The McCallans
Page 115
She bit her lip and opened her mouth to respond.
“Nuh uh, don’t do that,” he said in a low voice, shaking his head. Even from a few feet away she could tell his eyes were dark and luring. Dipping her toe in this situation had been risky, and seeing that look on his face was testimony enough.
“Don’t do what?” she asked.
“Don’t bite your lip like that. It’s too sexy and you’re turning me on.” He reached down and wrapped a hand around his dick, which was definitely hard now.
She watched him stroke it a few times and then looked up to meet his eyes. “I’ll be ready for you in the bedroom, then.”
She winked and then headed out the door, but she had to laugh when she heard him groan with frustration.
Now that she felt more comfortable, she lit a couple of candles on the nightstand and flipped off the bedroom light.
“Much better,” she whispered to herself, enjoying the comforts of a darkened room.
She slipped off her pants and was about to remove her t-shirt when Tate entered the room. He was still dripping wet and barely had the towel wrapped around his waist.
“You in a hurry for something?” she teased, almost ready to laugh at the fact she could seriously see his hard-on pushing the towel out.
He didn’t respond with words, only stepped closer and placed his hands against her neck. They were hot against her skin, and when he moved them to the back of her head to kiss her, she could feel the moisture that was left behind.
The second his tongue entered her mouth, Kellie felt her body grow heavier with desire. He inched her backward toward the bed and his towel dropped to the floor. Instead of gently laying her on the bed, he actually tossed her onto it. It made her smile, but his mouth devoured hers just as quickly when he climbed over the top of her.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered before he kissed her collarbone.
Those words. She’d been told all of her life that she was a beautiful girl. And because of the family she grew up in, her mother always made sure Kellie was given every opportunity to prove it. Hair appointments, spa treatments, dermatologists, fitness coaches, nutritionists, manicures and pedicures… She had never lacked the opportunity to be beautified.
But no matter how much time and effort she put in to become “presentable” for the public, it always came with an equal amount of disapproval and criticism anyway. Kellie had been taught from an early age that it didn’t matter how amazing you were, there were still people that would not like you. But even with knowing that, the disappointment from feeling like a failure had created a lot of self-doubt. It was never something she expected from herself, but it sent her into a downward spiral at the age of sixteen. After pulling herself out of it a couple of years later, she’d decided not to give a fuck ever since.
But she still had issues that would assault her when it came to being with someone physically, and now that she was starting to become vulnerable around Tate, it was starting to bring those insecurities out again. She hated it. She hated feeling like she wasn’t good enough for people. And with how hard she was falling for this guy, she was scared to death he was going to be disappointed.
“Hey baby, where are you?” Tate asked softly as he kissed her cheek. He studied her for a few seconds and waited for an answer. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She flashed him a smile and pulled him back down to continue.
But Tate withdrew again. “That’s a fake smile. It’s gorgeous, but it’s fake. What’s going on?”
He moved to the side of her and propped himself up with an elbow on the bed.
He was waiting for an answer.
She glanced down his body, completely naked next to her and still erect. The candlelight was perfect because she could see everything she wanted to see, but could also feel like she was able to hide any imperfections she didn’t want seen.
A long bout of silence commenced between them. There was no guy in the world that would’ve ever been granted that kind of intimacy with her—lying there on a bed waiting for her to explain something to him. But Tate had somehow become the exception to her remoteness. She’d reached a point in her life where she wanted to have someone consistent in her life; someone to love hard and to rely on.
And Tate had easily won that title.
Chapter Fifteen
Tate was still waiting patiently for her to say something. Anything. She seemed so troubled at the moment and it was kind of fucking with him.
“I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything, Kellie,” he spoke softly. “Normally I wouldn’t push so much, but this is killing me. I really wish I could be inside your head sometimes.”
“I want to open up to you, but I’m really not good at that kind of thing,” she finally answered softly. “And I have a hard time trusting people. I know you may take offense to that because in your mind you know yourself, but with someone like me, it’s not so easy.”
“I can understand that. I’m not asking you to open up about anything deeply personal; you just looked zoned out. I only wanted to know why.”
“Because I was thinking about my deeply personal issue,” she replied with a tiny smile.
He paused for a second. Well shit. “Oh.”
“Look, it’s nothing big. It’s just…my life. There’s a certain amount of privacy that I like to maintain when it comes to it. Even some friends that I’ve known for a long time don’t really know a lot about me. I like it that way.”
“Do you like it that way when it comes to me?”
She looked at him for several seconds. Her gorgeous eyes were flickering with candlelight but he could tell she was feeling either sad or guilty.
But Tate didn’t need a verbal answer. He could already tell. Pulling her closer to him, he kissed her cheek and chin, then found her lips next. A past didn’t matter. What mattered was the way she made him feel right now, and if she needed time in order to gain his trust, then he would certainly allow it.
He knew she was worth it.
