Heart Unseen

by Andrew Grey

  “Good. Rudy is going to man the station, so make sure he has all the paperwork and everything he needs. He’ll close up in a few hours.”

  “Okay.” Scott didn’t leave.

  “Is there something I can help you with?” There was tension Trevor couldn’t quite understand.

  Scott bit his lower lip. “Is it true that Brent is going to be the manager here?”

  “Yes. He’ll start on Monday. Brent’s a good man and he’ll do a fine job.” Trevor had no doubt that Brent would treat his people right. “Is there something wrong? Do you have concerns about him?”

  Scott shook his head. “I was just asking. Alan hired me, and I know he was….”

  “You have nothing to worry about. I’m not going to paint you into the same picture with Alan. You do good work and I’m happy with it. So you don’t worry about what Alan did. It doesn’t reflect on you as far as I’m concerned.”

  Scott nodded nervously. “Thank you.” He left the office in a hurry, and Trevor wondered what that was truly all about. But he didn’t have the time to deal with it at the moment.

  Trevor gathered the few things he needed and stopped to talk to Rudy. Then he got on his bike and roared off.

  His hands shook. Trevor had to concentrate on his driving and controlling his hands. He was nervous, and Trevor was not a nervous kind of guy. He stopped at the Glendale garage, like he’d promised his father, and it was closed up tight just as it should be. Then he continued home.

  He’d bought a center-entrance, cream-colored brick colonial in Whitefish Bay during the last days of the housing crisis. He liked the house and the neighborhood. To him, a house in this affluent suburb meant a small level of success.

  He pulled his bike into the garage next to his Mustang, closed the overhead door, and hurried inside. Trevor’s decorating was spare, with comfortable, overstuffed furniture that was more about how it felt than its decorative qualities. It wasn’t high-end or fancy, and on the walls were pictures of some of the cars Trevor had helped bring back to life over his career. He laid his jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and went right up to his bedroom. He had to leave in fifteen minutes, so he stripped down and showered in record time before dressing in dark jeans and a white button-down shirt. Nice-looking but simple. On his way out, he grabbed his leather jacket, slung it over his shoulder, and sauntered out to his car.

  Traffic across town was a nightmare, but he managed to make it close to on time. The downtown interchange had been a nightmare. James was sitting in a chair on his small porch, pressing a button on his watch. He didn’t get up until Trevor got out of the car and was coming up the walk.

  “Trevor?” James broke into a smile.

  “Yes. Sorry if I’m a little late.” He bounded up the steps and gave James a quick kiss. If they’d have been inside, he’d have done more. But even so, heat spread through him like a wildfire. “You look very nice.” Trevor touched James’s arm and then guided him out to the car.

  “Thank you.”

  Trevor opened the door and waited for James to get inside.

  “Where are we going?” James asked once Trevor got behind the wheel.

  “There’s an Indian restaurant not far from here, and I thought we could go there. It’s traditional and the food is very good.”

  James sat still. “You know I usually make a mess. You saw what happened the other night at the country club.”

  “That’s the beauty of it. A lot of the food you can eat with your fingers, so you don’t need to worry about knives and forks. I love the samosas, which are a large dumpling-like pocket. You definitely eat those with your fingers. So please don’t worry about it.” He had tried to find a place where James wouldn’t feel self-conscious.

  “Cool.” James smiled, and the temperature in the car rose by a few degrees. “What about after dinner?”

  “Go-karts,” Trevor said, excited.

  “Umm. You do know I can’t drive?” James’s tone told him he thought Trevor was crazy.

  “There’s a track a few miles away. It’s indoors and they have go-karts for two people. So I’ll drive, and you’ll be able to ride, and we can race other people together.”

  “You really like things with wheels, don’t you?” James asked, but didn’t seem to hate the idea.

  “I do. But I also wanted to try to find something you’ve never done before. Have you ridden a horse?”

