Shadow Eyes

by Dusty Crabtree

  As each enormous wave blasted me, a taunting voice from deep within the tide, muffled yet somehow resembling my own voice, reminded me of what I already believed. “You’re weak and powerless! Everything that’s gone wrong in your life is your fault. You’re just a helpless little girl that can’t do anything right.” The wave slammed into me and I just had time to gasp for air when another looming wave charged me from a different angle. The voice hammered into my mind even further. “You’re unworthy, unlovable…unacceptable. What you did to yourself just proves this. You can never be forgiven and no one will ever love you!”

  I was swimming in the tempest of waves now and fighting to stay afloat as my energy and will were wearing thin. I wouldn’t be able to last much longer in this raging sea and was about to simply stop kicking when a mammoth wave, bigger than the last two combined, rose high above me. It grew into an awe-inspiring yet terrifying tower of water, ready to crash down on me and crush what little spirit I had. “You are broken and defective, a throw-away that’s not even worth fixing. There has always been something wrong with you and nothing will ever change that.”

  The monstrous wave capped and dived toward me, and I squeezed my eyes shut in a panicked attempt to ready myself for its devastating blow. But the crashing wave never came. Instead Gregory’s hand met my back and his warmth surged through me. I opened my eyes to find myself in some sort of strange vision away from my bedroom and former self and safe from the drowning waves of my emotions.

  I was standing outside a pet store, peering through a glass box that held one golden retriever puppy wearing a pink collar. She was lying by herself in the middle of her cage. It probably would have been a cute, lovable puppy had it not been for her appearance. Her fur was incredibly mangy, appearing as though it were missing in some spots, and her exposed, discolored skin made her look sickly. I immediately felt sorry for her. The flawed puppy would probably never get adopted and who knew what kind of sickness it had.

  “Poor thing,” I said sadly through the glass.

  The little puppy must have heard me because she perked up and looked at me, wagging her tail in excitement before eventually standing up. She pawed at the glass a couple of times and barked, and then ran playfully to the side of her cage where some jokester had laid a gigantic rawhide bone. Even though it was twice her size, she pranced right to it and started gnawing. Incredibly, what started out as simple chewing turned into an all-out show of tremendous strength as the puppy began dragging the giant bone across its cage with just one tiny corner caught in her mouth. I was astonished and quite impressed that such a sickly looking puppy was able to do something so difficult.

  Just after she made it to the other side with the bone in her mouth, a bell jingled and she let it fall. Her head spun around to the store side of her cage where a child and her mother were approaching. She began to wag her tail again in an effort to look cute and adoptable, and once more I pitied her. With her fur all mangy like that and with how sickly she looked, there was no way the girl would choose her. I could already see the child and her mom eyeing all the other adoptable pets in the store. I couldn’t see the animals from far away but assumed they were better looking than the one before me.

  However, when they came across the puppy with the pink collar, the girl’s face lit up and she clapped her hands excitedly in indication that she had found the perfect pet she’d been searching for. She pointed to it and said something to her mother who then in turn spoke to the sales clerk. At once, the man went to get a leash for the puppy to be taken home.

  I was dumbfounded. Did they seriously want this mangy puppy over any other dog they could have chosen in the store? Maybe they saw something in her I didn’t see. She must have some sort of worth or value for them to overlook her blatant defects.

  The sales clerk returned with a leash, reached in to hook it to the little puppy’s collar, and pulled her out of the glass box to hand her to the little girl. Once the puppy was free and clear of her box and became visible for the first time out in the open, I staggered back in shock as I tried to grasp what my eyes were telling me. The puppy’s skin and fur were perfectly normal with no blemishes or defects whatsoever. Upon closer inspection of the glass box through which I had been viewing her, I recognized what had happened. The glass was splotchy and dirty and warped in some places, so when I had peered through it, the puppy had looked as if there was something wrong with her.

  I was amazed at how my distorted perception through the glass had lied to me so effectively. But instead of being angry, I nearly cried out in joy for the truth I now knew. This puppy was perfectly fine. Nothing had ever been wrong with her, and she was definitely worthy of her new home.

  The little girl lifted the puppy high up in the air in an exultant show of pride in her new pet, and something shimmered in the light hanging from her pink collar. A name tag. I looked closer. Scrawled in elegant, glittering white letters was the name Iris.

  I gasped slowly as the overwhelming realization rushed through me and saturated my soul to its very core. That puppy is me! I moved my hand to cover my mouth as tears of healing and joyful wonder welled up in my eyes until I closed them and sent the tears streaming down my cheeks. Immediately, something oppressive and heavy lifted from my shoulders. A gentle peace settled in its place. I understood now who I was meant to be…who I really had been all along but had failed to see clearly. I wasn’t damaged like I thought I was, and I had worth and strength I never thought possible.

  Warmth surged through my back from Gregory’s touch and once again I was in my old bedroom, facing my younger self at the worst moment of my life. Only this time something was different. My perception had changed. This girl was not helpless, nor was she powerless. I didn’t know if it would help anything, but I had to tell her. She needed to know the truth.

