His dad sat down next to his mom, and Gavin heard his dad grumbling something about Julie not being home where she should be.
“I told you she was the one that needed to be taking over for you a long time ago,” Gavin said to his dad.
“I know you did,” his dad replied roughly. “So did your mother. I just didn't want Julie to have to be tied down like that. She's going to want a family one day.”
“You didn't mind me being tied down though,” Gavin said, just as Josh and Gracie began carrying food out to the table.
“It wasn't that,” Gavin's dad said. “You're a man.”
“What does that mean?” Gracie asked, as she let a dish fall harder against the table than she should have.
“Nothing,” Gavin's dad answered. “I don't want to talk about it.”
“Good idea,” Josh said. “Gracie would have your ass for whatever it was you were about to say.”
“Start eating,” Lisa said before anyone else could talk. “Everything looks great, Gracie.”
Dinner was pretty quiet, and for that Gavin was relieved. He jumped up to help Lisa clear the table.
“I'll get it,” he said. “You sit and enjoy talking to my mom.”
When he grabbed her plate, she looked up at him with a smile.
“Thank you, Gavin,” she said. “That is so sweet of you.”
He shook his head and walked into the kitchen. Gracie walked out with a container in her hand just as he was walking in with the second stack of plates. He put them in the sink and walked back into the dining room.
“Cheesecake,” Lisa said more to herself than anyone else. “You haven't made this since the last time your brother came home.”
There was no time for anyone to feel sad about Jack before Gavin's dad spoke.
“Sure she has,” he said. “She brought one to the office when she delivered one of our business lunches. That wasn't long ago.”
Gavin saw a look pass across Lisa's face as she looked up at him before looking over at Gracie.
“Interesting,” Lisa said before taking her slice from Gracie.
As soon as everyone had a piece in front of them, Gracie told her parents she was leaving. When her mom asked if she wanted a piece, Gracie said she wasn't in the mood. Then she walked around and hugged the four parents and left without even looking in Gavin's direction. He sat long enough to eat his cheesecake before standing and making his own exit. When he leaned down and hugged Lisa, she pulled back and looked at him.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Great,” he said before backing up and leaving.
He pulled his car into the bar parking lot, walked in, looked around, and got back in his car. She wasn't there. He'd just seen her less than an hour before, and he was already missing her. He'd gotten used to dragging her out of that bar and taking her home. Their talks had been something he'd looked forward to each night.
Gavin parked in front of her apartment and looked up at her window, fighting every urge he had to see her. It wasn't right. Her parents would be pissed. Jack wouldn't approve. Gracie was better off without him. She was dealing with enough of her own stuff. There was no way she needed to add him and his baggage to the mix. She deserved so much better than him anyway. Gavin knew all of that, but it didn't make him want her any less. There was something about her he couldn't make himself walk away from. Everything about them being together was wrong, but his heart didn't care.
He got out of his car, walked halfway up the walk, then turned back around. That happened three times before he finally walked the rest of the way and knocked on her door. Just as he turned to walk away again, he heard the door open. He turned to see her standing in a pair of tiny, silky shorts. His eyes traveled up to see an equally tiny, silky top hugging her breasts and hanging from her shoulders by two thin, lacy straps. She didn't say a word as she stepped aside. His hand moved through his hair before his feet moved him forward through her door. He heard the door close and turned around. She was standing in front of him with the most innocent look on her face.
“Gavin,” she said, as she moved nervously from foot to foot.
When she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, he was lost. Gavin stepped forward, grabbed the back of her neck, and covered her mouth with his as his body slammed hers against the door. Gracie let out the sexiest moan, and he snapped.
Chapter 39
Gracie
Gracie hadn't expected Gavin to show up at her door, but she was pleasantly surprised. She wasn't sure what he wanted, but he was there. That meant something.
