Hopeless Hero_A Bad Boy Military Romance

by Nicole Elliot

  “You got all that from just one conversation?”

  Zane shrugged. “It was a good conversation.”

  “It was,” I agreed. “I’m glad we decided to do this.”

  “I’m just glad you said yes. I really didn’t think you would.”

  “Why?”

  “Because a part of you still hates me,” he answered bluntly.

  “Hate isn’t the right word.”

  “What word would you use then?” he asked, his eyes fixed on mine.

  “Let’s order our food before we get into the heavy stuff,” I suggested, trying to keep my tone lighthearted. But Zane’s face told me he knew I was avoiding the question, and he was just being kind enough to let me.

  We ordered wine and nibbled breadsticks while waiting for our food. Our conversation stayed light as we discussed our families. He told me about his parents moving out-of-state, and I told him that Allie had had another baby who was now almost four. He talked and I listened, and then I talked and he listened, our conversation falling into an easy and unassuming rhythm that put me at ease.

  It wasn’t until our plates were cleared and the dessert ordered that things once again turned serious.

  “Alicia,” Zane said, “I want you to know that despite everything, I still care about you. You may not believe it, but I never stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

  I watched his eyes while he spoke and knew he meant every word. My fear escalated as I thought of the secret I was keeping from him. Over the years, I’d told myself that it was better if he never knew. I’d reassured myself over and over again that it was for the best. But sitting there with him enjoying a plate of cannoli and listening to him say how much he still cared for me, my resolve began to weaken.

  For the first time, I considered telling him everything.

  “Can I ask you that question again?” he asked, his words pulling me out of my head. “About hating me?”

  I blinked a couple times and frowned. I laughed weakly. “I really don’t hate you, Zane. Not even close.”

  “Then how do you feel about me these days?”

  “Well,” I said, slowly, “when you left, I was mad. And hurt. It felt like our entire relationship was just passing time for you. Like you were just using me as a distraction until Savage Soldiers started taking up all your time.”

  “That’s not—”

  “Let me finish,” I said. “When I moved to New York, I was able to get some distance from this town and from the memories I had of you. I knew then that I never hated you. There were times when I wished I did, but I couldn’t. You can’t hate someone when you spent so much time loving them. I think what I felt was just resentment. I resented you for getting out first. For leaving before I could. I resented you for not asking me to go with you, and for not waiting to go with me.”

  “What would you have said if I asked you to go?”

  “I don’t know…I think back then, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for you.”

  Zane’s eyes closed for a fraction of a second. When they reopened, I could see the pain he’d been hiding finally rise to the surface. Without thinking, I reached across the table and took his hand. He stroked my palm with his thumb.

  We sat in silence, holding hands and staring at each other for what felt like hours. I knew he was remembering the same things I was—all those nights together in my room, in his room, or in our cars. Just the slightest touch made those desires flood back to the surface for us both. There was a familiar glint in his eyes, letting me know he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

  CHAPTER 18

  Zane

  “Thank you for walking me home,” Alicia said with a shy smile. We stood awkwardly at the edge of her driveway.

  “Alicia,” I said breathlessly.

  “Please,” she said. “We can’t, okay? We can’t go there.”

  “Why not?” I took a step toward her. “I know you feel it too. You feel that spark between us. I know you do.”

  “Of course I do, but that doesn’t change anything.”

  “Doesn’t it?” I asked. “Because for me, it changes everything.”

  “How?”

  “Knowing you still feel that way—knowing you still want me…It changes everything.”

  I watched Alicia’s face for any sign of a reaction. The second our hands had touched over that table at Ricci’s, I knew where we would end up. There was something between us. Something primal and intense. Our attraction could never be ignored and now that we were once again in each other’s lives, ignoring it wasn’t even worth an attempt; it would never work. I knew that, and judging from the hungry look in Alicia’s eyes, she did too.

  I reached over and wrapped my arm around her waist. My fingers trailed along the waistline of her skirt as I pulled her roughly along. I led us around the side of the house and into the backyard.

  “What are you doing?” she hissed.

  “You know exactly what I’m doing,” I said with a mischievous grin.

  “My parents are home!”

  “That’s why we’re going to the guest house. I’m assuming it’s still empty? Used only for storage? The perfect place for a nightcap.”

  “Yes, but…”

  I stopped walking and turned to face Alicia head on. My hands rested on her hips as I pulled her closer. “If this isn’t what you want, I’ll go,” I said. “Just tell me.”

  Alicia’s breathing was irregular as she laid her hands on my chest. She traced my muscles with her fingers and I could see the wheels in her head turning. The way she stroked my chest through my shirt was deliciously familiar; it was her way of telling me how badly she wanted to feel my skin against hers.

  “Zane,” she growled.

  It was all the encouragement I needed. I lifted her off her feet and carried her up the stairs to the door of the guest house. I shoved it open and stepped inside with her still in my arms.

  When I set her down, she stood on her tiptoes to stare into my eyes. The door swung shut behind us and we continued looking at each other, neither of us moving or speaking.

