The Eleventh Golden Age of Science Fiction Megapack

by F. L. Wallace

  “I’m sure I won’t. But why half-sister? I’d think it would be rather difficult for your mother to marry again.”

  “Of course she couldn’t,” she said scornfully. “No woman’s allowed more than half a—”

  “Mary Ellen!”

  “All right, I won’t say it,” she said crossly. “But you asked.”

  * * * *

  He could fill in the missing information. With women drastically outnumbering men, husbands had to be shared. Men were allowed more than one mate, but women never were. Perhaps the development of polygamy had been inevitable.

  Earth was the center of a vast and spreading civilization. Men went out to settle the newly discovered planets while, for the most part, women tended to remain behind. More than that, there were some women who came to Earth from planets that had been settled longer, attracted by the glamor of an older civilization and high-paying jobs, never realizing until they got there the other conditions that went with it.

  Earth’s dilemma was therefore a partial solution to one of the problems of his own planet. But the important problem, getting the name changed to Mezzerow, was harder than he had anticipated. He wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow.

  He noticed Mary Ellen glancing curiously around. “Is there anything wrong?” he asked.

  “Nooo. It’s just sort of funny that you’d stay here—in the heart of the unmarried girls’ residential district.” She grinned at him. “Maybe I’d better go in with you.”

  “I think you’d better,” he said. That’s what the pudgy clerk had meant. He should have listened to him and gone to the men’s hotel.

  The lobby was crowded with women, many of whom, he suspected, had been waiting for their return. On a man-starved planet, word got around. Perhaps he was imagining it, but he thought he heard an audible sigh of disappointment when they came in with Mary Ellen. She had more than repaid them for the few anxious moments she had caused. Much more, though she didn’t know it yet.

  They went directly to their rooms and Marcus sent Wilbur inside, lingering at the door to talk with the girl. “Should I come in?” she asked hopefully. “I’m really sorry about your legs.”

  “You will not come in, Mary Ellen. I don’t trust myself alone with you.”

  “You mean it?”

  “I was never more sincere.” He almost believed it himself.

  “We don’t have to get married if you’re not going to be here long enough to make it worthwhile,” she said happily. “I was thinking—”

  He glanced warningly inside the room.

  “He’s a big nuisance,” she whispered. “Look. I’ve got to work tomorrow, but in the evening I’ll be free. Put the kid on a merry-go-round and come and see me, huh?” She threw her arms around Marcus and kissed him passionately. Then she turned and ran down the hall.

  Marcus shook his head and went into his room.

  * * * *

  In the morning, Marcus had little difficulty contacting an infolegger. For a rather large sum, a map purporting to show the location of A-CELO exchanged hands. For another sum, a map of the principal transportation tubes was added to it. Both were assuredly out of date in many respects, but were probably correct in the one detail Marcus was concerned with.

  They started rather late to avoid the morning rush. There were some transportation complications. At the first trial they arrived at the wrong section of the city. After consultation with various passengers and robot way stations, they got it straightened out. Penciling corrections on the map, they retraced their route, making only one mistake along the way. This mistake was not their fault. A transfer junction had been relocated since they had passed through it on the way out.

  They got to their destination in good time, perhaps faster than if they had used the services of Information Center. A-CELO was also an example of neo-drive-in classical. But instead of resembling something appropriate, say a five or six pointed star, it appeared to be a mere jumble of children’s curv-blocks. A closer look convinced Marcus that his first appraisal had been wrong. Originally it must have been built to house another A-function. Perhaps A-WR (Anatomy; woman, reclining).

  Whatever it was on the outside, A-CELO was confusion within. Marcus found it impossible to get near the question booths. Robots scurried about in seemingly useless tasks and workmen shouted orders that no one paid attention to. In the midst of the dust and turmoil, one man stood on a platform and watched the frantic effort with bored serenity.

  “Moving,” he said automatically as Marcus approached.

