Manservant

by Shari J. Ryan

  “I’m a big believer in showing instead of telling,” he mutters before devouring my lips within his. I’ve always enjoyed the art of kissing, especially in the form of showing and not telling. It’s the first rule I learned in journalism. Always show what you feel.

  I had a log of notes about guys I’ve kissed—who sucked, who was okay, and who was good for a second kiss. None of the descriptions I wrote would ever make me go back for a second kiss, but I can already feel the description of this one blooming into words that are floating through my mind.

  I have avoided looking at Liam’s mouth, knowing how perfectly kissable his lips are, but it isn’t just his lips that have me convinced I don’t need air to breathe. It’s the way he’s moving his lips, the perfect pressure, the way he pauses to look at me briefly as if he needs to gauge his progress by the look on my face, the flushness in my cheeks and the loss of breath. Every time he dips back in, his lips fall on mine, perfectly centered without lingering anywhere else. The movements evolve from slow and gentle to wild, erratic, and rough to the peak where pleasure could be confused with pain as if he were hungry and I was the last piece of food left on earth.

  I gasp for air as his cock presses into my hip, and . . . that is a boner. Holy shit. He clutches my chin within his palm as I’m mentally picturing the beast in his pants. His hand releases into a gentle grasp as his lips press against mine once more before dragging the tip of his tongue along the rim of my bottom lip, causing a tremor between my legs, and I strongly suspect he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. “You needed to know the difference before you go out tonight.”

  “Difference?” I say through a wheezy breath.

  A cocky smile that enhances his chiseled jaw takes over his face. “I don’t think I need to clarify.” He doesn’t need to clarify, not even a little. That was a kiss worth writing about, reading about, re-reading, dreaming, and feeling instead of just seeing a bunch of words describing lips on lips.

  “I’m going to need my . . . um . . . that thing you stole from me because . . .”

  He reaches into his back pocket and tosses it onto the pillow beside me. “Music to my ears,” Liam says, hopping up as he shakes around the waistband of his pants, probably to conceal his massiveness that might or might not still be standing at attention. “Enjoy your pizza.”

  He turns his back to me and slowly makes his way to the bedroom door, grabbing the bowl of condoms on the way out.

  Did that just happen? I turn my head to the right, finding my Shermanator. I grab it and quickly tug at my shorts quickly. There’s no way I can go out tonight feeling the way I do without relief.

  Once in place, I hit the little switch to turn it on.

  Again, I hit the little switch to turn it on.

  I shake it around a little.

  It’s dead.

  I remove my little red friend and unscrew the back to find the goddamn batteries missing.

  This is why I’m writing a book about the hot assholes in the world.

  “He totally sabotaged my date, Jade.” I switch the phone to my other ear as I pull out onto the highway.

  “I can’t believe this. Holy cannoli, Liam Hollow kissed you?” she asks with shock, using his last name as if he were the big bad quarterback for our high school football team. “When I said he’d come around, I didn’t mean that much.” I want to tell her there was no one coming anywhere.

  “He’s been teasing me for days, more like torturing me. I got the hints he was sending, but I was almost positive he was just messing with me more than anything else.”

  “Liam doesn’t tease anyone,” Jade counters quickly. “He’s usually just quiet and anti-social.”

  “Then, why did you say he’d come around?” I ask her.

  Jade giggles against a muffled sound on the phone, and I think I hear kissing. Oh, come on, really? “Jade . . .”

  “I’m sorry, sorry. Cleary, wait,” she giggles again. “I said that to ease the aggravation you’d have to deal with while working with him. He’s got a stick up his butt.”

  “Oh my God, Jade. Cleary is going to go back to Sterling with this.”

  “I’ll make sure he doesn’t. Look, go enjoy your date with Sterling because one silly kiss does not equal commitment.” That was not one silly kiss.

  I glance into the mirror on my visor, briefly catching the reflection of my lips and somehow still feeling the sensation of Liam’s. “It wasn’t just any kiss.”

  “But your kiss with Sterling last night was?” Jade asks, trying to compare the two.

  Knowing Cleary is sitting right there is making this awkward and uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Jade. I don’t know what I think right now.”

  “Well, it’s not the worst decision to have to make.” I can hear her smiling on the other end of the call. “Just have fun. That’s why you’re here, remember? Your dad is going to be okay, especially if he’s staying with my dad. Everything is going to be fine.” Everyone keeps saying that, but I’m not feeling it.

  “Okay, well . . . just don’t get yourself pregnant,” I tell her.

  “Ahhh, yes, I’ll be safe,” she giggles.

  “Tell Cleary I said hi. I’m pulling into a parking spot now, so I gotta run.”

  “Later, girly.”

  I drop my phone into my purse and glance back into the mirror one last time to apply a little gloss to my lips.If there were two men left on this earth, and I had to choose one, the burning question would be hanging over my head as it is now. I’ve always given myself the option of a good-looking guy with a shitty personality or a semi-doable guy with a decent personality. They are low standards, I know, but if I have to choose, I think a decent personality should win. However, I’m stuck with two good-looking guys. One has asshole qualities, and I’m still unsure about the other. I guess that’s what I need to figure out, but if Sterling turns out to be anything like the guys in my past, I might make a life-long commitment to Shermanator.

