Zombielandia

by Lee Wade

  We headed off in the direction of the home. I hadn’t held out much hope as a lot of the houses we had passed on the way had already been broken into and raided too, so why wouldn’t they have raided the home too?

  We rounded a corner and into the street that the home was situated in.

  BANG! Fuck! Someone had just taken a shot at me! Fuck this Becky said, let’s just get back to the boats, no fucking tinned prunes are worth dying for!

  We were just about to turn and head back when we heard someone shouting.

  Up here, sorry, I thought you were one of those restless dead fuckers! The restless dead, I thought, I liked that. I looked up and could see an old man pointing a shot gun at us through a second floor window.

  I shouted up to him, we’re just looking for supplies, we don’t mean anybody any harm, and this is your place, so we’ll be heading back now.

  He shouted back, wait, I’ll come down and let you in, there’s more than enough in here for an old timer like me.

  He disappeared from the window. The gun shot had attracted a few rotters to the noise. CRUNCH, CRUNCH, Becky and I took them out with our trusty weapons.

  Sure enough a few minutes later the old guy had opened the front door of the home and beckoned us in. We had gone inside and he bolted the door behind us again. Follow me he said and don’t open any of the doors, I’ve got the fuckers locked in their rooms, its better that way. I asked him who he was on about. The restless dead he said, the residents, they’re all still here, I couldn’t see the point in wasting shells on them, so I just locked them in their rooms, mind, they’re starting to stink the place up a bit. He wasn’t wrong about that!

  He told us that there was only him left alive in there. Most of the residents had turned early on in the outbreak and he’d just locked their doors as they were all in their rooms anyway. The carers had abandoned them a long time ago, before anyone had actually turned.

  I smuggled my old shot gun in when I first came in this place, I couldn’t bear to leave it behind, and it’s been locked in my locker. Bloody pleased I did now. His name was Edward, Edd for short he’d said.

  Nobody’s ever really bothered me here, so I’ve just stayed he said. If they come into the street, I shoot them, but there isn’t that many around here anymore. A gang came through here about a year ago, a nasty looking bunch; they cleared out a lot of the houses, looking for supplies like you guys I guess. They never bothered with this place though. Maybe they figured it wasn’t worth the bother, but there’s a canny pantry full of stuff in the kitchen. You’re welcome to take some; I’ve stocked up my room with more than enough to last my lifetime.

  We followed Edd to the kitchen which was on the ground floor. Sure enough, the pantry was stocked with catering sized tins and dried goods. Edd also showed us where there were some granny type shopping trollies we could use to transport the stuff. We loaded up a trolley each and also asked Edd for some spare bedding which we got from the laundry room.

  Why don’t you join us, I had asked him and the rest of the guys had agreed. He had been there by himself for almost two years now. But he was adamant that he wanted to stay. I’m eighty eight years old and I’ve been living in this home for the last twenty of them, I’m just fine where I am he had said.

  We had tried to talk him round, the more experience the better we’d learned on our journey so far, and we knew Edd would add value to our group. We were now in a world without technology and we were going to need old timers like Edd to show us how things had been done before.

  We left him some shot gun cartridges and a spare radio. It should work for about thirty miles or so, so if you change your mind, just give us a shout we had told him.

  We stayed and had a drink with Edd and then he showed us out again. As we passed the living area I couldn’t help a little smile to myself. All the residents Zimmer frames were lined along one wall. Walkers, I thought!

  Chapter Forty Six

  We loaded the supplies onto our boats and set off again. We made great progress the rest of that day. The canal once again had a much more rural feel to it after we’d left the junction at Stockingfield. Once we’d passed through Bishopbriggs we were well and truly out in the countryside again. At Cadder we passed through a pleasant wooded area with wonderful picturesque views of the Kelvin valley to the north. We continued east from Townhead Bridge and under another bridge before safely navigating our way through Wyndford lock. We carried on a few miles further east before mooring up for the rest of the afternoon and that night. There were thirteen more locks leading down into Falkirk left to navigate at that point and they would take us back into built up areas again, but once we were through them we would be back at the coast again.

  We all met up on the Hue as we did every night back then and discussed our plan of action for the following day. There was no way we were going to be able to take the Hue into the North Sea. It couldn’t run by itself and it would have been impossible to tow it in the sea. We had also doubted whether or not we would be able to take the Gamebird out into open waters too. It would be too risky for anyone on board. The Saltwind and the Hope were fishing vessels that we had used many times before, so we knew we could use them. But we were heading into autumn then and the weather was so interchangeable and there was no cover on them for more than a couple of people in each cab.

  We decided to strip the Hue of what we needed from it the following morning and take the other three boats. That way we could move quicker and if we found something better, we’d leave the Gamebird too. We were going to be heading for the coast, so we hoped that we would find something suitable on the way, after all once we were on the Firth of Forth there would be many harbours both small and large, so there was sure to be something.

