Shadow Eyes

by Dusty Crabtree

During those few weeks, the time not spent with Josh or shamefully daydreaming about Patrick was spent being inundated with more bizarre shadow episodes with Kyra and Mr. Delaney, as school kept getting weirder and more complicated.

  The first happened the day after I met Patrick. I was in the girls’ restroom by myself washing my hands at the tail end of the passing period between second and third hour, when a drop-out-waiting-to-happen walked in and leaned her back against the wall behind me, fidgeting.

  I tried to smile at her from the mirror as a friendly gesture, but she just rolled her eyes, looked away, and continued to fidget uncomfortably like she was waiting for me to leave.

  She moved slightly and I caught a glimpse of a package of cigarettes peeking out of the pocket of her jacket. Evidently, she was waiting for me to exit the bathroom so she could get her fix of nicotine before strolling in late to third hour.

  She had an anxious, hateful expression on what I could see of her face through the mirror. I didn’t want to make her more upset, so I quickly dried my hands and turned to leave but froze in my tracks and gasped at the sight of a heavy, dark form riding on the girl’s back—an oversized backpack, gripping tightly around her shoulders. I smacked my open hand against my chest and shut my eyes as I took a deep breath. Sometimes I forgot the shadows weren’t visible to me in mirrors.

  “What are you looking at?” The girl scowled at me spitefully.

  “Oh…nothing.” I avoided making eye contact and swiftly walked out, giving her and her leech a wide berth.

  Just as I exited the restroom, Kyra entered it. She smiled familiarly at me and nodded, and I nearly warned her to use a different restroom but wasn’t sure how to explain my reasons. She was moving too fast for me to say anything anyway, so after we passed each other and I was on the outside, I spun around to watch the entrance of the bathroom in suspense.

  Whatever I thought might happen, I wasn’t expecting what did. I heard some quiet talking but couldn’t decipher what was being said. In less than thirty seconds the potential drop-out stumbled out of the restroom in a befuddled daze, like a girl waking up with a hangover, wondering how she ended up in her own bed. The black, fluttering shadow still hung on her shoulders but appeared somewhat frightened. As the girl wandered away, her expression part frustrated, part confused, and part intrigued, the shadow glared back with malice and resentment to where Kyra lingered.

  What just happened? I turned on my heel to rush to Computer Apps and avoid being tardy, but the thought of seeing the stunning Patrick again made me feel befuddled. My excitement rapidly pushed aside the lingering confusion over what I’d just witnessed.

  The second incident occurred in English that Thursday with Lexi. Nicole and Tyler had been so enamored with each other lately that they hardly had time for anyone else. I didn’t really notice since I was spending most of my time with Josh or Kyra. But Lexi didn’t have anyone else to cling to. Kyra was kind and polite to her in English and at lunch, but it was apparent she was closer to me than to Lexi, and Sam wasn’t exactly the ideal companion.

  Her isolation must have been eating away at her without my noticing, because her attitude unexpectedly became bitter and depressed as Kyra and I were laughing to ourselves before class started. We’d been talking about a pre-teen book we’d both read several years ago whose main character reminded us of her mother if she were twelve.

  At one point in our conversation I peered over at Lexi and saw her looking away from us in a melancholy slump with her arms crossed tightly across her chest. I tried to ignore it and continued chatting, but the next time I peeked at her, I jumped in my seat, seeing a faint, translucent shadow floating beside her, whispering in her ear.

  I attempted to play off my massive twitch like I was simply adjusting myself in my seat, but instead of facing Kyra again, I gawked at my desk, unsure what to do.

  Of course, Kyra couldn’t see what I saw hovering dangerously close to our friend, but she seemed to know exactly what to do and didn’t waste any time. “You know what character you remind me of?” she asked Lexi, including her in our conversation.

  “Who?” Lexi snapped, and I twirled around to gape at her with her new accessory. Her hatefulness astonished me.

  “Clarisse from Fahrenheit 451.” Kyra studied her admiringly despite Lexi’s cold reply.

  Lexi looked surprised and slightly confused, although she’d read the book with me in English two years ago. “Really?” The disdain in her voice had vanished and the murky form gradually began to dissipate. “I always liked her. Why do I remind you of her?”

