Breathless

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Breathless Page 17

by Vanessa Marie


  Charlie moved over to the table and climbed onto that annoying paper that never stayed where it was should. She lay back with the doctor’s help and pulled her shirt up to the bottom of her bra. After Doctor Cage listened to her insides and pushed on everything imaginable, she pulled out a little handheld device and squirted a small amount of gel on her belly. Immediately the room was filled with Woosh Woosh Woosh Woosh Woosh.

  After calculating the heartbeats, she shut off the machine satisfied everything sounded good. "I'm going to send you across the hall to get your full ultrasound. You'll find out the sex today as long as baby here cooperates since you're now twenty weeks. Still think it's a girl?"

  "Yep," Charlie said without hesitation. Sam still had a goofy smile on his face from the sound of the heartbeat and she wished she could take a picture of his face at that very moment.

  "What about you, Sam? Any guesses?"

  He simply shrugged, "I don't really care one way or the other. I just hope it's healthy."

  So do I, babe. So. Do. I.

  Grabbing a clean towel out of the cupboard, she handed it to Charlie so she could clean herself off. "Well, do you have any other questions for me before you go across the hall?"

  "Yeah. Am I allowed to take a bath? Everyone keeps trying to tell me I'm not allowed to, but I thought it was fine?"

  "Yes, it's fine. As long as the tub isn't above 100 degrees, you're fine. You can even use bubble baths or whatever you want to put in. Your cervix is closed, so it's all okay."

  "Awesome." At least there was one thing she could be excited about, as long as she could find someone willing to help her in and out of the tub, since she was still too weak to put any pressure on her upper body.

  "All right. When you're ready, just go right across the hall and I'll let you know if you've got the okay for tomorrow when you're finished." The doctor stepped out of the room.

  The ultrasound tech was much friendlier than the girl they'd encountered at the hospital, but Charlie was thankful there wasn't the same level of awkwardness going on this time. She took still shots for her after the different measurements she had to take and showed them the different body parts.

  "Man, look how big that foot is," Sam said with a broad smile plastered to his face as he stared at the screen.

  "She probably gets it from you."

  "Okay, so, you guys ready to know?"

  "Yes," they answered in unison.

  Sam grabbed Charlie's hand and laced his fingers through hers. "Congratulations, you're having a…." She moved the wand around and laughed. "Hang on, someone just tucked their legs not wanting to show us all of a sudden."

  Pushing on the side of Charlie's belly, she felt the baby kick back in protest and Sam's eyes went wide. "Did your stomach just move like Sigourney Weaver's in Alien?"

  "Yep. Our creature is in there."

  "That's so fucking cool. Make her do it again." He placed his hand on her belly. All their other attempts for him to feel her move had fallen short, but she'd never seen her stomach roll like that before. The tech poked her belly again and rubbed the wand around. Once again her stomach rolled as the baby moved, but this time Sam got to feel it. His face lit up with a pride only a father could feel knowing he'd just felt his baby move for the first time.

  "Okay, let's see if we can see anything now." The tech moved the wand low again. "Oh, there it is! It's a girl!"

  Charlie's eyes met Sam's and she swallowed hard, savoring the moment. She wanted to remember every part of it before she looked back at the screen.

  Sam kissed her on the forehead and whispered in her ear, "Congratulations, Mama. You were right. We're having a little girl."

  After that, nothing else mattered. She was floating on cloud nine. Her doctor gave her clearance to go on their trip as long as she took it easy and kept the sex to a minimum. There were no promises made there, but the only place she wanted to be was with Sam, in that soaking tub, celebrating the fact they, indeed, were having a daughter.

  ✦✧✦✧✦✧

  Callie came over later that afternoon to take her shopping for maternity clothes. For once, it was a shopping trip she was looking forward to, which was kind of scary. They stopped for pizza at the food court in the shopping plaza.

  "So, have you talked to Jules much lately?" Callie bore her signature mom look, the one that said she already knew the answer to her question but wanted to know what you would offer up first.

