by L. J. Voss
“Tricks, huh? Like super-secret mafia tricks,” I tease.
“Something like that,” he says through a smile. Then he adds, “Your dad has a lot of information on a lot of bad people. Knowledge is power. He made it known that if anything happens to him or anyone associated with him that those secrets will be made public and available to the US government. None of them want that, so you’ll be safe.”
“Oh, well, that’s good. So I guess you’ll be leaving now,” I surmise.
“I’m actually on my way to the airport. I just wanted to come by and let you know that the case was closed and that you’re going to be fine.”
Fine isn’t the word I would use to describe what I’m going to be. But his sentiment is right, I’ll live. I have June, Mabel, and Kelly. I might not have someone there at night or by my side, well, not a human someone. I’ll always have Mr. Darcy there. I look around and then focus back on him, “Well, thanks. Have a safe flight.”
“Take care, Imogen,” he says tenderly as he bends over and kisses my forehead. He turns and starts walking to the door and then suddenly whips around, “Oh, I almost forgot. This is from your dad. He can’t travel yet or he would have been down here. He wanted you to get this.”
I take the letter from his hands and gulp down my trepidation at reading the letter. “Bye, Calder.” My eyes are fixed on the letter in my hands but I hear him start for the door when I remember something I wanted to ask him. “Calder? Where’s Cleo? June told me Kelly had Mr. Darcy but she didn’t know anything about Cleo.”
He turns around and a slight blush creeps up his neck as he answers, “Here’s the thing.” Struggling with trying to find the wording he wants, he finally rushes, “I got attached to her and I couldn’t imagine letting her go. So I kept her. If that’s okay.”
And just like that, I fall even more in love with him. A huge smile breaks across my face, “That’s good. I think she liked you better anyway.”
He gives a nod and, looking me over a few times, says, “See you around, Imogen.” Then he is gone.
My eyes sting as they slowly fill with tears. I’m trying desperately to memorize his face and my name on his lips and commit to them to memory.
The doctor walks in and I hurriedly wipe my eyes. He asks how I’m feeling and then explains the medications he’s sending me home with. Everything is happening in a blur and I’m not paying attention to what he’s saying. Then he leaves and they prepare me for discharge.
I hurry and call Kelly and ask if she can come and pick me up. She agrees. I call June and, she takes some convincing, but she finally relents to letting Kelly pick me up since she hasn’t heard the whole story yet.
“Holy mother,” Kelly says in disbelief. We made it to my apartment from the hospital, and we’re lying on my bed. I just finished telling her the events of the last week. “I’m in shock. Complete and utter shock. You could have died! And Michael?! He was our best friend, Imm. We shared everything with him. And then they both just leave you?!” She lays back and shakes her head.
“Pretty much. But I’m just going to look at it that I was lucky enough to live a bad action movie and I got to make out with two gorgeous amazing guys. I mean, how many people do you know who can say that?” I ask her. “So the doctor said I’m not allowed to work for a week but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I’m planning on being back tomorrow.”
“Are you out of your freaking mind?” she screams at me. “There is no way in hell I’m allowing you into that kitchen until the week is up. And that is final!”
“Yes, mother,” I tease. Turning serious, I tell her, “Kel, thank you. Thanks for being here for me and just for everything. You’re my soul mate and I’ll love you for always.”
“Ahhh, I love you too.”
She stays for another hour and we munch on some chips and guacamole. I’m left alone in my bed when she leaves and Mr. Darcy curls up next to me. Five chick flicks later, I’m out for the count.
The next day is nice and relaxing. It’s nice to be able to lounge around watching movies and binging on Netflix. The police officers in charge of keeping an eye on me come by and introduce themselves. Joe is older, in his mid fifties. He’s married and his youngest just went off to college. Mack is younger and in his thirties and he just proposed to his girlfriend. Mr. Darcy is being needy and won’t leave my side. He’s probably scared I’ll disappear again.
Apparently one day of down time is enough because I’m about to go stir crazy. I feel like I’ve already watched every single movie I own. Given the doctor’s orders I can’t even pass the time with cleaning and organizing my apartment. Who I’m kidding I wouldn’t be doing that even if the doctor said I could. I keep the café and its kitchen cleaned and organized but everything else is a disheveled mess. What I really want to do is bake. Baking is my release. Some people like running, some people like yoga, I like cracking eggs and mixing flour. It helps clear my head and then if it doesn’t at least I get cupcakes in the end. That’s another way I deal with stress. I’m definitely an emotional eater. Kelly won’t let me so much as open the door to the café so going and baking down there is out of the question. I guess I’ll have to make do with my small little cramped kitchen up here.