  “Where to?”

  “I don’t know. It depends on whom we can bump.”

  * * * *

  Marcus paled visibly. They were moving and didn’t know where. Another day and his map was useless. And if this man was right, even Information Center wouldn’t know where A-CELO was tomorrow. “Isn’t there a planning commission?” he said. “Don’t they tell you where to move?”

  The man shrugged. “There’s a planning commission. But they had too many responsibilities and had to move to a larger building, the same as we’re doing. Until they get settled, everyone’s on his own.” The man spoke quietly into the mike and the tempo of the removal robots accelerated. He turned back to Marcus and added an explanation: “Three exploration ships returned yesterday, loaded to the brim with micro-data. That’s why we have to move.”

  Marcus rubbed his face. He could see it posed a problem. It was not merely the storage of new data, the data also had to be made available to the public. This required new offices, human supervisors, robot clerks.

  That was the way they did things on Earth, but he wished they’d waited a few days. “You can’t be moving this stuff out on the streets. Somebody must have an idea where you’re going. Tell me who he is. I’ve got to find out where you’ll be tomorrow.”

  “Oh, no. If you found where we’re moving, you’d learn who we’re going to bump,” said the man with cheerful cunning. “They’d take steps to repel us. Can’t have that.” The man scratched his head. “Tell you, if you’re really honest—if you’re not a department spy—I can show you how to take care of your business today.”

  “I’m an Outer,” said Marcus. “I don’t care about your squabbles. I want to get something settled and get out of here.”

  “You look like an Outer,” said the man. “Here’s what you do. Part of the department is still functioning. Go to the side entrance. Question booths there are open.” He turned back to the mike and barked orders that had no visible effect on anything.

  * * * *

  The man was partly wrong. The side entrance was open, but corridors and booths were jammed with displaced information seekers. Marcus was not easily discouraged. By now he was accustomed to the vast machinations required for the simplest things. He went to the back entrance. It, too, was jammed, but after a short desperate struggle he squeezed into a booth, leaving Wilbur to hang on the outside.

  The official who answered him was sleepy and harassed, a difficult expression. He yawned and took his feet off the desk to acknowledge the call and then a robot removed the desk. He had no place to put his feet so he kept them firmly on the floor as if he expected that, too, to vanish.

  Marcus stated the request clearly, spreading the chart for the man to see. “Here is the original from which the photo-tape was made and sent to Earth with his comments. I don’t know what happened here. Perhaps the tape was fuzzy or it may have been fogged in transit by radiation. Or it may have been faulty interpretation on the part of a robot.”

  The official peered out of the view plate. “Messy Row. Mezzerow. Ha, ha.” He laughed perfunctorily and got up to pace. A robot came near the chair and he sat down hastily.

  “Here, you can see that in his own hand he spelled it Mezzerow,” said Marcus. “He named it after himself as every explorer is entitled to do once in his career. I ask that in simple justice the mistake be corrected. I have a petition signed by everyone on the planet.”

  The official waved the documen
ts back. “It doesn’t matter who signed,” he said. “We don’t allow these things to influence our decision.” He put his head in his hand though he had no desk for his elbow. His lips moved soundlessly as he framed the reply.

  “I want to give you an insight to our problems,” he said. “First, consider pilots. There are all sorts of beautiful names for planets. Plum Branch, Coarsegold, Waves End, but there’s only one Messy Row. It’s a bright spot on their voyage. They look at the charts and see it—Messy Row. They laugh. Laughter is a therapeutic force against the loneliness of space. The name of your planet is distinctive.”

  “We don’t care for the distinction,” said Marcus. “It’s got so bad, we call it Messy Row ourselves, when we’re not thinking. Who’s going to settle on a planet they laugh at?” The official didn’t seem to hear. Marcus adjusted the volume control, but there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with the sound or the volume.

