The Lie

by Chad Kultgen

  “It’s the most bizarre deal ever, but it’s a deal.”

  After that conversation with Brett, I went back to McElvaney, to my room, and saw that Dave wasn’t around. I had been thinking about the second of truth the entire time I walked back, and I didn’t know where Brett heard about it or how he came up with it, and as insane as it sounded, I was curious. So I jerked off, and in the second after I came I really tried to think about Heather and how I felt. It was weird. Brett was right, everything did seem to make more sense, to be more clear. What I thought in that second was that I loved Heather more than any girl I had ever met or would meet. I didn’t know it then, but I was completely fucked.

  chapter eleven

  I got this text from Kyle saying he had something really important to tell me and I should come up to his room like as fast as possible. When I got up there he told me that he didn’t just get us into a homecoming party, he got us into one that was being thrown by Brett. I almost passed out. Seriously, that was probably the closest to being in love with Kyle that I had ever been up to that point. So I was like, “I love you,” but I wasn’t really sure that I actually did. I was just really happy and I knew it was something that he probably wanted to hear. Then he was like, “I love you, too,” and he really did mean it. I could tell. I knew he was going to want to talk about our relationship and being exclusive and everything if we both supposedly loved each other, but I didn’t really want to get into all of that with him and his weird roommate was gone, so I just blew him right there before he could say anything. I let him finish in my mouth, and then I asked him if Annie could come to Brett’s party and he said she could. I was so excited. I actually invited a few other girls from some of my classes who seemed cool and who had told me they were going to be rushing after Christmas. I figured Brett wouldn’t care.

  I don’t even remember who SMU was playing or anything. I don’t really like football and I don’t see why anyone does really. Other than people talking about the game, the party was literally the best party I had ever been to, up to that point.

  We got there like thirty minutes after it started because I didn’t want us to be the first ones there, even though Kyle was like, “Brett’s my best friend. It doesn’t matter if we show up four hours early. He’s not going to care.” Whatever. Even though Brett was a freshman, he was still Brett Keller and that meant there could be sophomores or other upperclassmen at his party. I couldn’t have other girls who were already Kappas or Pi Phis walking in and thinking I had been the first one there. Kyle just didn’t get it.

  Even though we got there half an hour after it started, we were still like some of the first people there, which wasn’t actually as bad as I thought it was going to be. Kyle introduced me to Brett’s dad, who was a total silver fox. Seriously, you could totally tell Brett was going to be a really hot older guy. His dad was really into talking about the football game with Kyle and everything, and I wanted him to like me, so I pretended to be really into whatever he was saying. I think he liked me.

  Then I met Brett’s stepmom. She was about as into the whole football thing as I was, and I think she could sense it, so she was like, “Heather, I know I’m bored out of my mind listening to this. Would you like a tour of the house?”

  I was like, “Um, sure.” I didn’t want it to seem like I was way overeager or anything, you know, so Brett’s dad wouldn’t be offended like I was bailing on his football conversation, but I did really want to see the house.

  It was seriously insane. It was in Highland Park, of course. It was like the biggest house I’ve probably ever been inside of. I can’t even tell you how many rooms it had or anything. It was that huge. And every room had really nice furniture and everything. I mean it was exactly what I expected his house to look like. I got to see Brett’s room. I imagined what it would be like to wake up in his room with him. Then I imagined what it would be like to be married to him and know that this huge house was half yours. As I was thinking that, I actually realized that I had never even been to Kyle’s house or even really thought about what it might look like—not as nice as Brett’s. That’s for sure.

  After Brett’s stepmom gave me the tour, she took me back out into one of the living rooms where Kyle and Brett were talking. The party had started to fill out a little more. I saw that guy Collin Davis standing over by the fireplace and hoped he didn’t remember me from the double blowjob with Annie—or, if he did remember me, I hoped he wouldn’t like come up to me and say something shitty in front of Kyle or Brett.