I’m just stuffing a second cupcake in my mouth when Joe and Mack stop by. I wrap up the rest of the cupcakes and pawn them off on them. Baking hasn’t managed to clear my head and, given the whole emotional eating thing, it’s probably better that I don’t have two dozen cupcakes within arm’s reach. I tell them there will be more tomorrow and to come prepared.
After they leave I watch a couple more movies before I call June. She’s been calling every day to check on me. I told her she doesn’t need to stop by since Kelly has been checking on me every day before and after running the café. Nobody pries about the letter from my dad. They all know it’s sitting in my dresser and I haven’t opened it yet. It’s sitting there burning a hole in the drawer. I’ve pulled it out a couple times but I haven’t gotten the courage to read it.
The next couple days are a blur of baking, movies, and Netflix, anything to keep my mind off the letter and Rice and Calder. I’m priding myself on the fact that over the last few days I’ve managed to only think about them a couple hundred times. Thinking about them spurs another round of baking. Thank goodness for Joe and Mack, otherwise you’d have to roll me out of my door by the time this week is up.
It’s the night before I am cleared to go back to work that I finally get the courage to read the letter. The majority of the letter is him telling me how proud he is of who I have become and what I’ve accomplished. He apologizes for not being there while I was growing up, especially when my mom died. I’d never really thought about all that he missed out on. He never got to see me take my first steps or hear my first word. He missed dance recitals and soccer games. I always was curious as to he was. Do I look like him? Was he nice? I never had this aching yearning to figure out who he was though. I had everything I needed with my mom and then June and Mabel. I’ve had my whole life to get used to the idea that he wasn’t there. It was just a fact and not something I dwelled on. He’s only had a year to get over that disappointment. I can’t imagine the feeling of missing out on watching your child grow up. He doesn’t have any expectations and it’s up to me if I want a relationship with him. He wants to get to know me and be a part of my life but understands if that isn’t something I want.
I’ve read and reread the letter a dozen times and I still don’t know what I want to do. On the one hand I want to get to know my father and my half sister. But, in light of recent events, I don’t know if I want to get any more connected to that world. I talk to June about it. I don’t want her to feel like I don’t appreciate all she’s done for me and given me. I have never felt unwanted or unloved growing up. I’ve never really felt like I was missing anything. I don’t want her to feel like she hasn’t been enough. Of course sh
e tells me I’m crazy for even thinking about that. She just wants me to be happy and she’ll support whatever decision I make. Rice being so connected to them doesn’t help with my decision. I want to see him again but I don’t know if my heart can handle it. I know I need to make a decision but I think I’m going to bury my head in the sand for a little while longer.
Two Weeks Later
- Imogen -
This morning is busy at the café and I’m still a little stiff and sore, so I’m relieved when Kelly comes walking in. She comes over and starts helping customers so I can go and get some more pastries from the back. As I’m walking out of the kitchen with my arms full with pans of muffins and croissants, I’m frozen in shock at the person who just walked through the door.
Calder looks even better than in he does in my dreams. He’s in a pair of dark gray slacks and a white button up shirt. My eyes scan his body and my mind is trying to convince itself that this is real and not another dream. That first week back at the café I would catch myself watching the door waiting for him to walk in, but he never did, it wasn’t until my eyes closed at night that he would finally come through the door. His eyes catch mine and his mouth splits into a mischievous and happy grin. Luckily Kelly sees me frozen staring at him and she comes over and grabs the trays out of my arms. Calder stopped right inside of the door when I saw him, now he starts to walk towards me as he says, “Hey.”
I’m sure I look like a fish. My mouth is opening and closing as I try to find the right words to say. I finally manage to stutter, “How?”
“Can we sit and talk for a minute?” He motions me over to a table. I follow him over and once we sit down he answers, “There was an opening in the New Orleans office, a supervisor position. So I took it. I’ve been finding a place to live and moving my stuff down the last week.”
Confusion wrinkles my brow, “But wait, I thought you were going to D.C., to be in the thick of things. Out in the field, in the big leagues. That was your dream.”
“Dreams change. I think the fresh air up at the cabin helped clear my head. It also gave me some time to think. Plus it’s not just about me anymore. I have Cleo to think about. It wouldn’t be very nice of me to take her from a very spacious cabin near a river and her family to a cramped apartment in D.C. That’s if I could even find an apartment in D.C. that would allow ducks.”
“Are you a crazy person? Did you hit your head? Every conversation we’ve had you’ve talked about D.C. and how everything has been about the fastest way to get there. And then suddenly over night things just change? You can’t just change your entire life’s path because of a duck.”
“Cleo, she has a name and she isn’t just a duck, she’s my duck.” I smile when he throws my words back at me. He continues, “And like I told you, I started thinking about it at the cabin. I realized I missed it, being up there and out in nature. You know getting shot also has a way of putting things into perspective. This is where I want to be.” Not giving me time to argue he presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be seeing you.” And with that he walks away.
