Hopelessly Broken (A New Adult romance)

by Ward, Tamryn

  The beauty of his confession made it impossible for her to reject him, even though she was still scared. Would he hurt her again?

  Maybe.

  But he still loved her. He really loved her. And right now, that was what she craved more than anything. She wanted love.

  She wanted someone to hold her and tell her everything would be okay--even though another guy’s image flashed in her head every now and then.

  That guy was Aeron.

  Oh God, Aeron.

  What about him?

  He’d told her they could never be.

  He would be leaving soon.

  Gone.

  And once he left, he might never return.

  No, Aeron was a dream, an impossibility, a fantasy, just like her stories. Bobby was real. He was here. And he wasn’t leaving…this time…she hoped.

  He cupped her chin and lifted it, gazing into her eyes. “Please tell me I can kiss you again. I’ve been waiting for a long time to tell you these things. To sing you that song.”

  “Kiss me,” she whispered.

  His head inched lower, and her eyelids drifted shut. When his lips found hers, a shower of electric sparks crackled around her. Her body warmed instantly.

  This was the kiss she knew. It was comforting. Sweet. Gentle. Nothing like Aeron’s hard possession. But it was nice. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, letting her body say what her words could not. She had missed him. Terribly. And she was so grateful he’d come back. That song, that amazing song, had drawn all the feelings she’d been tamping down back to the surface. Her heart was thumping so hard she could hear it.

  He stopped the kiss much too soon, his hand cupping her face. “There’s someone at the door,” he whispered.

  “Oh!” She hadn’t heard a thing but the pounding of her heart.

  A little dizzy, she pushed up from the couch. “It has to be my case worker. She asked when you would be home from work. Remember, you’re my cousin.”

  “Got it. Cousin. Kissing cousin.” He winked.

  “We don’t need to tell her that last part.”

  “Of course not. I just couldn’t resist.”

  She checked her reflection in the mirror before going to the door. Her lips were a little swollen from kissing Bobby. And slightly red. Her hair was a little mussed. She hoped Mrs. Tate wouldn’t notice. She smoothed her hand over her head and went to the door.

  It wasn’t Mrs. Tate.

  It was Aeron.

  “Hi.” His gaze went right to her mouth, as if he’d known what she’d been doing. Feeling guilty for some crazy reason, her face heated. Then his gaze jerked up to her eyes. It didn’t stay there long. Within a second it jumped over to Bobby, who was plucking at his guitar. “Oh, you have company.”

  Now really, really nervous and jittery, Jenn glanced over her shoulder. “Aeron, this is Bobby. Bobby, this is Aeron. Aeron is…a friend of Logan’s. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

  “Thanks,” Aeron grumbled.

  Jenn caught a glimpse of something in Aeron’s eyes as she hurried past him. But it vanished before she could figure out what it was. Leaving Aeron standing inside the front door, she pounded up the stairs to Logan’s room. Inside her chest, her heart thrummed as fast as a hummingbird’s.

  She had two guys in her house. Two. And she had feelings for both of them.

  But one—Aeron--she couldn’t have. It was a lost cause. Not to mention he’d made it crystal clear he didn’t want her.

  So why did she feel so guilty when he looked her in the eyes? Why?

  What did he expect from her?

  What did they both expect?

  Twelve

  Aeron Driscol was pissed. At himself.

  Jennifer hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d done exactly what he’d told her to. She had moved on. She was letting him go.

  He had no right to be jealous.

  He had no right to be frustrated.

  She certainly deserved to be happy.

  She did, dammit.

  His gut knotted.

  He was just so fucking weak and selfish. He wanted her to himself. He wanted to be the one sitting on her couch. He wanted to be the one solving her problems and making her life better. He wanted to be the one she turned to when she was sad or scared.

  But that was impossible.

  No, he couldn’t do any of those things. Instead of making her life better, he was going to take the one person from her who mattered most.

  All because of something that had happened a long time ago.

