With that thought, he leaned in and closed the gap.
At first her lips were hesitant, but the softness of them then melted into his and Adeline felt eager against him. Richard sucked gently on her bottom lip and felt her hand coming around the back of his neck just as his planted firmly on her waist, just above her smooth hips.
Adeline leaned toward him, and Richard pulled her further into the kiss. He counted in his mind with each meeting and parting of their mouths. They were not just allowing for one gentle, shy kiss. No, they were enjoying the release of everything that had built up to this.
Richard flashed in his mind to their first dance and even before, when he had approached her at the wedding. And even before, when Douglas had pointed to her from across the room and told him that the beautiful woman across from them was Grace’s cousin and a woman of Dunmore.
Even before, when he had dreamt of finding a wife that would make his parents proud, but more importantly, would be a woman of strength, bravery, and beauty.
Adeline was quiet, reserved, and seemingly shy, but he had seen her boldness. He had seen her bravery. In this moment, there was nothing shy about her.
Richard raised a hand to brush along her jaw and it seemed as though Adeline wanted to devour him as much as he wished to devour her.
Finally, he realized that he had to stop. If he didn’t, he was going to push for more, and that was something he didn’t believe she was ready for. He couldn’t put her in that position.
No matter what he desired, he knew that Adeline was a woman worth waiting for, a woman who deserved the utmost commitment. He wanted to give her that commitment. He wanted to ask her there and then if she would be his, to beg her to trust him with her future. It was selfish, but it was all he desired. Could he bring himself to do it?
First, however, was the knowledge that he was slowly pulling her closer to an edge from which they would not easily return.
For that reason alone, reluctantly and sadly, Richard slowly pulled his lips back from Adeline’s and stared into her eyes with the flame still burning.
A Quiet Ride To Mullview
“Thank ye,” Adeline said without looking in his eyes. Richard had been quiet since the kiss as they gathered a bit of food for his journey back to Fort Amswold and then mounted the horse for the journey.
Richard swung up behind her again. “It’s nothing,” he replied before resuming silence.
Adeline felt his arms again as he reached them around her for the reins. It was agonizing having felt them not an hour before so passionately taking hold of her. Yet, here he was, quiet and unmoved.
Her heart stirred in a way she had never believed to be possible. All the talk from her cousins of their love and this was what it felt like? This had to be love. This sickening feeling of desperation. Did it get better? Surely no woman would wed a man if it always felt like this.
Yes, it must be different altogether when the man and woman had declared their love for one another. There was no sense in binding oneself to another person if it felt like this for all time.
Adeline gently slumped into a more comfortable position. It happened to cause her to lean further into Richard. Feeling him at her back sent shivers through her and she sat straight again.
“Are you alright?” he asked quietly at her movement.
“Aye, forgive me. Just trying to get comfortable,” she replied.
Adeline tried her best to think of other things, but two ideas continued to return to her. One was, of course, the desire she felt for Richard even now. The other was the trauma of the previous night and how she had seen so much horror.
She was looking forward to hearing from her friends and ensuring they were alright. She needed to hear their voices, see their faces, and know they were safe.
Adeline tried to focus on this worry over the other. It was far more serious, she knew. It was far more important to be sure that her friends were alive than the silliness of being in love with this man who was drawing away from her in silence.
Just like that, her thoughts returned to Richard. A never-ending cycle since the previous night and since the kiss in the morning it had only intensified.
Did he feel regret? Was it because of her Jacobite heritage or was it just her that he regretted? Their whole time together had built up to that kiss; it was not wholly unexpected. He seemed as if he had made a grave mistake by it though.
Adeline felt a mixture of sadness and anger at that thought. She was too lost in her own mind. She had to try and distract herself. “What is yer steed’s name?” she asked, as if it had any importance at all.
She felt Richard’s smile in his reply. “We call him Colonel Pompous.”
Adeline laughed. “Sounds about right…”
Their conversation did not last long and Adeline was sorry for it. It truly seemed that Richard had no desire to talk. He was clearly in some form of angst. How could she endure an entire journey with no conversation? She would soon be separated from him and this was their final chance to learn about one another.
Would he really be so callous as to kiss her and then seemingly forget her in the next moment? Had she gone from a desire to a duty in such a short time?
Thoughts continued to swarm in Adeline’s mind, but she could no longer attempt to voice any of it to Richard. She knew she simply had to let it go and give him space. He was clearly bound by duty, perhaps he truly regretted the kiss, but it didn’t matter any longer.
There was nothing more to be done.
At one point, Adeline heard him sigh from behind her and he readjusted his position.
With that motion, she felt her body sink closer into his once more. His chest was against her back. It caused more of those sensations to run through her. However, finally she noted that his hands were going slack on the reins.
He had fallen asleep. Slumped into her, he was resting his eyes.
Adeline didn’t mind so much. Whether he was awake or asleep, it felt good to have his body so near. It made up for the distance she felt with his words. Adeline felt his closeness and indulged while he slept.
