Practice Makes Perfect

by Charlene Groome

  Chapter 18

  Jared settles into the spare room and unpacks his belongings in the empty dresser. He uses the bottom drawer for the gifts he bought and would give Jane gift cards to use for Beckham. It was easier for her to pick out what he needs rather than try to guess what his nephew is into.

  Jared didn’t sleep very well. He got up at four in the morning with Meghan on his mind. He grabbed his phone and saw that there was a message. He ran his hand through his hair. He must have been in a deep sleep to not hear his phone. He listened to her voice, wishing him Merry Christmas, and asking himself why he wasn’t with her over the holidays. Unable to go back to sleep for an hour, he got ready to leave, showering and double-checking his bag loaded mostly with gifts for his family.

  At five thirty, it was still too early to call Meghan. He thought about her on his way to the airport, on the four-and-a-half-hour flight, and even when he took a cab to his parents’ house. He wondered what she was up to and was disappointed that he didn’t see her before he left. Was she thinking of him, too? Was she mad at him for not showing up to the event? What more did he want from her? He thought about Meghan moving in with him one day and even pictured her as his wife. A crazy thought for having not been together quite two months, but he felt something with Meghan he had never experienced with anyone else before. The thought made his heart beat faster as he had never imagined the future with anyone; well, he did with Lauren because that’s all she talked about and he realized that he didn’t feel the same way. He doubted Lauren loved him the way his felt for Meghan. Lauren was a fake and, given time, her true colors would show.

  When he got back home to Vancouver, he would need to tell Meghan how he feels about her, then he could put this vision of the two of them together to rest. It was harder by the day, thinking of the possibilities of being with her and unsure where their relationship was going. Of all the women he’d been with, Meghan was the first one not to throw herself at him, which made it harder to judge what she wanted. She was the first woman that he wanted to be with at all times.

  “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes,” his mom says, standing at the doorway.

  It’s a good thing he’s hungry. He isn’t used to eating at five o’clock, but his parents eat early and go to bed early.

  “Great, I’m starved.”

  His mom smiles. “It’s good to have you home,” she says. “I miss you.”

  “Miss you, too, Mom.”

  He misses Meghan. He would be happier if she was here with him. Why didn’t he invite her?

  “Are you happy to be home?” she asks. Her shoulder-length hair is a whiter blond, blended with gray, her eyes the same color as Jared’s. She is shorter, though; he gets his height from his dad.

  “It’s good to see family. What’s the weather like today?” Jared asks.

  “Wet snow, rain . . .”

  She nods. “I invited your aunt and uncle for dinner. They should be here by now.”

  Jared closes his mouth and tries to grin. He isn’t in the mood to speak with them. They remind him of Luke. He knew he would see them while he was here, it was Christmas after all, but he didn’t prepare himself for talking about Luke. His aunt Debbie always brought Luke up like he was still alive and that always grabbed hold of his heart and squeezed it tight. He had to stop feeling this way, the pressure was too much. Something had to give. Is Luke holding him back? Does he feel guilty for not saving Luke’s life? Does he feel guilty because he was living Luke’s dream? If he had a choice between Luke or himself playing in the NHL, he would have given it to his cousin, not because he didn’t want to play; he would have given it up to make his cousin happy. He wanted the people he loved to be happy, but where did it leave him? He wasn’t as happy as he could be, yet he had everything he wanted, except someone to wake up to and he hoped it would be Meg.

  The doorbell rings. “That’s them!”

  Jared’s phone rings and he grabs it from the top of the dresser.

  “I’ll see you downstairs,” his mom says, and leaves.

  He picks up his phone to look at the call display. Warriors number. He’s not sure exactly who’s calling. Perhaps Ted Walker? But he had Ted’s number saved on his phone.

  “Hello?” he answers.

  “H-hi, Jared.”

  Excitement rings through his body. It’s a sense of relief knowing Meghan wants to talk to him. Does she miss him, too? He strengthens his smile and answers with a “Hey, Meg, how are you?” He can’t help the energy he feels.

  “Good.”

  “What are you up to?”

