Balance of Forces

by Ali Vali

  “Does that make me crazy about you?”

  “Here, before you embarrass yourself with any more corny lines.”

  Kendal accepted the box and ripped through the wrapping as soon as Piper let go. It was a box of the cigars she liked. “Thank you, Piper, I don’t know what to say.” She held her hand out awkwardly, as if not knowing what kind of thank-you gesture she’d accept.

  “You’re welcome. I hope they’re the right kind.”

  “Best smokes on the planet.” Kendal put the box down on the nightstand and reached for the jacket lying on the bed. “Are you ready?”

  Thinking Kendal meant breakfast, Piper said, “I can’t stay. It’s Sunday, but I have a meeting this morning.”

  “How about giving me a ride into the city, then, since I do as well.”

  Kendal’s request made her smile return.

  When they stepped out into the hall together, she admired the painting of the two people again before looking back at Kendal. “Want to tell me another story?”

  “Miss Marmande, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to Lola St. Louis. It was Lola’s family recipe you enjoyed yesterday. Her pecan cakes, as they were known back then, were the envy of the Territory.” Kendal glanced at her and quickly added, “Or so I’ve read. Lola and her son were slaves here, and she ran the kitchens and household staff for Jacques.”

  “She sure dressed nice for a chef.”

  “Lola, like all the other slaves who worked this land while Jacques was in residence, was given her freedom and safe passage to England. This lovely woman spent the remainder of her life as the mistress of Farthington, Jacques’s English estate. In her later years when she couldn’t stand for long periods of time, she rather enjoyed having others cook for her. The man standing behind her was her only son, Joseph.”

  The thought of such a happy ending made Piper feel good. “What’s the book in her hand?”

  “That’s the St. Louis family tree that chronicles Lola’s branch of the family. Joseph, with a little guidance from his mother, went on to marry and have twelve children. All of them became successful, and the foundation Lola gave them all has remained firm, since one of her descendants is a current member of Parliament. One of her greatest accomplishments, though, and the thing she was most proud of aside from her family, was being able to record their history and pass it on to her grandchildren. Slaves in general were prohibited from learning to read and write, but like a great many other things, that wasn’t the norm here.” Kendal raised her hand and rested her fingers on the book in the painting. “Amazingly, Lola died at Farthington a week before her one hundred and sixth birthday, and her original book still exists, along with all the volumes that came after. Family lore says Jacques was quite touched when he saw his name written in Lola’s hand along the roots of the first family tree in the book you see here.”

  “You know what I wish I could do?” Piper asked, staring up at Lola’s face.

  “What?”

  “Go back in time and spend the afternoon with Jacques St. Louis.”

  “An afternoon well spent if he had any brains at all.” Kendal offered her arm and escorted her down the stairs.

  *

  The drive was slow. Kendal noticed they were going ten miles under the speed limit, as if Piper was trying to stretch out their time together.

  “Where can I drop you?”

  “I’m sure you’d like it to be off a cliff, but the Royal Sonesta is fine. I’m meeting someone for breakfast at Begue’s. If that’s out of your way, let me off on Canal and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

  “Really? That’s where I’m headed, so it’s no problem. Small world, huh?”

  “You can fit it in a thimble at times.” Kendal got out and waited for Piper to take her slip from the valet attendant. “I’ll leave you to meet your party. Thank you for the ride.”

  “May I call you later?” Piper asked, reaching for her hand. “You can tell me more about Oakgrove’s history.”

  “With all that’s going on, I’d think you’d want to concentrate on the living and the here and now.” She held Piper’s hand for a moment before releasing it and turning away.

  “Do you find something about me unforgivable? I’m trying to make amends for my mistakes, and I’d like to get to know you better.”

  “Why? You have plenty of friends, I’m sure. I can tell you all my stories if you want, but you’ll never feel differently about me, so it’s best if we part on the best terms we’ll ever hope to achieve.” For the first time since they’d met, she sounded immature and childish, but she had to pull back before Piper’s allure sucked her in.

