Inspired by Magic

by Katy Haye

  “I understand.” Essa looked as though her own heart was breaking. “Loyalty to your family isn’t wrong.” She looked at me as she said that.

  “No, it’s not wrong.” Axxon spoke slowly.

  “I’ll help you find your father now,” Essa promised. “Come along.” She righted the chair and sat Leea down on it. Leea blotted her cheeks against the sleeve of her dress.

  “What is your father’s name?”

  “My father is Gern. And my brother went with him. He is Geedan.”

  Memories swooped around me as all the links suddenly connected in my head. For a moment, I was back in the Emperor’s audience chamber. “Wait – your father and brother both went to serve the Emperor?” I demanded, stepping forward to brace my hands against the table to face Leea. When she’d talked of ‘they’ I thought she’d meant the servants who would have accompanied the head of the family. Two noble people, father and son, offering their magic to the Emperor…

  That was why Leea looked familiar – I’d seen her father and her brother standing before the Emperor and being robbed of their magic. Now I knew, it was obvious: her jawline and the shade of her hair was identical to that of her sire and her brother. “He stole their magic,” I blurted.

  Leea’s attention shifted from Essa to me. “What?” Her face paled. Her hands linked, clenching nervously.

  “I saw them.” I glanced at Essa. She nodded, remembering the moment from whatever her enchanted perspective had been. “They reached the citadel. The Emperor heard their offer.” I swallowed. I wished I didn’t have to say the next part. I didn’t like Leea, but I knew how it felt to lose your family. “And then he stole their magic.”

  Leea gasped. “You’re mistaken. My father is Gern of Baloa. The Emperor wouldn’t…” But the fear in her eyes showed that while her mind might protest the ruthlessness of the Emperor, her heart knew what he was capable of.

  “I’m sorry. I saw it happen.”

  Leea rose, her legs pushing the chair back. It clattered to the floor again; the noise loud in the silence. I sensed the kings behind me, while Essa’s horrified face echoed Leea’s expression. I expected more tears, but as Leea faced me, it was fury that coloured her cheeks. “You saw it happen?” she asked slowly, biting off each word as it left her tongue. “You watched? And didn’t stop him? Aren’t you supposed to be the guardian?” I barely saw the flash of blue around her hands before Leea launched herself at me, muttering the words of a spell as her fingers grabbed for my throat, the violence of her attack taking me by surprise.

  The moment she touched me, Leea collapsed like a cloth doll. She dropped to the floor, her head giving a loud crack as it met the oak boards. I staggered backwards. My head hit the wall and black clouded my vision. I felt myself sliding. Then nothing.

  Chapter Twelve

  I opened my eyes. My vision was blurry, but my situation was clear enough. I was in bed. In the middle of the day. That was wrong. There must be work to be done. There always was.

  I shuffled up in the luxurious bed, halting when my head ached. I felt as though I’d hit a wall.

  “Kyann? How do you feel?”

  I blinked and the near distance came into focus. Vashri was sitting beside my bed. As I looked around, the other three kings drew closer from the places where they’d been waiting elsewhere in the room. I was in the chamber I’d been sharing with Essa, but my sister was nowhere in sight.

  I took in my surroundings, remembering the events of the last few days. The kings. Essa being stolen by the Emperor’s troops, and freed by me. I remembered arriving at the Baloa family’s castle. And then I remembered Leea casting a spell on me and collapsing. I sat up. My head swam. “I have a headache,” I said, reaching to the spot at the back of my head that was sorest. “How is Leea?”

  Rey answered. “Essa is with her. She hasn’t awoken yet.”

  Fon chuckled in the background. “She won’t be messing with you again, though. That was something to see, Kyann!”

  I frowned and turned my head carefully to look at the king of fire. “What do you mean?” I remembered what had happened. Leea had tried to attack me, saying I should have protected her father and brother from the Emperor. “You used magic,” I said. It must have been the kings – who else could it be? My gaze shifted again. “Rey, was it you?” I tried to smile, although moving my face made my head ache worse. “Maybe a little less force next time.”