  He was the bound servant to Samael, the angel of death. Every twenty-eight days he was assigned a new soul to escort to the other side. Every fucking twenty-eight days he moved to another town, created a new fake life, hunted down that month’s soul and, when the time came, escorted him or her to the Other Side. If he failed to gain their trust, the person might opt to go it alone. He’d had several of his early souls do that. The majority had lingered in this world, watching the people they had known struggle through their remaining years, grow old, and eventually abandon their shroud to join them. But a few had chosen to travel The Path alone and had become lost between the world of the living and paradise.

  He couldn’t let that happen to Logan. He wouldn’t. But dammit, he didn’t want to take the kid from his older sister. He wasn’t sure he could. Jennifer had already lost so much. Her mother and father. Her youth.

  Her hope.

  When she lost Logan too…Shit. Shitshitshit.

  “Hi Aeron!” Logan, the wide-eyed, loveable seven year old, half-walked, half-jumped down the stairs like a playful colt. “Are you ready?”

  “I sure am. So is Cojack.” The squirmy pathetic excuse for a dog in his arms wriggled, tail wagging so hard his whole body vibrated from the motion. Cojack loved Logan. And Logan loved Cojack.

  “Okay.” Logan grabbed a boot and crammed his foot into it. “Jenny, we’re going to take Cojack for a walk.”

  “It’s pretty cold out,” the boy’s older sister shouted from the couch. She had her computer on her lap—probably writing. Not long ago Aeron had learned she’d quit school and taken up writing fulltime to support herself and Logan. He couldn’t help respecting her for her commitment to her brother, and her determination to do whatever it took to keep him safe and happy. She was a wonderful, beautiful, loving, intelligent girl. A girl he couldn’t stop kissing once he started. A girl he couldn’t stop dreaming about once his eyes were closed. “Wear a hat and gloves!”

  “Okay.” Logan shoved his arms into his coat and clomped to the door. No hat. No gloves.

  Aeron stepped in front of him, cutting off his exit. “Where’s the hat and gloves?”

  Logan pointed at his head. “You’re not wearing any.”

  Busted. The kid didn’t miss a thing, little shit. “Yes, well. I would wear them if I had some. Your sister’s right. It is cold.”

  “I could loan you some of mine,” Logan offered.

  Of course Aeron couldn’t refuse, not without looking like a hypocrite. “I don’t know if they’ll fit…”

  “Here.” Logan stomped over to the chest next to the door, scraped open a drawer and dug through its contents. “Try these.” He held out a bright blue hat with some kind of cartoon character on it and a pair of striped gloves.

  “Thanks.” Feeling ridiculous, but wanting to set a good example, Aeron set Cojack down and donned the offered hat and gloves.

  A giggle echoed from the living room. A soft feminine giggle.

  Logan giggled too.

  “What’s so funny?” Aeron asked, checking his reflection in the mirror hanging above the dresser.

  Well, it was no wonder. He couldn’t help laughing too. He looked like a total moron. He stepped to the side and briefly caught Jennifer’s reflection in the mirror. She was looking at him. Their gazes tangled.

  “You look funny. But at least you’ll be warm.” Logan, now wearing a hat and gloves too, grabbed Cojack’s leash and pulle
d open the door. “Be back in a while!” he called before pushing through the storm door.

  “Bye. Be careful,” Jennifer shouted at their backs as Aeron detangled his gaze from hers to follow her brother.

  Outside, he tried to distract himself from thinking about how sweet Jennifer had looked by asking Logan, “So, do you really think I look ridiculous in this hat?” He didn’t need to notice how plump her lips looked today, or how her mussed hair made her look sexy, like she’d just rolled out of bed.

  “No.” Logan snorted.

  “Yes, you do. You think I look stupid. Don’t you? Tell the truth.”

  “Okay. Yes.” He chortled. “You look funny. Really funny. I’ve never worn that hat because it’s too embarrassing. And it looks worse on you.”

  Fighting a guffaw, Aeron smoothed his hands over the hat. Of course, he knew why the kid was laughing. He was a grown man, wearing a hat made for a five-year-old. “What makes it so embarrassing?”

  “Because that’s Diego,” he said, as if it should be obvious.

  “And Diego isn’t cool?”

