by Rene Folsom
“She loved them… and totally kicked my ass,” I said, running my fingers through my hair in exasperation at the fact she really did kick my ass. It would’ve been one thing if I let her win, which was totally not in my nature, but it was completely different to constantly get raked over the coals by a girl—hot or not.
“Well, that’s a given,” he said, laughing at me as he backed out of the doorway. “She sure as hell knows what she’s doing when it comes to gaming. She has way more skills than you, that’s for sure.”
“Thanks for that vote of confidence, friend,” I said sarcastically as I shut the door and locked it behind me. “But she had some good feedback. That’s the most important thing.”
“You’re not using her for sex just to get a new outside source of testing, are you?” he said, incredulity staining his voice with every word.
“You know me better than that, Thad.” Little did he know that I had to reveal my innermost secret to her last night. Even he didn’t know what I had to spill, my innards completely curling in on myself at just the thought of telling him. It was a rare day that my best friend didn’t know something about me.
“Yeah, man. I’m sorry,” Thad said, apologizing as I got to my office door and contemplated shutting him out. I knew that would be harsh though, especially considering he was having a hard time dealing with not having me at his disposal all the time. “I hope you got some good pointers from her. She knows her games, that’s for damn sure.”
“I got some good info, and I also realized the game is all too easy to conquer. She managed to eliminate me in a little over an hour,” I explained, walking into my office and removing my jacket, throwing it on the couch where she once sat, my mind immediately gravitating toward that day. What I wouldn’t give to bend her over the plush arm of that couch and have my way with her. Man, I had it bad.
“Shit, she must’ve beat your ass then. You might want to consider bringing her on as a tester, even if you outsource her. She sounds like the challenge this company needs.” His tone wasn’t condescending or demeaning in any way. He was actually being serious, which surprised me. Maybe he’d start accepting my relationship with her sooner than I thought.
He was right. Yet, part of me knew I shouldn’t be mixing business with pleasure like this. I was flirting with disaster as it was. Hiring her would only complicate the situation even more, and I didn’t need additional snags in my life.
“I’ll think about it. Anything on the schedule I need to know about today?” I asked him, my question switching to complete professionalism and hoping he got the hint.
“Only a meeting with Mr. Kroger. No marketing agendas today,” he said, backing out of the room as if to give me my space. He was definitely a good friend, reading my moods before I knew them myself.
“Ahh, cool beans. Thanks. I’ll probably need a lunch buddy later if you’re up for it,” I told him, holding the door as I watched him continue to back out of my office. Did he see something in me that frightened him? “Maybe we can meet up in the break room and game while we stuff our faces.”
“Good. My mimi packed way too much food for me, so I’ll share,” he said, smiling and trotting away before I got a chance to make fun of him. In all honesty, I was jealous he had such a solid family life. But that didn’t keep me from poking at him every time he rubbed it in my face. I should’ve been thankful though—his grandma’s cooking was a-fucking-mazing.
*****
My meeting with Kroger was rather predictable. Since he was co-owner of the company, he and I had meetings on a weekly basis to go over boring financials and outlining development. In the beginning, he was the financial backing, while I was the brains. Now, part of me wished I could buy him out so I didn’t have to deal with explaining to him what we were currently working on. It seemed like tons of unnecessary oxygen wasted on our meetings, when he could clearly read the reports drawn up by my employees each day if he chose to. I guessed it made him feel better to know I was on top of things—my experience meaning more to him than anyone beneath me.
“Mr. Allen?” A disembodied voice filled the room, interrupting the last of my meeting with Kroger.
“Yeah, Danni,” I called out, thankful our front desk receptionist was fairly cool, her voice not bothering me one little bit like the other twit we had last year.
“Sorry to interrupt, but you’re needed in the development room. It’s a bit urgent.” She paused, waiting for my response. I wrinkled my brow at what could be urgent—most of what we did wasn’t all that time sensitive, and we had a rigorous backup system, so I was left guessing.
Looking at Kroger, he nodded that we were finished, okay with the fact I had a business to run while he sat on his ass and collected his earnings.
“I’ll be right over, thanks.”
My brow furrowed as I stacked a few folders and straightened them by banging them on the conference table before shoving them in my briefcase. They usually didn’t need me for development unless we were more in the testing and budget stages.
“Thanks for keeping things afloat around here, Allen,” Kroger said, shaking my hand like we’d just made a new deal. We’d known each other for over fifteen years, so the fact everything was still so formal seemed odd. Yet, we’d been nothing more than business partners. I guessed it didn’t matter how long you’d known your colleagues—business was business.
“It’s what I love,” I said honestly, shaking in return and walking out, swiftly eating up the few hundred feet to the development studio.
Dane greeted me at the door—well, greeted being the wrong word. Instead, he bombarded me as soon as I walked in.
“Dude, where are they?” he hollered, turning all the employees’ eyes on me as soon as I stepped foot through the door. I felt like I had just been put in front of the firing squad, but for what, I didn’t know.
“What are you blabbering about? Where’s what?” I asked, seriously confused with what was going on.