  “It wasn’t me.” Rey reached from the other side of the bed, taking my hand.

  “It was all down to you,” Fon said. He stood at the foot of the bed, grinning down at me. “Leea tried to attack you, but she won’t be trying that again.”

  I closed my eyes and saw her drop in my memory. I winced as I heard the thud of her head meeting the floor. “I did that?”

  Rey squeezed my hand. “Yes. Did you mean to?”

  My eyes flew open. “No, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to hurt her!” Leea was irritating, and I was angry she’d kept the Tears of Giera from us, but even if she’d attacked me, that didn’t justify what I’d done.

  “Shh.” Axxon pressed close to comfort me. “It was an accident. A primal response.” He glared at Fon.

  “What did I even do?” I’d pushed her away, but I wasn’t that strong.

  “We think we may have uncovered your true abilities as guardian,” Rey said calmly, his fingers stroking the back of my hand. The gesture was soothing. And I wanted to be soothed. I didn’t want to hear that I was a violent psychopath.

  “Making our enemies collapse?” I tried to joke. I kept my eyes on Rey’s fingers because if I closed them I saw Leea’s lifeless body dropping to the floor.

  “You responded instinctively to a threat,” Fon said. “Or to be more accurate – your magic reacted instinctively to a threat.”

  “But I don’t have magic.”

  “You definitely do, it’s simply very different from that of anyone else,” Rey said. The other kings remained silent, but I felt their attention on me and Rey. Had they discussed all this while I slept? “You appear to be able to absorb magic. From almost any source. When Leea tried to use magic against you, you absorbed it so she couldn’t.”

  “Do you remember that you were able to take the Tears of Giera from its hiding place?” Axxon took up the explanation.

  “Yes.” My voice was hollow. I wished I could deny it, but I’d destroyed Essa’s magic, too. I swallowed. Was I dangerous? That was a stupid question. I already knew the answer was yes. Leea was testament to that.

  “The shield spell that protected the gem was ancient magic. It should only have been possible for someone with the blood of the Baloa family to remove the gem. That’s why Rey and I couldn’t take it. But when you reached forward, your magic neutralised the spell. It’s entirely possible there’s no magic strong enough to affect you.” Axxon was smiling, but I couldn’t see much to be happy about.

  “But why did she collapse?” I remembered trying to use Essa’s magic. I’d destroyed the magic, but I hadn’t harmed my sister.

  “We think it’s because, in her anger, she was throwing everything she had at you. The sudden loss of all her magical power provoked her collapse.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt her,” I said quietly.

  “We know that.” Axxon patted my leg reassuringly through the bedclothes.

  “This is remarkable magic, Kyann,” Rey told me. His eyes shone with admiration and I’d never deserved his esteem less. “Magic cannot affect you.”

  My heart chilled further. Magic affected everything in the world. Except for me.

  “I’m dangerous,” I muttered.

  “You certainly are.” Fon sounded jubilant about the fact. “The Stalwart Emperor won’t know how to stop you.”

  That was good. We had to stop the Emperor. But what else? The kings were all watching me with admiration. They clearly hadn’t thought matters through. What if I hurt someone? What if I hurt one of the kings? Destroyed his magic just when it was needed?
Everything we were working for would be lost.

  The four kings were watching me with no trace of condemnation in their expressions. I wanted them to hug me and tell me everything would be all right.

  But I wasn’t a child. And I was definitely old enough to face the consequences of my actions.

  I pulled my hands from Rey’s hold and pushed back the covers. “I want to see Leea.”

  “I’ll help you.” Axxon stood beside me as I stamped into my boots, then offered his arm. I wanted to cry. I didn’t deserve his care and support.

  I paused. I tried to dodge around him, but he took my hand, firm and steady. “I don’t want to steal your magic,” I told him.

  He shook his head, his brown eyes warm and steady. “You won’t. You’re the guardian, Kyann. You can’t hurt us. There is nothing to worry about.”

