I should have gone back for him, but the other Romeros never would have let me go. I’d had to take my chance. But now my little friend was left in their clutches.

  He’d be okay, but he’d hate them. I didn’t want to abandon him to that life, but what could I do for him now?

  When the house was quiet, I slipped from my bed, taking a backpack from my closet and starting to fill it. I was done being caged. It was time to run. I wasn’t going to wait until Papa returned to the house with all his bodyguards. There were plenty of men manning the property tonight, but I knew wh
ere each of them would be posted. I also knew there was a hole in the fence to the west of the grounds. I’d promised myself I’d slip out of it a thousand times since I’d found it as a child. Tonight, it was time to fulfil that promise to myself.

  No one else mattered now, but me. I needed to start protecting myself from men like Rocco. Even Nicoli who so valiantly ran into save me, but only because he wanted me for himself.

  When I’d packed a bag and changed into black clothes, I headed into the bathroom, pulling my hair up into a bun and tugging a hat down over it. Once I was off the property, I wouldn’t be easily recognised. I had some cash in my purse which I’d stolen from Papa’s office. It was enough to get me out of Sinners Bay and pay for a few months in a hotel. I’d figure it out after that. I didn’t care if I ended up living on the streets, anything was better than here in my cage. I was going to break the bars once and for all.

  I shouldered my pack, pulling up the hood of my sweater and heading to the window. I slid it open, gazing down at the two storey drop. The branch of an oak tree tickled the side of the house and I could just about reach it. I leaned forward, curling my hands around the rough bark and inhaling deeply before letting myself swing out to hang from it.

  I bit down on my tongue as I shimmied toward the trunk, the strength in my arms threatening to fail me. But I had too much determination in my bones. I wasn’t going to let go. My hands would fall off first.

  I made it to the trunk, finding a foothold and breathing a sigh of relief as I started climbing down. I landed on the ground with a soft thump then glanced around to make sure no one could see me here.

  My heart lifted as I realised I was in the clear and I set off at a fierce pace toward the west of the property.

  “Freeze!” a voice bellowed and my heart lurched as I recognised Royce. “Hands on your head or I’ll blow it off!”

  I cursed under my breath, raising my hands and turning to face my old friend.

  His stern face softened and he rushed forward in alarm, lowering his gun. “Miss Calabresi! What are you doing out here? Your father just arrived home to see you.” He stopped a foot from me, reaching out like he longed to hug me, but thought better of it. I guessed now we were back at my father’s property, he had fallen back into his routine as a guard. Though both of us knew he meant much more than that to me.

  “I can’t be here anymore, Royce. I need to go. Please, just let me go,” I begged.

  Royce frowned, planting his feet. “I can’t do that, Miss, you know I can’t. Are you…okay?” His gaze fell down me like he expected to see cuts and bruises from my time in the Romeros’ company. “Perhaps you need to talk to someone?”

  “I’m fine. Better than I’ve been in a long time, in fact,” I said firmly. Apart from my broken heart. “I don’t want this life, Royce. You know that better than anyone in this house. Just say you didn’t see me.”

  He hesitated, his jaw grinding as he glanced over his shoulder. “I can’t let you go off into the city alone. You won’t survive the night.”

  “I’ll survive just fine,” I snarled firmly. “I survived the Romeros.”

  “Did they hurt you?” he asked, his expression pinching as if the words pained him to consider.

  “No.” Yes. Just not in the way I expected.

  “Come inside,” he urged. “I’ve always vowed to protect you, Miss Calabresi. And letting you go wouldn’t be protecting you.”

  I moved toward Royce, knowing he meant it, knowing I couldn’t outrun him. But I had to say my piece. “Do you know how it feels to be protected your whole life, Royce?” I asked coldly. “It feels a lot like a sheep being protected from wolves, all so it can be eaten later by the farmer.”

  Royce swallowed thickly, hanging his head. “It’s the way of your family, Miss.” He reached for me but I ignored his hand, moving around him and making my own way across the snowy ground. I wasn’t sure how to feel about Royce now I knew he’d been involved in killing Rocco’s mother and brother. It didn’t add up with the man who’d watched over me all my life.

  I headed toward the house with my hands clenched into fists. I didn’t care if my father saw the backpack and the look on my face. He could know I hated it here, what difference did it make? Now I knew what he was, that I was born of a man who was as black-hearted as his enemies, I didn’t care to please him anyway.

  I strode up to the front door with Royce at my back and the guards there frowned, looking to Royce for direction. He waved them back and I walked inside, following the sound of my father’s voice through the vast cream entrance hall to the lounge.