  There were a few girls wearing their sorority sweatshirts—a few Chi-Os, a few DGs, a few fat Alpha Chis. No Kappas and no Pi Phis that I could see at first, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. I mean Brett was a freshman, so the fact that any girls who were already in sororities were there was pretty impressive.

  Other than Collin Davis, there were a bunch of guys from different frats there, too. They all seemed to be waiting like vultures to talk to Brett’s dad. I think they were mainly talking about the game, but sometimes I could hear them talking about their dads and business stuff that I could care less about. There were a few old guys there, too, who were wearing ATO stuff. I guess Brett’s dad was an ATO when he went to SMU. I wondered if Brett was going to be an ATO, too, because of his dad. I mean they were still kind of cool, but probably not like they were when Brett’s dad was in school. Brett seemed more like he belonged in Pike.

  It was probably like a few hours into the party and I was seriously drunk. I kind of felt like I was going to puke, which I seriously did not want to do at Brett Keller’s house, so I found Kyle and I was like, “Hey, is there a guest bedroom or something somewhere?”

  He was like, “Yeah.”

  So he took me upstairs to a part of the house that I didn’t really remember Brett’s stepmom showing me, but it might have been because I was so drunk I couldn’t remember, I had no idea. He opened a door and we went into a room that was bigger than even my mom’s bedroom in our house, and it was just a guest room.

  Kyle was like, “Are you okay?”

  I guess he could tell I was drunk but I didn’t want him to know that I felt like I had to puke, because he might tell Brett and that would be fucking horrible. So I was just like, “Yeah, I just wanted to spend a little alone time with you.”

  I figured I could give him a quick blowjob or something and maybe he would pass out and I could pass out with him and hopefully not puke in my sleep.

  So we started kissing and everything, and I don’t know if it was because I was drunk or because I was in Brett Keller’s house or what the deal was but all of a sudden I was seriously horny for Kyle. Maybe it had something to do with him getting me into the party or something. I don’t know, but in that moment I think I really did love him.

  So I was like, “Kyle, I love you.”

  And he was like, “I love you, too.”

  And again, I could tell he really meant it, like in a way that was like he would do anything for me. So instead of giving him a blowjob I took off my clothes and I took off his clothes and we had sex in Brett Keller’s guest room bed.

  And I guess he was kind of drunk, too, because he never even paused for a second to ask if we should be using a condom, which he usually does. I was seriously too drunk to even think about it, and in the moment I really was only thinking about how much I thought I loved him. And I also remember thinking that I was surprised at how good he was at sex. I know by that point we had had sex like a lot, and pretty much in every position you could think of, but I was seriously drunk. And usually when I’m that drunk I can’t even make myself cum with a vibrator or anything. But he still could.

  Then after he finished we just lay there and I didn’t feel as drunk. I mean, I was drunk, but I didn’t feel like I was going to puke anymore. I just kind of felt good all over. Then Kyle was like, “We didn’t use anything.”

  And that was the first time I really thought about it. I was like, “It’s fine. I’ll go to the health center tomorrow mo
rning and get the morning-after pill.”

  He was like, “That’s all you need to do?”

  I was like, “Uh, yeah.” I’ve done it like a million times, but I didn’t want to tell him that, so I didn’t.

  Then we just kind of fell asleep. It was really nice. We woke up maybe like an hour later, put our clothes back on, and went back down to the party. I saw Annie for the first time that night. She was being cornered by that guy Collin Davis. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I went over to her to try and rescue her from the conversation.

  Collin was like, “Hey, the other half of the dynamic duo.”

  And I was positive that he was going to say something about the double blowjob right in front of Kyle, whose hand I was still holding and who I just kind of realized I actually loved.

  Then Collin noticed that I was holding his hand and he was like, “Now how in the hell did a chump like you land a dick-sucking machine like this?”

  Kyle was like, “Excuse me?”

  Collin was a total dick. He was like, “What’s your name?”

  Kyle was like, “Kyle.”