“You’re beautiful, every inch of you, inside and out,” he murmured against her temple. “And you and me together? …Well, that’s just perfection.”
And with those words, he could feel the change in her demeanor instantly. An emotional milestone with Kellie was sometimes similar to being at the edge of a climax; he’d have her right there close and all it took was the right moment and she would let go just enough. The result was gratifying in a way that Tate enjoyed it just as much as he did anything physical with her, and having that kind of emotional satisfaction from being with her definitely indicated that he had come across something rare.
It didn’t matter that he understood more than she realized. He wasn’t dense, and he’d picked up on several signs here and there. When she spoke, he listened. Even when she didn’t exactly share much, he could gather more just through her eyes and body language.
She was insecure, and she also had serious issues with her body. She’d already told him that from the beginning, even though she hadn’t meant to. But even if she hadn’t, he would have picked up on it. Although he didn’t quite understand it from her point of view because he thought she was gorgeous and absolutely perfect, he would never disregard how she felt. He knew those kinds of psychological effects weren’t easy to explain sometimes.
However, he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. For whatever reason she felt her nakedness wasn’t worthy of his liking, he wanted to do anything he could to nullify it. One of these days he would see her—all of her—and he knew without a doubt he was going to love every bit of her.
Tate repositioned himself over her again. He brushed his lips across her jaw line and against her neck. The rest of her clothes were an issue and just needed to come off, so while he kept her mind occupied by kissing her mouth, he gently slid her shirt up to remove it. He kissed along her collarbone and down between her breasts, while at the same time unhooking her bra from underneath. She never had an issue with him doing tha
t, but as soon as his lips began their trek down her stomach, he could feel her tense up.
He allowed his hands to travel down with him and placed them on her hips. Her uneasiness had him worried again because she did exactly what he knew she would do. She’d done it every time his eyes were able to see her body up close.
“Come back up here and kiss me,” she said, reaching down to encourage him upward.
Normally he would comply because he hadn’t caught on to her routine yet, but this time he didn’t. Tate moved down further and began to slide her panties down instead. He was all for traditional sex any day of the week, but this time he preferred more foreplay.
“You don’t need to waste your time,” she tried to convince him. “Come on, Tate. I’m already so wet for you right now.”
“Well lemme see,” he smiled at her.
He removed her panties all the way, and even though it was fairly dark in the room, he could see enough it made his dick jump with anticipation. She was completely naked in front of him, the candlelight illuminating just enough of her skin he could enjoy her curves and contours. He had absolutely no understanding of why she was so uncomfortable being seen naked; she had the most gorgeous body he’d ever seen.
Tate gently lifted a leg and kissed along her inner thigh. He did the same to the other leg, and when he slid his arms underneath both thighs, he could tell she was shaking.
“Relax, baby,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”
He had no idea why she was so nervous. Granted, he’d never been in this position with her—she had always deterred it—but for whatever reason, she was seriously uncomfortable.
“I love your legs,” he told her, pulling himself back a bit to set them down and run his hands over them. Maybe she needed more reassurance. “Your skin is so soft and warm.” He was making eye contact with her at the same time, hoping it would answer his silent questions. She didn’t seem to care what he was enjoying because at the same time, he noticed her hands gripping the bedding tightly.
What in the fuck is wrong with this?
Tate quickly ran a couple of options through his confused brain. Seeing her so riled like that was making him feel a little stressed out. He was the man in this relationship and wanted so badly to do to her what he wanted to do. At some point she was either going to have to explain what the hell was going on or he needed to stop this altogether. Limiting their physical options was going to wreck him, but maybe he needed to give her all of the control again.
“Kellie, look at me,” he spoke softly. She was already looking at him, but he wanted to hold her attention more directly. “Tell me to stop if you want me to stop, okay? I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. This isn’t how it should be right now.” He sure as hell hoped she knew what he meant. Explaining to her how freaked out she looked right now would have ruined him.
Thankfully she loosened her grip on the bedding and exhaled, but she didn’t respond with words.
Tate was hesitant. Should he continue what he was doing until she said otherwise or just stop entirely?
He pulled himself over her again and kissed her lips. Trying to put everything he could into it, he heard her moan against his mouth and that was completely gratifying. He continued to kiss her since that’s what seemed to keep her more relaxed. Normally they’d go from kissing to fucking in a matter of seconds, but this time his attempt at further seduction had apparently been a failure, so he went with what seemed to make her feel the best.
But the second she pulled her knees up to rub her center against him, he changed his mind. Instead of entering her body how she wanted him to, he quickly switched his position so he could use his tongue and fingers instead. She didn’t even have a chance to worry because he was already going to work before she could object.
He didn’t bother teasing like he knew he could—it wasn’t the time right now—so he did his job until she was gripping the bedding for good reasons this time. Those sounds that were coming out of her mouth… Damn, it was hot. And before she could recover and have a chance to think about anything else, he slid his cock inside of her to complete the session. Well, he completed the session two more times, actually. It was way too enjoyable to hear her come like that.
