Breathless

by Vanessa Marie

  Unable to stand, she crawled across the floor to his bed and pulled herself up. Ugh, this is bullshit. Sam, please hurry. Not knowing where the hell her phone was, she didn't have the energy to look for it. She realized it was still in the living room and she'd called the doctor with the house phone.

  The only clean clothes left in her bag were a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra and a tank top. She pulled them on and laid back on the bed as all life felt like it was fading from her.

  Breathing deep through her nose, she forced herself back into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She supported all of her weight on her one forearm and brushed slowly when she heard Sam call her name from the living room in a panic.

  "What the hell are you doing?" He grabbed her around the waist and supported her.

  "Brushing my teeth."

  "You need to go to the hospital," he rebutted in a tone laced with worry.

  She spit in the sink and rinsed her mouth out. "I know."

  "Well, who the hell brushes their teeth when they can barely stand?"

  "I took a shower and shaved too." She gave him her best attempt at a haphazard smile, but she was too weak to really care.

  Sam scooped her into his arms and carried her to the front door. Not quite sure how he opened it, she settled into his chest until he set her into the passenger seat of her truck and buckled her in.

  "I'll be right back. You going to be okay for a second?"

  Nodding, she was too tired to physically answer and Sam disappeared inside.

  She realized she must have dozed off when she opened her eyes and Sam was on the phone while he was driving. "Yeah, were headed there now. I'm not really sure. She looks gray and she's fading in and out. Ok. I've got to go, I'm pulling in now. I'll text you with a room number unless you get here sooner. Okay…bye."

  They pulled into the turnaround in front of the E.R and Sam jumped out. He ran around, scooped her into his arms and carried her inside. The nurse behind the desk jumped up to meet him.

  "Can I help you?"

  "This is Charlotte Evans. Her doctor’s office called ahead."

  Charlie wanted to tell the nurse what was going on but she was too tired to say anything. She just laid her head against Sam's chest, closed her eyes, and listened to the double thump of his heartbeat as they talked.

  The nurse smacked the button behind her desk and the doors to the ER rooms opened. "We thought she was coming by ambulance, yes…follow me."

  Fucking ambulance.

  ✦✧✦✧✦✧

  By the time they had her hooked up in the ER, she was starting to come around as they pumped fluids and God only knows what kind of drugs into her. Loud voices outside her room made her crack one eye open to check out what was going on.

  "I don't give a flying rats ass how many people are allowed in the ER rooms as visitors. My daughter is in heart failure and I'd like to see you try to keep us from her," Joe growled.

  Poor bastard doesn't stand a chance against my dad.

  A moment later, everyone piled into her room. Joe, Callie, Jules, Sarah, and Sam…the gang was all there.

  "Hey, Kid. You okay? Do you know what's going on?" Joe took her hand in his and then turned it over. "Fucking vampire butchers. What the hell did they do to her, Sam?"

  Being somewhat incoherent, she still knew that tone of voice. It wasn't a good thing for whoever was on the other end of it.

  Then she heard heaven, which was Sam's husky voice.

  "They kept blowing veins. After the second one, I went ape shit and told them not to fucking come back until they found someone who knew what the hell they were doing."

  "Well, it doesn't look like anyone knew what the hell they were doing."

  Who's veins were blown?

  Charlie looked down at her arms and they were purple. Everywhere. She had an IV in her right forearm and one in her left hand. She tried counting the splotches of purple.

  Three. Four. Five. Is that six or is that just a blob?

  The doctor walked in a few minutes later and came to an abrupt stop when he saw so many people crammed into the little room. The look on Joe's face must have been enough of a warning for him not to mention it. He just nodded his acknowledgement at them but directed his attention to Charlie.

  "Ms. Evans, my name is Doctor Fisher. I'm the ER doctor on call right now. I've already got a call into Doctor Brown. I see in your file you have an extensive cardiac history. We need to run some tests so when Doctor Brown gets here, he can decide what the next step is."

  "Okay."

