by Ey Wade
"It won't open," she had said. "There's a child safety lock on the door. I don't want you to fall out. So just sit back, put the seat belt back on and be still."
"No. I don't wanna go with you. My Auntie is coming. She's gonna take me to my momma." He slapped the back of the seat near her head repeatedly in his anger.
"Sit back, I said." She growled and reached to shove him backwards as she approached the stop sign and abruptly hit the brakes, which caused him to slide off the seat and onto the floor. "Or you'll be sorry."
Scrambling from the floor, Brhin got back on the seat. As he did he noticed one of the teachers in The P. S. Center's yard and he banged on the closed side window and shouted.
“Hey, help. Get me out of this car." He pressed his face to the glass.
The heat from his breath fogged the glass and he rubbed his hand on the glass to clear it. Brhin noticed how one of the children pointed towards the car and said something as it started to slide away.
"Sit down, Brhin." The woman commanded.
Ignoring her order, Brhin swung his body to the rear window. He saw the teacher standing and looking towards the car and he started to cry. There was nothing she could do because he was now too far away and the lady was starting to drive faster.
"Brhin put on your seat belt. I am bringing you home."
"You promise?" He sniffled.
"Yes.... and you'll be happy there."
She had driven around for what seemed like forever. Stopping and turning, until finally she had turned into the driveway of this house and pulled the car into the garage.
"This is not my house. Lady, you're at the wrong house," Brhin shouted when the woman lifted him from the car. "And put me down. I can walk."
"I know. I don't want to linger out here. It is getting colder. We'll just go inside for a little while."
"You promised to take me home."
"And so I did. We'll talk about it inside. Behave, is this the way your mother would want you to act?"
Hearing this and knowing how his mother felt about misbehavior, Brhin immediately stopped struggling and lay still in her arms. When they had gotten in the house she carried him to the large blue chair and struggled with him to take of his jacket.
"I don't want you to take my jacket." Brhin sobbed, pulling tenaciously at it until he pulled the bundle of material from her grip and crammed it behind his back.
"I won't take it, Son. I just don't want you to sit in here with it on. It's kind of warm."
"I won't put it back on." Brhin promised through the unshed tears caught in his throat. Cautiously pulling the jacket from behind his back, Brhin hugged it closely to his chest.
"Okay. I'll just go and lock the kitchen door and I'll be back. Relax."
Brhin sat back in the chair and watched her as she left the room. She was big. She was a lot taller than his momma and a whole lot fatter. The comparisons of the two women making him wonder what his momma was doing. She's probably waiting for him and crying. He wanted to go home. Moving to the edge of the chair, he started to get down when he heard the woman returning to the room.
Pressing his back into the smelly upholstery of the chair as the woman approached, Brhin pulled his jacket closer to his chest and bit the collar apprehensively. He studied her face closely. It felt as if he should know her, but he couldn't figure out where he’d seen her before. Her eyebrows grew so close together and were so thick that she looked as if she had only one and the mole on her face was big and ugly, but her hair was pretty. It reminded him of a few of the girls from his center who wore their hair the same way. What was it they called it? Oh, braided. To him it looked like a bunch of tiny jump ropes.
He remembered how the first time he had noticed the little girls' hair like that and had asked his mom if he could have his done and she had laughed before tickling him until he had run around the room laughing with her chasing him. The thought made him miss her.
"Why did you bring me here?" Brhin asked softly. "You said my mommy told you to come and get me. I wanna go home."
"Your mommy did tell me to come and get you. I just thought it would be nice to spend a little time together and get to know each other. Wouldn't you like that?"
"No." Brhin shook his head slowly. "I want to see my momma. She's sick, ya know. And her neck is all hot, so when I get home I put a cool towel on her head and we lie in her bed and watch cartoons. She says it makes her feel a lot better when I'm at home. We get all unner the covers. And she hugs me close." He smiled. "She has a lot of pillows on her bed. Sometimes she hides little candies under the pillows and we play hide and seek to find them. Then we laugh and laugh. And I…"
"I don't want to hear all of that. You're not going there right now so just get over it. Are you hungry my son?" She softened her tones abruptly when she saw an expression of apprehension cross Brhin's face. "I know you should be. Its three thirty and you didn't take the snack your teacher had at The P. S. Center."
The lady knelt down before him and pressed her face close to his. Their noses were almost touching. Her breath smelled awful and her teeth looked as if they had not been brushed in years. The only thing that looked nice about her was her hair.
"There's a McDonald's across the street. I know how much you like your nuggets, Son. I can go across and get you some."
"No, thank you. I just wanna go home. My momma will be looking for me. I'm not your son. You're not my momma." He shouted, sitting straighter in his chair and pointing his finger at her.
"Shhh, From now on I am. Your old mommy can't take care of you any longer and she asked me to keep you so I'll be your new mommy." She explained in childish tones. "Can you try to understand that? As you said earlier she is ill. She's too sick to keep you. I will take care of you now.”
