“You’re still you.” Ryan moved around Brian’s bed and went to pour him a cup of ice water.
Brian took two sips before returning the cup to his father. “Now I understand how Karlie felt. My heart is ripping out of my chest. I feel like I’m on a crashing plane with no parachute.”
Ryan hugged him tight before releasing him. “You’re an Oakes. You will recover.” There was no doubt in Ryan’s words. His father sounded sure in Brian’s capabilities.
Brian wanted to howl and wail, but he soaked in some of Ryan’s optimism. Hearing his father call him an Oakes strengthened him. He swallowed his tears and lifted his chin. “Does Karlie know?”
Ryan nodded and grinned. “Yes, she found out when I did. I wondered when you would get around to realizing you’re free to date my daughter.”
Chapter Forty-four
It was all a little too convenient for Brian’s liking that he was not Ryan’s son and was free to be with Karlie. If this were a soap opera, Brian would be applauding with the rest of them, but this was his life.
Brian sighed as he looked around the walls of his home and despised his confinement.
If it were not for the long recovery ahead of him, Brian would not be here. His mother had put in for FMLA to care for him, and Brian tolerated her presence. For the past six weeks, he had been the center of her world. . . when she was not secretly entertaining Dr. Tim Newhouse, the physician who had saved his life.
Brian wondered if Patricia thought he was stupid. He heard the nighttime giggles as she sneaked Tim into their home. Brian could not carry on a decent conversation with his mother knowing how she was conducting herself. He did not hate Patricia, but she had broken his heart with her revelation. It wasn’t every day a son learned his mother was a recovering sex addict.
He had learned that by accident on one of the days Ryan had stopped in to check on him.
Ryan and Patricia had been embroiled in an argument, and Brian had hobbled out on crutches to beg them to stop.
“I can’t stay married to a sex addict!” Ryan had shouted. “I think it’s a disgusting excuse for you to sleep around with a clear conscience.”
“Please stop fighting,” Brian had said, and then Ryan’s words registered. Sex addict? He looked at his mother with disbelief. Now he knew what Ryan had meant by issues.
“Brian, this isn’t what it sounds like,” Patricia pleaded.
“Then what is it supposed to sound like?” he asked. “Explain it to me.”
Her lips quivered. “Sex addiction is a real problem. It’s not an excuse. I thought I was delivered, but then, I was under so much pressure. Your father wasn’t the same, and things between us were not the same. I am only using Tim for now. It’s a need. I can’t help it.”
Brian blinked. “Are you listening to yourself?”
“You’re good at research,” Patricia said, wringing her hands. “If you look up the recent studies, you’ll see I’m not lying. Look up Sex Addicts Anonymous. I’ll be going to meetings again. Honey, I’ll be better soon. I promise. It’s not the way your father is making it sound. You’re a grown-up and maybe this is good you’ve found out.”
Brian had heard enough. He headed back to his room, slamming the door with finality. There was a time when he wished his parents would argue instead of making love all the time. How he wished to have those old days back again. My parents are at war, and I’m living in a battlefield.
He only found peace and comfort when he read the Bible. Karlie sent him Neil’s taped sermons, and Brian enjoyed the Word.
Neither of his parents attended church anymore. Patricia was busy with her trysts, and Ryan looked haunted by something.
Brian did not care enough to ask.
Thank God for Karlie. She had stood by his side through surgery and came to visit him daily. They shared jokes and laughter, but neither addressed the big question: What is going to happen next?
After all the pining of his heart, it would seem logical that Brian would jump to be with Karlie, but he was confused and shaken. He saw the question in Karlie’s eyes and was grateful she did not push. Brian knew how he felt about her but had needed to tackle his recovery . . . his parents . . . his soul . . . everything.
Brian heard a knock on his door. Expecting Karlie, he adjusted his clothes and called out, “Come in.”
Neil entered.
“Neil?”
“Karlie figured you needed to speak with someone,” Neil said. He came into the room and greeted Brian with a brief hug before shaking his hand.
