Shadow Eyes

by Dusty Crabtree

  While we waited, Kyra twirled around to face me, smiling, with one hand cradling a chef’s salad and the other resting on the arm rail. I knew I should take the opportunity to ask her about her plans for the weekend. The rest of us had been discussing how we wanted to invite her to the bowling alley with us Friday night. They had all decided I should be the one to ask her, since, for whatever reason, she seemed to gravitate toward me the most.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly clamped it shut without uttering a word. Her light had just returned, fluttering around her slightly, and it appeared as though she wanted to say something.

  Seeing her bright, fluctuating aura again reminded me of the first day she had come to sit with us for lunch when the enigma of my friend had really started to perplex me. We had sat through a quarter of the lunch period without seeing her, and Lexi and I had started to doubt she’d actually show. Josh had been the first one to spot her, or what he’d assumed was her based on our description and her unmistakable presence.

  She’d exited the food line with a grilled chicken salad and lemonade and upon seeing us, had waved in recognition. She’d strolled to our table with the confidence and grace of a princess but with the humility and kindness of Mother Theresa. I had had to try hard not to appear jealous.

  As she’d come closer to us down the center aisle, I’d began to notice a phenomenon that was mystifying, but not entirely foreign to me after having Mr. Delaney as a teacher. When Kyra had walked by, almost every single dark, fluttering figure in the cafeteria had turned to stare at her with a disturbing blend of disgust and terror flickering on their faces like static on an old, black and white television set. Some had even cowered behind their hosts. I had been baffled to see the shadows react in such a similar way with Kyra as with our English teacher, and I had only begun to get used to that.

  That incident, along with the way the majority of the school already seemed smitten with her, had awakened so many questions in my mind. What about Kyra’s personality was so magnetic that everyone in our English class and also school was drawn to her? Why did both Kyra and Mr. Delaney seem to intimidate the shadows? Why did it seem like those two knew each other despite the fact that Kyra had just moved here? For that matter, why did it seem like I knew Mr. Delaney?

  Perhaps more strangely, none of these questions deterred me from longing to be her friend. I was amazed at how I could feel so close to her, like we were already good friends, yet also be mildly uncomfortable around her and confused by my uncertainties.

  My anxious thoughts vanished, and I was brought back to the noisy cafeteria and the sluggishly-moving lunch line when I detected Kyra’s light suddenly retreating and she began to speak.

  “So what are you doing this weekend?” Kyra asked me.

  I immediately felt relieved at not having to ask her first. “Actually, we were going to ask you if you wanted to come with all of us to go bowling Friday night.” I waited for her response with bated breath. Would she think bowling was idiotic and refuse to go?

  “Oh, I can’t on Friday. I have a family thing I have to do.”

  I bent my head sadly as an admittance of failure. I knew she was too good for us.

  “But if you’re not busy on Saturday, I’d love to have you over to my house for lunch.” She regarded me warmly and invitingly, and I was so shocked with her unexpected counter to my offer that I had to collect my thoughts for a minute before answering.

  “Yeah, sure! I’m not busy Saturday.” We barely moved up in line. “Now just to clarify, when you said ‘you,’ did you mean just me or everybody?”

  “Just you this time.” She smiled. Nicole or Lexi might have thought that was rude, but I understood. For some reason, Kyra got along with me better than she did with the others, and being a new student, I could see her not wanting a ton of new people at her house all at once.

  “Okay, that sounds fun.” I tried to smile back just as warmly as Kyra had, knowing I couldn’t come close, but she didn’t see it anyway.

  By then, Kyra had shifted her gaze to something behind me with a look of thinly veiled consternation and distress. It was the first time I had seen her look rattled in any way. I pivoted on my right foot, my black, casual sneaker squeaking as if to alert everyone I was now staring.

  Five kids down from me, a murky black silhouette hovered beside a typical thug wearing a black hoodie. At first, I wasn’t exactly sure what about this boy was causing such tension in my friend, but then I saw it peeking out of the pouch of his hoodie. A hamburger. Barely visible from where we were standing. I could tell he had no intention of paying for it.