He was about to pull her over the top of him because he wanted to see her body sitting there in front of him, but she resisted. The only time they’d had sex in that position was the night on the couch, but she’d hid herself under the t-shirt she was wearing.
“I just want you to come,” she told him breathlessly. “Please, Tate.”
She turned over onto her stomach, which was fine because he loved that position with her. But it was another classic Kellie move he was beginning to catch on to as well. She did not like having herself on display for him in any way.
Tate was still leaden with worry, but he pushed those thoughts aside to enjoy the rest of his time with her. He made her come one more time before she commanded that he do the same, and after they had both cleaned up and put some of their clothes back on, he stretched out on the bed with her in his arms. She even pulled the covers up over them as they cuddled, but Tate had to resist the temptation to fall asleep. He knew it was what she wanted, but the answer was still no.
He felt guilty. It always made him feel guilty. Kellie—being a self-proclaimed non-snuggler the first time they’d had sex in his office—had even warmed up to him more than he’d expected. She always let him pull her close, or she would back her booty up against him to allow for spooning. She was either not as coldhearted as she claimed she was or he had melted the Ice Queen’s heart just a little.
He liked to believe it was both.
Chapter Sixteen
“Have you actually considered what this will do for your reputation?” Grandpa asked casually. “Or…not do for your reputation?”
Kellie rolled her eyes at him when he turned his back to sit in his favorite chair. She knew being at the mansion would produce such a conversation with him but it was just another day in the life of her being an “unsuccessful” McCallan.
She didn’t necessarily have many conflicts with her grandfather, but she was always outspoken with him. He knew this about her, and usually didn’t make a big deal over it, but in her refusal to go the Grammys as Aidan Sanderson’s date—to “mend” some broken bridges—Grandpa had turned sour. She’d informed him that she was dating someone, and Tate being a tattoo artist just wasn’t up-to-par on the McCallans’ list of acceptable suitors.
Well, she didn’t give a fuck.
“Whatever you say about it isn’t going to change my mind,” she stated as she sat across from him. The housekeeper offered her a cup of tea but she declined.
“I know,” he agreed with a nod. “I just don’t understand it.”
“You don’t understand that I’m not interested in Aidan personally or professionally?” she smiled. “Really? What I went through with him was bullshit. I will never give him the time a day ever again, so please stop asking.”
“Fair enough,” he shrugged. “I’m just trying to help.”
“He’s a complete dick. I refuse. And playing Hollywood matchmaker doesn’t help me in any way. I don’t give a shit what he thinks of me.”
“And what does help you out, sweetheart? You know I’m here for anything you need.”
She silently considered that. He always had been willing to help with anything financially. Some may view that as buying people’s affection, but Kellie understood it as being his only form of affection.
“You said you had some news about the nursing home,” she reminded him. “I was just wondering if you figured out what I could do.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yes. Completely forgot about that. And it’s done, no need to worry.”
It was Kellie’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “What do you mean it’s done? What’s done?”
He shrugged as if it were obvious. “New administrator was hired, new policies, new amenities to make the place nicer t
o be in. The right people were contacted. Things should be much better for your friend’s, uh, family member that’s there.”
Kellie wanted to roll her eyes again. He couldn’t even remember why she’d asked for his help, just that he could do something about it. She’d told him all about her experience in that place and the horrible bitch that made her want to take action, but it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t care about the personal details of the matter.
“Please tell me no one lost their job, though,” she said, cringing that he may have gone a little overboard with his authority. She knew he actually sent someone else to do it for him, but she still wanted to make sure it was done how she’d requested.
He looked at her with a blank expression. “You specifically said not to fire anyone, so yes, the same employees are there. They just may have, ehh, modified job descriptions.”
Kellie cocked an eyebrow. “Please tell me she’s cleaning floors now instead of sitting her ass in front of a television.”
“That’s what you hinted at,” he answered with a sharp nod.
She sighed to herself. She’d gotten her way, but it didn’t feel very assuring at the moment. She knew why. It was the whole wave-a-McCallan-hand-and-it-shall-be-done kind of thing. Sure it was useful sometimes, but it almost felt like a double standard.
“I appreciate it,” she said as she stood.
“Where are you going?” her grandpa asked, seeming surprised. “Stay for a while.”
“I can’t. I’m meeting Tate in a bit. I need to head home and get ready.”
He slowly nodded. “Well can you at least give me another minute of your time and tell me more about this man you’re dating?”
Her Uncle Craig walked into the room at that moment. He was the one family member besides her own parents that she couldn’t force herself to like. She couldn’t believe that Teague and Max had come from that man. Even now, as he conveyed his interest in hearing what she had to say, it was far from anything like sharing with either of his sons. Now and then she could detect a moment of humanity in the man, but overall, he’d always seemed to be self-serving and egotistical.