  "The nurse mentioned when she went over your medication list with you that you told her you haven't been taking any of them?"

  "You what?" Joe scolded.

  "Sir, please. She's an adult. I need to talk to her about this or I'll ask you to leave."

  Joe locked his jaw and she could feel his death glare on her, but she refused to look over at him.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  "No, I haven't, and I'm not getting in an argument as to why right now."

  The nurse walked in the room with a clipboard of paperwork. "They ordered an X-Ray and a CT with contrast. Is there any chance you're pregnant? When was your last menstrual cycle?"

  Her pulse quickened with each beat, the machine beeped even louder. The nurse and doctor eyed her suspiciously. Like they could see right through her and her pulse only verified their answer when she didn't answer.

  "Of course she's not pregnant." Joe and Callie said almost simultaneously.

  "Ma'am? Do you need to look at a calendar?"

  Charlie shook her head no and looked at Jules as tears streamed down her face.

  The gig was up. She was fucked.

  "I need you to sign the paperwork so we can do the tests." She said, growing impatient.

  "I can't." She whispered.

  The nurse’s eyes went wide and she turned to the doctor who mirrored her expression. That exchanged glance confirmed every fear she had.

  "Wait. What?" Sam yelled stepping forward. "What did you just say?"

  Silent tears fell and the machine beeped, in an unsteady rhythm.

  "Sir, we need to keep her calm. Stress isn't good for her heart."

  "This has nothing to do with you." Sam growled so low, it scared Charlie. He turned his attention back to Charlie and settled the full force of his glare on her. She was sure her dad and Callie were watching her the same way. She looked away and found Jules and Sarah against the wall. Tears streaked their faces.

  Guilty tears.

  Sam looked back over his shoulder at Jules. "You knew?" he glanced at Sarah. "You did, too? Of course you did." He rubbed his face furiously and paced back and forth.

  "Sir, we need to take her."

  Joe started to speak but Sam cut him off. "Look, I just found out my girlfriend who’s in heart failure is pregnant with my child. So, if you could back the fuck off and give us a minute…? Jesus."

  The doctor and nurse both ducked out of the room without another word.

  "Why? Why would you keep this from me? How long have you known?"

  She just shook her head as sobs rocked through her. There was no way she could answer.

  "Charlie, how long?" Joe asked. His voice boomed.

  "We've known for a few weeks," Jules answered in a small voice.

  "Weeks? So we're not talking days here? Weeks? Sarah, you too?" Joe seemed completely baffled.

  "I bought the tests and was there when she found out," Sarah admitted, not meeting their eyes.

  "How far along are you?" Sam asked, his voice cracking.

  "Four months." Charlie finally relented in a near whisper.

  Sam backhanded the Styrofoam water cup that was sitting on the cart and it went flying into the wall. He stormed out of the room without another word. She wasn't sure how he'd react to the news, but that wasn't at all how she thought he would behave.

  "I'm really disappointed in you, Charles." Joe left the room without another glance in her direction.

&nb
sp; Little did he know, those words crushed what was left of her into oblivion.

  She cried so hard that she choked and struggled to breathe. The machines next to the bed went wild and two nurses raced into the room.

  "Is she okay? What happened? Hun, we need to get you to calm down."

  Callie pulled a chair up next to her bed and pulled both of Charlie's hands into hers. Tears streaked her face, but she was calm, just like she always was when things got bad.

  "Charlotte, look at me."

  She looked over and met her gaze through a blurry mess of tears.

  "We love you. We will get through this. Okay?"

  "They hate me," she choked out. "Sam hates me and doesn't want this baby."

  "Honey, I don't think he's upset at the fact you're pregnant. Shocked maybe, like the rest of us, but I think he's hurt that you kept it from him but told Julian and Sarah." Callie paused and wiped her face before she continued. "Honestly, we're all hurt that you didn't feel you could come to us with something so important. Why didn't you?"

  Charlie sucked in a ragged breath, trying to calm herself down. "I was scared…and…and I didn't want to put you guys through the same stuff that my mom faced."

