"Mm-hmm."
"Good. You're going to be in what's called twilight. We need you to be awake for part of this, but you won't feel anything except pressure okay? If you do, let me know and I will adjust your dosage."
"Kay."
The nurses were still rambling about her, Sam, the baby, and the proposal when Doctor Brown came in. She wanted to know why they weren't monitoring her baby during everything but something tugged at the back of her mind and reminded her about the conversation she'd had with the OB.
"The fetus isn't far enough along for us to monitor during the procedure. If anything were to go wrong, it's not viable, so there wouldn't be anything we could do to save it. We will do an ultrasound to check vitals and make sure everything is okay once you're in recovery."
She wasn't sure if it was part of a real conversation or if it was something that had actually happened, but her eyes were heavy, so she let them slip closed. No longer fighting against the deep sleep trying to pull her under.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
"Charlie can you hear me?" Dr. Brown's deep voice asked.
"Mmhhhmm," she mumbled not opening her eyes. The room was still cold, but she was warm and comfortable in her drug-induced slumber.
"We're almost done kid. Open your eyes for me so I know you're listening." He waited until her eyes fluttered open to continue, "When we're done, you're going to be in a sling. I need you to understand you can't lift your arm up. Your elbow can't go past your shoulder for at least 3 weeks."
"Mm-kay," she answered as she let her eyes slip shut.
"Do you know why? This is important, Charlie."
"Hmmm?"
"If you're not careful, you can rip the leads I just implanted right out of your heart. You now have a dual chamber pacemaker and ICD. There are two leads that run into your heart and tell it when to beat."
Something registered in her, about leads, pacemakers, ICD's and being shocked. "Will it shock me?" She was still too lazy to keep her eyes open.
"Yes, but only when necessary." She felt a tug on the top of her chest as she assumed he was stitching her up.
She was sure they'd go over this again.
So tired.
All she wanted to do was go back to sleep. It didn't take long for her to descend back into unconsciousness.
CHAPTER TEN
Joe walked up behind Sam and clasped his hands on his shoulders.
"Hey, like mother like daughter. Don't take it too personal." He smirked.
Sam lifted his head from where he sat on the floor against the wall and looked up at Joe with no idea what he meant. "What are you talking about?"
"The look on your face. I recognize it."
"Oh yeah? How's that?" Sam highly doubted he knew how he felt at that moment.
"She said no, didn't she?"
He saw clarity and recognition in his eyes that he hadn't noticed before. One of these days, he'd learn to stop underestimating Joe so much. "How'd you know?"
Joe sat down on the floor next to him and bumped his shoulder. "Because Angie did the same thing to me the first time I asked her."
Floored, Sam looked at him with his mouth agape.
With a fond smile, Joe seemed lost in thought until he shook his head and let out a laugh. "You know, it's funny how those two only met for a nano second, but they are so much alike. It's frightening."
"Why'd she say no to you?" He had Sam's full attention now.
"Fear. She'd already been through so much in her life by the time I'd asked her that she said it wasn't fair to me for her to drag me down, too." He let out another laugh.
"Sounds like something Charlie would say."
Joe smacked the side of his knee. "That's exactly my point, Sam. I know it hurt. Trust me man, I know. Just don't give up on her. I was persistent with Ang and I made her see I wasn't going anywhere, no matter how hard she pushed."
Letting out a deep breath, Sam rested his head against the wall and stared at the ceiling. "I thought I already had. I mean, she's carrying my baby for Christ's sake and she didn't even tell me. What does that say for our relationship?"
"She's scared, Sam. If it makes you feel any better, she didn't tell me either and I'm her father. I don't know why she feels like she had to take the weight of the world on her shoulders alone, but she always has. We need to make her see, especially now that she can't. It's not just about her anymore, or us. It's about that baby, and I know more than anyone what a mother’s love is willing to protect." Joe sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
"So what do I do?"
"What you have been—love her and be there for her. When she pushes, push back. If you're in this, then fight. I don't have to tell you that she’s stubborn. You just have to be willing to be twice as determined. She'll come around. I know my daughter, and I know she loves you more than anything in this world."
Hearing that made his heart swell. Talking to Joe always did something to him. It validated everything he'd always felt and made him know he was doing the right thing. He never had that growing up. He never had anyone to have heart-to-heart conversations with. His parents were always too busy for him. By the time he needed his grandparents, they were already gone.
Sam nodded, knowing Joe was right. He did not intend to ever give up on Charlie, but he needed someone to tell him it was okay once in a while, too.
They sat there on the floor in silence for a while before Callie rounded the corner and stopped in front of them. "What on God's green earth are the two of you doing on the floor?" Her hands instantly went to her mouth and she let out a gasp. "Oh, please tell me something didn't happen. Did they come out? Are they okay?"
Joe stood and wrapped her in a bear hug. "Cal, take a breath. As far as we know, everything’s fine. No one's come out. We were just having some guy talk."
Relief flooded her features as her body relaxed against Joe's sturdy frame. "I don't know how much more of this I can take. I know I'm supposed to be the level headed one here, but I'm struggling today."