The afternoon had come upon them and Adeline was growing hungry. She didn’t want to wake Richard, but just ahead there was a village and she needed food.
“Lieutenant Holloway?” she asked in a soft voice, moving her back enough to wake him.
He grumbled for a moment before fully becoming conscious and sitting upright on the steed. “What is it? Are we there?” he asked.
“No, I’m just rather hungry. Do ye mind if we stop for a quick bite?” she asked.
She heard his hesitation and assumed he was rather desperate to be rid of her, for her to leave his side and allow him the freedom to return home without her.
“I suppose,” he replied finally.
“Thank ye,” she said in a small voice, as if it crushed her that he was not more eager to spend the time with her.
Adeline knew they were only an hour away from her home, but her stomach was grumbling and she was beginning to feel light-headed. She should have eaten as much for breakfast that morning as she had for dinner the night before. She had been foolish not to do it.
They settled in at a small pub and Adeline indulged in her fish and chips. Richard didn’t seem overly hungry, but he ordered the same just to appease her and ended up giving her half his food anyway.
“Ye dinnae like it?” she asked.
“Oh no, it’s very good. I eat it all the time back home too. I’m just not overly hungry,” he replied, seemingly still distracted.
Adeline didn’t want to fight again, but she was completely confused and heartbroken by his attitude. Why was he acting this way?
She had to take deep breaths to control her anger before it erupted. Clearly, he regretted their kiss. He had taken advantage of her when the moment suited him and expected her to forget it completely and move on as if it had never happened. How could he be so cruel?
By withdrawing from her, all he had done was to leave h
er anguished and angered. She couldn’t decide which emotion was more powerful. Nevertheless, she would not let this go. She would not easily forgive this heartless Hanoverian fool who had used her thus.
Had Richard saved her only so that he would be alone with her and take advantage? Had that been his purpose all along? Was it really worth it for him to endure so much?
Or was he worse than those violent men? Was he someone who would intentionally set out to wound not her body, but her emotions, for his own personal gain and entertainment?
“Ye ken, ye might as well head back to yer camp. I can walk from here,” she said as she finished his plate of chips.
“Why would I leave you to do that? There is no sense in me forcing you to go at it alone when I have a perfectly good horse and we are not far from your home,” Richard said kindly.
“Aye, but I ken that ye have plenty of yer own life to live and things that need to be done,” she said vaguely.
“You mean like going back to a camp where I am forced to do things against my own conscience?” he asked.
Then Adeline saw a look come over his face, as if he had just realized something.
“Oh. I am so sorry. I never even thought about it. Are you worried how you will be perceived if I drop you at the castle? Do you think they will judge you for riding with a Hanoverian?” he asked.
Adeline gave him a confused expression. “I never thought any such thing. I havnae any idea how they would respond to that and honestly, I dinnae care. But I dinnae want to be a distraction for ye if ye have other things that are of import to ye,” she replied, mildly irritated that he had tried to turn the problem around on her.
“I have nothing of greater import,” he said in his mild-mannered way. He had such an even temper.
Adeline wished in part that he could have greater flaws. That he would be angered more easily, that he would prove himself useless, that he would leave her stranded so she had something to be angry about.
Typically she kept her own emotions in check, aside from her shyness. However, there was something about Richard that gave her a great need to push him away. Especially if he was doing that to her just now.
“Well, then, I suppose ye can accompany me the rest of the way,” she conceded.
“Thank you for allowing me to do so,” he responded in a way that was far too polite and formal for Adeline’s liking.
The barkeep came over just then and took Richard’s plate and then Adeline’s. He glanced between the two of them and gave a ‘harrumph’ of disapproval.
Adeline allowed herself to glare and opened her mouth to speak before Richard stopped her with his politeness.
“Thank you very much. The food was delicious and you run a fine establishment. Please give the cook my gratitude,” he said charmingly, melting all the barkeep’s hatred in an instant.
The burly man smiled and preened at the compliment. “I’ll do just that, laddie. He’s a fine cook and ye’re right, I have a great place here. We’d do well if ye would feel free to share about us with yer lads,” he said, changing his demeanor entirely.
“I will do just that,” Richard promised. “I know many men who would love a good plate of fish and chips like this. You have my word that I will tell them about you.”
The man walked away with his head held a bit higher and Richard smiled at his own use of diplomacy.
Adeline watched it all unfold and her admiration only grew. How was it that this man was so skilled at getting everyone to like him so well? “That was rather impressive,” she said with a grin.
“I have learned that it is a better use of energy to gain friends by being a friend than to worry about counting your enemies. As a soldier, I have enough of those. So why not concentrate on being a friend to them and watching as they turn their minds about me?” he mused.
“Aye, well, with that done, we had best pay and move on to yer next set of enemies,” Adeline said, needing to get back to the castle as quickly as possible.
The more time she spent alone with Richard, the more he consumed her. In addition, her wisdom was finally winning out. She had to see her friends and hear about what they’d experienced at the wedding. She had to make sure they knew about the safety of the others. Deep inside, below all of her desires and wonder, she knew that this had to be her priority.