  "Look, we’re scared too, but we will be there for you and your peanut every step of the way. Things have changed a lot in the last twenty years. We'll get you the best high risk OBGYN. As soon as Dr. Brown gets here, we can figure out how it all works with your heart. Okay?"

  All Charlie could do was nod. A lump formed in the back of her throat and she swallowed hard.

  Sarah moved off the wall, toward the bed. They'd forgotten she was even in the room because she was so quiet. "I told her the same thing, Callie. But for the record, I didn't agree with her keeping this a secret. I'm sorry I bailed on you, Charlie. I just, I couldn't stand by and watch when I didn't agree. Can you forgive me?" She held her hand out to Charlie with her forehead pinched together.

  Charlie reached out and squeezed her hand, but couldn't say anything through her tears.

  Callie nodded and gave her a small smile before her eyes stopped on Jules. "I understand why you felt you needed to keep this a secret for her instead of telling me. I don't like that you did. This conversation is far from over. However, this is neither the time, nor the place, to have it."

  He cast his glance down at the floor and gave her a small nod that he understood. A nurse walked back in the room with three needles filled with something….

  Charlie gave Callie a worried glance and shook her head no. She was still unable to speak with her uncontrollable crying.

  "Excuse me," Callie interrupted. "What is that you're giving her?"

  "It's something to help calm her down. We need to get her heart rate under control."

  "No. You're not giving her anything until we see Doctor Brown."

  "Well, ma'am, with all due respect, I'm just following my orders." Her words were laced with distain. Saying with all due respect was pointless. From the tone of her voice, she didn't have an ounce of it in her.

  "Well," Callie stood up slowly, with a protective stance over Charlie. "I'm telling you, I don't care what your orders are. You are not giving my daughter anything. I will get her calmed down."

  The nurse squared off with Callie, like she had something to prove. She was young and obviously didn't like to be told by patient what she wasn't going to do. Charlie watched in awe as Callie turned into mama bear, ready to protect her cub.

  "Last I checked, she's an adult."

  Letting out a low, deep breath Callie grit her teeth. "Let me be clear here, because obviously you aren't getting it. The patient has the right to refuse to take any medication. My daughter has refused. You are not injecting her, or my grandchild with anything. If you still have a problem with this, I will be more than happy to—"

  "Wait. She's pregnant?" The nurse interjected before Callie could finish her calm, yet scary lecture.

  "Yes. She is. Therefore you aren't coming near her."

  The nurse’s face softened. "That definitely changes things." She grabbed her vials and left without another word.

  Relief washed through Charlie. Go mama bear.

  "Damn, Mom! You just told her off! Look out South Carolina. Don't mess with her kids or she'll get ya'!" Jules laughed.

  The mood seemed to lighten for a moment before Callie turned her attention back to Charlie. "Honey, she is right about you calming down. I know you're upset and feel horrible, but you need to focus on your breathing exercises."

  She needed Sam. He was her calm in all the chaos, but the chances of him ever talking to her again were slim at best and she knew it.

  "Jules," she whispered and held her hand out for him.

  He was more than happy to rush to her side and hold her hand. "We got this, Charlie. Deep breaths. Just focus on me, okay?"

  Trying to slow her breathing, she followed Jules instruction until he brought her out of the dark place she was in.

  ✦✧✦✧✦✧

  Sam sat outside on a bench, bent over with his fingers laced behind his neck deep in thought. How could she keep this from me? It's our child. My child.

  He was so lost in his own mind that he didn't notice that Joe sat down next to him until he spoke. "You okay?"

  "I don't know. I can't believe she lied to me and kept that from me." He shook his head in disbelief and then brought his eyes up to meet Joe's. They shared the same worried and hurt look. "Are you okay?"

  "Honestly, Sam, I don't know, either. I do have to say the fact she kept you in the dark about it too bodes well for you."

  Sam pulled his brows together. "What do you mean by that?"