Brian crooked his head toward the chair.
Neil settled in and undid his jacket. It was October, and the temperatures were in the low seventies. “How’ve you been?”
Where should Brian begin? “My physical recovery is going better than expected. I should be back to myself in two weeks. I can’t wait. I’m moving out of here as soon as I can.”
Neil nodded. “What about your emotional recovery?”
Brian knew Karlie had filled Neil in on his current situation. “It isn’t easy watching your parents fight nonstop. I’m coming to terms with that while trying to cope with the fact that Ryan isn’t my father.”
“I’ve had some experience with that, as you know,” Neil said. “I can say that it is difficult, but you can get through this. You have Karlie and you have me if you need me.”
Brian appreciated the offer. “I have been seeing a therapist.”
“That’s great. And I know you’ve been listening to the sermons. Healing takes time. You will get through.” Neil tapped his chin. “Now let me address the real reason behind my visit.”
Brian sat up. He knew Neil did not come to exchange small talk.
“Karlie’s in limbo. How do you feel about her?”
“I love her. Love her like I’ve never loved anyone,” Brian said.
“Have you told her that?” Neil asked. “I know I’m prying, but Karlie means the world to me. I want what’s best for her.”
Brian nodded. “I do too. I’m not sure I’m that person. My life is . . . complicated. I’m all . . .” He found it hard to believe he was at a loss for words. “I don’t deserve her. I’m not worthy of her.”
Neil laughed. “Perfect. I’m glad to hear you say that.”
Brian squinted his eyes. Had Neil gone crazy? “How’s that perfect?”
“A man who feels he isn’t worthy of a woman will treasure her. He’ll be the best for her and do all he can to keep her.”
Wise words. “Karlie is all that’s good and pure and I’m. . . I’m . . .” Brian shook his head.
“Karlie isn’t perfect. No woman is. But she does have a good heart, and her heart is waiting on you.” Neil stood. “I’ve interfered enough. She’d kill me if she knew I said anything to you. A father can only take so much moping without stepping in.”
Brian smiled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“Let’s pray,” Neil said. “That way, I won’t be telling her an untruth.”
Brian and Neil held hands. The older man prayed for him with such earnestness that Brian could only open his eyes to stare at him. Here was a man of God. There were genuine Christians out there. Knowing that gave him courage.
“I’d be honored to welcome you as a son,” Neil said before he left. “You’re a fine young man, Brian. God has made you worthy.”
Brian’s heart expanded at the words. He knew God had used Neil to speak to him. Brian opened the Bible he kept beside him on a nightstand. He saw the note he had written about Matthew 13. Oh yeah. He had been meaning to revisit this passage. Brian opened the Bible and flipped through the pages until he located the scripture.
He devoured the parable of The Sower and the Seed. Neil had said each type of ground where the seed fell represented a person. A chill ran up Brian’s spine as God opened his eyes.
The first seed fell on the wayside. Jesus said this represented those whom the wicked one snatched away.
Brian saw Jamaal. The devil had captu
red Jamaal’s heart and turned him away from God because of women. Jamaal’s flesh had overridden his love for God.
The second seed fell on stony ground. This person heard the Word and received it with joy, but once persecution arose, this person endured it only for a while.
Brian knew this was his mother. Patricia loved rejoicing and praising God, and she still did. But she couldn’t endure the sacrifice serving God required.
Ryan was definitely the thorns choked by the need for worldly riches. All Ryan talked about was making money. His conversations with Brian revolved around Brian entering the business with him. Ryan had turned his mind from God, becoming rigid and unforgiving as he pursued wealth.
Brian read about good ground in verse 23: “But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it: which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”
Or one. Brian smiled. Karlie had been the good seed. She prayed for him, stood by him, and loved him. He knew that without them exchanging the words.
His heart lightened, and Brian closed his eyes.
He heard a knock on his door. “Come in, Karlie,” he said, knowing it wouldn’t be anyone else.
