Bye Bye Baby

by McIntosh, Fiona

  She’d already booked ahead at St Catherine’s Lodge in Hove under an alias, but had made no restaurant reservation. Billy would never make it to dinner, she thought, a fresh coldness washing over her as she began to mentally prepare for the next killing.

  The jeans and hooded sweatshirt looked perfect; her hair pulled back in a clasp with wisps breaking free to fall carelessly around her face. No make-up and that good skin of hers ensured her freshly scrubbed appearance belied her age. This morning she was a caterer and needed to pick up her van from Mrs Shannon’s garage. Anne didn’t have to send her as much money as she did but the regular cash kept the old girl’s lips tightly zipped. She was probably happily counting her latest windfall right now.

  Jack’s phone vibrated next to his chest as he ordered a cream cheese and smoked salmon panini at Giorgio’s, to go with the long black to wake him up.

  ‘Thanks, Lucia,’ he said to the Italian waitress.

  She winked as she began preparing his takeaway breakfast. Lucia liked men in uniform, and had once quipped to a co-worker that even though Jack was a plainclothes officer she’d take him in a frilly tutu, if that was what he chose to wear.

  He flashed her a smile as he answered the phone. ‘Hawksworth.’

  ‘Did you have breakfast?’

  He felt a spike of warmth move through him. ‘You didn’t offer.’

  ‘You were in a hurry.’

  ‘I’ll always make time for a quickie.’

  ‘Are we talking about food, Jack?’ Sophie purred.

  ‘I’m very hungry,’ he added and heard her laugh softly down the phone. ‘Thank you again.’

  ‘It was a pleasure. So where are you? It sounds too noisy for work.’

  ‘Ordering breakfast.’

  ‘I hope she offers only food.’

  ‘I’ll tell the gorgeous Lucia you said that,’ he threatened and watched the waitress blow him a kiss across the counter.

  He dug into his pocket and handed over a ten-pound note. ‘They do the best paninis in London here and with any filling you want,’ he said loud enough for Lucia to hear as she wrapped up his sandwich and placed a lid on the coffee.

  ‘Goodie, try them on baked beans and Mars Bar.’

  ‘Very amusing. So what time are you leaving?’

  Sophie paused. ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Your mother. What time are you headed off?’

  ‘Oh! Sorry, my head’s all over the place today, I forgot I’d told you. See what a bit of long overdue sex does to a girl?’ Jack chuckled deeply. ‘There’s a Virgin train from Paddington at five past ten, I’ve got a reservation on that one. First class — I need the sleep. How about you? Will you keep awake on the case?’

  ‘Not sure I want to even go to work,’ he sighed.

  ‘Things aren’t stalling though, are they?’

  ‘No, not really. In fact, we hooked up with an old policeman who’s helping us with a crime that goes back several decades, can you believe. We think it has a bearing on these murders.’ He heard only silence. ‘Sophie?’

  ‘I’m here, sorry, trying to do two things at once. So a cold case — is that what you call it?’

  ‘Yes. One of our diligent diggers at the Yard dug far enough back to turn up something.’

  ‘Well done. Sounds like you’re on his trail then.’

  ‘Or hers.’

  ‘No! A woman?’

  ‘Who knows? Anyway, look, I’m not supposed to discuss anything.’

  ‘Who am I going to tell, Jack?’

  ‘I know, I know, but protocol and all that. To answer your question, I don’t want to go to work because I’d rather spend the day with you.’

  She gurgled a laugh. ‘I know. I promise I won’t stay away too long. But I can’t let Mum down.’

  ‘Give me the landline number.’

  ‘Oh, just use my mobile. It might as well be an appendage anyway.’

  ‘Well, give me an address. I might suddenly want to send you flowers.’

  ‘You gave me flowers yesterday. Don’t waste your money, Jack. I’ll only be away from London for a day, really.’

  ‘Sophie, don’t ruin my fun, please.’

  ‘It’s your money. It’s called The Haven — I know, I know, and it even looks like a chocolate box. School Lane, South Molton and then just Devon will do. But, Jack, I’d rather we went to a show again than more flowers, truly.’