  "Yeah, here and there. He's been pretty busy with school and all." Charlie shoved a large bite of pizza in her mouth in hopes of squashing the game of twenty questions she was sure to lose.

  "You know I find something funny, though, and you may be able to help me figure this one out. He hasn't asked for money for gas, food, clothes, or anything remotely stupid lately and, well…that just isn't Jules. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this would you?"

  Busted!

  Charlie knew she had two options: lie her ass off—knowing full well, Callie would know she was in fact, a big, fat liar—or come clean. "I've been helping him out a little, but you can't yell at me because I'm in a fragile state."

  Callie laughed so hard she was sure her drink was going to shoot through her nose at any moment. "Oh give me a break. How long have you been working on that one? In your fragile state.” She shook her head. "So, what is he doing with his free time, since I'm so far out of the loop that he feels like he has to hide it from me?"

  There was no way she'd understand if she tried to explain it to her and that's why she was so grateful she'd told Sam about it. He'd made a file on her phone that held all of the things Jules was currently working on so if Charlie ever found herself in this exact situation, she could show her. Pulling out her phone, she scrolled through it to the file.

  "Hey, come on. Can't you put that thing away for an afternoon and spend it with me?"

  Charlie held her hand up for Callie to give her a second. "I'm showing you what he's been doing. Bear with me." As soon as the files loaded, she slid her phone across the table and watched her surrogate mother's face transform from suspicion to confusion and then to pride.

  "He took these? He did this?" She brought her hand over her mouth continuing to scroll through the file.

  "He's amazing, isn't he?"

  "I had no idea. How did I have no idea, Charlie?" She looked at her in a way Charlie had never seen before. For the first time in as long as Charlie could remember, Callie looked lost. Her bond with Jules had always been so close, and her not knowing something so important to him was obviously killing her.

  "I think he tried to tell you," she offered, not really sure what else to say to her.

  "He did and I didn't listen. How could I have not listened? I mean, look at these." She scrolled through the file of pictures Jules had taken over the last few weeks since he'd started interning for that photographer.

  "The important part is you know now," Charlie said as she stuffed the rest of her slice into her mouth.

  "Well, now that I know he can take pictures like these, he's taking your maternity pictures, your shower pictures, all of the baby's newborn, and milestone pictures. Oh my God. I cannot wait to call him and get all of this set up."

  Charlie groaned, instantly regretting showing her the pictures. Somehow her plans always ended up backfiring on her and she didn't like it one bit.

  "I don't need a baby shower and I definitely don't need maternity pictures."

  Callie smacked the tabletop, gaining the attention of the shoppers eating around them. "Oh, hogwash. Yes, you are. You're the only daughter I have and now that I know I'm not getting a daughter-in-law, you're definitely my only shot at this. So, guess what, cupcake? It's happening."

  Frowning, Charlie made the ugliest face she could muster up. "I'm not getting out of this shit am I?"

  "Not a chance in hell! Now, let's go get you some maternity clothes so we can get you packed for your trip."

  They threw their trash away and headed toward the maternity
store in the corner of the plaza. At least she had the trip to look forward to before everything turned into a three-ringed circus.

  "Well, there are going to be boundaries. No pink and glittery princess shit. I have standards and a reputation to uphold."

  Callie rolled her eyes and hooked her arm into Charlie's. "Yes, yes I know. Everything must be black, black, and more black with motorcycles."

  A smug smile tugged at the corner of Charlie's mouth until she saw the evil glint in Callie's eye. "Darlin', if you think for a moment I'm going to let another girl in this family look like she's been raised by wolves, you've got another thing coming. You better get used to the color pink because you're going to be seeing a lot of it." She kissed her on the cheek and Charlie knew she this battle wasn't going to be easily won.

  Shit.

