by Mia Ford
“It’s been my personal opinion and experience that men say those three words too quickly. They rarely mean it. They only say it because they feel obligated. I don’t want you to do that, especially if you don’t feel it deep down. It’s not fair for you to say something that you don’t feel. Take my advice and you’ll know when it’s right.” He was nodding his head like I was saying something that made sense.
“I just don’t want to lose her because I wasn’t upfront with my intentions. The one thing that I don’t want is to be is alone.” He was finding that committing to one woman was making him break out in hives. I could see him scratching his neck every so often and those three words were really weighing heavily on his mind.
“Anything that is worth doing is worth doing the right way. It takes a lot of hard work and compromises to make a relationship stand up to the test of time. I don’t think that I’m telling you anything that you don’t already know. Women wear their emotions on their sleeve and men seem to shelter themselves from showing any kind of feelings whatsoever. It makes for a different kind of dance. Don’t do anything too rash and risk chasing her away. Besides, you never know and maybe she’s not the one for you.” With that in mind, I bent over and I could see that he was taking notice of the swell of my breasts right in his face.
“I hope that you didn’t feel that I was putting you on the spot by agreeing to her suggestion about the both of you having dinner together. I would never want to put you in a position that you didn’t feel comfortable. I’ve learned that…Oh, Jesus…the hard way.” He stumbled over his words and I could see that bead of sweat trickling down the edge of his nose. It was obvious that I was getting to him and I was surprised that he was able to keep his hands off of me. How could I let him leave and disappear without a trace? He was the only one that knew me at all. I couldn’t watch him leave and not do something about it.
I didn’t want to shed a tear over a relationship that had never amounted to anything more than flirting. I wanted him to take a look at me and not see the empty space of my heart looking back at him. The memory of his face every night haunted me and mocked me into thinking that I had done the wrong thing by pushing him away. I had to find a way to make him turn around in my direction. I had so much that I needed to say to him that it was hard to sit here and do nothing about the heat between us.
“It’s a good idea for me to have dinner with Julia. I can be your eyes and ears. Not many men get the opportunity have a member of the opposite sex play defense. I can learn how she truly feels by getting her to loosen her lips over a bottle of wine that I’m going to bring with me for the occasion.” I could see that the tent in his pants had not gone down from the moment that I had arrived at the office. I was sure that it had something to do with her servicing him, but that would not explain the fact that he was still sporting something that would scare little old ladies on a bus.
“I never thought of it that way. Having a best friend that is of the opposite sex has its advantages.” The sun had dipped below the horizon and the glow of the different colors gave the office this romantic atmosphere that was hard to deny
“Just call me your secret weapon. I want you to find the one that is going to make you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. If she does that for you, then I think that it would be in your best interest to use me. Some girls are only after one thing and I’m not talking about what is in between your legs. Some girls like to find a man that is going to help them live without the necessity of working a day in their lives. I don’t see that from Julia. I am worried that she might be equating you with her father. That’s not very healthy.” This little bug in his ear would cause him to wonder and that was exactly what I was hoping for.
“I’m meeting my friend in about an hour and I really do need to go home and freshen up. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” That was a statement that was used when a bartender was closing up at that 2:00 AM hour. “I’m not lying when I say that I would love to be a fly on the wall. You are going to be my Cyrano. I feel good about this. I hope that you don’t feel that I’m putting too much pressure on you.” I was bent over with that dress riding up and showing the plumpness of my two round peaches in a thong.
I could hear him gasp and I had no choice but to smile at his discomfort. I was really making it hard on him metaphorical and figuratively speaking. He couldn’t hide the uniform of his arousal. The outline was quite something. I wanted to see it. I was hungry to see it and to show it the kind of appreciation that it deserved.
“I don’t feel any pressure whatsoever. It will be my honor to gauge her and find out if marriage is something that she is even considering. I get this feeling that you haven’t talked about that subject or even kids for that matter. It might be good to know where she stands on certain subjects before you go any further. I’m guessing that the sex is good.” I turned and saw him looking away. It had me wondering if they had even gotten out of the gate.
“I don’t know if we should be talking about my love life like this, but I need to talk to someone. We haven’t gone all the way. It’s not from lack of trying that’s for sure. She’s still worried that I’m that same little boy acting like a hormonal teenager. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she says that if I truly care for her that I will be happy to wait.” This was music to my ears. I thought that I was in a losing battle, but if they hadn’t even done anything other than some oral then I still had a chance to turn his head.
I pretended to stumble on my heels and I landed in his arms with his hands grabbing onto the first thing that he could to break my fall. Those hands were squeezing my melons. I tried to feign surprise, but he was doing very little to stop himself from touching me. I was sure that he could feel my nipples poking into his hand. Without a bra, I was putting it all out there.