  Chapter Forty Seven

  The following morning we stripped the Hue as planned. Anthony and Becky joined Paul and Sophie on the Hope and Margret and Maddison joined David and Sandie on the Saltwind. This meant that mine and Lia’s families could squeeze onto the Gamebird and at least we’d be able to keep the children warm and comfortable for a day longer. We did our best to build some temporary shelters on the back on the Saltwind and Hue; it was just something to keep the worst of the weather off the guys on there and our supplies.

  We had thirteen locks to navigate that day. The final two being sea locks that would take us finally to the Firth of Forth, not far from the port of Grangemouth and then from there, the North Sea and home.

  We set off at first light. We radioed Edd to tell him we were on our way and would keep in touch with him as long as we could. He hadn’t changed his mind, which was a shame, but he wished us luck on our journey ahead. I figured he had almost found what we were searching for, a safe haven where he could see out this thing in reasonable comfort, but we were looking more long term. We needed somewhere that we could put down roots and give the children a life as normal as possible and also to start to rebuild something from all the shit that was around us. We had wished him well before setting out on our final leg through the canal system.

  The first three locks came in fast succession and we quickly navigated our way through them as we had before using the ropes and barge poles. The landscape once again became more built up. We safely navigated our way through a further four locks, we’d had company at a few of them from rotters, but nothing that we couldn’t handle. At least that was one thing that this journey had done for us. It had trained us how to efficiently take out these rotters! After the industrial area at Bainsford the canal swung sharply north along another canal called the Carron cut, we navigated our way through a fairly new lock and entered a small marina.

  It was a lovely place with a few house boats moored up on one side. On the other side there was a large building that looked like a shopping centre, but we couldn’t be sure as it had been burnt out at some point and so was just an empty shell. We could see movement in the distance around the burnt out buildings, rotters by the looks of the way they had been wandering around aimles
sly. There had been a few of them around the marina area too, so we didn’t stop and just kept heading north. The boats that we had seen wouldn’t have been any better than what we had already and we had thought it would have been too big a risk to take to be honest. We wanted back out into the open water of the Forth and on to the North Sea as soon as was possible, where there would be no more locks and rotters to contend with and we would be much more within our comfort zone.

  We entered the river Carron at a large sea lock which was overlooked by a motorway above. We reached the Forth itself by sailing down the Carron a few hundred yards. Once in the Forth we grouped the three boats together and tied the Gamebird to the Saltwind. We dropped the anchors on the Saltwind and Hope.

  Chapter Forty Eight

  We all gathered on the decks of the boats, adults and kids alike. The atmosphere was jubilant. Everyone was kissing, hugging and high fiving and making as much noise as we wanted to. I felt free again. We’d achieved something amazing and were all proud of ourselves. Even the kids picked up on the atmosphere and were joining in the celebrations. We took a moment to remember the ones that we’d lost on our journey so far. Ben, George, Frank, Alan, Liz, little Kathy and more recently Ken and Gav. They’d all played a part in getting us to that point. David handed a bottle of scotch around and we all toasted the ones we’d lost and thanked them all.

  We hadn’t really planned what we’d do once we reached the Forth, we knew the ultimate plan was to get to the North Sea and then on to Amble and home, but what we were going to do along the way and where we were going to stay each night was something we hadn’t planned in any real detail. We didn’t really care to be honest, there was no real hurry anymore, all we needed to do was get there as safely as possible and without losing anyone else.

  We studied the maps and saw that there was a small island called Inchkeith two hours sailing away at the Gamebird’s top speed. It was smack in the middle of the Forth. We decided to head for Inchkeith island, even if couldn’t find somewhere to land on the Island, there may have been a safe mooring for the night.

  Chapter Forty Nine

  We headed off not long after. We’d been traveling for about an hour when the river started to narrow again as we approached Edinburgh. I felt closer to home than I had for a long time. Edinburgh was only forty five minutes on a train to where we lived. We used to go there Christmas shopping this time of year and had visited the zoo the summer before the outbreak; I wondered what had happened to the animals there. Did someone let them go and if so, were there penguins and panda bears in Scotland now? We passed under the Forth bridges which still amazed me every time I saw them; they truly were amazing feats of civil engineering.

  We saw movement on the road bridge, but there was nothing to worry about, unless rotters had learned how to climb again! We hadn’t encountered any people with the exception of Edd since Dalmuir. We passed under them without any problems and the river immediately opened up again.

  The weather wasn’t great, but we pushed on to Inchkeith Island. We arrived at early evening, just when it was starting to turn to dusk at that time of the year.

  Luckily for us there was a small harbour where we were able to moor the boats and where we were able to get ashore. The Forth had been starting to swell quite badly and the Gamebird had been struggling. The last few miles had been quite nerve racking, especially for us aboard the Gamebird. However, the harbour did its job of sheltering our three small boats from the swell of the Forth. There were no other boats in the harbour and we could still see the Forth Bridges and Edinburgh in the distance.