Karlie poked her head in. “Are you decent?”
I am now. He chuckled. “Yes, why else would I say to come in?”
Karlie moseyed into the room and dropped into the same chair Neil had vacated earlier. “Did my father come see you?”
“Yes,” Brian said. “He encouraged me and prayed for me.”
She nodded. “My father’s the best. He likes you, you know.”
“I know,” Brian said. It did feel good knowing his future father-in-law approved of him.
Wait.
Brian was getting ahead of himself. He had to ask Karlie first. Though they were both young, Brian knew he wasn’t going to be in a long, drawn-out courtship with her.
“I’m moving out,” Karlie said. “I’m thinking about moving into my mother’s home.”
Brian’s head shot up. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?” she asked. She moved to the edge of the chair.
“Because we’re going to find our place together.”
She blinked. “I’m not moving in with a man I’m not married to. You’d better get your head checked.”
Brian crooked his finger, signaling for her to come closer.
Karlie came over to sit next to him on the bed.
“Karlie Knightly, I am in love with you. Will you marry me?”
Her mouth popped open. “But . . . we’re young. You have school, and I’m working on the album. And what about the show? We postponed it until the spring, but—”
Brian silenced her by taking her hand. “I am in love with you. Will you marry me?”
“We haven’t even kissed,” Karlie whispered. “What if we’re imagining these emotions and what we thought was chemistry wasn’t, but we were just caught up in a—”
Oh, for the love of . . .
Brian grabbed Karlie and kissed her full on the lips. Fiery heat filled his fingertips. His breathing escalated, and his heart pumped as he poured every ounce of feeling he had into the kiss.
Before he knew it, Karlie was sprawled between his good leg and his bandaged leg. Brian trailed kisses along her ear. He gently undid the clasp holding her luxurious curls at bay. He allowed his fingers to roam through her curls. Her sigh filled him with intense satisfaction.
He found her lips and drank in the taste of them like a man who had been without water for days. When he felt her hand venture into dangerous territory, Brian tore his lips from hers. “No, Karlie. We’ll have plenty of time for that on our honeymoon.”
Karlie’s eyes filled with desire and passion. She licked her lips and moved her face closer to his. Brian suppressed a grin and covered her mouth. He was going to have a greedy bride if she agreed to marry him.
“Still wondering about chemistry?” he teased.
Karlie shook her head. She was out of breath and wore a dazed expression on her face.
Brian watched her chest heave. He was experienced enough to know if he wanted her right here, right now, Karlie would give in, but he would not do that to her. Even if it killed him, Brian would wait for their wedding day.
Karlie abruptly kissed him and rocked her body close to his. It shocked but exulted him because he knew this wasn’t Karlie’s normal behavior. Brian knew it was going to kill him to wait, but he gently pushed her from him. “No, love. We’re going to do this right. I am in love with you. Karlie Knightly, will you marry me?”
“I love you too, Brian,” Karlie replied.
Finally. Brian had been waiting for those three words.
She cupped his face with her hands and spread kisses all over it. “Let’s get married.”
For the first time in forever, Brian smiled. “Forget the show. You’re all the adventure I need. Let’s plan a wedding instead.”
Chapter Forty-five
“His name is Kyle Manchester,” Patricia said. This was her second time saying these words. The first had been to Brian who had finally asked who his father was.
Brian had given her a terse nod before saying, “Glad you know his name.”
Though Patricia knew why he said it, it stung. Sexual addiction was a real illness, but it had a nasty stigma attached to it. That’s why she never told anyone she had it.
Now she stood squaring off with Ryan, who had waylaid her in her office.
“Please tell me I heard you wrong,” he said. “Are you saying Brian is Kyle Manchester’s son?”
Patricia nodded.
She wrinkled her nose. “I think he’s some big-time attorney.”
“Will my humiliation know no end?” Ryan shoved divorce documents into her hands. “Kyle Manchester was the leading attorney in the case against me. The one with Jackson Higgins.”
