by Nicole Hart
“Does that mean I can come see you? Do you want me to?” I didn’t want to overwhelm him with all my questions. But I had so many pent up, I craved some kind of answers.
“I’d like that.”
I wanted to turn this car around right now, but I knew that was impossible. I made a commitment to do this with Maxi. And I wanted to find Isaac of course. I needed to know he was okay. But being away from Logan gave me an emptiness in my chest that only he could fill. I missed him terribly, and I just wanted to touch him, hold him close to me and know for myself that he was okay.
“When?” I blurted out, the conflict of this timeframe in my mind was overtaken by the concept of seeing Logan.
“Well, you’re only allowed to come on certain hours and days. The next visitor time is on Monday, at five thirty, but it’s only an hour.” His voice carried a disappointed tone.
“I’ll be there,” I answered without a second thought. I knew I had to work Monday evening, but I would figure it out. The new girl was asking for extra hours, so I’d let her cover my shift. Hell, I’d walk right out of there if they didn’t let me switch. I needed to see Logan that badly, and nothing else mattered. I’d be at that hospital on Monday at five thirty, come rain or shine.
“Good, I really want to see you.” His voice dropped lower, almost into a whisper as I pressed the phone hard against my ear.
“Me too, Logan. Me too.” I bit my teeth into my bottom lip to try to distract the waterworks threatening to fall any second. I had to get through this conversation. I couldn’t let my weakness show. I had to be strong for Logan. He didn’t need to hear me blubbering through the phone. I wouldn’t allow my tears to give him a setback.
Suck up those fucking tears, Jessica.
The words spitting from my stepfather’s lips ran through my mind, but I pushed them away just as fast as they appeared. I wouldn’t let him mess with my head, especially since he hadn’t been part of my life for so many years. He didn’t deserve the space in my thoughts, and I refused to let him have it.
“So what are you up to?” he asked, and I knew he was trying to have a normal conversation, possibly a distraction from the environment he was currently in. I couldn’t blame him.
“Well, I’m driving actually.” I smiled, staring straight ahead at the long highway in front of me.
“Oh, I should let you go, you need to concentrate,” he said with a deep chuckle that made me want to cuddle into a ball and cradle the phone against me.
“I pulled over on the side of the road when I realized it was you.”
“Wait, how are you driving? I mean, what are you driving?” I could feel his smile against me, and the tears threatened to make an appearance once again.
I laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. The smile I couldn’t even see, on the other end of the line, what infectious.
“Maxi and I rented a car. She got a lead on Isaac, and we’re going to try to find him.”
“Your little brother? Is he okay?” His voice was laced with concern.
“We’re not really sure, but I hope so. If not, maybe we’ll be able to help him.” I looked over at Maxi who glanced up from her own phone and gave me a tiny smile.
“Just please be careful, okay?” This was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want him to worry about me or my safety. I needed him to concentrate on his own wellbeing.
“Oh, Logan, it’s totally fine. I promise. We’re only going to visit his ex-girlfriend. Don’t worry about me. Please.” I knew I left details out; Maxi and I planned to explore whatever we needed to in order to find him. But I couldn’t tell Logan that. He needed to focus on himself.
“Okay, good.” He sounded relieved, which rubbed off on me. “Okay, okay.” I heard Logan mumble as I strained to hear the voice in the background.
“Listen, they time our calls, so everyone gets a chance. So I have to hang up here.”
“All right,” I whispered, trying my best to hide the disappointment that ran through my body.
“Can I call you tomorrow? Around the same time?” he asked.
“Of course. I’ll be waiting.” A sad smile crossed my face.
“Be careful, okay, Jess?”
“I will…I’m fine. You concentrate on you, Logan. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m ready to get you home.”
“Me too, okay. I…I’ll talk to you soon. Bye, Jess.”
“Bye,” I mumbled and waited until I heard the click of his receiver before removing the phone from my ear.
I stared at the phone, watching the number fade from my screen, and the tears started to fall. I couldn’t hold them back a second longer.
“Are you okay?” Maxi asked, leaning across the console and putting her arm around my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” I was, I thought. Just full of emotions.
“You get to see him, right?” Her motherly tone made me smile through my tears.
“I do. Monday.”
“Yay!” she whispered, and I looked over to see her bright smile lighting up the car.
I really was thankful to have her in my life. I pulled myself together and wiped the tears from my cheeks. Taking a deep breath, I looked over at Maxi once again.
“Let’s do this.” I smiled, putting the car in drive.
“Let’s do it.” She returned my grin and slapped my knee before adjusting herself in her own seat.
Chapter Thirty-One
“This is it,” I mumbled, biting my bottom lip out of nervousness as I glanced over to Maxi. Her big, blue eyes were wide, sharing the same feeling I had. You could feel it buzzing in the rental car.
We parked in front of a modest home with tan wooden siding and espresso shutters. The grass was trimmed neatly, still green, with a stone bird feeder in the center of the manicured yard. A navy Honda Accord sat alone in the driveway.
“That’s Malina’s car. She let me know she was home alone—both of her parents are at work.”