  “I’m at work.”

  “Right, three-hour time change,” he says.

  “Oh, sorry, to bother you,” she stammers. “What’s it like to be home?”

  “It’s okay. What’s the weather like there?”

  “The snow has turned to rain.”

  He chuckles. “That’s what I thought. It’s minus eight and snowing here.”

  Meghan lets out a brr, making Jared keep his smile.

  “I couldn’t get used to that,” she says.

  “I’m only here for a few days. Isn’t the office closed?”

  “I work a half-day tomorrow and then I’ll be back next week.”

  “What are you going to do with your time off?”

  “I’ve got dinner plans, visiting family. The usual O’Riley gatherings. I’m calling for a few reasons,” she says, changing her tone. “First, I wanted to tell you that I dropped off Jane’s leggings and your T-shirt, did you know? I spoke to Loretta.”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  “Apparently I just missed you.”

  Jared rubs the back of his head. “To tell you the truth, I can’t remember what I did that day.”

  “That’s okay. The other reason I’m calling is because I wanted to clear something up. . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “I know you and Lauren have something going on.” She pauses. “I just don’t understand . . .” Her voice softens. Is she crying?

  “Wait a minute, I’m not with Lauren. We’re not together.”

  “Then why did she tell me that she was expecting you home?”

  Jared throws his head back. “It’s not true.”

  “Why would she say that?”

  “Because she’s crazy. You know she is.”

  “It’s just that—” Her voice drops, leaving him hanging in mid-sentence. He can tell she is probably wondering if she should believe him. “She told me you two were getting married, so when’s that?”

  He breaks into hysterical laughter. “I’m telling you, Meg, there’s nothing between Lauren and me. She’s obsessive.”

  “I understand if there is. Honestly, I do.”

  “But we’re not—”

  “Tell me, did you bring Lauren with you?”

  “No! Lauren and I aren’t together. We will never be together.”

  “I see. . . .”

  “What’s wrong? You have to believe me.”

  “I do believe you.”

  “Then, what is it?”

  “I’m at work,” she says sadly. “I can’t get into it. What I really need to talk to you about is the black-tie event that’s happening in just over a week. I don’t care what events you don’t show up to, but this is the big one. The whole team is expected to be there unless there’s a crisis and knowing you, there very well could be.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You have every excuse not to show up when I need you.”

  “Is that what this is all about?”

  “I need you there, Jared. Okay? And if you don’t want to do it for me, do it for the sick children. That’s what the event is for. You probably don’t know that, but every event we do, it’s for charity. It’s helping those in need. And for you to not show up because you’re too important, well, I know what kind of guy you are.”

  Jared paces his room. Her demands were fair, yet he feels she’s being unreasonable. He’s never heard h
er speak to him like that. Does she really think he and Lauren are together? He tosses that idea out of his mind.

  “I’ll think about it,” he says, scratching his unshaven chin.

  “That’s not good enough. I need you there. I’m expecting you there.”

  “About Lauren—”

  “My other line is going. I gotta go. Say hi to Jane! Merry Christmas!”

  “Merry Christmas,” he says, but she already hung up. She hung up. He can’t believe it. Jared holds his phone in his hands, staring at it until he hears his mom’s voice calling his name.

  The tone of her voice is the same as when he was a boy and his mom would call him for dinner, except this isn’t the house he grew up in. This one he bought for his parents as a gift. A gift to say thanks for believing in him and letting him do what he was dreaming about. He winces at the thought. So many years ago, yet he still remembers his teenage years, living and breathing hockey. Happy times. There was no sorrow then, no broken hearts, just a lot of love for what he was doing with his life, it gave the people around him hope and security to see a young man succeed in their hometown.

  Jared walks down the stairs and into the living room where he is met with his aunt Debbie. She runs to him with open arms and squeezes him tight before he can even say hello. His uncle Lee shakes his hand as Debbie is slowly letting go of their embrace as his uncle throws his arm around Jared’s shoulders and pats him three times on the back before letting go.