  A strange motherly instinct took over and propelled me toward her. I spoke softly but with steady confidence and resolve. “His lies can’t hurt us anymore, Iris…because we now know the truth of how worthy you really are…”

  Tears began to fall gently down my cheeks, and I bent my head to the floor. “How worthy we are.”

  When I looked back up, the young Iris was gazing upward at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out.

  Whatever I was doing seemed to be working, so I continued with words I thought she needed to hear. “These next few years are going to be tough, but I know you’ll be fine. You’re stronger than you think. And there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. A very real, very tangible light that’ll be willing to embrace you when you’re ready.”

  With eyes still closed, she leaned against the wall while her face transformed from a somber expression into a serene smile.

  I glanced back at Gregory who was shining brightly with a welcoming glow, encouraging me to come back with him. I wiped my eyes and moved to take my rightful place by his side again as a smile played on my lips. My own words had finally sunk in. I lifted my head to look Gregory in the eyes.

  “I’m ready.”

  Chapter 27

  ONCE WE WERE BACK out of the memory, the scene of my bedroom warped and flew by me. It instantly became just another frame in the whirling circular movie reel around us and knocked my hair back once more with the force of its wind. This time it was flying in the opposite direction, sending us back to the present. It was weird going back. I almost didn’t know how to act. I had changed and grown so much from when I had left.

  Lucas was no longer a part of my life. That much was certain. I was freer. More alive. More like the person I was meant to be than who I had chosen to be in the past. Baggage I hadn’t even known I was carrying and lies I hadn’t known I was believing had been kicked to the curb. I felt like an innocent child again. I had been given a second chance, and I was ready to run with it wherever it wanted to take me.

  Still, even though I felt Lucas gone, my brain told me to confirm with the one who would know for sure. I turned to the angel standing besid
e me, appearing much more like Mr. Delaney than an angel now that he was back to his human form. Only a faint glow about him remained.

  “Gregory? Lucas won’t bother me anymore, will he.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  “No, Iris. You’re free from his captivity. He can’t control you now unless, for some reason, you choose to let him. And don’t think he won’t try to convince you that’s what you want.”

  I shuddered at the memory of seeing the spirit-like arm of my younger self reaching up to willingly wrap herself in the oppressive shadow. “I could never do that again. I hate the shadows,” I said, spitting out the words in disgust.

  “Ah.” Gregory smiled candidly. “Music to my ears.”

  He broke out into such a lighthearted, carefree laugh that I found myself laughing with him despite the gravity of the situation I’d just been through. It felt good. It felt light and airy. Like taking your first deep breath after clearing your lungs of pneumonia.

  But talking about shadows reminded me of the few black figures that had been hovering in the back of my living room when Gregory and I had left. I sensed my old anxiety threaten to spurt forth and flood through me again, but a quick reminder of my newly realized strength and power suppressed the floodgates. Only a few drops of apprehension managed to escape.

  I glanced up at Gregory. “Will those shadows in the living room still be there when we return?”

  He laughed and stared straight ahead at the movie screen where the frames of memories were passing through much more sluggishly. “I’d say by now they’re probably all about gone.”

  “By now?”

  He grinned at me and then pointed back to the screen. The rotating movie reel had stopped moving and was gradually rippling into walls again while the movie screen shrank and warped back to its original form: the large mirror in my foyer.

  I didn’t know what I was expecting to see once the mirror came into focus, but what I did see was definitely not what I was anticipating. A shadow hung back anxiously in one corner of my living room as Kyra bolted toward it with her arms wildly open, her flickering aura raging about her small frame. One hand held the luminous, glass prism weapon I’d seen her use at Patrick’s party. She leapt toward the frightened shadow, drawing in her arms and spinning her body effortlessly in the air like a ninja assassin executing a beautiful triple axel. As she twirled back around to land in a slight crouch, facing the shadow, she flung her arm around with the lethal prism and sliced through the middle of the foggy, black silhouette. Immediately, it evaporated into mist.

  I was so stunned, I hardly knew what to do once I turned to face her directly. I’d had my suspicions of all that Kyra could actually see and do but had never had them demonstrated in such a blatant, irrefutable way.

  She whirled her head around, and her short locks whipped into her face. Upon seeing us, her aura faded. She swiftly put her elongated prism in some sort of holster on her belt and ran over to me, wrapping me up in a tight squeeze.

  “Iris! You’re back!” She held me out at arm’s length and beamed at me. “And without Lucas! I’m so proud of you!” She drew me in again for another quick hug and then released me excitedly. “I knew you had it in you. I tried to tell Gregory to let you go back a long time ago, but he said you weren’t ready.”

  Gregory turned to Kyra with keen wisdom sparkling in his eyes like a friendly old uncle or mentor. “Sometimes when you’re in a tough situation, it takes hitting rock bottom to realize you need help getting out of the pit.”

  Kyra rolled her eyes playfully. “I know. I know.” She then returned to me and took my hands, smiling. “But you did it, and you’re out of that pit, and that’s all that matters.”