  “Do you judge all women by whether they’ll sleep with you?”

  She lifted her hand and rubbed her chin. “No, I don’t, but why do you want to get to know me? What do you think you’ll gain?”

  “A friend.”

  The image of thrusting her sword into Angelina’s chest played out in Kendal’s head, and she took a deep breath to still her emotions. Henri would use everything in his power to manipulate her, especially people she cared about. They were all her weaknesses, and no amount of training would ever teach her to develop a defense. Her love for Morgaine had helped Henri escape before, and if she were in the same situation she wouldn’t change the outcome or question her choices that night. To protect and sacrifice for those people she held in her heart defined her humanity, so she refused to put Piper in harm’s way, even if she had to hurt her now.

  “Piper, I can’t—”

  Piper put up her hand to stop her. “Never mind, my mistake.” The abandoned child seemed to come out in force, and Piper immediately put up all her defenses.

  “Please, Piper, let me explain.”

  “You don’t want anything to do with me. What’s to explain?”

  Kendal grasped Piper’s arm to keep her from walking away. “It isn’t you, little one, it isn’t you at all.”

  Piper’s laugh sounded harsh. “That tired line is beneath you. Go back to your life, Ms. Richoux, and don’t worry about having to placate me.” Piper broke her hold and walked away. “It’s your loss.”

  “Hello, Pops.” Piper plastered on a smile and kissed Mac’s cheek as Kendal watched from the door.

  “Are you done celebrating?”

  “Yes, we have a lot to do now that we have access to the land next to ours. I’ve set a meeting with senior management for this afternoon to start reviewing our timeline.”

  “Someone’s already done that, sweet pea. It’s not set in stone, but a messenger delivered the preliminary surveys to reconfigure our setup to the office this morning. Our operations crew is reviewing them now, but they seem to be in order and have a good workable timeline.” Mac lifted his orange juice glass and took a sip, finally noticing Kendal.

  “Here’s that someone now,” Mac said.

  “Stood up, were you?” Piper asked Kendal with a little heat.

  “No, you’re both right on time.” She shook hands with Mac and took the seat next to Piper’s. “Did you get the paperwork I had sent over this morning?” she asked Mac.

  “Our staff’s in complete agreement so far, but that’s not why I invited you to join us. Even though Piper says you won’t take credit, I wanted to properly thank you for your help. After our initial meeting, I sure never foresaw this turn in the road, but Piper and I are grateful to you for saving us. Aren’t we, Piper?”

  “You sent the outline?” Piper asked, and she nodded. “Thank you for the loan, but we’re perfectly capable of handling our own affairs from here on out. Also, we plan to pay you back every cent with interest.”

  “Piper, apologize right now,” Mac said, appearing mortified.

  “Please, Mr. Marmande, Piper’s entitled to her opinion. I did help you, but I truly don’t expect anything in return. It was the right thing to do since you didn’t deserve to have someone like Kenny take away something that means so much to both of you.” Kendal reached into her breast pocket and pulled out a
business card. “We’ve finished our business, but I thought I’d do one more thing before I go. It’s up to you as to whether you take the offer.”

  “Who is this?” Mac asked, looking at the card.

  “He’s in charge of naval contracts and wants to talk to you about some Coast Guard cutters being bid out. The contract will prove you’re capable of handling big construction projects, and with your reputation for fairness and honesty, it’ll open avenues for potential future business.” She took the napkin from her lap and placed it on the empty plate. She’d done everything possible to help them and could walk away with a clear conscience. “You have the inside track on this one, but if you need anything else or have any problems, please contact my New York offices. I left instructions to give you any assistance you require.”

  “Please stay for breakfast. The least I can do is buy you some eggs.”

  “That’s not necessary, sir. Good luck to you, and hopefully some time in the future we’ll have the opportunity to sit and talk again.” She took his hand and returned the firm handshake. “Miss Marmande, it was nice seeing you again. Please take care of yourself.” She held her hand out, but Piper ignored it.