The moment he stepped through the doorway, she felt so much tension between them. She couldn't take the silence and whispered his name. Was he feeling the same things she was, she wondered? Then it happened. He erased the distance between them and kissed her with so much emotion. Her body went back against the door, and his was right there. There wasn't an inch of space between them. The moan escaped her before she could stop it. She wanted to melt into him.
Gavin's hand was wrapped in her hair, and he yanked her head back. His lips began kissing and sucking down her neck. She let her head rest against the door and let her body soak up each touch of his lips. It felt like nothing she'd felt before. He wasn't being sweet or soft at all. His kisses were aggressive and had purpose. Gracie didn't know what was going through his mind, and she didn't care. All she wanted was to have him deep inside of her again.
Gracie's hands dove into his hair as he began kissing her breast over her silky top. He moved up quickly and took her mouth again with his. Then he reached for the hem of her top and pulled it over her head. Her nipples tightened into stiff points as the material rubbed against them.
“Fuck,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “So fucking beautiful.”
His mouth moved to one nipple and sucked it between his teeth. Then he moved to the other, as his fingers caressed and rolled the one he'd just left. Gracie arched her back and was pushing into his hand and mouth.
“Gavin,” she moaned, as she tried to grab for his shirt.
He pulled back, grabbed the neck of his shirt, and pulled it quickly over his head. Then he stepped toward her and slammed her into the door. She could feel him beneath his jeans against her. Gavin reached behind her to lock her door. Her hands were already undoing the button and lowering the zipper of his pants. He slid his hand up her thigh, into the leg of her silky shorts. His foot moved hers and her legs spread a bit. Then he moved her panties aside and thrust his finger into her. Gracie cried out his name and shoved her hand beneath his boxers to find his already hard cock. She wrapped her hand around his shaft and began stroking him. He pulled away from her mouth and looked into her eyes as he moved his finger in and out of her faster. She was lost. His eyes were so dark and beautiful, and she knew she was the only one seeing the real him. Her bottom lip went between her teeth, and her head fell back. She tightened her grip and stroked him faster from his base to his tip. Then her finger swirled around the tip and collected the liquid that had already escaped him. She brought that finger to her mouth and licked around it before sucking it into her mouth.
“Fuck,” he growled from deep in his chest. “Gracie.”
He pulled his finger from inside of her. Then he pushed her shorts and they fell to the floor. Her hands pushed his jeans and boxers off as well. She let out a breath when his cock sprang free. Gracie wasn't sure she'd ever get used to seeing him. He was definitely more than she'd ever imagined. Gavin kicked his jeans off and reached for them, but he came back empty handed to her.
“Shit,” he snapped. “I didn't plan on...”
She grabbed his face in her hands and covered his mouth with hers. Then she wrapped her hand around him again and began where she'd left off.
“I'm on the pill,” she said. “I haven't been with anyone but you in a long time. I'm good.”
“I'm clean,” he said. “It's been a long time. You sure?”
Gracie pulled his lip between her teeth, loving the way it felt scraping against
him.
“Positive,” she said, as she tightened her grip on him down below.
Gavin grabbed her head and kissed her with more passion than she'd ever felt in a kiss. He fumbled for a second with her panties. Then she heard the rip and felt the cool air against her skin. His hands grabbed under her ass and lifted her. His mouth went to her chest and began licking and sucking one nipple.
“Gavin,” she moaned. “Please.”
Gracie felt him right there at her entrance. He lowered her slowly over him until she could feel them completely connected. She'd never felt so full before and let her head fall back. When she opened her eyes and lifted her head, she could see the smile on his face.
“Gavin,” she whispered.
“Yes,” he said.
“Fuck me right now!”
Gavin lifted her until he was barely against her. Then he dropped her and she cried out. Her hands went to his shoulders and she lifted herself up again. He held her tight against the door and began moving out and back into her. Their eyes were connected, and there was no way she was breaking that connection. Everything she was feeling for him was right there. She knew he could see it. Gracie's back slid up and down the door, and the cool feel of the metal made her shiver. Gavin held tight to her hips and began thrusting into her hard and deep. She cried out and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her fingers dug into his back. She loved the feel of his muscles and gripped him even tighter. Gavin covered her mouth and took control of her tongue with his. Then he pumped into her hard and reached that deep, perfect spot.