  Collin was like, “What are you doing at this party, Kyle?”

  Kyle was like, “A friend of mine’s throwing it.”

  Collin was like, “Oh really. You’re friends with Brett Keller?”

  And then, before Kyle could say anything, Brett came up behind him and put his arm around him and was like, “I’d say he’s more like my best friend, douchebag. Now who in the fuck are you?”

  Collin looked like a deer in headlights. It was seriously hilarious. He was like, “Oh hey, Brett, my name’s Collin Davis.”

  And Brett was like, “I know your fucking name, asshole. The question was meant to be deeper. Who in the fuck are you, metaphorically speaking? Are you the asshole who sucks up to my father because he wants a job at his company after graduation? Are you the asshole who sucks up to me because he wants to keep getting invited to parties like this? Or are you the asshole who just insulted my best friend because he didn’t know any better?”

  Collin was like, “I’m sorry, Brett, I didn’t know you guys were friends. I thought he was just some random guy.”

  Brett was like, “Well now that you know Kyle’s my friend, I think you owe him an apology.”

  Collin was like, “Sorry, man.”

  Kyle was like, “Don’t worry about it.”

  I liked that Kyle wasn’t all agro and everything. It was a cool quality that he had. But I wished he would have been a little more like Brett and told Collin to fuck off or something.

  So after all that, Annie actually ended up going back to Collin’s place with him that night and letting him fuck her in the ass. But supposedly he couldn’t stay hard long enough to finish. And supposedly he blamed it on how drunk he was, but I think it probably had something to with how Brett made him look like a retard.

  Anyway, other than that minor thing, the rest of the party was really fun and I didn’t end up as drunk as I thought I was going to be. After we left the party, Kyle slept with me in my room because his roommate was in his room and we saw Annie leave with Collin so I knew she wouldn’t be back until the morning.

  The next morning I woke up before Kyle and just kind of looked at him while he was sleeping. I really did love him. I snuggled up to him and just went back to sleep until he woke up at like noon or something and wanted to go get breakfast, which we did.

  At breakfast I actually initiated the conversation with Kyle about us being exclusive. I know I had gotten into a relationship with him because I thought it might get me closer to Brett, which it did, but I was okay with us not seeing other people. I didn’t want to have to deal with guys like Collin Davis anymore. Kyle was a good boyfriend and I guess I recognized that. He was about as happy as I’ve ever seen a guy. He leaned across the table over our eggs and pancakes and kissed me and told me he loved me.

  I guess that conversation had both of us thinking about other things because we left breakfast and went back to my room and had sex again without a condom and it wasn’t until the next morning that I remembered we had sex at Brett’s party and I forgot to get the morning-after pill the next day, which is really out of character for me. I didn’t tell Kyle because I didn’t want him to worry and most likely I wasn’t pregnant anyway—I mean, I had my period like the week before.

  chapter twelve

  The morning after the homecoming party I was coerced into throwing by my supposed best friend, Kyle, the voices of my father and stepmother were audible enough to wake me up. My room overlooked one of our back patio areas, so I got out of bed and went to my balcony. They were having breakfast together, which was abnormal.

  As I turned to go back into my room, thinking about joining them for breakfast, having some strange need to participate in this rare family moment, I raised my right hand close enough to my face to smell the asshole of the naked girl who was still passed out in my bed. Normally I would have made her get up, perform one last act of sexual humiliation, and then I would have introduced her to my stepmother as the “girl I filled with semen last night.” But, again, I felt some strange need to be a part of this genuine family moment. So I recognized that this nameless whore was in such a deep state of unconsciousness that I could easily creep out of my room undetected and avoid dealing with her altogether, which is exactly what I did. I assumed she would wake up at some point in the next few hours, realize that my absence was her cue to exit as quickly as possible, gather her belongings, and leave.

  When I got downstairs and out onto the patio I was almost happy about sitting down to breakfast with my father and stepmother. They rarely did anything together when they were both in Dallas simultaneously. Most often my father would be at work and my stepmother would be out wasting the money he was making.