“Well, that’s a tiny relief.” I wasn’t sure how I would respond if her parents gave us a hard time for being there. Probably tuck and run. Regardless of how much I knew I should stand up for Isaac, I wasn’t much of a fighter. But as I watched Maxi pop out of the passenger side, I knew she was. She stood straight, adjusting her top, pushing her shoulders back and then turned around to look for me.
“Come on.” She waved me out of the car as I continued to stare. “Come on,” she repeated, slowly annunciating her words while waving her hand frantically, coaxing me out of the vehicle.
As we started to walk up the drive, the front door opened before we reached our destination. A short, young girl appeared before my eyes. Her long, wavy hair hung past her shoulders. The honey color of her flawless complexion brought out her golden-speckled eyes. Along with a tiny diamond nose ring. She wore a black and white flannel tied around her waist, ripped jeans, and a simple white T-shirt. Her clothing choices reminded me of Reese, with a little less sophistication. But her eyes were much different. While Reese exuded confidence, this girl seemed lost and worried. She was a still a child.
“Hey, Maxi, right?” She spoke with purpose as she met us at the edge of the driveway.
“Yep, and this is my sister, Jessica.”
“You can call me Jess, if you want.” I smiled, holding my hand out for her to shake. She glanced down at my extended hand and gave it an unknowing look, just for a moment before giving me a gentle shake.
“Hi,” she responded before pulling her keys out of her jeans pocket.
“Okay, so I found out he’s at this guy, Paul’s house. I didn’t tell him you guys were coming with me. I think he might get pissed and run. But I want to help him, and I’m hoping you guys can make that happen.”
That’s when it hit me; we didn’t really have a plan. We just jumped in a rental car and headed to Massachusetts without really figuring this out. It’s not like I could take him back to my apartment—Brax would freak out. And although Maxi’s parents loved
her more than anything and would do whatever they could for her, I was positive they wouldn’t want a grown man that she didn’t really know living with her, even if it was her long lost brother. I wanted to kick myself for flying by the seat of my pants and not coming up with a reasonable plan.
“So, I’m going to take my car, and you guys can follow me, but don’t get out until I let you know it’s okay. Okay?” She waited for our answer as both of us stared back and forth between each other and Malina.
I wasn’t the only one who suddenly realized we might be in over our heads. I was sure we weren’t prepared for what we were about to walk into, and that made me really nervous.
“Okay?” she repeated.
“Yeah, okay,” Maxi answered, and Malina walked to her car without another word.
“What the hell are we doing?” I asked Maxi as we both buckled our seatbelts.
“Shit, I don’t know. I just want to help him. But now I’m kind of freaking out.”
“Me too,” I mumbled as I put the car in reverse and followed the blue Honda down the side streets of her neighborhood before getting back on the freeway.
After a few minutes of brainstorming and different scenarios flooding my mind, we took the next exit, and I realized this was a sketchy part of town. Most of the buildings were closed down and covered in graffiti. We took the back roads into a run-down neighborhood that was in even worse shape than the buildings.
“Okay, we let him know who we are and try to get him to come with us. He can stay with us at the hotel tonight, and we can do research when we get there. See if there is a place that can help him, like a rehab or something.”
“That sounds good.” I glanced over at Maxi who looked even more worried than me. “You okay?” I tried to read her expression while giving my surroundings attention also.
“Yeah, I just keep thinking…I don’t want to get shot in the ghetto,” she said with a nervous giggle.
“Way to keep a level head there, sis.” I shook my head and refused to allow myself to go there.
“I really have been sheltered my whole life,” she mumbled as she stared at the dilapidated houses that lined the streets.
“That’s not a bad thing.” My answer couldn’t be truer—she was lucky to grow up the way she had.
“Looks like this is it.” We came to a stop at an old tan house, the grass was overgrown and littered with beer cans. Two men around my age sat on the front porch guzzling their own beer and laughing, until they noticed us pull up in front of the house. They both stood, crossing their arms in a protective stance. Crazy to think anyone would be protective over a place like this.
Malina hopped out of her car, shoving her keys into her jeans and walked right up to them. It was impossible to hear what they were saying, but the two men’s body language spoke volumes as they looked her up and down, one of them even going as far as to circle around her, staring at her like a piece of meat, and it made me sick to my stomach. When he reached down and tapped her backside, she swung her body around and gave him a hard shove. Maybe she wasn’t as out of her element as I first thought. He replied with a laugh and shook his head, moving aside so she could gain access to the screen door that was barely hanging on.
We waited for about ten minutes in silence, staring at the front door of the house and watching the now empty porch for any movement.
“Oh my God,” I mumbled as I watched the door burst open, and Malina walked out the door, Isaac behind her. His dark hair was longer than the photo, the ends curled over his ears, a baseball cap covered the rest of his locks. He had on a pair of dirty, ripped up jeans, with an oversized sweatshirt to match. He stared into our car, but he showed no emotion.
“Are you sure that’s him?” Maxi asked and glanced at me quickly before turning her attention back to our brother.
“I’m sure.” My mousey voice annoyed me by the sound alone.
