by Kendra Riley
“Honestly, Tyra…”
All eyes cut to the matriarch to see her reaction to him using her name without a prefix.
“...it doesn’t matter what you think,” Russell continued. “Being more honest, I don’t care. You can hate me or think Nariah deserves better, which I don’t agree with, but I want her to decide if I’m the one who can give it to her.”
All eyes shifted to the center of the couch.
The sudden attention raised goosebumps on her skin. Her mind scrambled to add the new information into her decision-making process. Should she take him back or not?
“I, we already talked about this Russell, you know how I feel. We’ve been through this twice already.”
“Baby, I know,” he scooted to the edge of his seat, “you and Carson mean the world to me. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted. I have the chance to correct the mistakes my father made with me.”
“You can do that without us being together.”
Unable to take the distance between them any longer, Russell asked if he and Nariah could be alone. Surprisingly, the family obliged. He didn’t hesitate to fill the space her brother left. He pressed his hand against her cheek, shaking at her touch. Without a word going between them, his kissed her, holding it until he felt her relax. Pressing his forehead against hers, he whispered, “I’m not letting you go. You can hate me all you want as long as I have you in my life.”
“I don’t want that,” she denied.
“Then let me fix it.”
“We already tried—”
He kissed her again, cutting off the rest of her sentence. “Don’t say it. I’ll show you.” His fingers crept between her thighs. His breath grew heavier as they ventured inside her waistband. He stopped. “Is it okay?”
Nariah nodded, having gotten the go from Dr. Langston a few days prior. “Just go slow.” The fear of getting caught amplified the heat in her crotch. She widened her legs, making it easier for him to reach.
“I need you, baby.” His words tickled her neck, the tips of his fingers tickling her lips. A moan escaped him as he felt her wetness. “I’d be lost without you.” One finger circled around her opening before diving inside. He was gentle as he worked it in and out, the pace matching the pace of his breaths. “You’re my life. You gave me a beautiful son.”
Flashbacks returned her to their first night together. Unlike the hunger and curiosity he had then, love and knowing clothed each of his movements. She regained control of her neck muscles after the back of her head touched the couch. They weren’t alone. “Let’s go to the basement.”
Russell kept a look-out as she led the way down. The lights off, the sounds of denim sliding against their skin and rough choppy breathing were the only indications of their presence. He swept the magazines and books off the couch before guiding her down. The heat from their bodies left the cool draft unnoticed.
Nariah reminded him to go slow, spreading her legs. Her eyes rolled as he entered her. Arms finding their way around his neck, she pulled him closer. The feeling of him sliding in and out of her left her in a trance.
“You feel so good.”
She avoided speaking for fear of screaming out.
“I won’t let you go,” Russell moaned. “You’re mine.” The sofa legs squeaked as he increased his pace. “Say it.” The hunger had returned.
Smack.
“Tell me you’re mine.”
Nariah absorbed the sting in her ass, doubling down on her silence.
“Say it.”
Smack.
“Tell me,” he commanded. His orgasm arched his back, Nariah’s walls tensing around him making him shiver. He climbed out of her in search of something to clean up with. Finding a towel, he cleaned her first.
“Such a gentleman.”
He winked. “Always baby.”
They had just redressed and positioned themselves to appear normal when a yellow light stretched to the bottom step.
“Are y’all down here?” Maxwell called.
“Yeah Daddy. You can come down.”
Maxwell and Jacoby labored down the stairs. “Russell, I just wanted to let you know, man to man, you have my respect. A man never gives up on his family.”
“Thank you, Mr. Alexander,” Russell said, shaking his hand.
“Tyra is like a mama bear. While her concern isn’t misplaced, there’s also a hint of jealousy in it. I understand you still have room to grow. All Jacoby and I ask is that you take care of them.”
“You have my word.”
“Good. Your mom’s cooking. She sent us down here to tell you it’ll be ready in half an hour.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
Jacoby lingered as Maxwell climbed back up the stairs. When neither he nor Russell were looking, he held his nose, giving Nariah a knowing smile. “Love you, sis.” He laughed.
“Love you too, butthole.”
A moment later, Russell and Nariah were once again shrouded in darkness. Unable to see, she couldn’t tell what he was doing as he moved away from her. She felt him in front of her. The height of the silhouette of his curls showed that he was on his knee.
“I should have done this the first day I met you.” He grabbed her hand. “I don’t know how many times I can tell you how much I love you. At this point, I think only action will do. I don’t have a ring right now—”
“Don’t,” Nariah stopped him. “We had sex, that doesn’t mean we’re back on good terms.” She straightened her clothes before ascending the stairs, leaving him on his knee.
Chapter14
“Happy six months!” everyone cheered.
Carson’s toothless smile was wide, his eyes scanning the faces surrounding him before settling on the cake resting in front of him. Icing and cake debris splattered the adults. Carson’s hiccupping laugh made it easy to forgive.
Russell and Nariah slipped away while the rest of the family was preoccupied with taking pictures. Their relationship had improved, but she was less free with her forgiveness this time around.
