A Girl Undone

by Catherine Linka

  Just you wait, his look told me.

  I stared back. Go ahead.

  “You need to act like you’re being auctioned today,” I told Hanna.

  “I will. I will. Thank you so much. You saved my life.”

  “Not yet, she hasn’t,” Streicker said.

  The snow stung my face as I limped back to the house, but I had a fire inside me. I wasn’t getting out, but Hanna was. I couldn’t guarantee Luke and I would be successful in our mission or even survive, but at least now Luke wouldn’t destroy himself trying to get revenge. Dad used to say that sometimes there are no good choices, only choices that are less awful.

  Now we had to get the hell away from Streicker before anything else happened.

  20

  A couple hours later, Streicker gave Luke the keys to the white van. Streicker must have been counting on me selling Luke out so I could go to Canada, because one quick call, and the two reporters were on a plane for Denver.

  “Leave the van with this guy,” Streicker said, handing Luke a scrap of paper with an address. “He’ll hide you and get you a ride into the mountains.”

  “Great,” Luke answered.

  Streicker thought for a moment before he added, “You might want to ask the reporters what they know about the rumor that the Saudis are pressing Jouvert for nuclear weapons.”

  “Nukes? That’s what this is about?”

  “Only two powers in the Middle East have the bomb: Israel and Iran. And they’re both enemies of the Saudis. If Jouvert gets nukes for the Saudis, no other candidate will be able to touch the money they’ll pour into making him president.”

  I turned away, sick to my stomach, and went down to the house to say good-bye to Lola. When I returned, the magnetic signs on the van had been changed to ROCKY MOUNTAIN FARRIERS.

  As I walked up, I heard Streicker say, “She’s dragging you down. I can take her to Canada in my next shipment and free you up to do what you need to do.”

  “No, thanks,” I said.

  Streicker wheeled around.

  “We’re going together,” I told him.

  “That’s right,” Luke added.

  Streicker shook his head at Luke. “You’re making a mistake, but I guess I can’t stop you.”

  Earlier, after he and Hanna’s dad negotiated the price for her return, Streicker had turned from cool toward me to arctic. I didn’t care, because seeing him release Hanna from that cage made it all worth it.

  We went to get in the van, and Streicker pulled Luke into a hug, tossing me a creepy smile over Luke’s shoulder that made me shiver. So I was more than happy to strap into the seat behind Luke, and drive off, leaving Streicker behind like something nasty I’d peeled off my skin.

  We got on a two-lane highway south of Laramie, headed for Fort Collins, Colorado. It was an hour and a half to Fort Collins, and if we didn’t run into problems, another hour or so to Denver.

  My swollen ankle throbbed, even though I’d popped more painkillers. Luke seemed to relax once we hit the road, and I felt lighter, knowing in a few hours we’d have the weight of the evidence off our backs.

  I rested my chin on his shoulder. “It feels good, knowing that when the reporters get this story out, Jouvert and the other Paternalists will have to answer for what they did.”

  “We’re going to stop him, Avie, I know it. And just in time.” Luke tilted his head so it leaned on mine. “Hey, I want to say I’m sorry. I know I’ve put you through a lot—”

  “Yeah, well, I haven’t always been that easy myself.” I had enough regrets for both of us. “Let’s forget about all that. Deal?”

  “Deal.” I felt Luke’s shoulder relax beneath my chin. “Avie, when this is over, and the feds aren’t hunting us anymore, what do you plan on doing?”

  “I don’t know. I’d say go home, but Jessop Hawkins still owns me. And I’m nervous about trying for Canada if it means having to deal with people like Streicker.”

  “Maybe you’d consider moving up to the mountains?”

  Our eyes met in the rearview mirror and there was the Luke I’d first come to know in the snow-frosted woods. His chestnut-colored eyes invited me to dream, and in that moment, I saw us together. Building a cabin with our own two hands. Riding horses into the hills. Hanging out with Jonas and Sarah and all the other kind people in Salvation.

  A life with Luke was idyllic and tempting, but it was a complete fantasy. I wasn’t a mountain girl. I couldn’t take off with Luke when I still loved Yates.