  “This is only a small part of it,” continued the man. “Do you have any idea how many charts we print? You would have us make them obsolete. Think of the ships roaming through space, many never touching Earth. How can we reach them with corrected charts?”

  “I’m glad you said corrected charts,” said Marcus. “But corrected charts shouldn’t be any harder to deliver than new ones—which, you’ll admit, you’re always making.”

  “I can’t compromise our famous accuracy for the whims of a few selfish individuals,” said the official. He stood up and this time the robot whisked the chair away. He smiled and reached out his hand for the familiar vertical file. The file wasn’t there, but a robot was. It took his hand and tried to lead him away. He shook himself loose. “You can see we’re busy. Come back when we’re not in the midst of an upheaval. I might consider a request that at present I must turn down.” He walked briskly away, leaving Marcus with a fine view of an empty room—until a robot came and took the viewplate to the other end.

  Marcus eased out of the booth. Wilbur was waiting with an anxious face. “I know it’s past noon,” he said gloomily to his son. “We’ll get something to eat. Eggs.” Wilbur knew better than to protest.

  * * * *

  They left A-CELO before the removal robots arrived at the rear section. In the quiet of a nearby restaurant Marcus considered the problem anew. The mission hadn’t been entirely a failure. He could accomplish one important task without the aid of any government agency. In fact, it was better if he didn’t ask their help.

  But he owed something to the memory of Captain Mathew Mezzerow. Mezzerow his father had called the planet—and Mezzerow it was going to be.

  There was also Wilma. She had arrived when both she and the settlement were quite young. Courted and feted and proposed to endlessly, she had found the excitement of being the center of attention irresistible. She hadn’t minded the name then, not since she was the prettiest, most attractive girl there. There weren’t many others.

  But she had changed as Messy Row had grown. They had four sons now, Wilbur the oldest. Four sons. She was not concerned whether they would marry. Her sons were smart and handsome and belonged to the best family—they would experience no trouble in finding wives. But if they did she could always take them visiting—to a planet on which there was no woman shortage.

  Once she had been slightly giddy, even after they were married. Marcus had often wondered how her lashes could possibly remain intact when other men came near. She had outgrown that phase and when the chrysalis burst it revealed a different woman.

  Out of the flirtatious girl came the homemaker. Everything near her was immaculate. Fences around the house were whitewashed and the lawns were always mowed. Inside, everything was as tidy as a pin. Mud was never tracked in. Wilma no longer approved of Messy Row as the name of any planet on which she lived.

  Marcus had to have help. Someone who lived on Earth would know the proper approach better than he. He fished out the card Mary Ellen had given him and the longer he looked the more certain he was that he had found the person. It was not Mary Ellen. It was her sister.

  Mary Ellen and Chloe—no last names given. Apparently this was custom, the way unmarried girls informed the world that they were looking for mates. In addition to their names was the address at which they both lived.

  There was also the occupation of each. Mary Ellen was a junior attendant, whatever that was. But Chloe was far more important. She was an astrographer, a senior supervisor astrographer.

  Marcus ate rapidly, a definite plan materializing with each bite. Chloe was the key. With her aid, he should be able to change Messy Row. He smiled reflectively. With what he had to offer she would certainly consent to help him—even if it was illegal.

  * * * *

  Mary Ellen was not at home, but Chloe was and she welcomed them. Marcus truthfully explained how they’d met her sister. Chloe commented unfavorably on the marriage gangs and, though Marcus agreed, he received the remarks in silence. It was not for him to change the mores of Earth. Society had to work with what there was.

  Chloe was small and dark in contrast to the larger blonde Mary Ellen. She was older, too. Once she must have been quite pretty, but instead of easing graciously into the poise of maturity she had been forced into the early thirties without a husband. The struggle showed.

  She was cordial when they came in and even more cordial when he finished outlining his plan. “Yes, something can be done,” she said quietly. “I will set up the organization and ship them out in groups of ten. I have a vacation in a few months and Mary Ellen and I will come then.” She glanced at him anxiously. “That is, if you think I’m needed.”