  She must have seen the utter confusion and bewilderment in my face because her eyebrows furrowed and she let go of my hands. “Oh…sorry. You must be really confused. I know I said I was busy helping my parents out while they were in the hospital, so why am I here, right? Well, I’d really been trying to fight away the demons that have been harassing them during and since the wreck. They’ve eased up recently, though. To focus more on you, I think. My parents are doing much better. Actually—”

  “Kyra!” I interrupted her, shaking my head. “I don’t…That’s not why I…What on earth were you doing just then with those shadows?”

  “Oh,” she laughed. “Duh! Of course.” She looked over to Gregory who nodded in assent, implying she could now fully disclose her identity.

  She turned back to me. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry I had to keep who I was a secret the whole time. I didn’t want to. Trust me! But Gregory assured me it was for your own good. You wouldn’t have understood it then. Or accepted it.”

  I stared at her blankly, still waiting for my explanation.

  “Of course you already know by now that Gregory’s an angel. Or Mr. Delaney as you used to know him. But I’m what’s called a light warrior. I’m human just like you. I also have the same vision of angels and demons, or shadows as you call them. We actually call them that too sometimes, since that’s what they look like. There are others out there like us, Iris. We fight for the light against the dark forces. Gregory here trained me two years ago when I was fifteen.”

  “Is that what you were doing with that prism thing a minute ago?” I asked.

  “Just cleaning the house for your return.” She smiled proudly.

  Gregory interrupted with an affectionate tone. “Kyra’s always been good with the prism, if not a bit of a show-off at times.” He grinned as Kyra smirked and then shrugged in acceptance.

  “What can I say? I was trained by the best.” She slowly and delicately slid the long, pointed prism out of its black holster on her belt and held it out for me to examine. It was made of thick glass and was about a foot in length in the shape of a long, 3-D triangle, flat on one end and sharply pointed on the other.

  “Go ahead. Hold it. I normally keep it in my purse, but I figured I’d need quick access to it tonight.”

  I raised both open palms to accept the glass weapon with great awe and appreciation. As I turned it over in my hands, I sensed the power and warmth of its surprisingly light-weight and beautiful composition. It sparkled and glimmered as light appeared to both fill and surround it.

  Kyra grinned at me curiously. Her expression oddly reminded me of the way someone with a .22 pistol might survey a man who owns an AR-15 rifle after he sets the rifle down to admire the small gun.

  “We use the light prism for most of our fighting,” she said and chuckled to herself.

  I returned the prism to Kyra self-consciously. I wanted to ask her what she meant by saying “we” and “our” in a way that seemed to exclude me on purpose, but Gregory didn’t give me the chance.

  “Iris,” Gregory explained, “this special prism works by absorbing light, particularly the inner light of light warriors. It then reflects the light in its purest form. To the shadows who thrive in darkness, this pure light is deadly. But any light directly reflected to them from any transparent object is harmful too.”

  I remembered the night at the coffee shop when Kyra smacked one upside the head with the glass door and I nodded in understanding.

  Much of this unfamiliar concept of angels and demons remained hazy, but pieces of their story were starting to fit together in my mind. My eager brain began to make leaps on its own to connect thoughts and ideas I wasn’t sure went together. If the things Gregory and Kyra were telling me could help explain some of the strange, enigmatic events I’d witnessed with each of them, why couldn’t the same things also explain some of the strange events I’d experienced with other people?

  I immediately thought of Patrick, and a spark of hope lit up my face. “So, since I’m not the only one with this vision like I thought I was, can Patrick see the shadows too?”

  Kyra and Gregory exchanged apprehensive glances, and Kyra sighed as she lowered her head. “Patrick used to be a light warrior like me. He was even trained by Gregory a year before he trained me. We us
ed to fight together…” She lifted her head and smiled sadly. “We were good friends.”

  Her smile faded as frustration gradually replaced sorrow. “But about a year ago, Donovan, one of the demon chiefs, came to him because he’d seen what a great fighter he was. He wanted to manipulate him and use his talents for his own dark purposes.”

  I shook my head, refusing to believe it. “But why would Patrick do that? Why would he leave you?”

  “Donovan promised him popularity and power, and I guess it worked. Ironically, though, the people they get to work for them are called dark servants. As their name suggests, they have no true power or freedom. They’re only pawns of the darkness. Their job is to corrupt and destroy while ours is to encourage virtue and uplift.” A hint of pride crept into her voice as she mentioned her job description, but it was short-lived. “We tried to talk sense back into him after he switched sides. But once the shadows got word he was even communicating with us, they started blackmailing him. They threatened to come after his family if he left them.”

  Gregory added, “We’d lost word of his whereabouts until he showed up at the school with you.”

  Their explanation made so much sense it hurt, and my eyes burned with repressed, disappointed tears. “So what exactly was he doing here with me?”

  “Patrick’s job here with you was slightly more specific,” Kyra said. “The demons had found out about your vision. Also that Gregory had moved in under the guise of your teacher. They sent Patrick to corrupt or blackmail you to get you on their side and become one of them—a dark servant.”