  “Jared, you look great, just great,” Uncle Lee says with a mega grin. His leafy-brown hair sits thin on his head and his cheeks are red and round. “It’s some season you’ve had so far.”

  “It’s going well.”

  “I watched you the other night. Winning the game with a minute left.” Lee shakes his head. “That was a good game.”

  “Because we won?”

  “I can’t stand Vancouver, you know that, but I cheered for them because of you.” Lee slaps Jared on the shoulder.

  “Do you wear the jersey I sent you?” Jared asks.

  “Only when you’re playing. My buddies would kick my butt if I showed up wearing it.” He lets out a deep-throated laugh.

  “Dinner is ready,” Mom calls.

  “You guys still eat at five,” Lee says, walking into the kitchen.

  “That’s ’cause Dad gets up at six,” Jared says, following behind.

  “What do you do, that you have to get up at six?” Lee asks.

  “I read the paper, ride my bike.”

  “That’s right, you put a gym downstairs.”

  “How do you like the treadmill, Dad?” Jared asks, sitting down at the table. His parents had decided to buy cardio equipment for their downstairs and he wonders how often they use it.

  “Your mom uses it more than me.”

  “I walk!” she says, bringing the bowl of mashed potatoes to the table.

  “I prefer the bike and rowing machine,” Dad says.

  “I can see that you’ve been working out,” Debbie says.

  “You can?” Dad looks at his arms and then puts them down as if he forgot he is wearing a long-sleeve shirt.

  Mom rolls her eyes.

  “Can you pass the gravy?” Lee asks Debbie.

  “Mom, this looks great.”

  “I bet you can’t wait to come home to your mom’s cooking,” Debbie says, handing over the gravy boat to her husband.

  “It’s the only time I allow myself gravy and cheese sauce,” Jared says, putting a scoop of mashed potatoes on his plate. “And that’s in small doses.”

  “Would you like me to make macaroni and cheese for you?”

  “Your mom makes the best, doesn’t she?” Debbie says.

  “I have a game in five days, I have to stick to my diet or I’ll crave it more.”

  “They don’t let you have a long vacation, do they?” Debbie asks.

  “Five days isn’t so bad,” Lee says. “At least it’s time off.”

  “I can’t complain.”

  “You’ll be in play-offs before you know it,” Lee says.

  After dinner, they gather in the living room, Uncle Lee holding on to his short glass of ice cubes and a shot of whiskey. His aunt dangles a glass of wine in the air as she talks to her sister sitting beside her. The guys make small talk, mostly about hockey and where they both plan to vacation next.

  “Jane must be excited,” Debbie says. “Expecting again.”

  “Beckham is very excited,” Mom says. “He thinks he’s getting a brother. We’ve warned him that he could be getting a sister, but he doesn’t want to hear it.” Mom laughs. “He is so sure he’s getting a brother that he’s named him, Jake, after a cartoon he watches.”

  Jared smiles. “Will I see Beckham before Christmas dinner?”

  “Jane said she’d be over tomorrow with Becks. She has a doctor’s appointment. I’m watching him while she’s there.”

  Jared missed Beckham terribly. He loves that kid like his own. The thought of having his own children one day scares him. Could he love another child the way he loves Beckham? For some reason, Meghan flashes in his mind. Why was she so upset with him? He wishes he was closer and he would see her face-to-face and find out what’s bothering her. Maybe it’s Christmas. It’s a stressful time for some people. Maybe she’s having a bad day at work. He tells himself she is fine. There’s nothing he can do, two thousand miles away and talking on the phone isn’t the same as being with her in person.

  “Do you remember Corey Wells?” Lee asks Jared, erasing everything from his mind.

  He sucks in a breath. “What about him?” Jared asks.

  “He called us.”

  “What did he want?” Jared asks, suddenly annoyed. He knows Corey had contacted them once after Luke died to send his sympathy and the second time was to “check in” to see how they were doing.

  “He was asking how we were.” Lee stares into space. “Wishing us a Merry Christmas.”