  It seemed to me like there was plenty to worry about, but I was woozy and shocked by what I’d just learned. I was weak enough to take the comfort offered, although I knew it couldn’t last.

  Essa came to the door of Leea’s chamber as it opened.

  “How is she?” Axxon asked, before I had a chance to speak.

  “Improving slowly,” Essa said. “She’s sleeping. That’s the best thing for healing right now.”

  I looked down at Leea. Her pale face was all that could be seen above the covers. “Please tell her I’m sorry,” I said. “As soon as she wakes.”

  “Of course.” Essa’s expression softened. She caught my hand. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. And she did attack you. If there’s blame it lies on both sides.”

  “There is no blame,” Axxon stated.

  I wished I shared his confidence, but I couldn’t. I’d thought having no magic was bad enough, but this was worse. If I could take magic from other people, why, that made me as bad as the Emperor. Worse, because he at least had a purpose, even if it was an evil one. I was destroying it because I couldn’t do anything else.

  I sniffed. I’d tried to become the guardian the kings needed. I’d tried to honour the memory of my father. And I’d failed.

  Tears welled, threatening to spill over. “Please. I want to rest.”

  “Then you shall.” Axxon helped me back to my chamber, the other kings crowding around, eager to help. But there was no help.

  “I’d like to be alone,” I told them.

  “But—”

  “I’ll call if I need you,” I told them, a promise I had no intention of keeping.

  “We’ll be waiting,” they said.

  I didn’t return to my bed. I sat in the chair by the window. The day was already advancing towards evening, the shadows lengthening.

  I walked to my door and pressed my ear against it. When I was sure I could hear nothing, I slipped out of my room, pleased to find that the kings weren’t waiting outside my door. I wouldn’t have put it past them. Their care for me was strong and sustaining – but right now it was a little suffocating. I needed to be alone, until I’d come to terms with matters, at least.

  At the top of the stairs, I weakened. I wanted the kings to tell me I was doing the right thing. But it wasn’t their job to shore me up. I was the guardian. Time for me to face facts.

  I sneaked out of the castle and across the courtyard. The castle was winding down towards night, several guards working together to raise the drawbridge to secure the castle and its inhabitants. Avoiding them, I slipped through the sally port and slid down the bank on the other side of it. The moat was barely up to my knees. I carried my boots and waded to the other side. I scrambled up the far bank and oriented myself in the last of the daylight.

  The woods loomed dark and low on the far horizon, full of shadows that could be harbouring anything. I tore my eyes away; the woods weren’t my destination, not tonight.

  The people of the surrounding villages had been busy. While I’d been injuring the daughter of the family, they’d harvested the abruptly-ripened barley, the grains now set in thick stooks to dry before being stored for the winter. A few stalks still stood at the edge of the fields where they’d escaped the scythes and sickles, waving in the breeze.

  They’d do.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Kyann.” I recognised Vashri by his voice. By the time he found me, there was a pile of shrivelled barley stems beside me. And my eyes were so glazed with tears all I could make out was his shadow against the moon’s light. “Don’t leave us, Kyann. Don’t run.”

  “I’m not running.” I sighed, because that wasn’t true. I wasn’t running, but I knew I might have to. “I came out here to test a theory.”

  Vashri settled to the ground, sitting cross-legged beside me.

  The tension tearing me in half seemed to ebb. The magic that tied the kings to their guardian was powerful enough that it still provided comfort when the kings were near. How could that be the case when I destroyed all magic I came into contact with?

  I lifted one of the dead stalks of grain. “Essa tried to help me regain my magic. All that happened was that I stopped hers working. I didn’t realise what that meant at the time, but I do now.” I looked straight at him. “I destroy magic. I can’t help it.”

  “No.” Vashri reached for my hand. “That’s not what your abilities mean, Kyann.”