  Stepping out of my car, I tug my dress down over my hips and walk across the sidewalk to the outdoor pizza restaurant with decorative white lights encasing the interior. There’s a two-piece jazz band playing in the back corner and votive candles placed in the center of each table. It’s adorable and a pretty perfect night for dinner outside. The chatter is loud, drowning out the sound of nearby waves, but the salty smell is as pungent as ever, and even if I were sitting here alone, this could be my definition of perfect.

  “Guppy,” Sterling’s voice sounds in the distance, and I turn in every direction, searching for him, but with so many people in the area, it’s hard to see until he’s standing in front me, which he is now. He places his hand on my hip and guides me to the entrance without saying much.

  The hostess leads us to a small table, and Sterling pulls out my chair. That should earn him at least one point or something. I need to come up with a point system if I’m going to write a book about all of this. Although if I create a point system that allows me to rank every guy, my perfectionism might land me in a lifestyle like Jade’s dad with twelve cats and a furry couch.

  “Earth to Guppy,” Sterling sings.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head around as I grab the menu he’s reaching over to me. “I was just lost in thought.”

  “Hopefully, it was a good one about me,” he says alongside a flirtatious wink.

  I smile because I don’t know how to respond. I’m making this awkward. I made it clear last night that this was all too much too soon, and I caved this morning to piss Liam off. “How was your day?” I ask, blatantly changing the subject.

  “It was okay. Had to do some bookkeeping for my freelance business, but at least I got in some good waves this morning.” He sounds monotone, not so full of life like he has been the last few times I’ve been around him.

  “Well, that’s good,” I offer cheerfully.

  “Julia, you seem pretty distracted.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand, holding it within his. “Are you ok
ay? I was hoping to catch a glimpse of your smile tonight. I mean, it’s just sort of entrancing, so I guess I can blame you for my endless attempts to get your attention.” His words makes me melt a bit, but at the same time, Liam’s words about notches on bedposts and point systems are ringing loudly in my head. Is this his game? Not that I wasn’t just considering a point system too, but mine would be much different and for different reasons.

  “I think it’s just been a long, well just a hard kind of day.” A long, hard day. Long. Hard.

  “Well, maybe I can fix that.” I pull my hand from his because it feels too intimate. Yet, I kissed Liam just two hours ago and didn’t resist that.

  “I think I still want to know more about you,” I tell him, stalling against more flirting innuendos.

  A quiet sigh spills from Sterling’s lips, and he repositions his chair so he can lift one leg over his other without kicking me. “Let’s see here; I’m twenty-five. I think I told you I have three brothers. Cleary and I are the oldest, and the other two are twenty-two and eighteen. My parents have been married for twenty-eight years and both run a small gift shop together right outside of Ottawa. I’ve been surfing since I was seven and used to be competitive, but life got in the way, and it became more of a hobby than a lifestyle. I come here every summer to get my fill.” He glances down at his menu, creating a pause in his summarized autobiography. “I’ve had four girlfriends, and my last relationship ended about a year ago.”

  “Why’s that?” The question sort of flies from my mouth faster than I intended, but curiosity is eating away at me.

  “She cheated. It happens.”

  “And now you’re looking for Miss Right?”

  “Can I start you two off with something to drink?” A young waitress with a tan I’m jealous of, asks us.

  “I—” haven’t even looked at the menu. “A glass of your house white would be great.”

  “And for you, sir?”

  “Sam Adams, please.”

  “Great, I’ll be back in a minute for your order,” she says, tapping her pen down on her pad. The entire wait staff here looks below the age of seventeen. This would have been the best high school summer job. Instead, I was babysitting and collecting eggs at the chicken farm down the street to bring in some extra income to help save up for college. Not as much fun.

  “I’m not looking for ‘Miss Right,’ just taking life one day at a time, you know?” That’s kind of what I said last night, but he seemed to have a different thought on the matter when we were kissing. I’m not sure I’ve ever had such a hard time reading someone.

  “Yeah, I understand that.”

  “I know Liam has his claws in you.” Wow, okay. While I wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth, I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised to hear it after the awkwardness this morning.

  “I don’t think I’d say that.” I take a moment to breathe through this conversation and glance back down at the menu, remembering we’re here for pizza.

  “What do you like on your pizza?” Sterling asks. I can’t help but laugh at the question because of the expression people make when I recite my great pizza topping. “And you’re laughing, so this ought to be good. Don’t forget I’m a Canadian, eh. Pizza isn’t our staple, so go easy on me.”

  Before I have a chance to answer his question, my phone buzzes on the table. I snatch it up quickly, scared it might be Jade sending something inappropriate that I wouldn’t want Sterling to see, but when I look at the display, I don’t recognize the number.

  I open up the text and read:

  * * *

  Unknown Number: Have you seen any double A batteries lying around?”

  * * *

  Me: Huh? Who is this?