“I’m usually not this clumsy. I’m glad that you were here, or that could’ve been disastrous.” I didn’t stop him from holding me like that. I liked the way that his palm brushed across my nipples and caused them to break out in tiny Goosebumps around the edges. “You are my hero.” His mouth was parted and I could see his eyes grow wide like saucers. He stared at my breasts where his hands were currently connected to
I was hoping that he was going to find himself powerless to my advances. I thought for a moment that he was going to trash this office by making a permanent imprint of my ass on his desk.
He shook his head and looked at his watch. That was when I knew that the spell had been broken. “Well…Um… I have to go.” I thought for sure that his pants were on fire. He rushed out of the office and practically tripped over his own 2 feet. “I’ll see you…in the morning and you can give me a blow by blow of what happened. I’ll be talking to her tonight. There’s no doubt that she’s going to tell me everything that was said. I’m going to count on you to give me the unbiased truth.” He slammed the door and I put my two hands on the desk to steady my nerves and prevent myself from rushing out and jumping him like a tiger after its prey.
I didn’t know how hard it was to be around him. The origin of my lust came from him putting the moves on me. I could still feel his hands on my breasts. I sat down in his chair, feeling the warmth of his body where he had just vacated. I basked in the heady scent of his cologne. It made me feel like I was becoming obsessed to the point of being unhealthy.
I put my feet up on his desk with my legs spread and my hand touching on the inside of my thighs. I could’ve easily done something to relieve that tension, but there was no time. I had to go home and find something casual. I couldn’t show up to dinner with Julia looking like this. It would’ve been like waving a red flag at a raging bull that was ready to charge. I needed to change her opinion about me so that there was no doubt that I was a confidant and not someone sniffing around her man.
I stood there at her door, carrying the bottle of wine and feeling ready to play this game. I was dressed to give her the idea that I was at home in a pair of jeans. They were on
e of my prize possessions. I really did look good in them. You could see me coming and going. I was wearing a bulky white sweater to tone down my obvious assets that were a bit more than she could even wish to have.
I wasn’t comfortable with this kind of deceit. I almost canceled, but I knew that this was my way to break them up from the inside. I didn’t feel good about it, but I would do practically anything to get my man. I never thought that I had this instinctual need to fight for what I wanted. I didn’t know until I was put into the position where I had to find out.
I looked around at the neighborhood and it had that suburban feel where kids were inevitable. I could tell a lot from where she lived. It was clear that she wanted that white picket fence with a man and the children to go along with that happy picture. Several kids played soccer in the street. I could smell the sweetness of the flowers blooming by her doorstep.
I knocked on the door with my heart in my throat. I thought for sure that I was going to chicken out and run at the last second. I heard her footsteps approaching and then the door opened to reveal that she was playing the same part that I was. She had let her hair down by putting it into pigtails to give off that innocent quality. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that she was only doing that to make me feel at home so that I would let my guard down.
“I was wondering when you were going to get here. Dinner is almost ready, but we have a few minutes before we sit down. I see that great minds think alike.” She showed me what she was talking about by moving her hand that was out of sight behind her back so that I could see that she was also holding a bottle of wine. “I know that I could use a drink. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back with a couple of glasses. I never did take into consideration that you might be allergic to something.” She was already moving and it was obvious that she wanted to get as much distance from me as she could to ready herself for the sparring match that was going to take place.
I went into the living room and her style was quite eclectic. There wasn’t really anything that went together. If I looked at it as a whole, there was some method to her madness. I sat down on a red couch.
I looked at the photos of her and her family. I saw that she was the youngest of all of them. They looked like a happy bunch and I felt sort of guilty for trying to undermine her relationship with August. It wasn’t going to stop me from grilling her mercilessly but in a very subtle way.
“I do hope that you enjoy chicken parmesan as much as I do. I put my own spin on it and there is a bit more spice to tickle the palate. I like to take normal everyday food and turn it into something extraordinary. I’ve always been under the adage that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” She passed me the glass of wine and I took a sip, even though I wanted to down the contents to numb my senses. “Let me get right to the point before dinner. I don’t trust you. I see the way that you look at him and it’s a lot more than admiration.” It appeared that she was going to be blunt. I was going to have to play this just right or risk her getting her ire up.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about. Just because I like the view doesn’t mean that I’m going to buy the land. You can’t possibly believe that he’s a one-woman kind of man. He has admitted to having the flaw of wanting to experience new things. I can’t be with a man like that, no matter if he does look like a GQ model right out of the magazine. Besides, do I really look like his type? I don’t mean to put myself down, but look at you and then look at me.” I once again gave her more to think about without coming out and saying that she was going to get her hair pulled out if she tried anything with August.
I thought that my heart was frozen, but when I heard him say my name it was enough to make me smile. He had this tendency to drive me wild by just being in the same room. I kinda missed the way that he flirted and tried to make me blush.