  There was no sign of life or rotters on the island so we decided to send a few of us out to explore the island further and make sure it was abandoned still like our map had indicated.

  Becky, Amy, John, Lia and I set off as usual. There was an old gun emplacement just above the harbour which we had made our way up to. I guessed it must have been left over from World War two. When we got to the gun emplacement we could see an old fort to the west, so we went to explore that too. The fort too had long since been abandoned, but you were still able to climb to the top of it by means of an external steel staircase.

  From the top of the fort we were able to look across the whole island, the view was spectacular even in the fading light, but more importantly we had been able to see the highest point of the island on which sat a lighthouse. There was another gun emplacement next to the fort which looked up the river towards the Forth Bridges, that Island had certainly been well fortified at some point in its recent past.

  From the fort we made our way to the centre of the island and the lighthouse which we had seen from the fort. As we reached the top of the hill we were met by a number of old houses. The houses were in fairly bad condition, probably abandoned since the war, the same as the gun emplacements.

  The wooden roof frames were still in place along with the window frames, but the glass had long since gone. We went cautiously inside, only to find that they had long since been abandoned too and weren’t harbouring any stray rotters. The insides weren’t in too bad shape, with fire places still in tack. We left the houses behind and continued up the hill to the lighthouse.

  The lighthouse looked in good order; it had no doubt been automated in the eighties like most lighthouses across the United Kingdom. The good thing for us though was although they were automated, they were still routinely maintained and hence the good condition of the Inchkeith light house. The light house had long since stopped working; it no doubt ran off a generator which would have run out of fuel long ago. There was an inscription on the front of the light house which read:-

  “For the direction of mariners, and for the benefit of commerce, this light house was erected by order of the commissioners of the northern light houses. It was founded on the 18th day of May in the year 1803, and lighted on the 14th of September 1804. Thomas Smith, Engineer”.

  I guessed Thomas Smith never thought to add, “And for the refuge of survivors of the zombie apocalypse”. Maybe we’d add that bit for him later I’d thought.

  There was a large concreted area in front of the light house which we assumed used to be a helicopter pad. Maybe one day we’d recruit a pilot into our group I thought that would be better than pissing about in boats!

  There were what looked like service buildings next to the helicopter pad, they were in good shape and clearly had been maintained until recent times along with the light house.

  The light house had been well secured, but we were confident by then that the island was well and truly abandoned. We used a combination of crowbars and shot guns to get into it. We radioed back to the guys on the boats in advance so that they weren’t alarmed by the sound of shot gun fire.

  The noise that we made getting in would have certainly woken the dead, so to speak and any humans for the next hundred miles or so! So we were even more confident then that the light house and the rest of the island were definitely abandoned.

  The light house was like any other, a spiral staircase leading to a light room at the top. It all looked well maintained and as it was starting to get dark, the lights would have been lit if they were still operational.

  We couldn’t see a lot from the top of the light house that evening due to the fact it was getting dark outside. We struggled to find our way around in the dark. There was fairly large living quarters attached to the light house. I guessed at one time there would have been more than one light keeper by the size of the living quarters. There was probably enough room for three families. There were six good sized bedrooms; at least that was what we had assumed they had once been as the furniture had long since gone from them. However the living and kitchen areas had still been sparsely furnished no doubt for the engineers that came to maintain the light house so they had somewhere to take their breaks and stuff. There was a large bathroom with cold running water too.

  Chapter Fifty

  We radioed the guys on the boats to give them the all clear. There was wood and coal for
the many fire places and a few chairs and sofas in the living area as well a large dining table with more chairs, so we agreed it would be a good place to spend the night.

  Becky and I had gone back to the boats to collect the rest of the guys. It was pitch black by then, but fortunately we could see the light coming from our boats in the harbour so we at least had somewhere to aim for, I remember it being a good laugh trying to stumble our way back to the boats in the dark!

  Once back at the boats, we got the guys together and told them about what we had found and they all jumped at the chance to spend the night in the light house. We all gathered up what we’d need for the night, bedding, food, etc. We had a few torches that had been left on the Gamebird by its former residents, so we had been able to use them to help find our way back up the hill to the light house. By the time we had all got back, the other guys had a roaring fire going in the living area and the Aga was alight in the kitchen too.

  My family took one of the bedrooms, Lia’s family took one, Hayley and her family took the third one, John and Amy took one, Paul and Sophie took one and David and Anthony took the last one. Becky, Maddison, Sandier and Margaret took the living area, which to be honest, was the best place to be with the comfy sofas and the roaring fire!

  We dropped our gear off in our rooms and then all gradually gathered back in the living area. Margaret took charge of preparing an evening meal for all of us. On the menu that night was pasta bolognaise. Something we had plenty tins of. I wondered if an island as small as Inchkeith supported any kind of wildlife other than the obvious sea birds. I doubted whether we needed to consider wildlife conservation anymore as animals would soon reclaim many of their territories again. I also wondered what percentage of the human population had actually survived the outbreak.