  I poured myself a glass of orange juice, realizing that I was actually too hungover to eat. My father started up a conversation with me about the game, which I had managed to miss every second of despite the fact that he had paid a large sum of money to be able to show a closed-circuit broadcast of the game at the party on ten seventy-inch televisions throughout the house. He also mentioned meeting several of my “friends” and went on to say that many of them seemed like they’d make great junior sales executives at Keller Shipping when they graduated. I was unsure if he was telling me this information because he was thinking of hiring them himself, or if he wanted my first task as an employee of Keller Shipping, upon my own graduation, to be the hiring of these douchebags.

  I realized too late that sitting down was a mistake and that whatever semblance of family interaction might have drawn me into this was fleeting at best. My stepmother brought up how much she liked Kyle’s girlfriend. It wasn’t hard to see why she would have liked Heather. They were essentially the same person separated by twenty years—superficial money-grubbing sluts who would fuck any man they met if he offered the slightest possibility of elevating their material status. My stepmother further inquired as to why I let Kyle land “that girl” when I could have usurped her from him. When I told her I would never do that to my best friend, she said something about friendships coming and going but love lasting forever.

  She went on to probe my relationship “situation” and assured me that although Kyle might have gotten that specific girl, there were probably others at SMU who were similar enough to make suitable wives. I wanted to tell the horrible cunt that I had found a girl who was every bit as nice and charming as Heather. I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t remember the girl’s name but I could remember that she gave a slightly better-than-average blowjob, and let me fuck her in the ass and then slap my dick across her face for five minutes before she jerked me off all over herself. I further wanted to tell her that this angel was sound asleep upstairs in my bedroom with my dried semen all over her face and tits. I also wanted to tell her that this nameless collection of holes allowed me to put my dick in every one of them because she knew it gave her a slight chance to acquire a pi
ece of what my family had to offer, much the same way I was sure my stepmother had allowed my father to do all the same things to her for the same reason. I held back this information, though, and maintained that my special girl was out there somewhere, I just hadn’t met her yet. I said this in some part because I knew my father was listening and it would placate him to know that I was following the grand pattern that had been laid out even before him by his own father. But more than that, I said it to successfully end the conversation.

  I sat at the table sipping my orange juice for what must have been five more minutes or so. The next person to initiate conversation was the girl from my bedroom, who had found her way downstairs and onto the patio where we were having breakfast. She apologized for interrupting, which was considerate, and then thanked my father for throwing the party and thanked me for a “wonderful time last night.” Her disheveled hair, incorrectly buttoned blouse, and general mauled appearance made it more than clear that I had done every vile thing imaginable to her the night before. I would also add that some of the specifics of the previous night’s activities were most likely made obvious by her walk toward the table. Her gait was more than somewhat labored, appearing unusual to anyone who saw her walk, due to the amount of time I had my dick and fingers in her ass the night prior. My back was to her when she approached the table, but later when I actually saw her walking I noticed very clearly that significant discomfort, if not outright pain, was radiating from her asshole with every step.

  The girl lingered for a moment, and I realized that she might have been too hungover to remember where the front door was, so I indicated its general direction with a head nod and told her I had her number and would call her later in the day, both of which were lies.

  I was surprised at my stepmother’s general lack of outrage in the situation. My father had witnessed more than his fair share of sluts I had discarded leaving the house the next morning. His acceptance of this whore’s intrusion into our little family moment that morning was expected. I wouldn’t say my stepmother had been blind to the fact that I indulged in treating girls with disregard, even contempt, and viewed them only as a means to sate my carnal impulses. However, she hadn’t been face-to-face with one of the objects of my cock’s momentary attention very often. The other two times I can remember, my stepmother literally looked the other way and pretended not to see the girls. In this case, she was forced to deal with the evidence of my disdain for her own gender because it was interrupting our breakfast.