  “Well,” Kyra began, “you’re always bubbly and chipper like her…”

  Except for now, I thought to myself.

  “You appreciate the little things in life. And you love books,” Kyra finished with a smile.

  “Hmm.” Lexi considered that for a moment before raising her eyebrows and nodding her head in agreement. “I guess I am kind of like her.”

  Her smile widened and I relaxed as the shadow completely disappeared. My old friend was back.

  “I agree,” I said, and then grinned playfully. “Except for the getting run over by a car part.”

  We all laughed, and I gazed at Kyra, amazed at her immediate response to a shadow she couldn’t even see.

  The third event also took place in English on the following Tuesday, but it was Mr. Delaney who caused me to scratch my head in bewilderment. What shocked me first was seeing Cory, a generally angry and sulky boy who sat in the back of our class, stomp in that morning with a vengeful-looking shadow clutching every single part of his body. It was hanging on for dear life as though it dreaded even sitting in the back of Mr. Delaney’s class but wasn’t about to let go of its mark.

  I was so used to English being shadow-free with Mr. Delaney’s commanding presence that I had a hard time concentrating on the quiz. I kept eyeing Cory, assuming I would find him cheating off someone, but instead he was attacking his test forcefully with an overly sharpened pencil as if it had offended him in some way. He was so intent on wreaking havoc to his paper that I could hear his pencil harshly scratch out an answer from time to time that he apparently didn’t think deserved a simple eraser.

  I glanced at Mr. Delaney a few times as well to see if he noticed anything unusual. I couldn’t be sure whether or not he did, because every time I looked at him he was either sifting through papers on his desk or scanning the rest of the classroom as teachers often did to check for cheaters. Nonetheless, I could have sworn that a few times when my face was down, his was turned to Cory.

  He must have at least noticed something was bothering Cory, because he pulled him aside after the bell rang to talk to him. Kyra had already left and my curiosity begged me to stay and eavesdrop, but my logic assured me Mr. Delaney wouldn’t begin his lecture until every student had left.

  Sadly, I started toward the exit but whirled around to take one last peek. Bad idea. Cory’s black, wavering baggage hid behind him but firmly gripped his shoulders. Its head was inclined to face me, and its vindictive eyes were locked on mine. I shuddered and hastily scrambled out the door.

  It wasn’t until lunchtime that I discovered the reason for Cory’s shadow.

  “Did you hear about Cory Taylor and Justin Farley?” Tyler asked our lunch table, entirely too animated and excited about his gossip.

  Most of us shook our head and continued eating as we waited for him to fill us in. He was always overly animated about everything, so we usually didn’t feel the need to drop our food and gaze at him expectantly.

  I, however, lowered my fork and shifted to face him, trying to hide my overwhelming curiosity. I had already spent the last two hours in agony, speculating about what had happened with Cory and that evil, glaring shadow. Well, to be honest, it wasn’t a complete two hours of agony. I had Patrick in third hour to briefly take my mind off anything other than him, which, I’m sorry to say, was becoming a daily, pleasant retreat for me.

  Tyler didn’t let the rest of the ta
ble’s transparent indifference hinder him. “Apparently Justin called Cory a bunch of names yesterday, trying to start something, and there was supposed to be this epic fight today just before lunch outside.”

  I closed my eyes remembering how vengeful both Cory and his clinging, dark shadow had appeared in first hour.

  “So what happened?” Josh prodded, now interested.

  “It didn’t happen!” Tyler answered as if he were delivering the climactic punch line to a joke in a stand-up routine. “Cory showed up and was all, ‘Anybody can call people names and fight, but it takes a real man to walk away.’ And he walked away.” Tyler threw his fork down on his tray and leaned back in his chair to indicate his shocking story was over.

  Everyone but Kyra looked surprised at Cory’s decision to ditch the fight. She had barely glanced up during Tyler’s retelling of the near epic battle. It seemed as though she either hadn’t been paying attention or already knew what the outcome was going to be.

  “Well, I’m proud of him,” Lexi stated firmly. “He’s right about being man enough to walk away!”

