by Ey Wade
Putting her down just enough so her feet touched the floor, Austin moved with her until she felt the wall on her back.
“What have you been thinking the last few years? Did you even have a thought about how I would feel if I found out I had a child? Did you even care? What happened to make you believe you could just close me out of everything?”
Catrine looked into Austin’s eyes and couldn’t think of a thing to say. She could see the hurt, but knew there just wasn’t anyway she could come up with any words that would right the things she had done.
“Austin, listen to me. I didn’t have the baby with the intention of never letting you be a part of his life. Time just passed so quickly and before I knew it a year had gone by and I didn’t know how to call and bring up the topic. I just didn’t know what to say.”
“You could have picked up the phone, dialed my number and said, Austin I have had your child. You could have called me this evening and told me you the child was missing. I just don’t understand what I did so wrong to make you believe I didn’t deserve to be a father.”
“Austin, I….”
Freezing at the knock on the door she let her gaze rest for just a moment on Austin’s face. "My sister is at the door for Christ's sake."
"You're damned lucky that she is. Things I would like to do to you should have no witnesses."
Giving her a look that promised more to come, he lowered her to the floor and released his grip, giving her shoulder a little push as he stepped around her with a scornful glance. Without saying a word, Austin walked into the living room.
Rubbing her shoulders, Catrine worried that her sister may have heard the conversation through the door. Taking a deep breath she pulled it open and threw herself into the arms of her sister. It seemed to Catrine as if Phae could take on the weight of the world. Phalene, standing at five-three, seemed to always be in complete control of the situation. Directing she and Catrine back through the door; Phae guided their steps from the foyer and into the living room, before pushing Catrine into the chair.
"I am sorry it took so long. There was an accident on the highway. Has something else happened?" Phalene pushed a tissue into Catrine's hands. "Did you talk to the police? Are they going to put out an Amber Alert?"
"Yes, yes I spoke to them. Yes, they are. It’s something they automatically do in cases like these." She wiped her nose. "Nothing else has happened. It's just that the officer I spoke with knew so many awful things about The P. S. Center."
"And he told you these 'things' tonight of all nights?"
"I asked. I wish I had known some of the things he told me before hand. The P. S. Center is bogus. I should have kept my baby at home."
"What did Mrs. Wall say?"
“Before I answer, there is someone here you should meet.”
Catrine pointed to the silent figure of Austin sitting on the corner of the desk behind Phae. Turning quickly Phalene looked from Austin back to Catrine with a questioning look.
“So, you called him?”
Austin pushed himself from the desk and sat on the chair facing the sofa on which Phalene was sitting. Resting an elbow on his knees and unbuttoning his suit jacket, Austin leaned forward and introduced himself.
"Hello, I am Austin Sanchez." He extended his hand across the space between them and Phalene shook it in response. "You were away when Catrine and I were seeing each other. Sorry it’s taken so long for us to be introduced. Your sister seems to get a kick out of keeping things to herself. Has there been any news from the kidnappers? And why aren't the police here? I thought that they would have been standing around, tapping the line, staking out the place like they have been doing mine. Or…." he paused for emphasis. "Did they figure I was the only person that they needed to question? Did you tell them to suspect me?" He stared at Catrine through squinted eyes.
"No, as infatuated as you are with yourself, I know you would see that as a good thing. But I didn't. I didn't want them to call you at all. They could have left you completely out of the picture."
"You should thank God that they didn't. I cannot believe that I have to go through something like this just to find out I’m a parent. How do you think I feel? I could have spent the last few years getting to know my son and now, only God knows if I will even get the chance."
Catrine massaged her temples and pointedly ignored him. She walked towards the sofa and stood behind Phalene's left shoulder.
"Forget it, Catrine." Austin's glare seemed to touch her across the small space. "You don't have to answer. All I want to know is have you heard anything from the kidnappers? Any ransom demands...anything?"
Phalene looked from Austin to Catrine before answering.
"Nothing from the kidnapper, but Catrine did call the Director of Brhin’s daycare center."
Throwing an accusing glare at Catrine, Austin questioned her harshly.
"Brian? That was my father's name. My son is named after my father?"
"I can't tell you what your son's name is, but my son's name is Brhin. Pronounced like 'fine'."
"Listen, Catrine I am hard put as it is to sit here and keep my hands off of you." he sat forward angrily. "Don't start anything and I won't finish it."
"Listen, Austin. You can go to hell. Don't come here making threats. I am in no more of the mood than you are. Just remember that I didn't ask you to come here."
Phae, shocked by the uncharacteristic way in which Catrine was acting and stunned by the anger and venom in the couple’s voices, did her best to change the subject.
“Let’s get back to the director. What did she say, Catrine?”
"She's worried about the reputation of her center and had asked me not to call the police."
"Is she an idiot or what?” Austin paced the room in quick irritated steps before perching back on the desk. “Are we supposed to care about that stupid place? Did she say she would do anything to help us find him?"
"We’re to meet her and her workers at the center." Catrine got up and paced the room. "Do I look as crazy as I feel?" Stopping in front of the mirror, she wiped her nose and the tears that were sliding down her face.