  “Luke, I—” I didn’t know how to answer, how to explain my mixed-up feelings. And I didn’t want to hurt him.

  “I thought I’d ask, what with your situation the way it is—”

  Yates in jail. Me Contracted to Hawkins.

  I went to speak, but Luke stopped me. “I know your heart’s with someone else.”

  Yes, but—I couldn’t let him think he was wrong to ask. “It might have been yours if I’d met you first.”

  Luke drove for another mile, then he pulled the van onto the shoulder. “Is there a problem?” I said.

  “No problem.” Luke climbed into the back and kneeled before me. He draped his hand on my shoulder and his eyes searched mine as his other hand moved to my waist. What are we doing? Then he eased me closer and kissed me.

  His kiss asked if I was sure how I felt about Yates, and my body answered by pressing into his. And the kiss I gave him back told me that I wanted him, too, that love wasn’t a simple “either-or.” Love could be both.

  I want you both.

  I know I shouldn’t, but I love you both.

  After all the drama and fear we’d lived through together, we were connected. We’d saved each other, goaded each other, condemned each other.

  I lost track of how long we kissed before Luke pulled away. He held both my hands in his, keeping us at arm’s length. Slow down, stop, he seemed to be telling himself.

  “I don’t know what will happen after we get to Denver,” he said, “but I hope you’ll come with me.”

  “Luke—”

  “Shush,” he whispered. “You don’t have to decide now.”

  He let go of my hands, and I reached up and ran my finger down the gold stubble on his cheek. His smile opened up his face, showing me the Luke who’d share his big, limitless heart.

  We gazed at each other for a long moment before Luke climbed back in his seat. I wiped the corners of my eyes. I wished things were simpler. Saving my heart for Yates had seemed like the most obvious thing in the world, but now in this moment, Luke was offering me a future, and my dream of a life with Yates seemed naïve, unrealistic even.

  Luke started the engine. “We’re low on gas. We’ll need to stop in Fort Collins.”

  I cursed Streicker under my breath for not filling up the tank. Once we hit the outskirts of the city, we started hunting for a station.

  Fort Collins looked like it was once a pretty town with gorgeous mountain views, but it hadn’t escaped the wrath of Scarpanol. We passed a shuttered preschool. A dead bridal store. Empty nail salons. Cars were parked outside the auto parts store, and the funeral home had fresh Christmas wreaths on the doors. Shiny snowmobiles were lined up outside the dealership, where red and green banners flapped overhead.

  Billboards lined the road. “Colorado State Nursing Program for Men. Big $$$ and Guaranteed Job Placement. 100% Government-paid Tuition.”

  “Mexican Brides! Bring Home a Gorgeous Señorita! Tour Price Includes All Legal Fees and Import Taxes!”

  “Granny’s Gun Club and Firing Range. Keep Your Independence! Low-cost Classes. Senior and Early Bird Discounts.”

  We pulled into a gas station with a convenience store, and parked by the pumps. “Looks like I got to go inside to pay,” Luke said. “You want anything?”

  “No, I’m good.” We were the only vehicle pulled up at the station. “I think I’ll freshen up, as long as we’re here.”

  I left my pack in the van, not wanting any extra weight on my ankle. The ba
throoms were on the side of the building, and I walked gingerly, keeping my head down.

  The step into the bathroom was coated with ice. As I reached for the doorknob, my foot slid and I came down hard on my bad ankle. “Aiiee.” Colors burst behind my eyelids, and I made myself breathe until the pain subsided.

  Inside, I did my business, then tidied up at the mirror. The hanging was twisted around my neck like a scarf and I fingered the stitching. I was so ready to hand it over to the reporters. I’d bleached it off-white at Vera’s, but anyone who knew stitch code could help the reporters decipher it.

  But what if the reporters aren’t reporters?

  Luke and I were headed to a meeting, but Streicker didn’t know these guys. Sure, he was smart, but even smart guys get fooled.

  I slid the phone out of my jeans. This was the crucial piece of evidence, and the hardest to hide. I remembered police in movies frisking criminals under the arms and down the legs and I stuffed it in my boot, thinking I was being ridiculous. If the feds caught me, they’d find the phone in seconds.