“Gavin,” Gracie cried out, as she felt herself tighten and pulse around him.
His grip on her hips tightened and he chased his own release. She felt jolt after jolt enter her as he came. Her head fell to his shoulder and her body relaxed against his. She could feel both of their hearts beating hard and the sweat on their skin mixing together. He carried her down the hall to her room and slowly let her fall onto her bed. When he sat down and leaned back against the headboard, she put her head on his chest and drew circles with her fingers on his stomach. The muscles clenched when she hit certain spots, and she knew she could watch it for hours. He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together, but he didn't speak.
“Gavin,” she whispered.
“What?” he asked softly.
“Will you stay?” she asked.
“I can't,” was all he said.
“The dreams?” she asked, as she looked up. Gavin nodded and leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Talk to me.”
“I can't,” he said.
“Please,” she begged.
“You don't get it,” he said. “It's not something I can tell you.”
Gracie thought for a moment about his words. Why didn't he want to open up to her, she wondered? She'd seen him before while he was dreaming. She'd even woken him up. Did he really not care about her? Is that why he wouldn't tell her? Then she thought about his scars and tattoos. It was Jack. That was it.
“It's about him,” she said, and he nodded with his eyes still closed. “Talk to me. I want to know. The dream isn't just the accident. There's something else.”
Gracie felt Gavin's body stiffen beneath her fingers. She got up on her knees and sat back on her ankles. With her hands still on him, she leaned forward and kissed his chest.
“Please tell me,” she said.
“I see the whole thing, Gracie. I see it over and over and over again. I can hear the screams. Then I see myself. I can't move, but I can see him. He's right there, but I can't fucking get to him. His eyes are open. There is blood everywhere. I can see his eyes. He's looking right at me, but I can't save him. No matter how hard I try to move, I can't get to him.”
Gavin's eyes were still closed. Gracie's tears were pouring down her cheeks, but so were his. She could see his shoulders begin to shake. Gracie had thought about the accident so many times. She'd cried constantly. Seeing Gavin break in front of her hurt more than anything she'd ever felt for herself. She leaned forward and kissed each of his cheeks. Then she reached up and wiped them both free of tears.
“You were hurt too,” she whispered. “There was nothing you could do.”
Gavin shook his head but kept his eyes sealed tight.
“It doesn't matter,” he said.
“It does,” she said, as she held both of his cheeks in her hands. “Open your eyes. Look at me.”
“I miss him so much,” Gavin said.
“I miss him too,” she said. “I'm begging you to look at me.”
How could his family not know, she wondered? His dad was giving him crap about work. Nobody could see that he was hurting. How could they not see it?
“You deserve better,” he said, as he finally opened his eyes for her to see so much hurt filling them. “You deserve more than a broken man that can't erase the shit in his head. You deserve a man that won't run from you. You deserve a man who knows where he is in life, someone like Ethan. You deserve a man that isn't the cause of all of your hurt.”
“How about you let me decide what I deserve,” she said, as she felt for the broken man in front of her.
How could he think she deserved someone other than him, she thought? He was an amazing man who'd been through some crazy stuff. He'd done it all to help people. That was what he'd wanted when he left. There was nothing wrong with him. He needed to see it too.
“I can't keep doing this,” he said. “I need to leave you alone. I didn't plan to come here.”
“Stay,” she said.
“I need to be alone,” he replied.
“No,” she said.
“When I wake up like that, it messes with my head, Gracie,” he said. “It's too damn real.”
“I'll be here,” she said. “Just for tonight. Just stay tonight.”
Gracie leaned forward and took his lips with hers. Then she moved down his chest and abs before wrapping her mouth around him and taking him deep into her throat.