I have a dazed look on my face as I try to process everything that just happened. Making my way towards the kitchen I motion to Kelly that I am heading to my office. I need a minute after that conversation. I’m still in shock by Calder’s sudden appearance which is why I don’t see Rice leaning against the doorway of my office. Just like I watched and waited for Calder, I held out hope that first delivery that he would be the one making it. But the eighteen year old kid who came in dashed those hopes fast. The only time I’ve seen Rice has been in my fantasies. He straightens and heads towards me. My jaw drops and I look at him questioningly.
He stops in front of me, leans down and whispers in my ear sending shivers down my body, “Fate’s a fickle little thing, isn’t she?” I feel his hands place something in mine. Then he straightens and takes his hand and gently pushes my jaw closed. “See ya on Thursday, cupcake.”
He leaves me standing there and is almost out of the door when I hear him yell, “Oh and sweets?” I turn around and walk out of the kitchen towards him and he nods his head towards the door Calder just left and adds, “I’m always up for a good fight. But I should probably warn you, I don’t fight fair.” Then he gives me a cocky little grin and a wink and walks out the door.
I glance down at what’s in my hand and see the necklace my mom gave me. The one I thought I had lost forever. Kelly comes over and bumps me with her hip, “Girl, this is going to be fun.”
Acknowledgements
I have to start off by thanking all of my family and friends. The support and enthusiasm you have all shown me over the last year has been beyond anything I could have dreamed. Your questions and genuine interest in my writing have blown me away.
To my boys: Thank you. Thank you for being willing to share me with my computer. Thank you for supporting me through this crazy ride. I love our perfectly crazy life. I love you more than any words can comprehend.
To my parents: Thank you for always supporting my dreams unconditionally. You two have been some of my biggest and loudest cheerleaders and for that I will always be grateful. Thank you for letting me overtake your house during deadlines
To my in-laws: Thank you for taking me in and treating me as your own. You guys are amazing examples of how in-laws should be. Thank you for all of your help and understanding during this crazy time. Thank you for raising an amazing and considerate man.
Jenn and Christie, I love you. You guys mean the world to me. The crazy times we have are some of my fondest memories. I look up to you two and hope to be as amazing of a wife, mother, sister, and friend as you guys are.
To my friends that are too numerous to name, thank you. I’m humbled by the sheer force of your love and support of me. The enthusiasm and excitement you guys have shown for this book has overwhelmed me. I love each and every one of you.
Brenna, you have been there every step of the way during this writing process. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough to show how much your opinion and feedback has meant to me. You were always there talking me down from the ledge.
Felicia, this is probably going to get long. How can I even find words to tell you how much your friendship and guidance has meant to me? You have held my hand and given me the right pushes during this adventure. Your friendship is something I am going to cherish for the rest of my life. Love you, girlie!
Trish, I love knowing that I can ask you anything and you are always willing to help me out. I love you hard woman.
I’m so grateful for all the amazing people who have helped me on this journey. Sara Tharen, you are the best editor ever, seriously. Ashlee and Megan thank you so much for helping capture the perfect images for my cover. You two took what I was wanting and made it into something better than I could have imagined. Karen at Pampered Piglets, thank you for letting us use your land and pig for the cover shoot. Ginny and Raquel your feedback was monumental in helping get this book to where it is. So thank you! Jones I love you, all day every day. S. Moose you are and always will be one of my favorite people. You are so kind and caring. Rosie you are amazing. Everyday I’m grateful for our friendship. Jay and Jenn you girls crack me up, thanks for our friendship! Crystal, Brittainy, Alexis, Amber, Cori, Samantha, Silla, and Lisa thanks for being so willing to help out a noob like me. Between promoting, reading, and offering advice you all have been extremely kind. All of the blogs on my tour that have been so kind and supportive: The Got Books?, Got Books?, The Book Disciple, Those Naughty Girls Book Club, Jennifer Harper, Author Stalkers, Fictional Rendezvous Book Blog, One More Chapter, Fallen for Books, Adrienne Whitson, Renee Entress’s Blog, Between the Lines, In The Pages of a Good Book, Book Crazy Friends, Angela’s Book Desserts, Best Book Boyfriends, Whirlwindbooks, Bare Naked Words, Foxylutely Books!, MrsLeifs’s Two Fangs About It, girlygirlbookreviews, and Beneath The Covers, thank you! There are about a million more of you that would t
ake up to much space so just know that I am grateful for you and appreciate everything you have done for me.
About the author
L.J. Voss lives in beautiful Salt Lake City, UT with her husband, son, and dog. When she isn’t writing, she can be found be reading or spending time with her family and friends. She loves the outdoors, listening to music, being crafty, and anything related to Nutella.