  I wouldn’t let myself be comforted. Not when Vashri hadn’t sat and watched what I could do for the past hour. Whatever I’d said, or done, or thought, the outcome was the same. Every plant I’d touched had been destroyed. “That is what it means. I destroy magic. And if the kings are to defeat the Emperor, I can’t stay with you.” I straightened, taking a deep breath, because the solution was obvious, if hard to face. “I should go to the Emperor myself.” It hurt to think that I’d been so close to a solution, if only I’d known. I shouldn’t have dragged Essa away from the Stalwart Emperor. I should have thrown myself at him, wrapped my arms around him and stolen all his magic. I hoped I’d be able to get close enough to do so now.

  “No.” Vashri’s expression darkened. He squeezed my hand. “We won’t let you face the Emperor alone.”

  “You have to. I can’t stay here and weaken you.”

  “You do not weaken us.” Vashri’s fingers tightened. I could feel the earnestness of his words. But just because you wanted something to be true, didn’t make it so. “You make us stronger.”

  I shook my head. “I helped to find the Tears of Giera.” My voice faded, robbed by the horror of what might have happened. “What if I’d destroyed it?”

  “You cannot destroy it. You are strong, but not that strong. The Gems of Giera were created by the goddess.”

  My cheeks flamed. Was I arrogant now, to think I was dangerous? But no, Essa and Leea were proof of my powers. And the kings weren’t gods. They were as mortal as I, for all that they’d slept for centuries. “I know that, but in my own way I am toxic to magic.” I looked at him. “Why do you even want to take the risk of keeping me close?”

  “Because you are a part of this. You are a part of us, Kyann. You might as well ask me to remove my arm. We need you.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “It is true. Balance must be returned to Charnrosa, and you are a part of that.”

  “I destroy – is that supposed to balance what you create?” I demanded bitterly.

  “No.” Vashri took my hand, cradling and stroking it. I braced against the soothing touch. “We push magic out while you draw it inwards.” His brown gaze burned into me. “Both are needed, the way a breath must be drawn in before it can be released. One without the other is useless.”

  I wanted to believe him, to throw caution to the winds that he could control so well and chance that matters would work out. But I was the guardian. And as the kings themselves had pointed out, I wasn’t the guardian of the four kings, I was the guardian of Charnrosa. I had to do the right thing for the Empire, even if it tore my heart out. “But if breath is stopped entirely, the animal will die,” I said.

  “No one has died. You mustn’t despair,
Kyann. The five of us are bound together by the magic that first sent us to sleep. We are all needed to keep Charnrosa safe.” My hand warmed, Vashri’s comfort stealing up my arm and into my heart. If we could touch like this and I didn’t destroy his magic… But I was allowing my desires to eclipse my sense. I didn’t want to be separated from the four kings. But the good of Charnrosa was too important for me to flinch from what had to be done.

  I couldn’t let the kings take a risk that might prove fatal – to the Empire as well as any of them. “How could I forgive myself if I stole your magic and that prevented you from stopping the Stalwart Emperor?”

  “I will show you that you cannot harm the kings. Will you be persuaded then?”

  I wanted to be persuaded. I wanted to throw myself at Vashri and be reassured. All I allowed myself was a single question. “How?”

  “I will use my magic, and you will discover that you can’t stop me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered. I remembered Leea’s pale, sleeping face.

  “You won’t be able to. And do you think I care for a little pain when you are so clearly hurting?” He brushed my hair back from where it had fallen over my forehead. I was further strengthened just by that brief touch.

  “Do you trust me, Kyann?” he asked, eyes shining in the moonlight.

  I opened my mouth. My “Yes,” came out a moment later, low and uncertain. I did trust him. I simply didn’t trust myself.

  His lips curved. “I’ll take that for now.”

  He shuffled closer, so his knees brushed against my thighs. Instinctively I moved away, afraid that just that touch would ruin his magic. He cupped his hands one inside the other. His gaze stayed intent on me, watching my face as though it were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

  It was too much. He shouldn’t be looking at me like that. He wouldn’t, not when he realised how dangerous I truly was. I kept my attention on his hands.