  When the shadow saw Kyra, it moved stealthily behind the thug in an attempt to conceal itself yet still cling and whisper to its mark.

  “What are you staring at?” a scornful, high-pitched voice shouted at us. It was Claire. I hadn’t noticed her standing right in front of the thief, and I spun back around, embarrassment showing on my face.

  Kyra, on the other hand, unaffected by Claire’s rude remark, kept eyeing the boy skeptically with her mouth pulled to one side, seemingly trying to make a decision. I discreetly angled my body sideways just enough to glimpse Claire in my peripheral vision. Seeing she had failed to intimidate Kyra, she sighed deeply in frustration and twisted away.

  Eventually reaching the cashier, we paid for our food and walked to our table nearby. Distress still swirled in Kyra’s eyes as we set down our food and I took my seat. Kyra didn’t. Instead, she turned back to where the thief was approaching the end of the line with a sole bag of French fries on his tray.

  She began to march back to the cashier, and my eyes followed her like resistant magnets, not wanting to see the inevitable confrontation but also drawn to discover the result. However, she only made it three steps before she halted mid-stride. I was already focusing on the same place as she and was startled when a bright form of light flashed and then faded beside a young girl who was about to pay, in front of Claire. The girl took a deep breath with resolve and leaned in to whisper to the cashier.

  Kyra turned back around with a smile on her face and sat down to eat her salad, but I couldn’t stop staring. My mouth hung open as the thug approached the lady behind the cash register. She made some remark and pointed to the pouch of his hoodie. He stepped back indignantly, but when she held out her hand, the other hand resting firmly on her hip, he rolled his eyes, reached inside the pouch, and slammed the hamburger onto her open palm.

  I slowly rotated in my seat to stare at my pizza in bewilderment. Breathing deeply, I tried to regain composure. It was all so achingly familiar to the episode in the cafeteria just a week ago with Mr. Delaney.

  I could sense Nicole and Lexi eyeing me with concern but not saying anything. They had obviously missed the whole incident. Although they usually had no idea why I sometimes acted the way I did, they’d come to figure out that if they left me alone long enough, my mood would switch back to normal. They probably thought I was bipolar.

  By the time Josh made it to our table with his food and sat down, I almost had my anxiety under control, but not quite. He could tell something was wrong, so he did his best to cheer me up by smiling at me and leaning in for a quick kiss. That seemed to help.

  “Get a room!” Tyler bellowed from across the table and then chuckled.

  Nicole, who was sitting beside him, tilted her head briefly to her unofficial boyfriend. “Oh, leave them alone.” She gave me a quick nod with a serious face and said, “I think it’s cute,” as if to imply to Tyler that she approved of kisses and wouldn’t mind a few herself every once in a while.

  “Oh, do you now?” Josh lifted one eyebrow and then grinned at me impishly. “Let’s see if she thinks this is cute then.” He pulled my face to his and kissed me with enough passion and intensity for a PG-13 movie.

  I blushed as he slowly pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. Embarrassed, although not completely regretful, I averted my eyes, marveling at how comfortable Josh was becoming with me to let h
is shyness out the window like that.

  “Was that to your liking?” he asked Nicole, pretending to be seriously concerned.

  She rolled her eyes. Tyler’s face lit up with both astonishment and respect, and he nodded in approval. Lexi and Sam, who still somehow ended up sitting next to each other more often than not, looked shocked and speechless. But Kyra had the worst expression of all.

  She didn’t seem surprised or angry or anything. It was worse than that. Her eyes squinted as she propped her head up with a half-open fist that covered her mouth, and she observed me thoughtfully. It was as though she were attempting to peer deep into our relationship.

  I tried not to make eye contact with her, but I could feel her penetrating gaze and rapidly became self-conscious. I wasn’t annoyed by her close scrutiny, though. It was more fear that caused my discomfort and made me shrink down in my seat…fear that she’d be disappointed with what she would discover.