  It would’ve hurt less if Piper had slapped her. It seemed ludicrous to Kendal that she cared, but by ignoring her, Piper had wiped away any good will they’d built between them. Parting like this was for the best because it would be easier to wipe Piper from her mind before she entered any fight.

  She let her hand drop back to her side and sighed. “I’m sorry, Piper. I wish things had been different,” she said before leaving.

  Kendal looked at her one last time, and Piper suddenly seemed to understand the finality of the farewell. It was fine if Piper wanted to believe that her last tantrum had ended any relationship they’d ever have, as long as she was safe.

  Piper watched her go and was certain that Kendal’s last glance meant she’d respect her wishes and disappear from her life permanently. Despite every insult she’d thrown at Kendal, and the anger she’d displayed, Kendal had helped and defended her. Piper forgot how to act in Kendal’s presence because she couldn’t control her emotions, but Kendal had, except for a few frustrated moments, remained steadfastly civil.

  Kendal had displayed the patience of someone who cared, and she’d stupidly thrown it away. As soon as Kendal disappeared, an overwhelming sense of fear and loss grabbed her by the throat, making her stand up. If she didn’t act, she’d never see Kendal again.

  Running out to the lobby, Piper was sure she could catch Kendal before she left, but the only people standing around were a few tourists looking at street maps as if planning their sightseeing day. She ran out the front door and looked down the street in both directions, but Kendal was gone. It isn’t fair, her mind screamed. They might’ve started off as combatants, but something was there now that she’d never be able to define without more time. She was sure Kendal felt the same way, yet she’d walked away like everyone else had. But Piper couldn’t dredge up enough anger to blame her. This time she’d lost something precious and important to her happiness, and it was all her fault.

  “You treated her like dirt, so you can’t blame her for leaving,” Piper said out loud, wiping away her tears. She wanted to sit on the sidewalk and give in to the despair suddenly building in her chest.

  “Don’t cry, little one,” Kendal said gently from behind her, putting her arms around her, and the kindness made her cry harder. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry, and even if I can’t explain my reasons, I was doing the right thing to keep you safe. It’s nothing you’ve done, please believe that.”

  She turned around, pressed her face into Kendal’s chest, and clung to her with her eyes closed. “Please don’t leave me,” she said in a shaky voice. She took a breath after she composed herself and gazed up at Kendal, looking at her as if this was the first time she’d truly seen her. Kendal locked eyes with her for the longest time but stayed quiet, as if making a decision about what would happen next.

  Kendal hadn’t imagined that Piper would run out of the restaurant frantically searching for her. She had fully intended to finish with Henri and disappear somewhere Piper would never find her, no matter how many people like Hill were on her payroll. But she couldn’t walk away from the raw hurt that seemed to pour out of Piper.

  Piper might not have been able to define her feelings, but what Kendal had feared most had come to pass. She looked into Piper’s eyes and lost her heart again, but it was wrong to be so selfish. To care for someone she couldn’t have a future with would cause years of frustration because Piper would never return her affections, but Kendal was willing to share this lifetime with her. After she killed Henri she’d give Piper whatever she needed to heal her heart, and it’d be enough. It would have to be.

  “I’ll never leave you, little one, don’t worry.” With a soft touch she wiped away the last of Piper’s tears. “I’ll always be here to look after you.” She spoke the sentences, praying to any god that would listen that she could keep her word.

  *

  “You promise you won’t leave if I go in?” Piper asked, not letting go of Kendal’s hand.

  “I’ll wait right here, I promise.”

  “I’ll just be a second. I want to tell Granddad good-bye first so he won’t worry.”

  Kendal stepped back and pointed to her feet. “Right here, word of honor,” she said again, putting her hands in her pockets. Piper walked inside, glancing back every few steps as if to make sure she wouldn’t wander. “If I had any sense I’d run as fast as I could to get the hell out of here. You’d think eventually you’d learn from your mistakes, Asra,” she mumbled, glimpsing Mac and Piper’s embrace before she looked skyward.