With full stomachs and minds filled with questions, Adeline and Richard left the pub and mounted Colonel Pompous.
“About an hour’s ride, you think?” Richard asked.
“Aye, shouldnae be much farther than that if we keep our pace. I’m certain there will be much commotion upon our arrival, but dinnae let it startle ye. Everything will be fine,” she promised.
Inside, Adeline felt that nothing was fine at all. Nothing would be fine until she knew how Richard felt about her.
The Question He Could Not Ignore
“No more than ten minutes before we see the castle,” Adeline said, startling Richard. They had been silent since leaving the village where they had eaten their lunch. His nerves were frayed and he had no idea what to say or do.
The whole day had been confusing for him and he didn’t know quite what to think at this point. So much had happened. He didn’t want to be selfish when he understood that Adeline had experienced such trauma. He didn’t want to push for anything that he wanted when he knew not what her thoughts were.
How could he ask her? How could he risk rejection from her?
Here he was, preparing to leave Adeline at the castle, and yet he still had so much to say. Why had he been unable to speak thus far? He had been so thrown by his rapid affections for Adeline and spent the whole day since their kiss trying to control himself.
He also worried greatly. What if she was unhappy? She had fought with him so much and there was every chance that she would not be able to overcome her knowledge of the fact that they were enemies.
Had the kiss only been the result of tension? For him it had held such deep meaning, but he could not be aware of her feelings.
He had to speak; he had to say something before they parted. She had to know how he felt. Would he be selfish asking for what he really wanted? Was it wrong of him? They scarcely knew one another. Then again, weren’t all couples that way?
Did anyone ever truly know the person they loved?
The anxiety came upon him even stronger realizing that their goodbyes might be in front of her entire family and clan. Richard couldn’t allow that. It was far too uncomfortable a thought even to consider.
No, he had to tell her that he loved her and he had to do it before they reached the castle.
More than that. More than love. He wanted to marry this woman. It seemed nonsensical that he would want that after knowing her such a short time, but here he was, needing her to be his. Forever. Through anything.
“I told ye,” Adeline declared as they came up over the crest of the hill.
Richard looked beyond them and saw the looming height of Dunmore. They would be there in no time. Worse yet, it would not be long before they were spotted coming. Richard saw the watchtowers ahead and knew that there was little time left.
He inhaled deeply and mustered his courage. It was difficult, as it was a challenge to try and convince himself that he was not being foolish, that this was the wisest choice for him. “Adeline,” he began.
“Aye?”
“Please, we must stop here,” he said urgently.
“What do ye mean? Why should we do that?” she asked.
“Just please allow me to stop,” he said.
Adeline sighed and nodded back to him.
Richard pulled on the reins and Colonel Pompous slowed to a halt. He quickly dismounted and offered a hand for Adeline to follow him. He saw the anger in her face, assumed what she must be thinking. However, it didn’t matter. Within moments, she would know everything in his heart, she would understand what he felt and he would say everything he needed to.
“What is it?” she asked hostilely.
&nb
sp; “Miss MacGowan, Adeline, if I may be so bold,” he began. “I cannot bring you to the castle. I cannot allow you to risk yourself by being seen with me, a Hanoverian, after the truce has come to a close. I cannot allow your clansmen to think poorly of you for being with me.”
Adeline opened her mouth to speak, but Richard held up a hand to silence her.
“Please, allow me to continue,” he requested.
Adeline nodded and closed her mouth.
“I also cannot simply drop you here and leave you wondering what everything meant. Wondering why I rescued you, why I kissed you, why I have been so uncooperative today. I cannot merely leave you and say nothing of what is to come and what my feelings hold for you,” he continued.
Adeline watched him carefully and Richard saw in her eyes that she was melting a little under his words. It gave him the courage to continue.
“The truth is that when I rescued you, I was searching for you. I had seen Arabella and it made me wonder whether or not you were present. I could not simply ride away from the fight knowing that you might be there. I could not risk leaving you behind nor could I accept the thought of never seeing you again. I would have spent weeks wondering about your safety until finally I made my way to Dunmore to find you,” he finished.
Well, he hadn’t finished yet, but he needed to read her for a response, or allow her to speak, or whatever it might be that could give him a sense of how she was feeling.
Adeline seemed unable to speak, but he saw that she was overwhelmed by his words, that she heard everything she wished to hear from him. Richard knew that he had every opportunity to continue, but before he could, he had to take a moment and simply gaze on her.
His eyes drifted from the pale blonde roots of her hair to the perfectly formed eyebrows and into those deep brown eyes surrounded by thick, black lashes. His eyes rested over her softly rounded cheeks and the pointed nose that hovered over strawberry colored lips that met with a gently downturned angle. Beneath them, her chin rounded and he could not keep from looking at her.
Kidnapped Highland Bride (Ladies of Dunmore Series) (A Medieval Scottish Romance Story) Page 6