“We make pretty babies,” Russell said.
“Yeah we do.” She didn’t pull away from him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. His heat felt good against her back. Despite still being on guard, she couldn’t deny the way being in his arms made her feel; safe, wanted, loved. She leaned into him and rested her arms on his.
“Does this mean you forgive me?” He tickled her ear with the tip of his tongue.
“No and stop,” she said, waving him away. “Just because we—” she made sure her family was still preoccupied— “did it a couple of times doesn’t mean anything.”
“I can’t tell.” He pulled her back into him, his hand between her legs. “You definitely have down here.”
They broke apart, separating to different areas of the kitchen as Tyra entered. Her laughter stopped, her eyes narrowing. “What’s going on in here?”
“Nothing, we were just uh—”
“We just about to come out,” Russell answered. “I have something I need to tell you all.” He held the door open for the women before following them out.
With everyone gathered on the couch, he put himself front and center. He locked eyes with Carson, who was sitting in Nariah’s lap, to keep his nervousness at bay. “As I’m sure you all are aware, I haven’t put my best foot forward in regard to Nariah. Being frank, I’ve let her down and I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most.”
He took a breath, continuing before Tyra had a chance to interrupt. “Even though Nariah hasn’t talked much about her past, I’m sure I’ve reminded her of her failed relationships and I’ll have to live with that.”
Tyra softened. She appreciated his candor and the ability to accept responsibility for his actions. She cleared her throat and raised her hand. “I just have to say this before you continue. I have to apologize.” All eyes cut to her, Russell’s the widest of the bunch. Carson mirrored what everyone else was doing, looking up at his grandmother. “I didn’t know the
situation with your father. I was insensitive and for that I’m sorry. For the record, I think you’re a good man and you managed to do so in spite of your father.”
“Thank you Tyra, that means a lot.” He combed his fingers through his hair.
Nariah noticed the muscles in his jaw. She offered a short smile as encouragement.
“With that being said, I want to take Nariah and Carson to meet my family. I think it’s time. With your blessings of course.”
“Do you really need our permission,” Tyra joked.
“I would like it,” he admitted.
“Nariah is a grown woman,” Maxwell yawned, standing. “She can go if she wants. Just leave the address and contact numbers.” After a long stretch, he announced he would be in the basement watching the game.
“Me too,” Jacoby added. He gave Russell a handshake and hug before following his dad.
Tyra, Nariah, Russell, and Carson remained, staring at one another, quiet for their own reasons.
“Like Maxwell said, it’s up to you,” Tyra said. “It’s a big step.”
“Are you sure the time’s right?” Nariah asked Russell. “I mean, we’re still, you know, tryin’ to work things out.”
“I’m not expecting anything to come of it. I just want Carson to meet his uncle and brother. He deserves it. If you don’t want to meet them, that’s fine.”
Nariah’s gaze shifted from her son to his father, her heart captivated by Carson as he tried to figure out what his toes were, staring in wonder as he curled and released them. “I guess you’re right. He does need to know the other side of his family.”
“When are you leaving?” Tyra asked.
“As soon as we can get packed. I just have to let the pilot know.”
“You’re friends with the pilot?”
“We’re flying private.” Russell chuckled.
“That’s right, you’re a billionaire.”
After hugs and apologies were exchanged, Russell left to join the other men, the sounds of the football game leaking through the door on his way down the stairs.
Nariah put Carson down for a nap and joined Tyra in the kitchen. She followed her mother’s instruction, chopping up celery, onions, and bell peppers. The women worked around one another, their movements seamless despite not having cooked with one another in a long time. The distinct spices took center stage, spinning and dutty wining in traditional Jamaican fashion to the beat their cutlery and appliances made. It wasn’t long before Nariah and Tyra joined in. The prep work done, all that was left was to let the stew cook.
Nariah pulled herself onto the counter, sitting with her legs crossed as she had done when she was a little girl. She was always fascinated with her mother’s happiness living the domesticated life; being a wife and homemaker.
It wasn’t something she inherited. Seeing it as a crutch in her youth, she had gained appreciation for the necessary skills to shoulder the weight associated with a family of four. As she thought back, she couldn’t remember a time seeing Tyra panic; not when the entire house came down with chickenpox, not when her dad lost his job and couldn’t find work for six months, not when they were left without water after construction crews broke the main line to the house.
Through it all, she remained the rock.
She couldn’t even remember seeing her mother cry. Despite having only looked at their differences for the majority of her life, she had come to realize that her mother was the reason for her own strength.
Tyra startled as Nariah wrapped her hands around her waist, hugging her from behind. “What’s that for?”
“I love you, Mommy.”
She wiggled around, wrapping her arms around Nariah’s shoulders. “I love you too sweetheart.”
“You’re the best Mommy,” Nariah said, letting her go. “Thank you for everything you do.”
Tyra sat in a chair, pulling the nearest one closer to her, patting the seat. “What’s on your mind?”