  “I’m sorry, did you say something?” the doorman asked.

  “Just talking to myself,” she said, feeling Piper’s hand come to rest in the crook of her arm.

  “Now there’s a sure sign of mental illness, Richoux. You should see someone about that.” Piper smiled as she handed over her valet ticket. “Can we go back to your place?”

  “I never said it was my place.”

  “And you never said it wasn’t,” Piper said, tugging her toward the car as soon as it arrived. The valet accepted a tip from Kendal, who pointed him toward Piper’s door. “Drive on, Miss Marmande. The day is yours.”

  “Just the day?” Piper asked.

  “I’d give you my nights, but I can’t—not yet.”

  Piper looked at her before putting the car in gear. “You’re not willing to persuade me to share, your nights, I mean?” Piper cocked her head into Kendal’s hand when she pressed it to her cheek, as if suddenly wanting to explore something new.

  “I’m sure you’re more than capable of heading down that yellow brick road all by yourself, Dorothy.” Kendal pinched Piper’s cheek.

  “You saw me in Oz?”

  “And your little dog too.”

  Piper laughed. “I’m sure Hill will appreciate that. Why didn’t you acknowledge me?”

  “I could ask the same thing of you.”

  Piper concentrated on driving as if fishing for an answer, because the only thing that popped into her mind was that she’d been jealous when Kendal had kissed that woman. She couldn’t admit that without admitting to a whole lot more when it came to Kendal and what she wanted. “I wasn’t there because I thought you’d be.” Piper slapped Kendal’s arm when she put her hand over her heart, as if wounded. “It’s really the last place I thought I’d find you. I was just broadening my horizons, then you swoop in and lock lips with the bartender.”

  “Hey, you were there with a date.”

  “In Hill’s twisted little brain maybe. I wanted to see women who prefer the company of other women. I was trying to understand the attraction.”

  “And do you, understand now?”

  “I understand that I didn’t find anyone in there remotely interesting,” Piper said, pausing to run her tongue over her bottom lip, “and I understand I didn’t
much care for that woman kissing you.” So much for her not admitting that, and making her sound like a wounded lover.

  “Why, Piper Marmande, you sound jealous.”

  Piper shrugged. “Maybe I was.”

  “You don’t need to feel that way. She’s just an old friend, nothing more.” She moved her hand to Piper’s knee. “Get us back to Oakgrove and I’ll make it up to you.”

  Now that Piper knew she would get her for the day, the drive to the plantation seemed shorter than ever. “This really is a beautiful place,” Piper said as they turned into the drive.

  “Do you have something more comfortable to change into? I’ll give you a tour.”

  Piper followed her inside, carrying her gym bag, to one of the guest rooms with a beautiful four-poster bed. Kendal closed the door for her and waited twenty minutes before entering to total silence.

  “You want to take a nap?” she asked when she found Piper on the bed with her eyes closed.

  Piper raised her head at the question and grimaced. “No, I want my tour.”

  “Something wrong with your neck?”

  “I slept in the wrong position, I guess.” She got up and walked to the door, dressed in jeans and hiking boots.

  “Turn around for me.”

  “Why? I said I’m all right.”

  She put her hands on the sides of Piper’s neck. “No sense hurting when you don’t have to.” She twisted first to the right and then just to the left, feeling the bones go back into alignment, but it was hard to hear the slight crack over Piper’s scream.

  Piper turned around, appearing ready to yell at her when she moved her head around and dropped her poking finger. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Miss Marmande.” She held out her hand to Piper. “Shall we?”

  Piper stared at it for a beat, then took it with such a strong grip Kendal thought she’d either made a life-altering decision or bet herself she’d accept whatever was within her boundaries in an effort not to be rude. Considering it was Piper, she could never be totally sure.