  * * *

  “Sorry, I think someone’s texting the wrong number,” I tell Sterling.

  * * *

  “No prob,” he says, looking back down at the menu.

  * * *

  Unknown Number: Oh, you know what? Never mind, I forgot, I found some earlier. I had to take them out of something, though, so they’re probably half dead. Do you think you could grab a pack on your way home?

  * * *

  Me: Goodbye, Liam.

  * * *

  Liam: Okay, I’ll just buzz you later, I guess.

  * * *

  Unbelievable. I drop my phone into my lap, more nervous now for it to light up with a message I don’t want Sterling to see. This guy doesn’t stop even for a second.

  I redirect my focus on Sterling who’s casually looking around, waiting for me to quit being rude.

  “So, you’ve kept me hanging with this weird topping of yours. What’s it going to be?”

  “We can just go with mushrooms and onions. How’s that?”

  “No, no, I need to know what you had in mind.”

  “Just one topping,” I tell him.

  “What is it, chocolate?” He laughs.

  “Ew, no.”

  “Well, what is it?” He seems intrigued, so I’ll bite.

  “Over-easy eggs.”

  Sterling drops his menu down to the table. “Nope, can’t do it. That’s gross, Guppy.”

  “Have you tried it?” I press.

  “Obviously not.”

  “Maybe you should. You might be surprised.”

  “Eh, I don’t know. Maybe on our third date, okay?” He looks grossed out, but he should know he didn’t pass one of my date tests. However, I do realize that I have spent more time setting up date tests and point systems than I’ve spent in an actual relationship this past year. All I had were a bunch of failed dates and low-graded guys to scratch off my list.

  “I’m kidding. Cheese is fine,” I say dryly.

  “Thank God, I was starting to worry about you there for a minute.” Over-easy egg on pizza is amazing but it isn’t for everyone, especially not for someone who isn’t willing to step outside their comfort zone or try something new for the sake of trying something new. That could potentially lead to a boring married life.

  The waitress returns with our drinks and Sterling orders a cheese pizza for us to split. “I couldn’t help but notice you were having a rough time at the beach earlier. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

  “Oh yeah, it’s fine.” I’m drained from it and can’t think about repeating the story again tonight.

  “Good. So, how did you and Jade meet?” He presses his elbows into the table and rests his chin on his folded hands. “You know what? No, this small talk stuff kind of sucks. I’m sorry.”

  I take a sip of my wine, finding my thoughts floating back to Liam in the lull as boredom grows between Sterling and me, whether he realizes it or not. It was Liam’s plan and it worked. “People learn about each other over time, I guess.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. Personally, I’d rather know the you who is sitting in front me at this moment—what you’re thinking right this second,” he says.

  “I’m starved,” I say with sort-of-fake laughter. “I guess that makes my mind a bit shallow.”

  “Guppies like shallow water, so it’s okay.”

  “Ha-ha, so funny.”

  The pizza comes out quickly and eating fills the blank spaces in our “in the now” conversation, though it doesn’t stop my vibrating phone from distracting me.

  I peer down while finishing the last of my pizza, and I find a picture message from the Unknown Caller known as Liam.

  It’s a picture of Shermanator with a—I tilt my head to the side to get a better look—condom hat and a drawn face. It’s tucked into bed, resting on my pillow.

  My teeth grind against each other with fury, knowing he’s crossed the line once again, and I’m not sure how much of this back and forth bullshit I can take before I lose my mind.

  I send him another message . . .

  Sterling handles the bill with our waitress while I wait for a response from Liam, but I don’t even get a “read” receipt of my text message. Damn him.

  “Are you all set?” Sterli
ng asks me.

  “Oh, yeah, the pizza was pretty great, huh?” I ask, trying to push Liam to the back of my head.

  “Yeah, it was good,” he says while looking down toward the sidewalk as we head toward our cars.

  We end up at my car first, and I stop in front of it, fidgeting with my keys. “Well, thank you for dinner. Next time it’s my treat, though. I had fun.” I think I may be lying.

  “I like the sound of next time, so I’ll take that, and it was my pleasure. So, what are you up to now?”

  I look down at my watch, just for effect. “I think I need to get some rest tonight after how long today was. It was a challenging day for sure.”

  “Cool, cool,” he says with a sense of discomfort. I think I totally let him down.

  I press up on my toes and wrap my arms around Sterling’s neck, giving him a hug, or what might feel like a slap on the face to him.

  I already know Sterling isn’t the type to give up, though, so as he leans in for a repeat of last night, I turn my face to the side without much thought. “I hope you have good waves tomorrow,” I tell him.

  He laughs, probably because that’s not what someone wishes for a surfer, or not in the way I said it, at least. “Thank you, and I hope you don’t get hit by any of them tomorrow.”

  He takes a few steps away from me as I head toward the edge of the curb. “Oh, wait, can I see your phone for a sec?” I ask.

  He reaches into his pocket for his phone and glances at the screen before clicking a few buttons. “What for?” he asks, retracing his steps toward me and handing it over.