  ‘You get there safely and be nice to your mum. Can I call you?’

  ‘Sure. But I’ll call you straight back if you hit my voicemail. Mum can be a bit all consuming.’

  ‘Alright, looking forward to Sunday night, if you make it back. Speak later.’

  He waited to hear the line go dead, then picked up his panini and coffee, waved farewell to Lucia and turned straight into the barrel chest of a police officer he recognised.

  ‘Don’t spill your coffee, Jack.’

  ‘DI Deegan,’ he replied, his good mood instantly souring.

  ‘DCI Deegan, you mean.’

  ‘Congratulations.’ Jack made to leave. ‘Excuse me.’

  ‘Er, before you go, Jack.’

  ‘DCI Hawksworth, you mean.’

  Deegan gave him a smirk. ‘I’d like a word.’

  ‘Make an appointment.’

  ‘I thought I’d keep it low key.’

  ‘Why, Roy? Is this work or personal?’

  ‘Bit of both, Jack.’ He shrugged embarrassment, which they both knew was feigned.

  ‘I’m not sure if you know but I’m heading up Operation Danube. We’re pretty flat chat at the moment — breakfasts on the run, that sort of thing.’ Jack held up his coffee and made the effort to keep any trace of sarcasm out of his voice.

  Deegan nodded. ‘Oh yes, I know exactly what you’re working on. In fact, I know everything you do, Jack.’

  Hawksworth frowned. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I want you squirming, constantly wary, and my gut instinct tells me that’s the feeling you’re going to get used to in coming weeks.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘We’re talking about your conduct, but look, don’t worry. You’re too busy, as you say. I tried to keep this a quiet chat but if you want me to come up and visit you on the twelfth floor and speak to you in front of your colleagues, by all means. I’d like to see that view.’

  Jack lost all patience. ‘Deegan, what are you up to?’

  ‘My job, Jack.’

  ‘Which is?’ He knew but he was buying time.

  ‘Oh, haven’t you caught up, yet? I’ve been with the Ghost Squad for a couple of years.’

  ‘Ghost Squad,’ Jack said sardonically.

  ‘Mmmm, that’s right. And you know what we guys and gals like to do over at DPS.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but I don’t see what the Directorate of Professional Standards has to do with me.’

  ‘Oh, it has everything to do with you, DCI Hawksworth, because I’m going to recommend that you be put under investigation.’

  Jack moved from disdain to outrage. ‘What?’ he roared.

  People began to look around.

  ‘I thought it only fair you should know.’

  ‘I wish I knew what the hell you’re banging on about, Deegan. Now either make sense or fuck off out of my face. I’ve got work to do.’

  Deegan grinned. It was sly and didn’t reflect in his hard, calculating eyes. ‘So have I, Jack. I’m sure we’ll be talking again shortly but let me leave you with this thought. Liz Drummond might have left the Force ten years ago but she didn’t leave it empty-handed.’

  Jack stared at him open-mouthed.

  ‘Later, Hawk,’ Deegan said, loading the nickname with derision, then he was gone.

  Kate fidgeted with the froth on her morning cappuccino. She wondered yet again what she was doing here in Highgate Village. She should be at the Yard, taking her theory up with her boss in the appropriate manner, not stalking him in his own suburb. But then this has nothing to do with work, does it, Kate?
she thought, defiantly ripping the top off a sugar packet and tipping the contents into the cup. She stirred angrily.

  She’d slept little, wrestling all night with her thoughts. Dan had come home briefly, planning to head out again after a quick change of clothes to meet up with some friends. She’d given him stick about the mess that morning and the fact that he hadn’t taken her out to dinner or a show, to a movie or even a local cafe in so long she couldn’t remember the last time. She’d asked for trouble taking that tack. It didn’t help her irate mood, of course, that Dan could remember all their recent movie outings. His terrific memory had made her even angrier and she’d asked him if he could see a pattern emerging. When he’d stared at her silently, puzzled, she’d hurled back: ‘Fantasies, Dan! No sense of reality . . . just like your life and this sham of a relationship.’