  “You are,” he assured her. “We need wives, mothers, skilled technicians. I can’t think of anyone who will fit the description better.”

  “Then you’ll see me again,” she said. “And not merely for the reasons you think. You see, I have a high-salaried job and could have been married before this. But it didn’t seem right. I want to feel I’m of some use to a civilization that seems to have forgotten people like me exist.”

  “Mezzerow needs you,” he said. “I was thinking of a man I know. Joe Ainsworth, a quiet thoughtful fellow of about thirty-five or thirty-seven. His trouble has been that he likes pretty women who are also intelligent. I’ll have him keep an eye out for you.”

  She smiled and the transformation took place. She was pretty. Marcus wondered whether there was such a person as Joe Ainsworth. There must be, in kind if not in name.

  “So much for that,” said Chloe briskly. “The rest of your plan for Messy Row is a fine example of muddy thinking. In the first place I work for a private company, not the government.”

  “But you make government charts.”

  “True. But let me show you what I mean. What’s the code number of the chart Messy Row is on?”

  Marcus quoted it from memory. The code of a map on which a given system could be found was almost as important as the name.

  Chloe closed her eyes. “No,” she said when she opened them. “That’s done in another department. I couldn’t possibly change it to Mezzerow.”

  “But if you changed it, the name would stay,” said Marcus. “I’ll give you money to see that it gets done. Once it’s on the map nobody will say anything. Even if they do notice, all they’ll know is that there’s a conflict between early and late editions. They’ll have to go directly to the source to straighten it out. And we’re the source.”

  Chloe smiled fleetingly. “It’s never done that way. Do you think they’d send nine hundred and forty-seven light-years to find whether the name is Messy Row or Mezzerow?” She crossed her legs and they were nice legs. There had to be a Joe Ainsworth.

  “It won’t work,” said Chloe. “I can’t make the change myself or even bribe someone to do it.” She noticed his dejection and touched his hand. “Don’t be discouraged. There’s another way. An Outer wouldn’t think of it because he doesn’t know what goes on behind the scenes.”

  “I’ve seen enough to give me a good idea,” s
aid Marcus.

  “I wonder. Have you noticed that when you ask for information you are always answered by a human? And just as obviously he doesn’t know. He has to contact a robot and relay the information along.”

  * * * *

  He hadn’t thought of it. The omnipresent vertical file was, in reality, a robot memory bank. Why not give the robot a voice and dispense with innumerable men and women? The question was on his face when he looked at Chloe.

  “Robots are logical—nothing more,” she said. “Most questions can’t be given black and white answers. There must be an intermediary who understands the limitations of the mechanical mind to interpret it to the public.”

  “I don’t see how this is going to help me,” he said.

  “You’ve been trying to get an official to say that you’re right and he’ll see that the change is made. Abandon that approach. He’ll never take the time. Write your request.”

  “For forty years we’ve been writing. That’s why I’m here.”

  Chloe smiled again. “The number of letters received by the government in one year reaches a remarkable total. Or perhaps the total isn’t huge when you consider how many humans in the Universe there are. Anyway, off-planet letters are never opened, because there’s no way to tell from the outside which are important. So they’re all pulped and used as nutrients in food tanks.”

  Marcus nodded dubiously. “I see. Anyone who thinks he has something important will come here…as I did. And if he isn’t satisfied he tries to go over the head of whoever refused the request. This volume is still great, but it’s small enough to be processed without falling hopelessly behind.”

  “Exactly. And if you phrase your request properly there’s a good chance it will be granted, even if it is foolish.”

  “This isn’t foolish,” said Marcus, rubbing his hands. “I’ve got all the facts. I can write them in my sleep.”

  “Who said anything about facts?” said Chloe. “The worst thing you can do is to give them facts. Don’t you see what I’m trying to tell you?”