Phalene stared at her younger sister. Catrine, normally a very thin delicate built person and even thinner since becoming ill, was wearing purple leggings that clung to legs that seemed to have lost quite a bit of weight and a rugby styled oversized green sweater. She looked as if she were about to collapse from the strain of living with the very real possibility of losing her only child.
"You look fine. Get your coat and hat so that we can leave."
"Okay." Catrine took her coat from the closet and put it on.
"Button it up, for Christ's sake," Phalene snapped. "Do you want this cold of yours to turn into pneumonia?” Catrine ignored the briskness in Phae's voice as she automatically followed her orders. She had been snapped at by Phae all of her life. At least, from the time she made twelve and after the death of their mother. Since there had been no father around, eighteen-year old Phalene became both mother and father.
"No, Mother." Cat tried to smile. "I'm just so afraid. I don't want to be living in 'cases like these'." I just want my baby home and this nightmare to be over." She nervously forced the buttons through their holes and pulled on her gloves.
"I know how you feel. Grab your purse so we can leave."
Austin stood and adjusted his jacket.
“Shouldn’t you stay home? What if someone calls for a ransom or something?"
Do you think I'm doing the right thing about going to The Center, Phae? "
"I don't know. If it were I, I would go. I wouldn't be able to just sit and do nothing. I don't even know how you're handling this. I could barely control myself while driving here. I would go everywhere. I would be running up and down the streets like a mad woman right now wondering if my baby is being taken care of."
"That's exactly how I feel. I wonder if Brhin has his coat on. I wonder if he has eaten."
"We can only pray that the person who has hi
m is a decent individual."
"I know. Do you want me to drive?"
"No." Phae shuttered dramatically. "The way that your nerves are at the moment, I would never let you drive me around town in that little sports car and I sure as hell do not have the nerves to drive it myself. We'll take my SUV."
"Fine I don't want my car wrecked and I don't want to lose two of my loves on the same night."
“What about me? I want to go to the school and see who the person is that gave my child away.”
“Hey feel free to ride with us. That’s alright with you, Cat?”
“I don’t have a choice do I? Or you can just stay here and wait.”
“I can always drive my own car. Just know I’m not staying here. I’ve been left out of enough things.” Austin sounded irritated, but determined.
"Okay then let’s go. We will get Brhin back I just know it.”
As Phalene drove her SUV through the streets Catrine searched the empty sidewalks anxiously. The passing each block without any sight of Brhin, made the muscles of her stomach knot tighter and tighter.
"Phae, pull over." Catrine mumbled through the bile rising in her throat. “I think I'm going to be sick."
Catrine rolled down the window and put her head out so she could suck in deep cool breaths. The damp breeze on her face calmed her nerves and abated the queasiness that was attacking her stomach.
"Geeze, Cat. Hold on a minute." Phalene slid the car next to the curb and shoved the gear into park before jumping out and running around to the passenger side. "Breathe slowly. That's good. Do you want to go back home?"
Catrine swallowed hard a couple of times before answering. "No, I'm fine. I guess I shouldn’t have taken that drink." She pressed the heel of her palm into her eyes and held them there. "My head is killing me. I don't think I've ever felt this bad. Besides the headache, fever, coughing, and runny nose, my heart hurts. I just can't see my life without Brhin.” She looked over the back of the seat straight into the eyes of Austin. His stare unwavering. “I almost wish you did have him, Austin. At least I would know where he is. I would know that he was being taken care of. Who in the world could have gone to that center and taken him? What was the matter with those people at that center? I specifically wrote in my note that you would be there to get him. What was I thinking? What is wrong with me? My mind was to keep him home with me today and I didn't. He even asked me if he could stay home and I told him 'no'. I felt too ill to keep him and entertain him. I promised him that he could go home with you and play with your stupid dog Road kill. It made him happy and eased my mind. Why the hell was I so damned selfish?"
"Catrine, calm yourself. You were not being selfish you were just being ill. Brhin was better off being at The P. S. Center this morning. You were in no shape to care for him. And your cursing is not going to make it better. You gave up cursing and you have been doing really well without it. This is just another way for the devil to try and take away your joy. Don't give him the chance. Brhin will be back."
"I'm trying to believe that Phae I really am. Come on let's go. The sooner we get there the sooner we can get back here."
"You're right."
Phalene climbed back in the driver's side of the car, started the motor and quickly moved into the stream of the traffic. As she sped through the streets, Catrine resumed her search of the sidewalks.
It was really getting dark and the damp chill in the air had the few people that were out, scuttling quickly with heads bowed and hands in pockets. She prayed that she would see Brhin walking towards home. He knew the route from the house to The P.S. Center because they traveled it back and forth daily. They lived approximately ten blocks from the center. Riding the familiar streets, Catrine thought back on the first time she had heard about The Perfect Solution Child Care Center.
It had been a Friday evening seven months previously and she had just walked into the house and shut the door. She’d barely had time to drop her briefcase to the floor before Brhin hurled his solid little body into her arms.
"Momma, Linda says I'm goin' to school." He was smiling and jumping up and down with excitement. "She says I'll have lots of fun. Can I go? Can I go?"