  That was it, he’d stormed out. Her fury at him turning his back on her when she felt she most needed him to love her had prompted Kate to walk out of their home herself, and stay away. Her acid thoughts in the lonely hotel room had inevitably turned to Jack and the Marvin Gaye fan, and the only saving grace for the ugly evening was a fresh theory about the case that had come to her while softly weeping about her love life being such a mess and her chance at having a family seemingly non-existent.

  Hours later, showered and hoping the make-up covered her puffy eyes, she armed herself with this new notion about the killer’s motives and convinced herself she wanted to run it by DCI Hawksworth but didn’t feel like airing it for everyone’s scorn. Hence the trip over to Highgate. Even she could hear the lie echoing through her thoughts.

  ‘Penny for them,’ a voice said. Kate looked up. It was the older waitress, who’d served her. ‘Something wrong with my coffee?’

  ‘Lost in my thoughts, sorry.’

  ‘You look miserable and it’s only just past seven in the morning. You must have got up before the birds, my girl. Want a triple chocolate dream biscuit? We made them last night — guaranteed to perk you up and unbelievably good.’

  ‘Not good for my hips though,’ Kate replied sternly, for her own benefit more than the woman’s. She sipped her coffee, relished the hit of sugar. ‘This is good, thank you.’

  ‘Got stuff on your mind, eh? Well, cheer up, girl. Being miserable won’t solve it.’

  Kate gave a half-hearted grin. The woman — probably the owner, she realised — obviously wasn’t going to let her stew quietly. ‘My boss lives here somewhere — I think his place is just around the corner. I should see him at work but I’d hoped to have a private chat, and yet it feels a bit un-PC, you know, to come to his home. What would you do?’

  She swallowed the rest of the coffee — it wasn’t hot any more but it was decent enough not to waste, and at four pounds she couldn’t afford to. Bloody Highgate prices!

  ‘Depends how honest you are.’

  Kate looked up, puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, are you stalking him? If you can’t honestly say you’re not, then it’s not right you visit where he lives. If you genuinely need to talk to him quietly and your conscience is clear, where’s the problem?’

  Bull’s-eye. Definitely not the dumb waitress.

  ‘Yeah, you’re right,’ Kate said, standing up, deciding to head straight into the office. Her conscience certainly was not clear. Not with the way she was feeling at the moment about Dan, about Jack’s new romance, about her own life.

  ‘What do you do?’ the woman said, gathering up the detritus of coffee things on Kate’s table.

  ‘I’m with the police.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ she said, clearly surprised. ‘You look like you’re in fashion or something. Hang on, your boss isn’t that lanky, drop-dead gorgeous guy, is it?’

  Shit! ‘Um, no, doesn’t sound like him. He’s bald . . . and paunchy.’

  ‘Oh, okay, ’cos there’s this dark, good-looking sort who comes in here some weekends. I saw him once being dropped off in a police wagon, and not so long ago he dropped his wallet in here and I saw the ID. I’m sure it said Detective something or other.’

  Double shit! ‘I don’t think it’s my boss — wish it was,’ Kate said with a contrived air of wistfulness. ‘Thanks.’

  She left hurriedly, her cheeks burning. In her disquiet, she turned in the wrong direction for where her car was parked. Rather than look like the goose she was certainly being, Kate kept walking, following the road around, hoping she could keep turning left and find her way back to her car. Except there were no left turnings and she had to keep walking, finally finding herself at an entrance to Waterlow Park. It was beautiful in the watery winter sunlight and she envied Jack his sumptuous surrounds. Some good came of your parents’ death then, she thought uncharitably. No matter how well paid he was, no DCI could live here solely on his earnings. She’d heard rumours that Jack was very well heeled as a result of the accident. The roadster he sometimes reluctantly brought into work was testimony to that, together with his address.

  She sat down on a bench to gather her thoughts but jumped when her phone rang. She wildly hoped it was Jack but could see who it was on the screen of the mobile. She pressed the button but didn’t say anything. ‘Kate?’