  “Not if you’re past kindergarten.”

  “But he looks cool.” Aeron tugged off the hat to inspect it. “Look. He has a cool vest on. And what’s that? A backpack?”

  Logan snorted again. “Diego is for babies.”

  “Huh.” Aeron put the uncool Diego hat back on, just because it made Logan laugh, and he loved the sound of it. “I guess I’m clueless.”

  “That’s okay.” Giving him a consoling look, Logan patted his arm. “I can teach you.”

  “Well thanks. I appreciate that. Wouldn’t want people thinking I’m uncool because I’m wearing Diego hats in public.”

  Logan giggled again. Aeron realized he really, really liked that sound. “You’re funny, Aeron. I wish you were still staying at our house. Bobby is staying with us now that you’re gone. He’s okay. He has a cool guitar and he promised to teach me how to play it so I can be in his band.”

  “Wow, that’s awesome! I’m glad your sister found someone else to stay with you.”

  Logan snapped, “What do you mean?”

  Oh crap. He’d screwed up.

  Logan hadn’t known he’d been staying with them for any reason, other than to have a place to stay while his house was being worked on. Thus, there wouldn’t have been any reason for her to find someone else to stay with them.

  Logan pushed for an answer. “You’re glad she found someone? Why? Why does she need someone to stay with us?”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I just think…” What did he think? How could he get out of this one? “I think your sister likes having someone else around. For company.”

  Logan’s lips pursed. He stooped down, snatched up Cojack and cradled him in his arms. Cojack licked his chin. “Jenny has me.”

  Great, now he’d raised Logan’s suspicions and hurt his feelings. He was screwing up royally. “Yes, of course she has you. But you’re in school all day,” he said, offering what he hoped was a believable explanation. “She gets lonely when you’re gone.”

  Logan’s big eyes searched his. “But I wouldn’t mind staying home with her, so she wouldn’t be lonely. She doesn’t need anyone else.”

  “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind staying home.” Aeron gave the boy’s shoulder a shake. “But school’s important. Your sister knows that.”

  In light of what was about to happen, school wasn’t actually important at all. The sad fact was Logan wouldn’t graduate from the second grade. His life would end long before June. But Aeron couldn’t tell him that. He couldn’t tell Jennifer either. Neither could know.

  “I hate school,” Logan grumbled.

  “I don’t know many kids who don’t hate school. I did, too. But, believe me, it’s a lot better than working.”

  “When I grow up, I’m not going to work. I’m going to be a farmer.”

  Clearly Logan had no clue how hard farm work was.

  Logan set the dog down, halting to let the little beast decorate the side of his favorite fire hydrant. “Hey, Aeron. I saw Jenny look at you funny earlier. Why’s that? Is she still mad at you? You said you had a fight--”

  “No, we didn’t fight, and she isn’t mad. I just couldn’t stay at your house anymore.”

  “But I thought you loved her and she loved you. Does it make you sad that Bobby is staying with us now? He used to be her boyfriend before Mom and Dad died. She loved him a lot. When they broke up, she cried and cried.”

  Aeron’s heart jerked. “I hope he doesn’t make her cry again.”

  “Me too. She’s done enough crying lately.”

  Aeron’s heart jerked a second time. “Lately? When?”

  “After you left. I don’t think she was ready for you to go.”

  Talk about making a guy feel like shit. “I don’t think either of us was ready for me to go. But I had to.”

  Thirteen

  They were back.

  Logan. Aeron.

  This was going to be awkward. Worse than it was earlier, and that had been hell. If she could trust anyone else, anyone, she would ask them this favor. But there wasn’t anyone else. There had only been Aeron and Bobby. Aeron Driscol, the mysterious guy who looked just like her novel’s hero, with his shaggy hair, perfect features and killer body, and Bobby Fuller, her ex-boyfriend. The guy who had obliterated her heart not so long ago.

  Aeron had stayed with them briefly. Very briefly. And in that time, they had kissed more than once. Logan had caught them “wrestling” on her bed. She had been one mistake away from giving him her virginity.