“The Specter headsets. You took them last night, and now the case is fucking empty,” he said, his breaths coming out in quick pants. I could tell he was flustered. After all, the equipment room was his responsibility. Anything went missing from that room, and his job was on the line. “I’m sorry, Mr. Allen. I just… I’m freaking out a little, you know? ‘Cause this is my department and all, and they’re not in the storage closet like they should be.”
“What?” I exclaimed, dropping my briefcase and practically running to the storage room, eager to see what he was going on about. Once there, I saw what he meant. There sat the case, open and vulnerable, with no headsets inside.
“Dane, I dropped them off here this morning. Ask Thad, he was with me when I did,” I said, pointing to the door. “Who else has access to this room?”
“Just you, me, and Kroger. You sure you locked it… ahh, sir?” I could tell he was getting nervous. He wanted to blame me, but fear I’d fire him kept him from being so foolish.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said as my heart sank. It didn’t take me but a few moments to put two and two together. I had a heartbreaking feeling of what happened, yet I couldn’t seem to get myself to accept the fact I’d been duped. Not by her… no way. “Dane, don’t stress. I think I know what happened. Since you all have the software on your machines, just keep trucking. I’ll be back soon.”
I could hear Dane mumbling something behind me, but I tuned it out, not needing his frustration to compact on my already frazzled mind. I had to get to her—I had to see if she’d actually do this to me.
After everything I’d gone through with her, everything I confessed last night… there was no way she’d do this. There was no way she’d sabotage me like this.
Fuck bravery—elevators were for lazy fools. Taking the stairs two at a time, I berated myself for spilling my heart out to her before I left last night.
Our wager, one I now regretted making with all my soul, was to reveal a secret no one else knew. Mine was a doozy, and she still managed to turn
it against me in the cruelest way.
Hopping in my car, I gassed it, barely looking for oncoming traffic as I floored it toward the Davis Islands condos, cursing the entire way. I thought of calling her, but my fingers were shaking so badly, I just couldn’t make it happen.
Not only that, but I wanted to confront her head on, not give her time to hide the evidence. This was serious, really serious, and I’d be damned if I let her get away with it.
I had to see for myself, see with my own eyes, if she’d really do this to me.
I couldn’t believe I told her I loved her.
That was my secret. My big, bad secret was giving her my heart.
I’d never, ever told someone I loved them before, but here I was, a total schmuck, giving my heart to someone I barely knew. Then again, when I told her, I chose to believe I trusted her. I chose to believe she would return the feelings someday, though I knew it might not be immediate.
I left her with those words ringing in her head. The least she could’ve done was stopped me. A man at least needed a heads up when their soul would be ripped to shreds like a scrap of paper on a windy night.
Pulling into the visitor parking, I didn’t waste any time making it to the front desk, hoping the same guy from last night would still be on duty. Of course, I wasn’t so lucky and had to announce my presence.
If she were smart, if she really did manage to pull the wool over my eyes, she’d better run. Not that I’d ever hurt her, nor did I want her to run, but I sure as hell would call the cops. No one treated me as a fool and got away with it… love or not—this was war.
Chapter Nine
Maci: Secret Identities
I knew he had figured it out. There was no other explanation as to why he’d be back… no other reason he’d turn around and come see me mid-morning like this. My heart broke into shards with what I’d done, my calls to him going completely unanswered as I tried desperately to fix it.
When he’d asked me to pack up the Specter headsets, I was beside myself. He trusted me, and I completely betrayed that trust by stashing them away in my entertainment center¸ the hard case being heavy enough on its own for him to never notice the difference.
Before he walked out the door—and I mean right before he walked away from my life—he told me his secret. By that time, our wager had completely left my mind, the prototypes being the only thing I could think of while they were hidden, and not in the case he was holding, my heart pounding at the fact I was deceiving one of the most important people in my life.
A tear welled up in my eye as he spoke the words, his voice quivering with the unadulterated truth.
“I’m falling in love with you, Maci. That’s my big secret. I don’t want you to respond now, because I know you’re thinking I’m only saying this to fulfill my debt to the game, but the reality is that you’ve owned my heart since that fateful New Year’s night. I think about you when I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night. Now that my soul knows you, I’d be completely lost without you in my life.”
As soon as the words rushed from his mouth, he turned and walked away, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I couldn’t help but drop to my knees, a sob escaping my chest at the heaviness of what I’d just done.
I was an idiot to not run after him right at that moment and beg for his forgiveness. I was selfish, cruel, and now, once he saw the real me in the brightness of daylight, it was too late. I’d fucked up the only good thing in my life because I was too blinded by my own greediness to see the beauty in what we were building together.
A knock on the door had me jumping, my stomach firmly placed in my throat as I cleared it and said, “Come in.”
Liam, poking his head around the door, eased his way into my home, examining my face—the same face that betrayed him the night before.