After an amazing lovemaking marathon, they fell asleep in a tangled mess. Gracie knew he was just as exhausted as she was. They'd both had so much to deal with, and she hoped he could shut his mind down long enough to rest. It didn't happen. A few hours later, she felt his body tense. Then he began to sweat. Gracie rubbed his back softly and whispered his name.
“It's okay, Gavin. I'm right here.”
She said it over and over as he began to shake. Gracie kissed his head and told him everything was okay. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. The entire time she kept telling him she was there and he was okay. When his eyes opened and his hold on her tightened, she smiled and kissed his cheek.
“You're okay,” she said. “I'm right here.”
Gracie couldn't help but feel a little hopeful that together they could get through it. He hadn't been screaming Jack's name like he had the first time she'd been there. Maybe that was a good sign, she tried to tell herself, as she rubbed his back and held onto him. She watched him without a word as his eyes closed again. He hadn't tried to run. She watched as the beautiful, broken, strong man that had been there every night for her drifted off to sleep. Gracie knew it didn't matter how many times he woke the same way, she'd be right there telling him he was going to get through it. It was true. She knew he would, and she was going to do whatever it took to make sure he did.
Chapter 40
Gavin
Gavin slept better than he had in months that night. He'd broken down in front of her, and he couldn't believe that he'd let it happen. She didn't judge him or look at him like he was crazy. Instead she sat right there and held him. She'd never know how much that meant to him. As much as he told himself that he needed to stay away from her and let her move on with her life, he couldn't do it. There was something about her he couldn't walk away from. She felt it too, he knew she did.
The two months that followed were intense. Gavin fought his feelings for her, but it never worked. If he didn't break down and show up at her door, she was knocking on his
. It wasn't just sexual either. The sex was great, but it was so much more. She hadn't gone back to the bar, and neither had he. They'd end up on the couch watching whatever game was on or a movie. She'd cook for him, or he'd pick something up. They talked about Jack, her work, his work, the school he was attending, and anything else that came up. More nights than not, they ended up in a tangled mess of limbs. Every night, they fell asleep in each other's arms. His nightmares were coming less and less. They still messed with his head, but he was getting better at dealing with them. Gracie was right there every single time. He couldn't believe it. He'd expected her to give up on him, but she hadn't. As much as he couldn't understand what she saw in him that kept her there, he was so happy that she was.
Gavin added a few more covers to his scars. He had a lot left, but he was beginning to feel a bit better about himself when he looked in the mirror. Gracie had even gotten a tattoo. He'd taken her. She used the drawing he'd made of Jack's tags for his tattoo, and she loved it. They went for so many rides together for hours at a time. He could see things changing in her. She was smiling more and more each day. Even the guys at the station were benefiting from her being around. She was as bad as her mom with bringing them things she'd made.
Gavin had quit working with his dad and took a ton of shit over it. He needed money, that was what his dad told him anyway. Being at the station meant more to him than the money. The guys had even gotten him hired to do things around the station until he was done with school. He tried to tell his dad that it was working toward his future, but he knew his dad wasn't buying it. Gavin didn't care. He was doing it for him. Being around the guys helped him, and that was where Jack would have been. The only thing that pissed him off was seeing the newer guys flirt with Gracie when she showed up. It didn't take long for Gavin to let them know she wasn't to be messed with. That only made Jack's friends give him shit for liking her. They left her be, that was what mattered.
Gavin and Gracie attended Sunday dinners each week and sat across the table as if they hadn't rolled out of bed together earlier that day. Neither of them had brought up family or commitment or anything that would bring attention to what was going on between them. Gavin knew she'd eventually decide that she needed more out of life. She'd want someone her parents would approve of. She'd want family and a life with a man that could give her everything she deserved. He wasn't that man, and as much as he told himself that was okay, it wasn't.
Saved by Love (Bachelor Billionaire Kids #1) Page 18