“He’s coming outside, so that’s a good sign, right?” Maxi’s voice oozed nervousness—this was brand new.
“I think so, but I think we need to get him out of here as soon as possible. Don’t bring up getting him help until we’re in a safe place.” I knew things could get out of hand here in a second, and I didn’t want that to happen.
“Thinking on your feet, Jess. You don’t give yourself enough credit.” She reached over and squeezed my hand before opening the door as they walked closer to the car. I followed her lead and opened my own door, stepping out, mentally trying to prepare myself for whatever came next.
“Isaac?” I mumbled, unsure of what else to say as we came face to face with the little boy with the nervous stutter, who was now a grown man. A man that from the looks of it was broken and needed help, needed a chance, needed family.
“Goddamn, Malina, I thought you were just fucking with me,” he grumbled, a slight slur in his tone as he looked back and forth between us. Malinda didn’t respond, she just shook her head and rolled her eyes in his direction.
“It’s so good to see you.” I took a few steps forward and gave him a tight hug. His body stiffened, but he returned my affection. I couldn’t ignore the distinct odor that clung to him. It was like vinegar and band aids. I remembered that smell, my stomach churning, the bile leaping into my throat. I had to pull myself away to keep from vomiting.
He was a heroin addict.
This was worse than I imagined.
“My turn.” Maxi smiled as she reached over to hug him. I watched her eyes and knew she smelled the same thing I did as a wave of confusion washed over her. I hoped she wasn’t reliving some suppressed memory in this moment. Not here. Not now.
“How did you guys find me?” He gave us a stare, waiting for an answer.
“Our little sister is a private investigator,” I joked and nudged Maxi.
“What, like a cop?” Isaac’s eye got wide, and he took two steps backward.
“No,” Maxi laughed. “Just a nosy teenager with mad skills.”
“Oh, okay,” he said, his shoulders dropping.
“How have you been?” Maxi asked, trying to change the subject.
“I’ve been o-o-okay.” The slight stutter caused my stomach to clench and thrash in every direction.
“So do you want to go get a bite to eat or something? Catch up?” I stared at him, pleading with my eyes for him to get the hell out of here. The two guys from earlier were back on the porch, glaring at us.
“They’re cool, Cade. You should go hang out with them,” Malina assured him, as she rubbed her hand over his biceps.
After a few seconds of staring at us and looking behind him, he nodded his head.
“You gonna come?” He looked down at Malina.
“Yeah, of course, if it’s okay with your sisters.”
“Totally fine with us.” Maxi smiled—it was her nervous smile, but I’m the only one who would know that.
“Cool.” Malina looped her arm through his. “Let’s get out of here.” That sentence was the best thing I had heard since we pulled up to this house.
“We’ll meet you there.”
Isaac nodded as he walked toward Malina’s car. I noticed she pulled out her phone as she walked around to the driver’s side of the car.
Maxi pulled out her own phone that was buzzing as soon as we were safely back in the car. She turned the screen in my direction so we could both read it.
So far. So good.
“Here’s to hoping,” I mumbled as I pulled onto the street, following Malina out of this part of town, but not quick enough for my liking.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“I still don’t understand why you guys are doing this.” Distrust laced Isaac’s voice, which made me sad. He never had anyone he could count on, and he went through life thinking the worst of people. I suppose I could relate, but for some reason, it bothered me that he felt that way more than it ever did for me.
“Because you’re our brother, and we want to help.” Maxi flopped down on one of the double beds in our hotel room.
/> “But you don’t even know me.”
“We know enough.” I wanted him to understand that this hand he had been dealt wasn’t his fault. Sure, he got himself into things he shouldn’t have, but it’s not like he ever had anyone to give him a hand up. He didn’t have parents to guide him—or anyone really. He was left to his own devices, and this was the outcome. But he could overcome it, I was sure of it.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry? You hardly ate at dinner.” Maxi grabbed the “things to do” pamphlet that sat on the nightstand.
“Nah,” he mumbled, digging his stubbed fingernails into his arms, scratching viciously.
“Are you okay? Can I get you anything?” I walked over in his direction, but he shielded his hands in front of his chest defensively before speaking.
“I’m fine.”
“Okay.” My mousey voice made another appearance as I sat on the bed next to Maxi, across from Isaac.
“Sorry, I’m just a little edgy.” He raked his hands over his face and then through his hair that looked as if it hadn’t been washed in a while.
“It’s okay. Just let us know if we can help with anything. I’m sure once we get to the treatment center in the morning, they will give you something to help.” I was so thankful we found somewhere that would take him quickly. He obviously didn’t have insurance, but the facility took a certain number of patients each week that couldn’t pay, and luckily, we called right as that window opened.
“You think so?” His eyebrows lifted as his pupils roamed quickly between Maxi and me.
“Of course, this is what they specialize in. I know they’re going to take good care of you.”
“Cool.” His one-word response caused me to worry just a little. He seemed very nonchalant about all this. But maybe he was ready for a change. Maybe he was ready to change his future and do better for himself. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt—he deserved that from us, at the very least.
“Do you still think about Ben?” His question caught me by surprise, and my body stiffened at the name.