  Breathe, I told myself. In an hour, this could be past tense.

  I opened the door, and a man stood in my way. He had a beard, and a beat-up cowboy hat, and he smelled like Red Hots. “Excuse me,” I said.

  He tossed the toothpick he was chewing. “Miss Reveare, if you would come with me.”

  My stomach plunged, and I scanned the pumps for Luke. “He’s still inside,” the man said. “You can save him a lot of pain if you come quietly.”

  The man pointed to the open door of the SUV pulled up next to us. Two other men waited inside the idling car.

  Apparently, they weren’t interested in Luke, only me. “Let me guess,” I said. “You work for Jessop Hawkins?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I glanced over my shoulder, knowing I had only a second to decide. I couldn’t jump the fence behind me, and I couldn’t make a dash for the street, not on this ankle. If I yelled for Luke, these men would hurt him, and who knows what they’d do if they discovered the thumb drive he was carrying.

  The choice became crystal-clear. Give up my freedom, and Luke could finish our mission. Go back to Hawkins, and Jouvert would pay for his crimes. I had to surrender so Luke and thousands of girls like me would get justice.

  I got into the SUV.

  The man climbed in after me, crushing me against his buddy. He peeled off his beard, and chucked his cowboy hat over the seat. “Do we need to handcuff you?”

  “No.”

  The SUV pulled away from the station and I saw Luke exit the store with a bottle of orange soda. I raised my hand to wave, knowing full well he couldn’t see me through the nearly black windows.

  He strolled over to the van. Luke would probably wait a few minutes before he tried knocking on the bathroom door. When I didn’t answer, what would he do? I kept my gaze locked on him.

  Go. Go meet the reporters, Luke. Don’t wait for me. Go.

  The car sped away, and all the fight in me dissolved. A faint memory of a poem surfaced in my head, something about the world ending not with a bang but a whimper.

  I’d imagined that when the feds captured me, there’d be guns and noise and blood, that I’d be screaming hysterically, not sitting in a back seat silently giving up.

  I had not given up. I had sacrificed myself.

  So you have to go, Luke. Go meet the reporters.

  I pictured him starting the van, as if by picturing it, I could make it happen. He couldn’t save me, and I didn’t want him to try. Go, Luke. Save the Mikhaelas and the Hannas out there.

  And please, for God’s sake, don’t get hurt.

  * * *

  The Fort Collins airport was only minutes away. We went in a back entrance and drove up to a private jet on the tarmac. “After you,” the Retriever said, pointing to the lowered stairs.

  I wasn’t surprised in the least to see Adam Ho, Hawkins’ assistant, in one of the cushy white leather seats. Ho didn’t bother to get up or even set down his tablet. “Welcome back, Aveline.”

  “Yeah. Long time no see.”

  Seeing him again, I realized why Ho reminded me of a lizard. It wasn’t just the taut skin on his face, it was his slender geckolike body.

  The Retrievers took the seats behind Ho, leaving me to pick from the three nearest him. I chose the one right across the aisle so I wouldn’t have to look him in the face. Ho made a call while I strapped in. “Yes, we have her. We’ll wire you the funds immediately,” Ho said, slipping his phone back in his pocket.

  The person who’d ratted me out was getting her reward money. I imagined Hazel McAllister lounging at a resort in Florida, smacking her toadlike lips.

  “Mr. Streicker said to tell you that you did the right thing, going quietly and not getting his man involved.”

  I shook my head. Bastard.

  Now the nearly empty gas tank made sense. At least Streicker had kept Luke’s name a secret.

  A quarter of a million for turning me in. It was pure Streicker, playing both sides of the field. Taking the reward, and turning me over to Hawkins while helping Luke screw the Paternalists—the same guys whose new laws were making Streicker a fortune in the smuggling business.

  I unzipped my ski jacket. The plane lined up for takeoff and my eyes began to fill.

  I will not cry. I bit the inside of my lip, until I tasted blood, because I’d be damned if I’d let Ho see me lose it. I lifted my chin and sat up straight.

  Screw Streicker and Hawkins. Screw them both.