  "I mean, if you'd have known and you also kept it from me…I'd lose every ounce of respect I have for you."

  "Joe, I swear I didn't know."

  "I know you didn't. Trust me; your reaction proved that."

  Sam hung his head in shame and closed his eyes. "Yeah. I handled that like a real asshole."

  "No. I think you handled it better than I would have in your shoes. I don't know why she does these things. It makes me want to strangle her." Joe let out a huff.

  "I can't believe she's pregnant. We were careful. I…I can't believe I put her at risk like that." The realization of their conversations about her mom's birth plan hit him like a freight train and his eyes flew open. "Oh God, Joe. Is this…is she going down the same road your wife did?"

  "Man, I hope not. I can't go through that twice. At least it all makes sense."

  Not following Joe's train of thought, Sam frowned. "What does?"

  "Everything. Her sudden obsession with finding those low life assholes…her desperate need to know every detail of Angie's experience. In her warped little mind, she put it all together and I think that's why she kept it from us."

  Sam was envious that he hadn't put it all together himself. Joe was her dad after all, and he would know his daughter better than anyone.

  "I call that Charlie logic."

  "That's my kid. Find a way to justify anything."

  A long pause hung in the air...thick with things that were unsaid. Both men, lost in their own thoughts.

  Sam turned toward Joe. "Sir, I'd like your permission."

  Joe frowned. "Permission for what?"

  Swallowing hard, Sam answered. "I would like your permission to marry Charlie. I love her more than anything in this world and I want to raise our child together as a family. She deserves that and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

  "Wow. Are you only asking this because of the baby?"

  Sam shook his head. "No. I mean, it makes things move a little faster, but after this last year, I can't imagine my life without her in it."

  Joe clasped Sam's shoulder and squeezed. "I'd be lucky to have a son like you. You've shown me who you are and why you deserve my daughter, but are you sure you're ready to hop on board the train of crazy? She's awfully moody as it is. Pregnancy is only going to make her worse."

  They both
laughed.

  "Oh, I'm sure." Sam smiled. He knew they had a long way to go and Charlie was in a lot of danger, but he wanted to be by her side for every step of the way.

  "Welcome to the family, kid. Or should I call you daddy?" Joe wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder in a side hug.

  "Thanks, Joe. I need to go talk to her. I'm not proud of how I walked out. She's probably a mess right now and thinks I'm done with our relationship. That's the last thing she needs to worry about right now."

  "I agree. I didn't handle it much better. Let's go see our girl and hope to God they can get her patched up."

  When he’d walked outside, his world had felt like it had completely fallen apart. After talking to Joe, he understood why Charlie was so close to him. He was an incredible father, the kind of which he wanted to be to his child.

  Charlie's child.

  They walked back into the hospital together as a united front.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Doctor Brown walked in the room and Charlie braced herself for what was coming. He wore a frown that was a cross between worried and disappointed.

  "What in the hell am I going to do with you, Charlie?"

  "Oh, I don't know...tell me I'm amazing and applaud me for keeping you on your toes? Oh, and that I'm your most favorite patient ever." She gave him the best smile she could muster, knowing it wasn't a funny situation.

  He let out an exaggerated huff. "Keeping me on my toes? More like knocking me on my ass. Why the hell didn't you tell me about this sooner? Hell! You were just in my office! Is this why you were so opposed to an ICD?" He'd rattled his questions at a rapid fire speed and then took a deep breath.

  "No. I just wasn't ready to be Robo-cop yet." Charlie fidgeted with her hands and avoided eye contact.

  "Do you understand the risk you've put yourself in by not taking any of your medication and keeping this a secret? You're a smart girl, Charlie, but this was a really stupid move."

  Her head shot up in defiance as a scowl pulled at her brows. "It wasn't stupid. I did the research. I saw all of the effects my meds can have on my baby and I made an informed decision."

  "Well, I hate to break this to you kiddo, but you can't learn everything on Google. There are medications I can put you on that are baby safe. Had you called me when you found out, I could have told you this."