  “He’s a nice guy,” Debbie says with a slight pout of her lip. “He says he keeps us in his thoughts all the time. Imagine that, a pro hockey player who we don’t know very well, contacts us to see how we’re doing. I didn’t expect that. He makes the time to call. You know,” Debbie says, and then pauses. “When you make time for someone, it really shows you care.”

  “Isn’t that right?” his mom says. “A phone call goes a long way.”

  “He said if he was closer he’d pay us a visit,” Debbie goes on. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

  “Do you think he had nothing to do with Luke’s death?” Jared asks.

  Debbie’s eyebrows raise, her mouth ajar. “It was an accident. A horrible accident.”

  “Corey should have done more. He could have done more. Why weren’t they wearing life jackets? Why did Luke stand in the boat when Corey could have simply handed over a drink? And Luke didn’t even drink soda. He was particular about what he put into his body.” Jared holds off telling them that Luke also smoked pot before the accident, but then, maybe it’s what Corey wants Jared to believe.

  “For years, I asked questions,” Debbie says, her eyes beginning to water. “I miss him.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jared says, slouching over in his father’s recliner. “I can’t stand Corey. I hear his name and I want to punch him.”

  “Accidents happen,” Lee says. “I hate to say that, especially about my son, but if we keep thinking that there was something someone could have done, it would kill us. It would.” He looks down at his drink.

  “I think, sometimes, it should have been me,” Jared says.

  “What?” His mom gasps, her face wrinkling.

  “Luke was the best hockey player I knew and he deserved to play in the NHL,” Jared says.

  “So do you, honey,” Debbie says calmly. Her eyes haven’t left Jared’s face.

  “Luke had charisma and everywhere he went, he met people and had a ton of friends. He was the life of the party. He should have been the one to live.”

  “You
’re a great hockey player,” Debbie says. “You wouldn’t be where you are if you weren’t. You put in a lot of hard work and it shows.”

  Jared hangs his head. “If I was on the boat instead of Corey, I would have swum to shore with Luke. I would have done whatever it took to save him.”

  “You don’t think Corey did his best?” Lee asks.

  “I don’t think he did enough,” Jared says.

  “You swam a long distance to get to Luke. You did all you could do,” Lee says. “The doctors told us, given his history of concussion, the hit to his head was enough to knock him out. It took several minutes before Corey could dive into the water and keep Luke afloat.”

  Jared shakes his head. “It shouldn’t have taken him that long to save someone’s life.”

  “You guys were eighteen years old. Still young. Your hormones are still out of sync and there’s no telling what you could or should have done. Corey feels bad and he has to live with those memories for the rest of his life, just like the rest of us. If we keep pressuring ourselves about Luke’s death, it will kill us all.”

  Jared takes in his uncle’s words. “You forgive Corey?”

  “There was nothing to blame him for,” Lee says. He takes a swig from his glass. The ice cubes clink around when he lowers the glass from his mouth.

  “It’s easier to blame someone for a mistake that was made,” Debbie says. “I just want Luke’s memory to stay alive. He’s with me every day and there’s not one day that goes by that I don’t think of him.” She wipes the corner of her eye with her knuckle. “The pain will always be there. I will never forget my son. I have to live my life in honor of him. Luke wouldn’t want me to be miserable. He was too thoughtful and caring. He wouldn’t want that from you, either. If Luke were alive, I’m sure he would tell you that it’s okay to be mad, but don’t let it take over your life. He would expect you to be happy. Life is for living.”

  Jared closes his eyes for a moment, picturing Luke telling him just that. All along he thought he was doing himself a favor and remembering Luke whenever he stepped on the ice. Thinking of him when the pressure was on and how Luke would handle situations. That wasn’t living. Jared has his own life to live and Meghan had made him feel like he finally had a new lease on life. She gave him a taste of what he had been missing and now it was what he craved. He wants her, wants a life he could be proud of outside of having the best career he could ask for. This was his time. He doesn’t get another chance at life. He needs Meghan and he wants her now. He can’t wait for his five-day vacation to be up so that he could see her. She has to know how much he wants her. Perhaps she would know by the gift he sent her that she meant a lot to him. He just hopes she would know how he feels.