Brhin opened his mouth to argue with the lady but changed his mind. He hated when people talked to him as if he were a baby. His momma said it was because he was such a little guy that people just thought he was younger and couldn't understand. "People only know how smart you are when you show them," she would say. Brhin returned to his position in the chair and studied the woman's face. He still had the improbable feeling that he knew her, but then realized that she was a total stranger. As he looked into her face, he remembered things that his mother had told him about strangers and what to do if he was ever with one. She always said to be brave and tell them whatever they wanted to hear and as soon as possible, try and call home. Leave a message on the answering machine if she was not there and then call the police. "Remember, Brhin," she had said. "No matter what a stranger tells you about me, I will always love you and never stop looking for you."
"Son," The woman rubbed the top of his head. "What are you thinking about?"
"I'm hungry," answered Brhin, moving out of her reach.
She dropped her arm to her side and watched him pensively. She noticed the way he clutched his jacket tightly in front of him and she stepped back from the chair.
"You don't have to be afraid of me. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I have been waiting to have you here for a long time. When I come back I want to show you all of the things I have gotten for you. You will love them. What I wanted to say was I am just about to run to Mc Donald's across the street and get you nuggets. You can stay here if you like."
Brhin looked around the room again. It was dirty. Old papers and McDonald's cartons and paraphernalia were scattered everywhere. A nasty pile of roaches crawled around eating crumbs of food sitting near the clothes on the sofa.
"You gonna leave me by myself?"
"Yes. It is cold outside. Oh, wait a minute. I have something for you." She left the room and came back holding a small stuffed brown bear.
"Hey, how'd you get my bear?" Brhin sat up in the large chair and leaned forward, excitedly reaching for the toy. "I take JoJo everywhere. He can't go with me to school though." Forgetting his anxiety, Brhin buried his face in the bear's fur. "This is not really my bear."
"It is your bear, Son."
>
"It doesn't smell like my teddy." He sniffed the fluffy fake fur on the stuffed bear's body.
"No, I just washed it. He was really dirty. Your momma gave him to me."
Puzzled, Brhin looked from the bear to the woman.
Shrugging his shoulders, he hugged the stuffed animal closer and leaned back in his chair. At home, whenever his momma was too busy, he would watch television with JoJo. It made him feel less lonely. He figured this stuffed bear would be just as good.
"Okay, but I still don't wanna stay here by myself. Momma never leaves me. That's bad."
The woman stopped in her act of putting on her coat and gave Brhin a considering look.
"You're right. Something could happen while you're here alone. Come on, put on your coat. We'll run over and right back. I can't afford to let you get sick."
While they were standing on the porch, Brhin studied the house as the lady locked the door. He recognized the color of the house to be yellow and a zero and a four were in the address but couldn’t recognize the other numbers. He thought to himself.
"Lady, what are those numbers on your house?" He asked aloud.
"Don't let them worry you, Son. And remember this, I want you to stop calling me 'lady' and call me 'mom', all right?"
She tugged him down the steps.
"Yes."
Acknowledging her request absently, Brhin repeated the numbers of the house over and over in his mind, almost forgetting them when he stopped to the edge of the sidewalk. Standing near the woman on the sidewalk next to the curb, Brhin looked around in amazement.
“I know this street.” Brhin spoke low and excitedly. “I go to that McDonald's every cartoon day for breakfast with my momma. If I go that way, he looked to his right I go to the daycare center. I don't want to go there. If I turn that way,” He looked to his left. “I can go home. I wanna go home.”
He tried to pull his hand out of the lady's grip, but she tightened her fingers. Erroneously interpreting his tug, the lady gave his arm a sharp jerk.
"Be still. Do you want to fall into the street? As soon as the car passes, we will go."
"When can I go home?" Brhin asked as they crossed the street.
"When we come back from McDonald's you’ll go home."
Brhin looked around McDonald's interior for a familiar face. This was the place where he spent his every Saturday morning. He knew none of these people. He knew all of the people that worked on Saturday mornings by name and they knew him. These workers smiled when they took his order, but he still didn't know them. Oh well, I will be home soon. He thought to himself and smiled again. He was still smiling on the return walk to the lady's house. His joy at the anticipated trip to his mother had him bubbling over and causing him to sing a tiny tune. His smile abruptly disappeared when they entered the house and the lady began removing her coat.
"You promised me I would go home. I wanna go home, lady." He shouted angrily.
"You are home." She pulled him towards her and began to unzip his jacket.
"You stop it." Brhin slapped at her hands and persistently twisted and turned his body as he tried to pull away.
"Be still, Son."
Holding Brhin's body firmly, she yanked the sleeves of his jacket down his arms and sat him none too gently, in the chair he had occupied earlier.
"You are home, Son. This is 'home', now."
"No it isn't. I want my momma." Tears began to roll down his face.
"I am your momma."
"No you're not. You're just a stranger. I'm gonna pray for my momma to come and get me. And when she does, you'll be sorry." Brhin put his head on the arm of the chair and cried loudly.
"Don't cry, Son." She rubbed his head. "You will be happy here. I.... oh the phone is ringing. I'll get that while you dry your face and stop crying."