Patricia eyes widened. “I didn’t know.”
“That’s because you were too busy squirming under Tim and tripping over some twins to care about me or anyone else.”
Patricia felt chilled to the core. “Anna and Alyssa were fighting for their lives. That’s important.”
“Did they survive?” he asked.
Patricia shook her head. “No. Anna didn’t make it. She had a seizure from which she didn’t recover. Alyssa hung on, but she passed a few days later.”
“I’m sorry, Patricia. I didn’t know.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I spent weeks with a counselor, and I’ve learned to accept what was in God’s will. Anna and Alyssa are reunited. I’m sure God’s got them. I’m sad this is the story of our lives, now, where we don’t know what’s going on with one another. There was a time when we were each other’s breaths.”
Ryan pinned her with a gaze. For a moment, time stood still as each revisited pages of their past. Maybe . . .
Patricia took a tentative step toward him, but Ryan moved back. “Too much has happened. You’ve done too much. I’ve done . . .” He shook his head. “We both have to live with what we’ve done.” Ryan pointed to the papers, which had now fallen forgotten to the floor. “Sign them. Let’s be done with it.”
Ryan left, leaving Patricia to pick up the pieces of the past.
With each step away from Patricia’s office, he said good-bye to the woman he had sworn to love always. By the time, he entered his Navigator, Ryan had managed to push Patricia completely from his mind.
He had another stop to make before flying to New Hampshire for his quickie divorce.
Ryan started up the Navigator and drove a short distance until he pulled in front of the Higgins residence. He straightened his spine.
He exited the vehicle clutching the cashier’s check he had for Megan Higgins, Jackson’s wife. She had been the one who had discovered Jackson hanging in their bedroom closet.
Jackson’s death had made the news. Kyle Manchester had seen to that. Kyle had called Ryan with the news, intimating Ryan
was behind Jackson’s murder. Kyle had vowed to bring him to justice.
Ryan had denied, denied, denied. After all, Frank had been careful. There was nothing or no one to link Ryan to the murder. If it had been one. The coroner had said Jackson committed suicide, and Ryan wasn’t about to argue with that.
But if it was suicide, why couldn’t Ryan let the matter rest? Guilt rode him. He questioned the wisdom of settling his conscience by offering Megan Higgins money.
Seven million dollars was nothing to sneeze at. He had the certified check to give to Jackson’s widow. Since Megan Higgins was on the mend, the money would see her far. Ryan ran up the steps and pressed the doorbell.
He saw the door crack open and looked down at Megan, who was barely five feet tall. She was dark-skinned with jet-black, shoulder-length hair. She lifted warm brown eyes to his face.
Ryan’s heart tripped at the sight of her. His mouth went dry. Oh no. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not with her.
“Megan Higgins?” he croaked. Please, don’t let this be her.
She scratched her button of a nose before nodding. “I’m Megan.” She covered her pink lips with her finger. “The baby’s sleeping.”
Then Megan smiled. It was a bright, big smile that revealed the prettiest set of teeth he had ever seen. Ryan’s breath caught. Sensations rocked him. Ryan had only felt this once before in his life. He had fallen in love with Patricia at first sight. Many doubted it, but Ryan knew from personal experience that instant love like that was possible. He resisted the urge to drop to his knees and ask for Megan’s hand in marriage.
“I’m Ryan Oakes,” he said.
“I know who you are,” she replied, appraising him from head to toe. “You’re better looking on TV than in person.”
He stuck out his hand because he needed to make physical contact.
She placed her small hand in his, and then raised trusting eyes to look at him.
He almost jumped out of his skin. Ryan snatched his hand away. “I’m surprised you’re talking to me.”
She blessed him with a knowing grin. “I’m willing to bet everything I have that you came here with a check for me.”
Ryan realized that underneath those long lashes was a cunning, sharp, savvy woman. “How do you know that?”
My Soul Then Sings Page 24