Looking around Brhin's head, Catrine questioned the teenage girl standing in the living room doorway.
"What's this all about? Are you quitting, Linda?"
"Not right now. Not really. When I start college I won't be able to sit with Brhin as much as I do now and I just thought that it would be good for him to go to school, too. He will be able to hang around with other children. Learn how to share with others and such. He'll need the socializing skills by the time he goes to kindergarten. You know what I mean." She said when Catrine's only reaction was to smile at her. "I have taken care of him all of his life and I feel more than a little bit responsible for him."
Smiling at the nervous girl, Catrine walked into the living room and put Brhin on the floor before sitting in the nearest recliner. She stretched her legs out before her and leaned back in the chair.
"And did you already choose his school?" She gave Brhin a hug and kiss when he climbed into her lap.
"No, but I did check out a few. Some of them I didn't like at all. I wrote down this information," She took a sheet of notebook paper from the desk and handed it to Catrine. "From the two that I felt were the best. Brhin is such a smart little guy I thought it would be in his best interest if he were put somewhere that would teach him more. I don't mean to be pushy, but I think you should really look into this one." She continued talking when Catrine made no response. "The Perfect Solution Daycare Center is not too far from here and I would be able to get him from the center for you sometimes. It seems to be the best, though. It uses the Beka system to teach and there is a computer in each class from toddler to preschooler or what the director called pre-kindergarten. I don't know anyone that has or has ever had a child there, but I did talk to the director. She seems very nice.
The P. S. Center has been in the same location for the past five years. I also checked with the Department of Family and Protective Services about the childcare licensing and they have had no complaints on The P. S. Center. On the website I saw they have had a few marks against them for stuff like fillers for the first aid box, torn mats, minor things. On the website it tells you how long they have to rectify the problems and whether or not they did everything in a timely manner. My mom told me to look there. She says anyone wanting to put a child in public care in Texas should check this site." She added at the uplift of Catrine's brow.
Putting down the sheet of paper, Catrine looked at the girl sitting on the edge of the desk. Linda was right. She had been partly responsible for Brhin from his second month of life and had become an important part of hers and Brhin's lives. Linda was no longer the insecure child wearing braces and glasses. She was now a woman and Cat knew that she would only want the best for Brhin.
"What did you say your major in college would be?"
"I am going to be an attorney, the best."
"Well, Counselor you have just won your first case," Cat said, standing. "The Perfect Solution it will be. I am really going to miss having you around here. We both will."
"I'm not dying, you know. Sometimes I will baby-sit and when I'm not here, you can look at my picture. Not this one." Linda laid flat the picture of her younger self, pulled a frame from her purse and replaced it with a more mature version. "But this one," She said, smiling.
"This is impressive. The very 'grownup' you," Catrine smiled and hugged the younger girl. "Thank you. Well, let's go out and get something good to eat and celebrate."
Catrine remembered how excited she and Brhin had been once he had been enrolled at The Center. Brhin, delighted because he had felt it made him such a 'big' boy to be in school and she, pleased because The P. S. Center promised to be the perfect solution both in name and deed. It was in the perfect location, beautifully equipped, educationally oriented, and ideally staffed. At least that is how it seemed.
Returning to the present, Catrine continued staring out of the window. It was really dark. The streets were practically vacant. The weather was too cold and damp for a child to be left out. Praying that she would see him standing on a corner, she fought the urge to jump out of the car and run up and down the street calling his name. She could see the reflection of Austin sitting stiff and maudlin in the backseat and forced herself to close her mind to the pain in his eyes. She couldn’t face the fact she was responsible for his distress as well as her own. She would face that ownership later. Right now she could barely face the monster of today.
"How could they have given my child to a total stranger? How could they have been so careless? I wonder if he's crying for me. Is he cold? Is he hungry? Will I ever see him again?"
"Cat, let's not think like that. We'll have him back. I know we will. I feel it. There has been a giant misunderstanding. He'll be back."
"I hope so.
*****
“Mona Boots”
Brhin nervously sitting in the large overstuffed blue chair clutched his jacket close to his chest. He knew that he had never been in the house before and he was afraid. Knocking the heels of his tennis shoes on the frame of the chair, he looked around the room. The chair was the best looking piece of furniture in the room. The walls were painted pale blue and in some areas the stains on the walls were even more impressive than the pictures.
The furniture consisted of a dirty sofa, an end table, a small table, a folding chair sitting in front of it, a telephone sitting on its edge and the thread worn over stuffed blue arm chair that he was sitting on. Everything looked so old and unfamiliar. He wanted to go home and couldn't understand why she had brought him here.
"I don't know this house", he thought to himself, "And I sure don't know that lady."
Brhin studied the woman as she stood by the kitchen door. After she had carried him out of The P. S. Center he had struggled with her not to be put in her car, but she had been stronger. She pushed him onto the back seat and dragged the seat belt across his chest. As he hit out at her hands and face she had bat his swings away and forced the seat belt into its catch. As soon as she slammed the car's door, he unclipped the belt and tried to open the door, but it was locked. Reaching for the lock as quickly as he could, Brhin unlatched it and pulled the handle of the door.