Brhin jumped from the chair and quickly followed the woman to the other end of the room.
"Is that my momma?" He asked hopefully. Jumping up and down excitedly, Brhin grabbed for the phone's cord and pulled on it repeatedly. "Let me speak to her."
"No, it isn't. Go back and sit in that chair and behave yourself or you'll be sorry. Who is who?" The lady turned her attention back to the telephone and questioned the person on the other end of the telephone. "Oh, that was a friend of mine's little boy. I'm just watching him for a while. Yes, I do have friends.” She snapped. How the hell can you judge whether or not people will like me? You don't know everybody I know. Why wouldn't she trust me with her kid?" The one sided conversation caused the anger to rise in her voice. "That was just an accident. Children drown in the tub all of the time. Is this what you called me about?" Massaging her right temple Mona continued talking irritably.
"No, I didn't tell his mother. I never told anyone about that incident. Do you honestly think I would run around talking about something as horrible as that? You're supposed to be my therapist, not my parent. I was cleared of all charges. The baby was slippery and she fell out of my hands. How was I supposed to know that you aren't supposed to bathe a two month old in a large tub? I had never been around babies let alone ever gave one a bath. Anyway, I'm trying to get over the incident. As it is, I'll probably be scarred for life. I moved to this little town and changed my name to make the process easier.
As my therapist you are not helping me. I should never have given you the number. I should have gotten a new therapist or better yet, I should just live without one. Yes, I'm taking my medication. Right now it doesn't seem to be working. I have a pain in my head. No, that's not the problem. The problem is you. You're giving me a headache. Are you promising not to mention it again? Great, anyway, it won't happen with this one. He's not a baby." She leaned back in the chair and smiled into the receiver.
Slowly and muttering in a whisper all of the way, Brhin retraced his steps across the room and sat back in the chair.
I wanna go home.” He looked at the locks on the door and then the lady.” I wish I could open that door right now, but the locks are too high. She would stop me anyway. He thought sadly before dropping his head to the arm of the chair. “Whenever she leaves the room, I'm gonna call my momma.”
"Sweetie what's the matter? Aren't you hungry? Honey, go ahead and eat your nuggets."
Brhin looked up; the lady was walking towards him.
"I don't want it."
"You can leave it there. If you want I'll just turn on the television. Do you want to watch the cartoons?"
"I don't care. I just want to sit here," Brhin laid his head on the arm of the chair. "And wait for my momma. She is gonna come. I prayed for her and she'll be here. She knows where McDonald's is and she will find this house."
"I doubt it. Just sit there and quit talking about your mother. You will not be seeing her again. I am going into the other room to make your bed. Are you going to stay sitting right there?"
Refusing to answer her Brhin kept his head down and closed his eyes. Shrugging her shoulders and picking up a flat package from one of the cushions of the sofa, Mona left the room. She walked down the short hallway into the rear of the house and into a small bedroom. She looked around the room in satisfaction and pride. The small room was the only other bedroom in the house and she had designated it to Brhin.
From the matching car/truck motif on the wall paper border and comforter on the racing car shaped bed, and to the shelf of toys against the wall showed that the entire room had been decorated with a little boy in mind.
"Brhin will love it here. He'll be glad that I brought him home and he'll love this room when he sees it."
She danced around in her joy. Her every thought and action in decorating the room had been geared by thoughts of Brhin. From the very first sight of him, four months previously and every day since, Brhin had become her reason for living. The first time she saw him she had thought he seemed so cute putting in his breakfast order at the McDonald's across from her house.
That 'little redhead' (she refused to even think of the skinny little woman as his mother) h
ad been holding him at eye level to the cashier and he had stated his wishes in a clear concise manner. The cashier had giggled good-naturedly when Brhin insisted on ordering nuggets for breakfast and he had laughed along with her. Eaves dropping on their short conversation, she had gathered the information that Brhin and the cashier went through the same little drama every Saturday morning and she had silently chuckled along with them. Amused with the verbal exchange and entranced with the joy for life that the child exhibited, she had become enamored with him. From then on, it had become her business to be at the Mc Donald's on Saturdays when the 'little redhead' brought Brhin in for breakfast. She would sit in a different area and watch his every move.
It was hard to pinpoint the exact day that had made her decide she wanted the child as her own, but deep in her soul she had known. The need to have Brhin had gotten so absorbing that she knew there was no way she could live without him. Saturday became the only day in the week that gave her reason to go on.
There had never been anyone in her life to care about or who cared about her. Growing up, she had been an only child reared by an angry over protective father that was now dead. Her mother gave her up at birth and never returned to visit and her father never let her forget. As a child she was blamed for the fact her mother had run off. When she became older she found out she was not the biological child of the man she called father and that her mother had run away in fear from the horrendous physical and mental abuse. Why a woman would leave a child with such a man, was beyond her.
While she was growing up she promised herself she would have many babies and give them any and everything they wanted. She would give them lots of love and freedom to grow and enjoy themselves. Now that she had him, she would give Brhin anything he asked for. He would want for nothing.