Nariah hoped she would develop the ability to read Carson’s mind as he grew older. “I was thinking about how you always kept us together. You never worried. And if you did, you didn’t let me and Jacoby see.”
“That’s what a mother is supposed to do. It wasn’t easy, trust me. And I did worry, a lot.”
“I know I gave you hell. I’m sorry.”
Tyra enclosed her hands around Nariah’s, tears causing her eyes to gleam. “You weren’t the only one. But I knew it would pass. You’re independent. I know you probably don’t think so, but you get that from me. So I expected tension between us at some point.”
“How do you do it? I can’t imagine—”
“You’ll learn. That baby that’s sleeping in the other room will pull out the best in you.” She laughed. “It doesn’t hurt to have a billionaire as your baby daddy.” After kissing Nariah’s forehead, she said, “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re going to make mistakes, both of you. Things won’t always be perfect, neither will they always go your way. You just have to roll with the punches.”
“I don’t know, Mommy. I’m scared.”
“As you should be. Having a family isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes patience and resilience, and that’s without kids. But you’ll get through it.”
“How are you and Daddy still together? You guys are getting ready to celebrate your 35th anniversary,” Nariah asked.
“Compromise and negotiation. You know how they say happy wife, happy life?”
Nariah nodded, captivated by the secret information.
“That’s true, but it’s also misleading. No one can make you happy. Our minds change too easily for that and it’s too much pressure to put on another person. You must be happy within yourself first.”
Nariah thought about all the Saturdays, she, Jacoby, and their dad spent out of the house, while her mom stayed home. “Self-care Saturdays.”
“That’s right.” Tyra winked. “There’s nothing wrong with spending time with yourself. Your happiness is important and deserves special attention. Another thing, how many times did you see or hear me and your dad argue?”
“Once or twice maybe.”
“Rule number two: never argue in front of your children. Kids should remain kids as long as possible. Arguing about adult issues in front of them only helps to disintegrate their innocence.”
“What else?” Nariah asked. She felt as if she should be taking notes, as if the information would never be shared again.
“Rule number three: don’t lose yourself in your relationship. Most people think marriage is two people coming together to form one. Again, this is true, but misleading. It’s how you lose yourself, in my opinion. You are an individual first. Despite how much you love someone, you were born alone and you’re going to die alone.”
“That’s depressing.”
“But it’s the truth. You and the person you love are supposed to form a union, meaning to take one another into consideration at all times. You help each other through your problems and celebrate each other’s successes. If a person truly loves you, you shouldn’t have to change too much about yourself.”
“And what’s too much?” Nariah asked.
“Anything physically, but that’s just my opinion. If the person you’re with is that focused on your physical appearance, he doesn’t love you for you.”
Nariah thought back to when Russell suggested what to wear and that that she would be more beautiful with her natural curls. She opened her mouth and closed it, deducing that his intent was pure because it was in reference to her natural state. “Thank you, Mommy.” She noticed Tyra’s smirk. “What?”
“That’s not all that was on your mind. Spill it,” she said, going to check the stew.
She was right. Nariah wanted to know what to do about the situation with Russell. Despite them feeling right together, she couldn’t help but string together all the things that had happened in the short time they knew each other, all of them pointing to the relationship ending in disaster.
&nb
sp; “You and Russell are going to be fine,” Tyra said, retaking her seat.
“Okay, you gotta tell me how you do that.”
“I will not. I’m giving you all this game, but I have to keep some for myself.” Tyra rose again, this time coming back with a wooden spoon filled with brown broth.
Nariah tasted it without direction, her eyes rolling as she relished the savory flavor. She held up the okay sign before asking for another spoonful.
Tyra fed her half and drank the rest. She sat down again. “Now tell me what’s worrying you.”
Nariah dropped her head between her arms. “Everything, Mommy. It seems like everything is going against us. I know relationships aren’t easy, but I know for a fact it’s not supposed to be this hard.”
“It’s all a test, my sweet. Everything that’s happened is a test of your love for one another. When you get married—”
“Who said anything about getting married?” Nariah questioned.
“He’s going to ask and you’re going to say yes. You can fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. It’s good that you two are going through this now. It’s still early in your relationship.”
“I don’t want to go through it at all, though.” The table muffled Nariah’s words as she voiced how unfair it was.
“Life isn’t fair; I’ve always told you that. But it is balanced. Russell has made his mistakes, but he’s willing to accept responsibility for them, which is something I can’t say for the majority of men these days. That’s something to be thankful for. Also, he loves you to the moon and back.”
“How can you tell?”
“By the way he looks at you. And he stood up to me.”
Nariah giggled. “That’s true.”
“And again, he’s a billionaire.”
“I never cared about his money Mommy. I love him...for him.”
Tyra cupped Nariah’s face in her hand. “That’s beautiful sweetheart, but you can’t tell me the money didn’t make you tingle a little bit.”
“Oh my God, Mom!”
“I’m just saying, if your dad was a billionaire—” She fanned herself.