  It had been years since we’d been together and yet, in that moment, it felt like no time had passed at all. I could see the familiar flash in her blue eyes that told me to kiss her.

  I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and pulled her against me. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

  I wanted to remember every moment of this night. I wanted to memorize the feeling of her arms around me and her lips against mine…

  We moved slowly, and when our lips finally touched, I sighed deeply. A shot of electricity went through my body, starting at my head and propelling its way down to my toes. Every inch of my skin was on fire.

  I deepened the kiss, my tongue sliding inside her mouth. She groaned, her lips moving fast against mine. My hands moved from her waist to her hair, where I tangled my fingers in her dark curls while she raked her nails down my back. We were both running out of breath, but refused to break the kiss.

  Alicia moved her hands to my chest, her fingers frantically searching for the buttons on my shirt. She unbuttoned them one-by-one, her hands working at lightning speed. She then shoved the shirt off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. When she pulled herself away from my lips, she wasted no time before kissing her way down my neck and my chest, her tongue roaming freely over my hard muscles.

  My head rolled back and I stared at the ceiling while she moved lower. When she reached the waistline of my jeans, I pulled her face back to mine. I didn’t want to rush anything; I wanted this night to last forever.

  I kissed her passionately while I lifted her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I carried her to the couch against the back wall. There were boxes everywhere, but I’d been in that guest house enough times to maneuver a smooth path around them. When we reached the couch, I threw her down and climbed on top of her.

  I buried my face in her neck and kissed her relentlessly. She lifted one leg a
nd threw it over my back. I grabbed her thigh, dug my fingers into her skin, and moved back to her lips, kissing her again and again while my hand worked its way up her skirt. When I gripped her ass, she moaned into my mouth and rolled us over. She straddled me easily, sitting up just long enough to pull her shirt off and throw it on the floor.

  In an instant, I sat up and unhooked her bra. I’d waited so long to see her perfect breasts again, I couldn’t wait another second. When my eyes fell on her bare skin, I growled and flipped her onto her back. My mouth found one nipple and my fingers played with the other as she writhed with pleasure beneath me.

  Wanting to taste every inch of her, I trailed my tongue down her stomach until I reached her skirt. I ripped it from her body and quickly removed her panties. I glanced up at her face and saw that her eyes were sparked with desire. She breathed heavily, one hand tangled in her hair and her body rocking under mine.

  Just the sight of her naked sent me over the top. Without a second thought, I ducked my head down and went to work between her legs. Alicia let out a soft squeal as her body reacted to the sensations I created. Her hips lifted off the couch and I squeezed her ass hard while I continued licking her.

  She moaned louder. “Oh my god,” she whispered.

  I could tell she was trying to keep her voice down, but that was the last thing I wanted. I worked faster, pressing my tongue harder against her until her moans were louder than ever. Her thighs tightened and her fingers pulled desperately at my hair.

  “Zane,” she growled. “Oh god…”

  The sound she made when she released was guttural and animalistic. My erection pressed painfully against my jeans.

  Alicia sat up and pulled me roughly to my feet. She undid my belt, yanked it free, and unbuttoned my pants. I kicked off my jeans and underwear, and her hands were on me instantly.

  She pushed me back on the couch with one hand while her other stroked my penis. She then straddled me, grinning that devilish grin I knew so well. Her tongue was in my mouth in an instant. She kissed me until I couldn’t breathe and my heart threatened to break free from my chest.

  When she pulled away, she slid down to kneel on the floor in front of me. Her tongue trailed the length of my penis, setting my entire body on fire. I couldn’t even think straight. I stared at her as she teased me slowly. She was sexier than anything I’d ever seen.

  “Come here.” I picked her up and laid her on her back. Her eyes locked on mine as she spread her legs apart, ready for me.

  I braced myself over her, watching her face as I slid inside of her. She exhaled sharply and pulled my face down to hers. The way she kissed was more intense now. More desperate. I returned it tenfold.

  Our bodies moved together seamlessly. I didn’t know where I ended or where she began. We were one entity as our hips thrusted wildly against each other. Panting, our hands gripped each other’s bodies passionately.

  I wrapped my arms around Alicia’s back and lifted us both up. Still inside of her, I sat her on top of me.

  She didn’t need any more encouragement than that. She held tight to my shoulders and bounced hard on top of me. I buried my face in her breasts while gripping her hips.

  “Holy shit,” she moaned.

  “Alicia,” I whispered against her skin, “my God, I missed you.”

  She reared her head back and let out a scream of pleasure. Watching her was more than I could take. I felt a flood of ecstasy and my legs shook uncontrollably.

  She collapsed against me, sweaty and shaking. I held her tightly, letting the waves of pleasure wash over us both.

  When we finally pulled apart, I laid down on the couch and pulled her with me. She rested her head on my chest just as she’d done a thousand times before, but this time, it meant more. We had spent so much time apart, I hadn’t known if we would ever find our way back to each other.