  Kyra stopped chewing and smiled at Lexi to show her agreement. Her beautiful, glowing aura even fluttered around her briefly before she verbally made her stance clear. “I agree, Lexi.” Lexi dipped her head to her appreciatively. “There are times when fighting is necessary to resolve certain conflicts.” We all stared at her, puzzled by such a contradictory statement…and then she finished, “But those conflicts rarely take place between two high-school boys.”

  “Amen, sister!” Nicole reached over the table to give Kyra an enthusiastic high-five as Lexi laughed. “Boys fight over the stupidest things!” Nicole rolled her eyes emphatically and sat back in her seat. “Like, ‘Oh no, somebody bumped me in the hallway, so now I’m gonna go beat him senseless.’ I mean, really? How childish is that?”

  Seeing they were outnumbered, the boys simply chuckled, shook their heads, and continued eating. We sat in silence for a while, which gave me time to think. What could Mr. Delaney have said to change the mind of someone so obviously bent on destruction?

  Nevertheless, for Josh’s sake, I tried to convince myself that not all shadows were that bad. Despite the fact that my confusing feelings for Patrick grew exponentially instead of fading, Josh and I were becoming closer and more intimate every day. The more intimate we became, the more the shadow appeared and held on tightly to Josh. I told myself that his shadow couldn’t be that threatening because it didn’t stay for long. Plus, he never pushed me to do more than I wanted to. The problem was, the line between what I wanted to do and what I didn’t was seriously starting to blur.

  Chapter 10

  “HEY THERE, BEAUTIFUL.” Patrick swiveled around in his omputer chair to greet me with one of his alluring grins.

  I blushed as a familiar tingling sensation rippled against my skin. He pulled my chair out for me and dusted it off, motioning for me to assume my throne, and I managed a smirk. Eventually, though, the full smile I was trying to repress broke free with a laugh.

  I figured I might as well play along. “Why, thank you, sir,” I stated in a regal British accent as I waltzed to my seat.

  He gave an exaggerated bow from his chair with one hand behind his back. The other performed a quick rolling motion in front of him with his palm ending face up, extended out to me. From his bent position, he peered up at me with tempting green eyes. I took his hand, pretending not to feel the electricity surge from his fingers to mine, and sat down with exceedingly good posture.

  Once I was seated, he raised his head just enough to stare into my eyes and lifted my fingers delicately to his parted mouth. The soft warmth from his lips gently caressed my hand, and I immediately melted, at the mercy of his dark gaze and soft touch. Soon there would be nothing left of me but a vulnerable puddle at his feet. There was such an intense, seductive power in his eyes that dominated every part of me, rendering me a helpless hostage. Strangely, I didn’t want to be rescued.

  At last, he released my hand after holding it so long it felt shockingly cold apart from his. Our quaint little game had ended. I relaxed my posture and sighed deeply at the thought of turning to stare at my computer instead of Patrick’s gorgeous face but swirled in my chair anyway to click open Microsoft Publisher. We had a new business card assignment.

  “So…how do you get into Publisher again?” Patrick raised his eyebrows at me in a fake helpless, puppy dog look that was irresistible, though he clearly had no trouble finding the program.

  “Really?” I scrutinized him. “You really want my help to find Publisher?”

  “If you would be so kind, madam.” He gestured to his mouse and rolled back ever so slightly in his chair, allowing me to stretch my arm across him to reach the mouse.

  “Whoa, whoa!” He lifted up his hands and backed away as if I had just attempted to reach somewhere forbidden. “Whoa there, missy. I just need help with my computer issues. No other help is required at this time.”

  “Well, excuse me!” I replied, playfully kicking his foot underneath the table but not releasing my hand from his mouse. “You’re the one who asked for my help but barely moved out of the way. Now do you want my help or not?” I regarded him seriously but felt my poker face start to melt as his eyes refused to leave mine. His heavy, intoxicating smell drifted up my nostrils, leaving me light-headed. He rolled up in his chair deliberately closer to me than before.