  He stood by the fire with Nicoli and I may as well have been transported back in time to the day Nicoli had proposed. Or should I say, the day Papa had sold my womb to his prodigy.

  Father swept his hair back from his eyes, looking to me with a sharp frown as he took in my attire. “What’s going on?” he barked at Royce.

  I answered before he could. “I was just trying to run away, then I was reminded that there’s only one way out of this life. The same route Mamma took.”

  Papa’s brows raised in time with Nicoli’s, but whereas Papa looked furious, Nicoli looked hurt.

  “Bite your tongue,” Papa snarled. “How dare you speak of your mother this way.”

  “How dare I?” I said coldly. “I’m your daughter. How dare you, Papa. How dare you keep me naive, how dare you lie to me over and over, how dare you hide what you really are.”

  Papa strode toward me and Royce moved to my side. “Sir, she’s quiet traumatised from her time with the Romeros,” he said quietly.

  I glared at my father, raising my chin as I waited to see how he’d react. It took me a moment to realise Nicoli was at his back, holding his arm. My brow furrowed at the sight, because I’d never seen him stand against my father in any way at all.

  “Royce is right. She needs some time to process what happened,” Nicoli said firmly, looking to me with a frown.

  I gritted my jaw, staring back at him unblinkingly. “I know my own mind. I’m more sane now than I was before. I’ve processed everything just fine.” I flipped my gaze to Papa. “Does Nicoli know about what you did to the Romeros?”

  “What lies have they been spewing?” Papa scoffed, but there was a dangerous warning in his gaze, telling me to stop talking.

  “I saw it with my own eyes. They showed me the CCTV footage from the night Evelina Romero and her son, Angelo, were murdered.”

  Papa smacked me across the face and I yelped as my head wheeled sideways, my skin stinging like hell. The sound of another thump made me look around. Nicoli had his arm locked around Papa’s throat, wrestling him away from me.

  “Know your place!” my father yelled, throwing him off and laying a hand on the butt of his gun at his hip.

  Nicoli stared at my Papa with intent in his eyes, his hands balled into fists, but he didn’t make another move. I was shocked he’d tried to protect me at all.

  “Get her out of my sight,” Papa spat at Royce and he caught my arm, pulling me toward the door.

  I let him guide me upstairs back to my room and Royce immediately moved to close the window. He locked it in place, pocketing the key and my heart ached.

  “Why do you do as he says?” I growled. “I saw you in that video too, Royce. I thought you were a good man, but I guess you’re just my father’s lap dog after all.” My words were bitter and left a sour taste on my tongue.

  Royce strode back across the room and nudged the door shut, lowering his voice. “I have done plenty of terrible things, Sloan,” he said, dropping the employee bullshit. “I never claimed to be a good man.”

  “But I thought you cared about me. I thought we were friends.” Had I been naive about that too? Was there no one in the world who I could rely on?

  He moved forward, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. “Dear Sloan, I am your friend,” he whispered. “But if I go against your father, he’ll fire me, kill me even. And then who will be here to protect
you?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat, turning my back on him and dragging my hand from his in the process.

  “I was always very fond of your mother,” he said softly and something about his words undid my heart, like he was pulling on a thread that opened the seam. “And before she died, she asked me to look after you. She asked that I do anything in my power to keep you safe.”

  “Being safe has made me more miserable than being in danger ever did,” I whispered. “I’m in a world of monsters and maybe it would have been better if everyone had let me become one too.” I took in a ragged breath, unsure how I was going to face the coming days, weeks, months. The path of my life was too narrow, barred in on both sides.

  “I truly am sorry,” Royce said heavily.

  “What are you sorry for? That I’m miserable or that you helped make me this way?” I turned back to him, blinking away tears as I gazed on one of the few men I’d known and loved in my life. The face that had smiled at me when I’d done my first cartwheel, the hands that had pushed me on the swing while I cried to go higher, the feet I’d stood on when he’d taught me how to slow dance. There had been so much kindness in his actions but beneath it all, he’d held one of the chains which bound me.

  He eyes crinkled at the corners and a part of me regretted those words. Because Royce had defied my father in some ways. He’d trained me to fire a gun and taught me some self-defence. He’d given me a chance and that was the most anyone in this household had ever given me. Instead of always being the King on a chessboard, he’d made me into the Queen, able to move around the board and fight her own battles. But it still hadn’t been enough.

  “I can give you all I have,” he said sadly. “Which is the truth.”

  “What truth?” I asked as he pressed his back to the door to make sure it was shut.

  “The truth about everything. About the coming days, about the past too. Which would you like to hear first? The future, or the past?”