“I see what you’re saying. I’ve seen all the signals and I’m not sure that he can get away from his past. I’m trying hard to understand the man. It does break my heart to even think about him stepping out on me. I’ve tried to keep him at an arm’s length, but it’s difficult when the only thing that I can think about is putting him to the test in the bedroom to see if we are compatible.” I could see that she was using that sisterly bond to make me a confidant.
“I don’t mean to be a poison pill. I’m not suggesting that he doesn’t have some redeeming qualities. If you are putting off sleeping with him, then that might be best. We both know that once we go that far that there’s more than an emotional connection. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t say that I did want him. I fantasize about what it would be like to be with him, but I can’t take that risk. I’ve had my heart broken too many times to go down that road again.” I was purposely being truthful and giving her the idea that procrastinating was best until she was able to figure out if he was the kind of guy that could be trusted not to stray.
“I admire your candor and you could have told me that you were not even interested. I wouldn’t have believed you for a second, but saying it up front makes me feel better. I fantasize about that moment myself too many times to count. It has left me with sleepless nights and this desperate need to cling to him. I don’t want to be the kind of woman that will always wonder if his late nights are more than they are supposed to be. I don’t want to be waiting up for him and smell somebody’s perfume or see that lipstick on his collar.” She had all but convinced herself that he wasn’t the kind of man that was made for suburban life.
I’d just fed into her doubts about his character. I wasn’t putting him down, but I wasn’t putting him in a good light either. I gave her reason to take a step back.
“I know that some people think that life is too short, but we need to protect ourselves. There are too many men that say one thing and do another. They might mean well, but that wandering eye is something that has been ingrained into them. It could be the influence of their father or maybe lack of a parental figure. I really can’t say for sure. I think that you noticed that August keeps his personal life close to the vest.” I got the feeling that she thought that this was going to be her way of telling me to stop thinking about him at all. I had turned the tables and we were now talking like old friends.
“I would like to use you as a conduit between him and myself. I know that I’m asking you to spy on him for me. Being women, we have to stand by one another. I think that we can table this conversation until after dinner. I have been slaving over the stove for the past couple of hours and I would really like to hear your opinion of my creation.” She had on a long blue shirt that covered her jeans almost down to the knees.
I followed her despite my misgivings until I was sitting down and waiting for her to fuel my appetite. She put the food in front of me and the aroma hit me like a ton of bricks. She really did like to play with spices. I was afraid that I was going to burn the roof of my mouth off. I took one bite and it had subtle overtones of heat, but not enough to make me go running for the water.
“I would say that if medical school didn’t work out that you have a real gift for cooking. I don’t see any reason why culinary school has to be out of the question. The Cordon Bleu is an accredited school and one that you could learn a lot from.” I really did mean what I was saying, but on the other hand, it seemed like I was pushing her in a different direction. “Are you sure that medicine is your true calling? You don’t just dabble in the kitchen; you create masterpieces with your bare hands. This is something that you should share with the rest of the world. I see the way that you smile at my comments and you love the praise for your food.” This was a good way to lead her by the hand into another vocation.
“All of my brothers are doctors and I thought that it was my purpose in life to follow in their footsteps. My mother is a Physician and my father is a professor of medical studies. To be honest, I never really did think that I had what it took to be a doctor. I only did it to appease them. I do love cooking, but I never thought that I could make it my career. Do you re
ally think that I have the talent to make it my life?” There was no point in lying to her. I was sure that she was waiting for someone to tell her that it was okay to live for herself and not for her family.
“You’ve thought about this before. You can’t sit there and tell me that I’m the only one that has raved about your food. Anybody that sits down to something that you make with your love of cooking would have to tell you. Doesn’t August find your food to die for?” I waited for her response, but it didn’t stop me from eating everything on my plate and having this desperate need to lick it afterward.
“August is not exactly an unbiased audience. You have been a breath of fresh air. I don’t feel like I have to be something that I’m not around you. I think under other circumstances that we could’ve been fast friends. I’m just not sure that we can be friends with the both of us having eyes on the same man. I know that you would never do anything about your attraction and that does help me to sleep at night. You shouldn’t put yourself down. You say that you are not his type, but I think any man that finds himself close to you will feel differently. I don’t want to ever hear you make disparaging comments about your appearance. You deserve that man that is going to put you on a pedestal.” I thought for sure that I was going to hate her, but I found myself liking her despite the fact that she was with August.
“It’s not my place to say, but if you are truly thinking about changing direction in your life then maybe keeping things cool in the bedroom is a good idea. You must know that there’s no place that he wants to be than here. I’m not suggesting that you break it off with him and far from it. I’m just saying that it would be better to air on the side of caution.” I came over here precisely to sabotage any chance of them getting into the bedroom. She had all but done that for me.