I sat on the couch, my head down, unable to look him in the eye as he made his way toward me and sat on the coffee table directly in front of me. I knew he knew. I knew he wanted answers. I also knew I didn’t have a valid reason for what I’d done. I knew it was cowardly of me to even attempt it, and freak out the second I knew his true feelings for me. I definitely knew he could see through my weaknesses—right to the core of my true self—someone who only thought of herself and no one else.
“I’m sorry,” I said, blurting out the only thing I could think to say and knowing it would never be enough. “Before you say anything, before you react to what I’ve done, I need to show you something.”
“I really don’t think there’s anything you can show me that will fix this, Maci,” he said, his tone expressing more hurt than anger.
“Please, I need to show you my secret before any more words are spoken.”
With that, he nodded, his head bobbing in defeat.
My legs shook as I stood, unsure if I’d even be able to muster the strength to show him what I’d been hiding for so long.
I offered him my hand, yet he refused to take it, standing on his own and waiting for me to walk. Pain filled my insides. I knew, no matter what I showed him, he’d never forgive me. I didn’t blame him, yet I still felt like I owed him the truth.
Concentrating on breathing, I walked, taking one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, as he followed, allowing me to silently lead him to my office. My home seemed eerie, evil in a way… like the boogeyman was just waiting around the corner for us, ready to jump out and take our souls the moment he locked eyes with us—with me.
Pushing the door open, I cringed at the sound of it squeaking as I flicked the light on, stepping aside so Liam could see what lay beyond the doorway.
After a few moments, his body now several feet inside my sanctuary, he said, “What’s this?”
“This… is my office,” I mumbled, gesturing to the desk and the shelves and shelves of books. All of my book covers hung on the wall, enlarged and framed. Other than my grandmother, he was the only person I’d allowed in this room. Even Sam hasn’t seen my office, and she knew who I was.
“So, you thought that if I knew you were an M.L. Thomas fan, it’d make everything okay? Really, Maci?” he said, his anger blatantly obvious in his tone.
“No, I’m not an M.L. Thomas fan. Especially not now,” I said, hoping he’d feel the honesty in my words.
“Then, what the hell?”
“Maci Layne… my father’s name was Thomas.” I was hoping he’d get it… he’d make the connection without me having to spell it out letter for letter. Yet, instead, his eyes squinted, his concentration obviously maxed out with all the new revelations I was throwing at him.
Suddenly, his eyes went as wide as saucers, his feet backing him up toward the door out of pure instinct to distance himself from the crazy author lady.
“This isn’t funny, Maci. This isn’t some joke. You can’t play me like this!” he yelled, his finger and thumb pressing into his eye sockets like he was in some serious pain.
“I’m not playing games this time, Liam. I needed you to know that. Regardless of what happens, regardless of my reasons, I need you to know who I am—because it’s going to come out to the world tomorrow. I needed you to at least find out from me first. I owe you that.”
“You owe me a hell of a lot more than that!” he seethed, his body suddenly surging toward me, his finger poking me in the chest as if that would make his words any crueler.
“I know. You’ll get them back. They’re waiting for you by the door,” I said, watching his eyes dart toward my office door like he wanted to run, grab his prototypes, and get the hell away from me. “But,” I added, grabbing his arm and holding onto him, hoping and praying my touch will stall him long enough for me to explain. “I need you to know… I need…”
God, how was I supposed to explain my actions to a man who was clearly not going to forgive easily? Tears streamed down my face, my body shaking, my fingernails digging into his arm with such force, it made him cringe.
“Just spit it out. Spare us both the pain and get it over w
ith, Maci.” His voice was cold, detached, like he knew better than to spend another ounce of his energy on someone as pitiful as me.
“Big Jim.”
Those two vile and repulsive words had his full attention. Those two words made the cruelty melt from his face for a fraction of a second, shock taking place where anger once was.
I nodded. “He threatened me, threatened to go to the public about my identity if I didn’t help him—if I didn’t get the Specter prototypes to him by the end of the week. I’m so sorry, Liam! When you asked me to pack them up for you, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have enough time to think it through. I just acted. And I know now my actions were unforgiveable. I know there’s no way you’d be willing to trust me again. But I just needed you to know, I never wanted to hurt you. But my identity not only protected me, it protects my grandmother, it protects those I love around me. I’d been in the dark for so many years. The thought that the spotlight would suddenly be on me scared me shitless. I just… I panicked.”
With a strong sniff, I wiped my tears away and looked at Liam, gauging his reaction and praying he’d understand, begging him to forgive me, even though I knew it was a lost cause.
Moments passed—silent moments that ate away at my heart. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, couldn’t read his features. He stood there, not moving, not talking, not looking at me—hell, it didn’t even look like he was breathing. The only motion was the harsh tick of his jaw muscles as he stood there and chewed on my words.
It seemed like forever before he finally broke the silence.
“You mean to tell me you’d actually consider stealing from me instead of confessing to the public your true identity?” His words were still harsh, unfeeling, like metal grinding against metal, my skin crawling at the cruelty.
“That was before you said…”
“It doesn’t matter what I said!” he yelled, cutting me off and making me cringe at his forcefulness. “You obviously never felt the same way if you would even consider screwing me over just to save your ass.”