Rubbing her shoulder, Joe gave her a knowing look and kissed her forehead. "It's all because of the baby. There's a little creature in there now and your maternal instinct is jumping around to protect and nurture it, just like you did to Charles."
Sam brushed his jeans once he got off the floor and gave them a sideways glare. "Watch who's kid you're calling a creature there, old man."
They all laughed as Jules, Alex, and Sarah caught up with them.
"What the hell is this? Some kind of party we weren't invited to? Sam really has replaced me now, hasn't he?" Jules smiled slyly.
As soon as Jules was close enough, Sam wrapped his arm around his neck the way a big brother would to his little brother. "Don't you know by now no one could ever replace you, dummy?"
Jules looked up at him with tear filled eyes that looked full of remorse. "Are you mad at me for knowing and not telling you? Or are you just mad at me for knowing period?"
The question caught Sam completely off guard. Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at them. It wasn't something he was expecting to discuss with him anytime soon, so he spoke from his heart. "I'm not mad at you, Julian. I'm hurt she didn't feel like she could tell me. Whether she thought I wouldn't be supportive or understand or whatever her reasons were...I'm just glad she had you to confide in and she wasn't facing it all completely alone."
"Thanks for saying that."
Tears streaked Jules face as Sam pulled him into a hug. It was the first time they'd ever hugged, but they'd come so far over the last year that Sam really felt like he was gaining a family instead of standing next to Charlie's. Jules pulled away and wiped his face with the inside of his shirt, obviously not wanting anyone to see he was crying. Sam could tell what he'd said meant a lot to him.
"So, does anyone want to get tanked and play strip poker while we wait for her to get out of surgery?" Alex asked with a Cheshire grin.
They all laughed and the mood lifted significantly as they
all walked back to the waiting room together.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
Charlie's eyes fluttered opened to the sound of Sam and Doctor Brown's voices. She yawned and rolled her head to the side as his beautiful profile came into view. Sam really was tall, dark and fuckable. She let out a small giggle and remembered her nurses' earlier conversation. Both men stopped talking and turned to look at her.
"Well, well," Doctor Brown said while wearing his signature smirk. "Look who finally decided to wake up."
She wasn't awake enough to spit out her rapid fire wit at him, so she did the next best thing and gave him her best dirty look. Sam laughed and rubbed her thigh. "That's my girl."
"Okay, well, I'm out of here. If you have any follow up questions, the nurses know the drill. If not, you have my number." He extended his hand to Sam and shook it before he turned back to Charlie.
"Thanks for everything, Doc."
"Anytime. And you, missy, take care of yourself and that baby. I'll see you in my office in two weeks."
She nodded before he wiggled her toe and walked away. Sam sat down on the chair next to her bed as a pair of nurses entered her room.
"She’s going to be down here for an hour before we move her back to her room upstairs, just to make sure everything is good to go," the nurse stated while checking the IV drip. "I just got a call from someone in the OB's office. They’re going to send a tech down here to do an ultrasound while she's here. So, you'll get to see your little peanut soon."
"So, she's okay? Everything went okay?" Charlie desperately needed the answer to be yes.
"You did great in there. As far as we know, everything with your baby is good too. We'll know more as soon as they do the ultrasound, but I wouldn't worry about it." She winked before continuing. "Can I get you anything to drink? We've got juice, sprite, and water."
"Coffee?" Charlie asked hopeful, knowing full well there was no way in hell they were going to allow her to have caffeine after having any kind of cardiac surgery. She was suddenly more awake when a thought hit her like a mac truck.
Oh shit. Can I have coffee while I'm pregnant? I need to Google that.
"No coffee for you, my dear…at least not for a few weeks. Then it's up to you and your OBGYN what you decide about the duration of your pregnancy."
She looked over at Sam with her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. He let out a laugh and gave her a sympathetic smile. He knew how much she lived for her coffee and tea. Leaning forward, he got right next to her ear. "Surgery or not, keep that lip stuck out there like that and I'll be forced to bite it off."
Charlie laughed. "Mmm, please do. I'm helpless to fight you off."
He shook his head and let out an exaggerated sigh. "Now where would the fun in that be?"
She pursed her lips and tried to sit up a bit, but there was no getting comfortable with her arm in a sling she could not move.
A squeaking wheel on a cart being wheeled into her room interrupted their moment. It was the ultrasound tech and Charlie's stomach started to flutter. She wasn't sure if it was nerves, the baby, wishful thinking, or a combination of everything.
"How are you guys doing?" The tech plugged her machine into the wall and unwrapped the other chords.
"We'll be doing great once we see how the little monster is doing," Sam answered as he winked at Charlie.
He knew her on levels so deep that he could understand her feelings without discussions. She had no idea how he managed that, but the fact he just referred to their baby as a little monster instead of some sickening sappy nickname made her heart swell.
A lazy smile spread across her face as she watched him. His eyes had that excited twinkle he always got when he was on edge about something. He must have noticed she was staring at him, as he gave her a sideways glance with a cocked eyebrow. "What?"
"Nothing."
The tech cleared her throat and once again ruined their moment. A guilty look washed over her face and her cheeks flushed pink. "Since you just got out of surgery, I am assuming you don't have any panties on?"