  “Yes. We have a stable that we work with through the school. I’m actually pretty good. Maybe we could do that sometime if you want. I like it and I can call the stable. They understand what it takes for me to ride.”

  “That would be fun.” Trevor pulled up in front of the small restaurant, located in a gas station building from the twenties. The building had been derelict before the family who owned the restaurant bought and renovated it. Now it was a showplace with awesome food. “Let me come get you.” He hurried around to James’s side and helped him out. “We’re about twenty feet from the door, and there are two single steps.” He talked James through getting into the restaurant and up to a table.

  “This smells like heaven. Just get me something you like. I’ve never had Indian food so this will be new.”

  As far as Trevor was concerned, that was a home run. “All right. I’ll be right back.” He went up to the counter and ordered some samosas, Tandoori chicken, and chicken biryani, as well as some sides. He was mistaken about eating everything with their fingers, but got extra plates and brought the food back to the table, along with a couple sodas. “Here’s a samosa. Go ahead and eat with your hands. The others will need forks, but I’ll get a plate set up for you.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “I have a tray as well, so you eat and enjoy. Don’t worry about anything.” He chatted as he made up a plate. “The chicken is at six o’clock, the tikka at two, and the veggies at ten. I have another samosa if you like it, and your drink is at the upper right with a straw and lid on it.” Trevor made up his own plate and began to eat. “How was work?”

  “Interesting. I’m working with a teenager this time. He was in an accident and lost his sight at sixteen, so he’s mad at the world. One of the first things that’s important is allowing yourself to rely on your other senses. I do a lot of special sensory exercises and try to increase their sense of smell. It’s used little when you can see, but tells us a lot about the world around us. Like I can tell, even over all the spices in the air, whenever they open the back door, because I get a whiff of dumpster.”

  “Oh.”

  “You learn to ignore some things.” James smiled. “And it isn’t strong, just there slightly. Lee needs to learn things like that, but he’s too angry. We’re all trying to help him through this so he can progress. Little successes lead to bigger ones.”

  “I can understand that. What did he like to do before he lost his sight?” Trevor asked.

  “He’s sixteen and was about to get his license. So all he wanted to do was drive. Now he’ll never be able to, of course. Apparently cars were a passion of his.”

  “I can understand how he might feel.”

  “Yes, I suppose you can. But he’s a teenager, so everything is raging. He’s also convinced that no girl is going to want to look at him. The accident physically damaged his eyes, and there has been some surgery to help correct his face. He isn’t bad to look at, or so I’ve been told, and has a few scars, but he’s convinced himself that he’ll be alone forever and have to live with his mom and dad until he dies. I have to remember that it takes baby steps, and Lee isn’t going to get better and change his attitude all at once.” James returned to his food, finishing the samosa and tasting the rest. The sounds of gustatory delight were sexy as hell.

  “Why don’t you see if Lee wants to come to the garage in Brown Deer? I have a young mechanic, Scott, and maybe the two of them will hit it off and they can work together.”

  The smile Trevor got for that suggestion was bright enough to rival the sun.
/>   “You’re serious?”

  “Sure,” Trevor answered, and James finished off the last of his saffron rice, spilling a few grains around the edge of his plate. “You were hungry.”

  “Yeah, I guess I was. Usually after eating out, I end up having a sandwich at home because I’m afraid to eat a lot in case I make a mess.”

  “How about you worry less about messes, which can be cleaned up, and more about what you’re eating. At least with me.” Trevor loved that James was happy, and he was a little pissed off at James’s family for making him feel insecure.

  “Do you have other plans for this weekend?” James asked. “I’m going into school tomorrow because Lee’s family asked if we’d spend extra time with him. They’re beside themselves. It’s hard for them to know what to do, and there’s a lot of guilt there. His mother was driving the car and came out without a scratch apparently. I’m told the accident wasn’t her fault. Debris fell off a freeway overpass, sending glass and a piece of concrete with steel embedded in it flying through the car.”