  “I can’t believe that just happened,” I said with a small laugh.

  “Yes, you can,” Alicia argued. “You knew it was going to happen at the restaurant.”

  “Okay so maybe I had plans,” I admitted. “But even I didn’t know it would be like that. God woman, you almost killed me.”

  She laughed and placed a gentle kiss on my chest. I stroked her hair absentmindedly as we fell into an easy silence. It wasn’t long before my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep.

  CHAPTER 19

  Zane

  “Zane,” Alicia whispered softly.

  My eyes flickered open to find her standing in front of me, fully clothed. I frowned and sat up quickly. “What happened?” I asked with a yawn.

  “We fell asleep. It’s almost morning. You should go.”

  “I don’t want to,” I complained, reaching out to her. She stepped backward and folded her arms across her chest.

  “Seriously,” she said. “Come on. No one can know you’re here. You need to leave before anyone wakes up.”

  “Okay, okay.” I raised my hands, surrendering. I stood slowly and got dressed even slower. I could tell Alicia was annoyed with my pace, but I literally couldn’t move any faster. My legs still felt like jelly.

  “Alicia,” I began, but she cut me off with a look.

  “Now isn’t the time to talk about it,” she said sharply.

  “Talk about what?”

  “What just happened.”

  “I didn’t know there was anything to talk about,” I said truthfully. “I’m just really glad it happened. I thought you were too.”

  Her expression softened and she walked over to me, kissing me lightly. “Of course, I’m happy. How could you ever doubt that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re kicking me out like a bad one-night stand.”

  “I’m not…” she began, clearly frustrated. “I’m not kicking you out. I just don’t want to have to explain things to my parents. You can understand that, can’t you?”

  “I can, but that doesn’t mean I want to leave you.”

  “And I don’t want you to,” she said. “Trust me, I wish we could stay in here forever. That would be amazing. To just hide out here with you all day.”

  “Then let’s do it.” I grinned and pulled her to me, kissing her cheek playfully. “I’m serious. Let’s do it. Let’s lock the door and just hide out. No one will ever know we’re here. You can call your parents and tell them you’re out for the day. They’ll think you’re wandering around town or something. They’ll be none the wiser.”

  “You know that won’t work.”

  “Then what about my place? Come on. Let’s just sneak out of here and go to my place. There’s no one there to interrogate us. It would give us some blissful alone time. All day, all night.”

  Alicia groaned and buried her face in my chest. I stroked her hair gently and waited for her answer. I knew she wouldn’t agree to it, but I hoped anyway.

  “I can’t,” she finally said and pulled away. “I have to be here today. My family hasn’t seen me in a long time and—”

  “Neither have I,” I pointed out.

  “Don’t do that,” she warned. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  I sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll drop it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But what about tonight?” I asked.

  She raised her eyebrows. “What?”

  “Can we go out again?”

  “I should really have dinner with my family,” she said evasively.

  “Then what about drinks afterwards?”

  She smirked. “Okay, drinks at Kellan’s. Ten o’clock?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  I grabbed her hand and we quietly left the guest house. The sun was just beginning to rise as we snuck down the steps and across the backyard. When we reached the end of the driveway, I pulled her in for one last kiss before she disappeared inside. When she pushed the door closed behind her, I stayed on the driveway for a few minutes, staring at the front door.

  A smile stayed plastered on my face for the rest of the day.

&
nbsp; Alicia Joppa was mine once again. Mission accomplished.

  CHAPTER 20

  Alicia

  “That was delicious,” I said.

  My mom smiled appreciatively and began clearing the table. I moved to help her, but she waved me away. “Go sit with your father,” she said. “The two of you have barely talked since you’ve been here.”

  She was right, but it didn’t make sitting back down at the table any easier. My dad looked up at me impassively. I slid into my chair and smiled tentatively, waiting for him to speak.

  “So,” he said, clearing his throat loudly, “how are things at work?”

  “They’re good,” I said, grateful he chose such an easy subject. “I’m busier than ever and the partners seem to really trust me now.”

  “Well, that’s something,” he said simply. He took a sip of his iced tea and leaned back in his chair.

  “It is,” I agreed. “When I first started, I only had one or two cases every six months. But now, they throw almost everything my way! I’m so busy that they actually had to hire an assistant for me.”

  “Your mother told me. Some young guy. Aaron something.”

  “Adam,” I corrected. “He’s great, Dad. You would really like him.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine.”

  We fell silent and I glanced around the kitchen. My mother was putting food away and Elizabeth was sitting across from me shoveling pie into her mouth so fast I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Slow down, kid,” I told her. She glanced up at me with narrowed eyes, but slowed her pace nonetheless. To be so young, she was already developing an intense attitude, but it was part of what made me love her so much.

  “Knows what she likes, that one,” my dad said with an approving smile. “I bet you don’t eat like this in New York, do you Lizzy?”

  “She eats fine,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. This was exactly why I didn’t want to sit and talk with my father.