  Retrieved

  21

  During the flight back to L.A., I stared out the window at the smooth white wing, but all I kept seeing was Luke with that bottle of orange soda coming out of the convenience store at the gas station. I prayed he wasn’t still there, that he’d realized I was gone and had continued on to Denver.

  I hoped he thought I’d bolted. He’d hate me, but at least then he wouldn’t torture himself looking for me. The worst was if he believed I’d been taken, because good guy that he was, he’d blame himself for leaving me alone.

  The pilot didn’t land at LAX, but at a smaller airport in the valley. We taxied up to a waiting helicopter and Ho handed me a big khaki fabric bag. “Put this on.”

  “What?”

  “It goes over your head with the mesh panel in front.”

  Apparently, the mesh was so I could see out. “You want me to wear this?”

  “For a smart girl, you can be quite dense. Mr. Hawkins does not want your face on the news—not before he has ironed out your legal issues. I myself wouldn’t mind seeing U.S. Marshals carry you off.”

  “I bet you’d hand me over to them personally if you thought it would help Jes Hawkins’ bid for governor.”

  “Without hesitation.”

  As I drew the cotton twill over my head, I saw the label. Chaste Wear. Sparrow had told me she’d seen girls in New York wearing these things, but I didn’t believe her.

  The small mesh rectangle only let me see what was directly ahead and I couldn’t see my feet at all. A hot Santa Ana wind whipped the bag around my legs as I limped down the steps of the plane. I grabbed at the fabric before I found two slits for my hands.

  Heat rose off the tarmac, baking me inside the layers of twill, down, and wool. The Retrievers flanked me the short distance to the helicopter and waited until Ho and I were buckled in before they secured the doors and drove off. Mission accomplished.

  Ho gave me a thin-lipped smile. “Time to go home.”

  We flew over the freeway and into the Santa Monica mountains. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I can’t believe I’m going back to Hawkins, and that I went through all that hell for nothing.

  The helicopter pitched in the wind as it approached Hawkins’ compound, and I gripped the seat belt across my chest with both hands. Below, the privacy fence cut across the point, severing the compound from the Pacific Coast Highway. The grounds were as welcoming as he was: harsh, rocky, and covered in brush probably riddled with
rattlesnake nests.

  Once I was inside that fence, chances were I wasn’t getting away. And if I did somehow manage to, Hawkins would alert every law enforcement agency and I’d be dead within hours. The feds would make sure I couldn’t testify in a trial.

  The pilot went to touch down on the landing pad on Hawkins’ underground garage, but the wind surged and tossed us out over the ocean. My heart almost stopped, then the pilot maneuvered us back over the house and onto the pad. He shut down the engine, and I rubbed the tear tracks off my cheeks.

  Thank God, Hawkins isn’t here to greet me. I need time to take this in.

  The pilot got out first. I hesitated at the doorway, unsure how to step down without injuring my foot. He raised his wrestler-sized arms. “Let me give you a hand.”

  “Thanks.”

  He lifted me down as if I weighed the same as a bag of groceries.

  “Deeps is your new bodyguard,” Ho said.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said. Deeps had shaved the sides of his head, but left his bleached-blond hair long on top. It was tied back in a half pony. He was half as old and probably twice as strong as my old bodyguard, Roik. Hawkins must have wanted to make sure I couldn’t overpower this one.

  All the coaching I’d received about bodyguards from my teacher Ms. A came back. Be polite. Get him on your side. Find out what he likes to eat and keep it in the house. Cheer for his sports team, especially if your dad or domestic manager cheers for its rival.

  I’d peeled down to my sweater back in the chopper. The wind whipped the ends of the sleeves that were tied around my neck.

  The house was out of sight, set into the cliff below us. Ho motioned to the stairs that led down to the entry. “He’s waiting.”

  Hawkins.

  My chest filled with broken glass. This is really happening. Deeps offered me his arm. “Like some help with those steps?”

  I looked into his smoky gray eyes, wishing he would read my thoughts, put me in the copter, and fly me away. “Yes, please.”

  I steeled myself. Hawkins had just dropped a quarter million to get me back, and had to be furious that I’d messed up his bid for governor. That much I knew.