  ✦✧✦✧✦✧

  Charlie's phone pinged on her bed as she packed her suitcase with her clothes. They weren't as bad as she thought they'd be, so she couldn't complain. She grabbed her phone off the bed hoping it was Sam coming to say he was coming to get her early, but it was Jules.

  Hey Mama bear! It's lame I know. I'll find a better nickname soon. Sorry I missed your call earlier about the good news. You called it! Just got back to Juan's studio from an all day shoot. I'll call as soon as I can.

  She smiled and tossed her phone back down on the bed as she continued to pack. They'd tried calling him as soon as they got out of the Doctor's office, but it went straight to voicemail and she knew that meant he was working with Juan. He'd gotten the call about the internship four days after her surgery and had pretty much been M.I.A ever since. They checked in as much as possible, but she was pretty sure Sam was happy about the change, even though she selfishly missed him like crazy. Jules finally had something of his own that made him happy and that he was incredibly talented at, and she couldn't be happier for him.

  "Hey fat ass," he said from behind her. The sound of his voice caused her to jump and whip around grabbing her chest.

  "What the fuck. Where the hell did you come from? What the hell happened to calling me back?" She sat on the edge of her bed, trying to calm her heart that was still beating erratically in her chest.

  Jules shrugged making his way over to her couches near the bottom of her bed. "We were actually done at his studio when I texted you, so I figured calling you was pointless if I was driving here anyway."

  "Yeah, I guess, but did you really need to give me a fucking heart attack in the process, douche-bag?"

  He laughed and slid his hands behind his head wearing a smug smile. "Honestly, I figured you'd call me much more than that for calling you a fat ass."

  Pinching her lips together, Charlie looked down at her hips and slapped the side of her thigh. "Hey, if the shoe fits."

  Before she could say anything else, he'd hurled a pillow at her face from where he sat. "Oh shut your face. You're not fat. You're knocked up and you just took all the fun out of me calling you fat."

  She flipped him off and walked over to the couch he was sitting on to flop down beside him. Jules put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest. It'd been too long since she'd been able to just sit and enjoy her time with him. Relishing his scent, she curled her legs under herself and snuggled into him.

  "I've missed this," she admitted looking up at him.

  "Me too. So, what all did the doctor have to say today?"

  "Oh, ya know, the usual. I am nuts, but she's surprised I haven't cracked sooner and I need my head shrunk. Um, let's see what else…oh, Sam went ape shit when he found out I haven't been taking my shots—"

  "Charlie!" He wore his signature disappointed scowl.

  She scowled. "Oh, not you too. I know, I know. I already got a fucking lecture about it and the worst part is she talked to me like I was a god damn two year old."

  "Well, if you didn't act like a fucking toddler, they wouldn't treat you like one."

  "Jules, you don't understand. Those shots burn so bad and they mess with my head. I can feel her moving in there and then I'm supposed to stick this giant ass needle in there? I mean, I know it won't actually reach her, but it's a total mind fuck." Tears welled in her eyes and she could almost feel the sting that always came with the shot she started shaking.

  "It sounds like those things have given you PTSD."

  "It's not a joke, Julian."

  His light blue eyes held her gaze. "I'm not joking, Charlie. If it messes with you to the point you have anxiety so bad that you start shaking, something's wrong. Did she say if they could give you something else?"

  She shook her head. "No. Well, yeah but no."

  "Huh?" He looked confused and she knew she needed to explain. Jules was used to her talking in circles and not making complete sense, but he was always there when things went down. Lately, he hadn't been, so having to fill him in on every little detail made it harder for him to follow along.

  "She can't give me anything to help with the anxiety or what they think could be depression. She called it an SSRI. With my heart being as weak as it is right now and the creature…it's just not safe. However, she said there's another shot I could try that might not sting as much, but it's still a needle and I'm not even afraid of needles. I don't know what my problem is and Sam doesn't get it." A small sob escaped her throat as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.

  Jules let out a sigh and kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back. "I wish I had all the answers. You didn't have issues with the shots in the beginning did you?"