  Chapter 8

  AS I WAITED FOR JOSH to pick me up for bowling, Hanna and I sat on the living room couch together with the volume turned up unnecessarily loud for the Food Network, doing our best to divide our attention between our mother’s intermittent fashion show and the entrancing television in front of us. We pushed the mute button on and off every time she entered with a new outfit so she could ask our opinions on whether or not it was date-worthy. But after each one, she would swiftly leave the room for another, shaking her head in doubt at our half-hearted compliments and praise.

  “She’s really worked up about this one, huh?” Hanna muttered, remote still in her hand ready for the next outfit.

  “Yeah. I don’t think she made this big of a deal last time. Do you?” My eyes were still glued to the TV. The three-tiered vanilla bean cake with white chocolate buttercream icing was making my mouth water.

  Hanna glared at me with a heavy smirk. “You wouldn’t know, now would you? You left me stranded by myself on desperate single-mother island to go traipsing around with your little boyfriend.”

  I scoffed and pretended to act dignified. “In my defense…he wasn’t my boyfriend at the time, and he’s not little.”

  Hanna punched my leg with a lighter smirk than before, which soon morphed into a laugh after seeing my lower lip protrude in a poor attempt to pout.

  “What about this one?” Our mom strutted in front of us wearing a tight red skirt I didn’t even know she owned (otherwise I would have retired it to the trash can), a skimpy black spaghetti strap top, and black heels.

  “Um…” Hanna was momentarily speechless. “Yeah, Mom, that looks great.”

  “Uh…yeah…” I stared incredulously at Hanna, “if she were a hooker.” There was no way I was letting my mom go out like that.

  Hanna punched my leg again, but this time in my mom’s defense, who had just slumped her shoulders and was frowning in defeat.

  “Oh…I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re really pretty and everything. It’s just that the outfit might be sending the wrong message.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with my forty-eight-year-old mother.

  “Who is this guy you’re seeing tonight anyway?” Hanna said. “He must be really special for you to freak out like this.”

  Our mother frowned at Hanna. “I’m not freaking out. I just want to look nice, is all.” She rolled her eyes and sighed as she took off her high heels and slouched into the love seat. She looked tired. Letting her head rest on her thumbs, she raised her pointer fingers to press on her temples and closed her eyes. “Who am I kidding? I’m too old for this.”

  I wouldn’t have agreed with her out loud in a million years, but seeing her hunched over with wrinkles on her face, a hint of gray showing at her roots, and dressed in an outfit meant for a woman half her age, I silently told myself she might be right.

  Hanna and I gave each other a quick, pitying glance, knowing how lonely she must have felt. Hanna was always better at cheering people up, so I nodded my head meaningfully toward our mom who was still slouched over on the couch, rubbing her temples.

  Hanna pushed the power button on the remote and set it down to give our mom her full attention and respect. “Okay, so tell me one more time where you both are going so we can choose the best outfit. You had a lot of good ones to choose from.” She smiled encouragingly at our mom who lifted up her head, eyes full of appreciation and holding a glimmer of hope.

  I quickly jumped on board as the glimmer spread. “Yeah, you did have some good ones. Also, what is this guy is like, because that might sway our decision. You know, whether he’s a sports nut, a business man, or whatever.”

  Our mom lit up again and told us all about Tom, a guy she met at her favorite coffee shop. He was a doctor, and, according to our mom, he was handsome, charming, and way out of her league…which sort of explained her obsessive behavior.

  We had just settled on a charcoal gray pant suit and a vibrant purple blouse with purple earrings borrowed from me, when Josh pulled into the driveway. As he strolled up to the door to ring the bell, I sighed contentedly. I had gotten used to the idea of him as my boyfriend, but I still got that tingly, euphoric feeling whenever I was around him.