  Trevor stopped eating for a second and tried not to picture what James had just described. “I’m working tomorrow, and Sunday I’m going to my dad’s and, hopefully for him, his new fiancée’s for dinner.”

  “Tell your father congratulations for me. That must be exciting.”

  “It is.” Maybe what his dad said put the idea in his head. Trevor wasn’t sure, but his mouth engaged before his brain. “My dad said I could bring someone—would you like to come with me?”

  James stopped midchew, then seemed to force himself to swallow. “You’re inviting me to meet your family? Your dad and his new fiancée?”

  “Yes. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I know it’s last-minute notice and you might not be comfortable. But I’ll be with you, and my dad and Margaret are both very nice.”

  “I’m sure they are. But….”

  Trevor reached across the table. “It’s okay. You don’t need to worry about answering either way.” He stroked the back of James’s hand, sorry he’d made James uncomfortable. “Just forget I asked.”

  “No. I’m flattered you asked. But do they know… about me?”

  “I told my dad that we were going out, and if you’re asking if I told him that you were visually impaired, then I did. I’m not ashamed of you or worried in any way about being seen with you.”

  “But I know I’m awkward and not the best in social situations. What if I say something wrong?”

  “If you come, just be yourself. That’s all that’s needed. My dad and Margaret are good people.”

  “I’m sure they are.”

  “So you’ll come?”

  James hesitated. “Yes. I’d like to.”

  “Good.” Trevor wondered why he’d been so hesitant in the first place. James deserved to be treated nicely. He finished his dinner and took care of the remains, letting James take his time.

  “Damn, that was good.” James sat back, finishing his soda, and Trevor cleaned up the rest. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes. Go-karts await.” Trevor thanked the lady behind the counter, complimenting her on the food, and then helped James back into the car and they continued on to their next stop.

  “THIS IS fun!” James cried from the seat next to him as they zoomed around the track. “I like this better than riding in the car because I can feel what’s coming.” The excitement in James’s entire body was contagious. “I love this turn!” James whooped as Trevor took the turn at high speed, the back wheels skidding a little, and then they leapt forward with another cry from James. “I’m going to wet myself and I don’t care!”

  Trevor laughed as he continued driving, passing the lead car and zooming across the finish line in first place at the end of the last lap. “Yes! We won!” They made a final lap at slow speed and drove into the boarding area. “Do you want to go again?”

  “We’ve raced three times already.” James grinned, and Trevor handed the attendant his final ticket, and the two of them went on a fourth race. James’s happy cries and laughter were enough to propel Trevor forward at greater speed. It was worth it.

  Once the race was over and they were back at the start, Trevor got out and helped James to his feet.

  “That was awesome.”

  “I’m glad you had a good time. What else do you like to do for fun? It’s still early.”

  “I don’t know. I spend a lot of time listening to books. Television sort of sucks when you can’t see what’s going on, and listening to the radio all the time will drive you crazy, believe me. I listen to a lot of music and I work. I have a computer that speaks to me so I can use it for work and stuff. I have things for a snack at the house. I could make something for you.”

  Trevor nodded to himself. “How about frozen custard? Leon’s is just a few blocks away.”

  “I have ice cream at the house and it’ll be easier to eat.”

  “Okay.” Trevor didn’t want the evening to end. He was having a great time, but he got James in the car and drove them back to James’s house.

  James found his way easily to the front door, with Trevor following. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that James was blind. He moved with such confidence and grace, Trevor couldn’t pull his gaze away.

  “Please sit down and make yourself comfortable.” James continued through to the kitchen. “Ice cream is a gift from the gods. I have vanilla, chocolate, mint chip, and butter pecan. I always like something different, so Mrs. Ledbetter gets me all different kinds.”

  Trevor wandered into the kitchen behind him. “How do you know which is which without tasting them?”