Sam's head shot up and he stared her down with an intense gaze. "No panties?"
She rolled her eyes and tried to play off the way her body was reacting to his stare. It instantly put her on edge. The only way to get her mind off sex was to fight fire with fire. "Wipe that look off of your sexy, scruffy face right now. That's how we got into this mess in the first place."
He feigned a look of innocence and pressed his hand over his broad, thick chest. "You think I'm sexy?" This made her heart beat rapidly. Why did he always make her have this sort of reaction? It drove her crazy. He drove her crazy.
"Sam, behave or get out." Charlie pointed at the door.
The tech cleared her throat again, bringing their attention back to her. Charlie had forgotten she was even in the room with the way Sam distracted her. He leaned over her, hovering just above her ear with his stubble tickling against her cheek, and whispered, "Just wait until I get you alone. You’ll find out what I’ll do now that I know you're not wearing any panties."
Charlie's eyes went wide as she stared at him in shock. What the hell had gotten into him? He didn't usually say things like that with other people around, let alone when they were in serious situations. The only thing she could chalk it up to was the fact she had shot down his haphazard attempt at a marriage proposal and he was scared out of his mind about seeing the baby. This had to be his coping mechanism.
The cocky smile he'd just given her a second ago faded quickly as the tech folded the sheet right at her pubic bone and pulled her gown up over her belly. Their eyes met and she could see what she'd just assumed he was feeling anticipation and the fear.
"This is probably going to be cold," the tech said as she squirted gel on Charlie's stomach. "My warmer hasn't been working all day."
Flinching and sucking her slightly bloated stomach in, Charlie forced herself to relax as the whooshing got louder. The girl clicked around with a large ball and mouse on the machine as she moved the wand all over Charlie's stomach. "There's your baby."
"Is she okay?" Sam blurted out.
"She? Are you guys hoping for a girl?" She smiled.
Annoyed with her amusement, Charlie just wanted her to answer the damn question. "I just have a feeling that she's a girl. So, is she okay?"
"Well, it's still too soon to tell, but we'll go with girl for now. So, in that case, her heart rate is strong. From what I can deduce from her measurements, she's right on track. Everything looks good."
With a sigh of relief, Charlie and Sam exchanged glances. His eyes lit up and his nose flared as he looked like he was trying to hold back a wave of emotion.
Charlie reached out and squeezed his hand tightly. There was no way to know that everything was going to be okay, but for now and this moment in time, it was.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
For the first time she could remember, Charlie was home two days after having surgery. She couldn't believe it was that simple. How getting an ICD implanted was what they called a minimally invasive procedure completely baffled her, but she was thrilled to be out of that hellhole.
Jules flopped on her bed next to her a lot harder than he should have. The jolt caused pain to shoot through her shoulders with an intensity she hadn't felt in a long time and left her crying out in agony. "Son-of-a-bitch"
"Oh shit! Are you okay? What happened?" Jules jumped up.
"You can't hop on my bed, asshole, unless you want to kill us!"
He covered his mouth with both hands and gasped, "My bad. If that thing shocks you, will the creature feel it too?"
She thought about it for a second and nodded. "Probably. I mean, I don't know for sure. We have different nerves and she has her own heart, so maybe not. I don't know this shit."
"We need to get you those expect the worst while expecting books," he said with a straight face. Jules had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but he looked so serious that Charlie almost felt bad for laughing at him…a
lmost.
"That's not what it's called, jackass."
"Yes it is. I saw it when I went into the book store that time."
Laughing, uncontrollably Charlie tried to catch her breath. "That one time you went into a book store? What happened? Did you get lost, or did you follow a pretty boy in there and pretend you were following his girlfriend?"
The instant scowl that appeared on his face proved she'd hit a nerve. "Not funny."
"Oh, come on. It's funny."
"I knew you were going to pull stupid gay jokes every chance you got."
"Well, if you knew this, then why do you act like this is such a surprise?"
He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed carefully this time. "You're impossible, but I'm warning you now: if you say anything else about RuPaul, skinny jeans, Cher, lube, glory holes, or My Little Pony, I swear to God I will punch you in your incision…knocked up or not. Got it? "
Smirking, she rolled her eyes and tried her best not to laugh. "Yeah, yeah, but you love me anyway."
“Right, now I hate your face but seriously we need to get you some 'Uh oh what do I do now that I'm knocked up books.'"
Charlie backhanded his arm with her free hand and huffed. "You're such a douche."
He cowered away from her, "Ow, heifer. I am serious though. We need to read up on this shit."
"You can get all the books you want, I'm going to go with my gut" She shrugged and his expression became smug. She didn't like it. "What the hell is that look for?"
"Sounds to me like you're planning for the future."
"Oh God, not you too." She dropped her head back in annoyance.
"Charlie, come on. It's okay to think about the future, you know."
"So what? I'm supposed to drive myself crazy and read every pregnancy book there is? I don't think so. I already have enough shit to worry about. I don't need to read about everything else that could possibly go wrong." She shifted on the bed and moved the pillows around so she could prop herself up comfortably.
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