  ‘Yes?’ she said finally.

  ‘Where are you?’

  ‘That’s my business.’

  ‘It’s not right that you don’t come home.’

  ‘It’s not right that you treat me as you do.’

  ‘How, Kate? How am I treating you?’

  She sighed. Sick of herself and her gripes and her sudden overwhelming sense of bitterness. ‘Dan, I don’t want to do this. Last night was enough, okay?’

  ‘Look, we’ve been building to this for ages. We’ve both felt it, so don’t tell yourself otherwise. Let’s get it out, whatever’s bothering us.’

  She didn’t want to. Didn’t want to remember how close to the truth Dan had been. ‘You do recall your accusation from last night?’ she said, the memory of his words hurting her again.

  ‘Am I wrong, Kate? Aren’t you infatuated with your boss?’

  ‘That’s so ridiculous!’

  ‘You talk about him so much.’

  ‘And you talk about Darth Malek from your stupid “Star Wars” game — at least Jack’s real. And anyway, you never stop talking about that woman, Gail, at your office. I don’t accuse you of being in love with her.’

  ‘Gail’s forty-seven, Kate,’ he said and she heard the sarcasm. ‘And besides, I didn’t say in love, I said infatuated — there’s a difference.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Kate sneered.

  ‘If it’s just an infatuation, then I can win you back, Kate. If it’s more, I can’t compete with poster boy.’

  ‘Don’t call him that.’

  ‘Why? Does it upset you?’

  ‘Because he doesn’t deserve it, Dan. He’s innocent and he’s a good boss. Jack’s seeing someone and this is just a fabrication in your mind. You need to blame anyone but yourself for the fact that our relationship is breaking down.’

  There, she’d said it. She realised she was breathing hard, the pain in her chest from tears held back was threatening to explode and then the dam would burst and release a torrent. She had to regain control.

  His voice came out broken. ‘So our relationship is breaking down — it’s over — is that what you’re saying?’

  She sniffed. ‘It doesn’t need me to say it, Dan. It’s what we both know. People in love don’t behave like we do.’

  ‘Oh, and how do they behave?’ He was getting angry now.

  ‘They don’t just share the same bed, Dan. They talk, they go out, they make love, they want to be with each other every minute of the day. They think about no one else.’

  Silence greeted her outpouring and she felt the tears sting in her eyes at the treachery in her own words. Admit it or not, Jack Hawksworth was the catalyst for this. She and Dan were breaking up, she could feel it happening in this phone call, and the worst part was, she just wanted to get it over
with.

  ‘The thing is, Dan, I’m not blaming you — we’re both in this together. Maybe it’s our work, but things don’t feel right.’

  ‘Kate, don’t do this. We’re supposed to be getting married, for god’s sake,’ he begged, all anger gone. ‘Our parents . . .’ He stopped, his voice already ragged.

  ‘I’m sorry, Dan. We can’t commit to marriage just because our families love us together.’

  ‘So we change. We’ll move as we planned. I’m earning enough now — you can have your more swanky London address. You’ll need to change your job though, Kate. I don’t mean leaving the Force but you can’t work with that Hawksworth guy. I don’t trust him.’

  ‘Well, just for the record, I do. And, you see, I don’t believe we are good together any more and I don’t want the life that you’re shaping for me.’

  ‘And he can give you the life you want, I suppose.’

  ‘Dan! Shut up about my boss. He’s got nothing to do with this. This is about us and how wrong we are.’

  ‘I don’t believe you. Where are you?’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I can hear birds.’

  ‘I’m in a park . . . somewhere to think.’

  ‘Which park?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  As if by divine intervention, a voice suddenly asked, ‘Excuse me, is this Waterlow Park?’ Two older people looked down at her, their worried faces telling her they had probably been lost for a while.

  She felt sick. ‘Yes, it is.’

  ‘Do you know where Cumberland Street is?’

  ‘I’m sorry but I don’t. I don’t live here.’ They looked so anxious, Kate felt obliged to help. ‘Just give me a moment, please.’ She spoke into her phone again. ‘Dan? I’ve got to go.’