  I glanced back at Hanna as I got up to head to the door. I didn’t want to leave her stranded again like last time, but she dipped her head once, indicating that everything was under control.

  “Bye, Mom.” I ran over to her and gave her a big hug before rushing back to the door. “You look great.”

  She smiled gratefully and I opened the door to find my own breathtakingly handsome date grinning shyly at me through the screen door.

  If I hadn’t already anticipated it, while Josh and I held hands in line waiting to get our bowling shoes, the mirthful atmosphere around us convinced me it was going to be a good night. The cracks of heavy bowling balls smashing into pins reverberated around the bowling alley, while the sound of laughter and people mingling filled the empty spaces. Even the smell of beer and stale smoke that managed to drift out of the billiard room to which it was supposed to be confined added to the excitement.

  With shoes and bowling balls in tow, we turned to find Nicole and Lexi already at our lane. Nicole must have changed since school.

  “You look cute!” I said to her as I sat down with my bowling shoes.

  She was bent over, lacing up her own shoes and was wearing a sexy, short metallic dress with black leggings. She grinned and stood up to show off her outfit.

  I scanned her from head to toe. “Well…except for the bowling shoes of course.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s always about my feet with you, isn’t it?”

  “Oh relax, I’m just kidding. Everyone here is in the same mismatching boat.” I pointed to my own ugly bowling shoes as I slid them on my feet to solidify my argument.

  She came over to my bench and plopped down in frustration, leaning in close to whisper, “I’m trying to look hot so maybe Tyler will finally make a move or ask me out or something.”

  I eyed my friend empathetically. “He still hasn’t said anything, huh?”

  “No.” Nicole folded her arms across her chest in a huff.

  “Well, if he doesn’t after tonight, he’s an ignorant fool.” I squeezed Nicole’s shoulders to show my sympathy and support.

  “Wow!” As if on cue, Tyler waltzed in to the bowling alley with Sam and spotted Nicole. He glanced around to the rest of us. “Who is this sexy model sitting with us and why has she chosen to grace us with her presence?”

  Tyler grinned playfully at Nicole who instantly blushed as he left to pay for his shoes. I nudged her with my elbow.

  The rest of the night for me was a whirlwind of fun and exhilarating pleasure. Nicole and Tyler appeared closer than ever—he would ask her out any day now, and Lexi and Sam were getting along decently. Sam had finally realized Lexi only liked him as a friend and had grudgingly accepted it, so now they were content to keep each other company as the rest of us attempted to remain sociable and not totally seclu
de ourselves.

  As for Josh and me, we were becoming more and more openly intimate, sometimes barely aware of our friends around us. Practically each time I finished bowling, he gifted me with a quick kiss, whether or not my score deserved it, and most of the evening I spent either on his lap, beside him holding his hand, or standing close to him off to the side.

  Besides the fact that I loved the warm, titillating sensation that saturated my skin every time I was with him, he also made me feel like a normal seventeen-year-old girl. I could almost pretend I didn’t even see the shadows hovering everywhere around us, as though we were in our own personal bubble.

  When the night was over and we pulled into my driveway, my mother’s car was still gone. Her date must have been going well. Josh killed the motor of his car and I was struck with a sharp feeling of déjà vu. The only difference was this time, I was more comfortable with what was about to happen.

  Words weren’t even required. All he had to do was gaze at me with his impassioned eyes, and a shocking chill rushed throughout my body, making me shiver. In a split-second we were on each other, lips locked fiercely together and moving in unison, hands groping backs and gripping hair, bodies pressed as closely as his car would allow. I even twisted my body out of my seat to move to his lap. It was as if we had popped the corks off the bottles of passion and hormones that had been burning and building up pressure inside us.

  However, when Josh inclined his seat all the way back and started moving his hands elsewhere, a twinge of doubt floated through my mind. Should I continue? For one thing, my mother could come home any minute, and for another, I had never actually thought about having to draw a line with Josh. Now that I was presented with the exceedingly difficult dilemma, I wasn’t sure what to do.