  His eyes still fixed on me, he nodded slowly. I angled my head to open up the program and saw his gaze out of the corner of my eye wander from my face to my hair and down my back. If I had seen any hint of a dark figure looming around him, I would have sworn he was undressing me with his eyes. But, like always, Patrick was completely free of any shadows. In fact, none ever came near him. Needless to say, this made my devotion to the now shadow-accommodating Josh waver.

  Once I got him started and returned to my own computer, he began his teasing, flirtatious routine again. “So I’m thinking your business card should read, ‘Iris Kohl, beautiful bewitcher of boys.’” I stared at him flatly, arms across my chest. “Do you like that? Did you see how I added the alliteration for that extra punch?”

  I smirked and replied sarcastically, “Oh yeah? Well, what’s yours going to say? ‘Free-lance instructor, How to seduce helpless girls one-oh-one?” I surprised myself at my blatancy and immediately wished I could take it back. But there was no undoing it now. I would just have to suck it up and play this one out.

  He shrugged and raised his eyebrows meditatively. “Hmm…that’s not a bad idea.” Then he moved toward me and inclined his head impishly, a hint of arrogance in his voice. “Why? Do you think I could make a lot of money teaching my skill?”

  For some reason, that set me off. It was like a veil had been temporarily removed from my head, allowing me to see I was being played by the ultimate player. As much as I enjoyed the euphoria of being seduced and entranced by Patrick, the dominant control-freak side of me had no intentions of letting him conquer my every wit.

  “You know, for your information, I have a boyfriend, and I know he wouldn’t appreciate your behavior.”

  I expected him to recoil in shock or apologize for the last two weeks, but he simply nodded calmly and said, “I know. Josh, right?”

  I gasped. “How do you know about Josh?”

  “His dad works with my dad and they live close by. They invited us over for a cookout a few days after we moved in.” He paused for my surprise and confusion to settle and for his words to register before continuing with an indicative smile and lowered voice. “And he told me all about you.”

  I closed my mouth rigidly, blushing at the thought of what Josh might have told Patrick. My nervous curiosity was quickly replaced, however, by my anger at the fact that he knew about Josh and me the whole time. “If you knew we were dating, why have you been torturing me these past few weeks?”

  “Is that what I’ve been doing?” He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to me implying we both kn
ew it wasn’t torture.

  I rolled my eyes and sighed impatiently. “You know what I mean.”

  “I never meant anything by it.” He shook his head and lifted up his hands in a mild protest. “I’m sorry you took it that way.”

  “So you’re saying, I’ve just been misinterpreting your motives?”

  “Well, yeah. Since you have a boyfriend, nothing I say or do to you is meant to have any deeper meaning than harmless flirting.” He softened his voice as he leaned in closer to me and began tracing his finger from my hand up my arm to my shoulder. “Now, if you didn’t have a boyfriend…well, let’s just say, you could read as deeply into my actions as you wanted to.”

  His eyes bore into mine and his lips parted as though he wanted to kiss me savagely. Despite the fact that I did still have a boyfriend and we were still in class, I almost leaned in for the moment of ecstasy I’d been longing for since I first laid eyes on him. But I was swiftly brought back to disappointing reality when Patrick dropped his hand, reclined in his chair, and rolled back to his computer.

  He glanced back to check my reaction and found me gaping and unable to move. As he began working on his project, a devious grin played on his face as if he knew I was nothing but a mere marionette easily manipulated by the slightest twitch of his master fingertips and that I was his favorite puppet to play with.

  I sat quietly at our lunch table beside Josh, feeling like a fraud behind glass walls, even though as far as I knew, nobody but Josh even knew Patrick existed, much less that I had an insanely strong crush on him. Still, it wasn’t right hiding such intense feelings from any of them. Eating my slice of pizza slowly in silence, I contemplated my screwed up emotions, hoping my friends would just ignore me like they usually did when I withdrew into myself.

  After glancing at the clock and realizing I had been musing over Patrick for almost half the lunch period, I thought for sure my thoughts were becoming visible through my translucent shield. I glanced up to see if my fears were justified and saw Lexi and Nicole giggling about something and pointing. Paranoid, I yanked my head up to search for what they thought was so interesting. I half-expected to see Patrick but instead saw Mr. Delaney several yards away with his back to us. He was bent over, picking up a piece of trash.