  He left after that, giving her some pathetic excuse about not wanting to hurt her.

  Whatever.

  Now Bobby was staying with them, playing the role of her fictional cousin. And, it seemed, trying to play the role of her not-so-fictional boyfriend.

  Within seconds both guys would be here, in the same room. And she was going to ask Aeron of he could babysit Logan so she could go on a date with Bobby…?

  Crap, I can’t do this.

  Yes, yes I can. I can do this. Aeron doesn’t want me. I deserve to have a social life. And who else can I trust?

  The doorknob rattled then turned. The door swung open. Jenn’s heart rate kicked up to double-speed.

  I can’t…

  Logan stomped in. “Hi Jenny! We’re back.” He started jabbering nonstop about their walk and Cojack as Aeron ambled in, stopping just inside the front door.

  Jenn set her computer aside. Bobby was in the kitchen making himself a snack. Good timing. When both Bobby and Aeron were in the same room, her nerves got way too jittery. She couldn’t think straight.

  She needed to think straight right now.

  Aeron cleared his throat and stepped up beside Logan, that little puny dog of his cradled in his arms. It was trembling. Cold. Pathetic.

  “Looks like Cojack needs to be warmed up. How about you put him over here by the radiator for a minute?” Jenn suggested, hoping to buy a minute or two so she could speak with Aeron.

  “That’s okay. I think we should get going.” Aeron tossed a wave at Logan then turned toward the door.

  “See you tomorrow!” Logan shouted. “Jenny, I’m hungry.”

  “Go ahead and grab yourself a snack.” She waved Logan toward the kitchen then hurried after Aeron, catching him just before he stepped outside. “Aeron? Wait.”

  He turned.

  Dammit, he was too close. Her gaze locked with his, and the air in the room became electrified once again. Why did he do that to her? Why? She felt as if some sort of natural force was pulling her toward him. Why couldn’t she feel that strong connection with Bobby?

  “Jennifer?” he asked.

  “I…” Forgot what I was going to say. Shit, what was it again? Wow, your eyes are dark. They seem so…sad.

  His brow lifted.

  She started again, “I…” Your lips are so freaking perfect. And I know how they feel pressed against mine.

  “Ar
e you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She shook her head to clear it. Then she remembered what she’d wanted to ask him. “I was hoping I could ask you for a favor.”

  “Sure. What?” His gaze flicked over her shoulder. Was someone behind her? Bobby?

  She turned. No one was there, but she knew why he’d looked. This was awkward for him too. “I was wondering if you could stay with Logan for a few hours tomorrow night? I’m…going out with some friends. It’s sort of a birthday celebration.”

  “Sure.”

  “It’s just with friends,” she emphasized. “Not a date.” She glanced down. Was she really wringing her hands? Really?

  “Sure.”

  She smoothed her hands down the sides of her thighs. Her palms were sweaty. Her heart was thudding against her breastbone. This was freaking agony. “But we’ll be out late. We’re seeing a band play at a club.”

  “Sure.”

  “It’s been over a year since I’ve been out--”

  Aeron dropped his hands on her shoulders. “Jennifer, I said I would come and stay with Logan. You don’t need to explain anything else. I’m happy to do it. You know how I feel about your brother.”

  She’d opened her mouth to say more but snapped it shut after his interruption. He was right. She didn’t need to explain anything to him. She didn’t owe him anything. Other than… “I’ll pay you.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  “But—“

  “How old are you? Seventeen, right?”

  “Yes. For only two more days.”

  “Whatever. Seventeen. Eighteen. There isn’t much of a difference. Your friends are all going to parties, hanging out every weekend, cutting classes at school…”

  “My former friends,” she clarified, her gaze shifting to one of his hands, still resting on her shoulder. Did he know how that seemingly innocent touch affected her? Did he realize how badly she wanted to lean in and press her mouth to his?

  As if he could read her mind, he let his hands fall from her shoulders. “Maybe I shouldn’t say anything about this. Maybe it’s none of my business. But I think you’ve made enough sacrifices for your little brother. It’s time for you to take back your life. You need to live life for you, not for him.”