  She shook her head back and forth. She hadn't.

  "So what changed between then and now?"

  She thought about it for a moment. "They still burned like hell back then too and made me feel like I was going to pass out, but it wasn't bad. The mind fuck didn't start until last week when…." Her voice faltered and it hit her like a free running freight train running into the side of an abandoned building.

  "When what?" He gently shook her out of her daze.

  Charlie blinked rapidly and trained her dark crystal blue eyes on him. "When, I finally popped. I don't know why I didn't realize it before. Even this morning…God, I'm an idiot."

  Jules furrowed his brow. "What happened this morning?"

  She leaned back and pulled back on her belly exposing Sam's quick fix on her jeans. She hadn't bothered to change and Jules started laughing. "You look like a busted can of biscuits."

  Smacking him on the bicep she laughed. "That's exactly what I told Sam this morning."

  "Okay, so why is that an issue then? I still don't get it."

  "There's no skin left to pinch. It's too tight. Here, look." She turned to face him and sat with her legs crisscrossed on the couch. "Lay back."

  He did what she said and she pulled up his shirt to expose his beautifully tanned abs. "See your stomach looks flat?"

  "Hey, it is flat. I work very hard for this."

  Charlie held up her hand to get him to shut up. "I'm not insulting you. I'm making a point so just shut up and watch." She pinched his skin lightly so she did not hurt him and pulled it up. "See how your skin raises?"

  "Well, yeah. It's skin. It's supposed to do that." He looked at her like she was stupid and it made her want to break his nose. She let go and pulled his shirt back down, lifting her own. "Now, look." She tried pinching her own, but it wouldn't grab the same way. Her body was holding so much water that her skin wouldn't allow her to pinch it off the way she needed to. "I have to be able to pinch the skin up and away from my body like I did with yours to give the shot and not want to die immediately, but it's like fucking impossible. I don't know why I didn't realize sooner that this is why it was fucking with my mind. I guess I knew it, but I didn't. You know what I mean?"

  The look in his eyes was a mixture of realization and understanding. "So, basically you just had to jab the needle into your stomach without pinching it because you couldn't anymore and that's why you've been freaking and stopped taking it?"

  She nodded an
d shrugged prior to wiping the tears away that had spilled over onto her cheeks.

  "What I want to know is why you feel like you can't explain things to me the same way you just did to him." Sam leaned against her bedroom doorframe with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

  Charlie's head shot up. She was wide-eyed at the sound of his voice. She couldn't tell if he was pissed or just upset because his face was unreadable.

  "Hey, man," Jules called out and nodded his head to him in acknowledgment.

  This made Charlie nervous. There was already so much tension between the guys that she wasn't sure if things were going to explode, especially if Sam had just seen everything she'd just shown Jules, no matter how harmless it'd been.

  "Hey," Sam responded as he pushed off the door frame and headed toward them. Charlie scrambled away from Jules, instantly worried Sam would have an issue with her being too close to him. She wasn't sure why she cared all of a sudden and it worried her further where her go fuck yourself attitude had disappeared to. He sat down on the edge of the couch across from them but didn't say anything else.

  Jules spoke up first. "I'm not trying to cause any problems between you guys, Sam. I'll leave."

  "No. You don't need to go anywhere Jules. This pissing match is ridiculous and it needs to stop. She needs us both and I see that." Then he turned his attention toward Charlie. "Babe, I just don't understand why you don't try to explain things to me the way you just did to him. If you would have showed me about the shots or even tried to talk to me about them, I wouldn't have gotten so upset, but you just keep blindsiding me with shit that you keep from me. I end up finding out in front of other people. Do you understand how that makes me feel?"

  The tears just fell at a rapid fire pace. Both guys moved for her at the same time, each taking a hand. "I wasn't trying to upset you. I just needed to let you know what was on my mind."

  She knew he was right. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to blindside you but I keep doing it, don't I?"

 

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