  James opened the freezer. “The vanilla is in a small round container, the mint chip in a large round one, the chocolate is square, and the butter pecan oblong.” He looked as though the answer was completely obvious, and it made perfect sense. “What do you like?”

  “Chocolate, please,” Trevor answered, and James got it out. He moved through his kitchen with ease, getting a bowl and dishing out a portion. He had to touch it to make sure he knew what he was doing, but Trevor didn’t mind. Watching James was fascinating. James was a marvel. He put the container back right where it had been, got Trevor a spoon, and handed him the bowl.

  “I’ll be right in.” James dished himself some butter pecan, and Trevor sat in the living room, eating slowly as he waited for James to join him. “I love this, but I have to be careful. Ice cream can be really messy.” He had his bowl and a tray. He sat and placed the tray on his lap with the bowl on it and started to eat. “The thing is, if I make a mess at home, I have to figure out how to clean it up, or if I don’t know about it, wait for someone to come in. Once I spilled milk on the floor and thought I’d wiped it up. I hadn’t and slipped the next time I was in the kitchen.”

  “I’ll check before I go to make sure there’s nothing left in there that could hurt you later.” Trevor finished his ice cream and set the bowl aside, then sat quietly while James finished his. Trevor took care of the dishes, rinsing them and placing them in the sink before returning to the living room. He sat back down, looking at James, wondering what to do next.

  “So what comes next on a date?” James asked.

  Trevor chuckled. “You’re asking me? Usually my nights begin and end in the bedroom and that’s about it. I’m trying to be a gentleman here and not rush things. It is the first date I’ve had in a while.”

  “What did you do on your last first date?”

  “I was nineteen, and Chase and I were teenagers. We had a nice date and then ended up making out on the sofa in his parents’ basement until we heard his dad at the top of the stairs. It was so exciting and we knew we were pushing things, but we were young and stupid.” He remembered those times fondly. “I thought I’d found the very gates of heaven and all the questions about why we were on this earth had been answered.”

  “Well, I’ve had a few dates and they didn’t go very well for the most part, except one. His name was Collin and he was
really nice at the start. My mom even liked him. But it didn’t work out.”

  “What did you do on that first date?” Trevor asked.

  James smirked, stood, and walked over to him, leaned down, and kissed him. Trevor hugged James to him. He was like a live wire, shaking with energy. Trevor steadied him, holding James so he didn’t fall, while returning the kiss that intensified by the second.

  “Trevor,” James breathed. “Will you take me to bed?”

  He was taken aback. “Are you sure?”

  “Do you have any idea what it’s like to go years without touching anyone or being touched? Sometimes I feel like I’m a desert, but instead of being starved for water, it’s simple human touch.” James hugged him tightly, resting his head on Trevor’s shoulder, and Trevor was afraid that James might be crying. He wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to strip James of his dignity, so he held him.

  Chapter 4

  JAMES SNIFFED and wanted to smack himself out of total embarrassment. This was not the time for him to go to pieces like some teenager. He’d wanted his independence, but he hadn’t realized it would come with such a price. Other than at work, his life was pretty lonely, but letting his emotions come to the surface like this in front of Trevor was completely mortifying. He was going to think James was a pity fuck, and then Trevor would be gone. James stayed where he was, trying to hide his reaction until he could get himself under control. This was ridiculous. He was a guy, and Trevor was interested in taking him to bed.

  “Go on and get yourself cleaned up. I’ll make sure the house is locked and that all the lights are out.”

  James sighed very softly, glad Trevor hadn’t seemed to notice his reaction. He backed away, turning so Trevor couldn’t see his face, and walked slowly toward the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and finally wiped his eyes. Jesus, this was too weird for words. Maybe he was just meant to be alone and a boyfriend was too much to ask for, or maybe it was more than he could take. James washed his face and brushed his teeth, automatically reaching for the items where he knew they’d be. When he was done, he left the bathroom.