The Darkness Before the Dawn
Page 8
They swept over the desert in great circles, searching for an oasis, an outpost, a caravan-any sign of water or intelligent life that might be carrying water-but the elf chief had sent them directly into the most barren wastes in the region. They knew what lay to the east; they had just walked it, but the terrain to the north and south looked just the same. Only to the west did it change, but that change was hardly for the better. There they found only stony barrens and rocky badlands.
Beyond that, however...
The city of Tyr rested in a circular basin at the base of the Ringing Mountains. As dangerous as it was there, with King Kalak enslaving everyone who even looked at him wrong and forcing them to build an enormous pyramid in the center of the city, it was still better than dying in the desert. Trouble was, traveling on foot it was over a week's walk away. They could never reach it on the provisions they carried with them.
Jedra and Kayan circled the enormous walled city, crying out in frustration with their psionic roc's powerful call. They could be there now if they knew how to transport their bodies along with their minds. But they didn't know. They hardly knew what they were doing as it was.
For the want of a mentor, we shall perish within sight of salvation, they thought.
The city glowed with the light of thousands of minds at work, one of which could undoubtedly teach them what they needed to know. But how could they find that one mind among so many? Some were brighter than others, but Jedra had learned the hard way that the signature of a powerful mind didn't necessarily mean a friendly psionicist waited behind it. In Tyr, with its immense slave pens and massive military buildup to keep the peace, most of the psionicists would be slavemasters or warriors.
Their agitation weakened the contact. The roc began to diminish, and though their controlling minds remained linked, they separated into two distinct points of view.
The Kayan part of their mind said, It's not going to happen. We 're wasting our strength; we've been linked too bug as it is. At this rate we'll exhaust ourselves before we can even take our first steps toward anywhere.
What difference mill that make if we have nowhere to go? Jedra asked.
We can't give up. Kayan said. We still have a day's supplies. Two if we're careful. Tyr is the closest sign of life; we'll head there and hope to find some form of help along the way. There isn't any-
Save it. Before Jedra could protest further, Kayan broke the link.
If coming down from their convergence was hard before, being dropped out of it unexpectedly was like feeling his own death. Jedra lurched drunkenly and had to put out his arms to keep from falling over.
"Yuh..." he tried to speak, but words wouldn't form. You might have warned me! he mindsent instead.
It was the wrong thing to say, and saying it mentally was the wrong medium. They were both suffering from the post-link depression, and filtered through his frustration and hers, his mental words carried far more freight than spoken words ever could.
If you weren't so indecisive, I wouldn't have had to break away so abruptly, she snapped back at him.
Her meaning came across instantly, along with her contempt. He looked up to see her glaring at him. Indecisive? he sent back. I don't call walking seven days to Tyr on two days' rations a decision. I call that stupidity.
Oh, so what would you rather do? Wait here? Go back to the elves and say we're sorry, will they take us back in?
That's a better idea than just walking on into the desert. If you hadn't got us in trouble there in the first place, we-
Me? You're the one who got us in trouble. You and your stupid cloud ray.
Jedra climbed shakily to his feet. I was looking for Sahalik, which I would never have had to do if you hadn't chased him out of camp.
Kayan stood up, too, and though she only came up to the middle of his chest, she looked ready to take him on with bare hands at any moment. Oh, yeah? And what was I supposed to do, let him have his filthy way with me just so we could stay with your precious elves? Was I supposed to buy their hospitality with my body?
Jedra clenched and unclenched his fists. You could have let him down easy, he said. You didn't have to humiliate him in front of the whole tribe.
I did, too. Kayan turned away and picked up her pack. Of course if you had been more decisive when he first showed up, maybe I wouldn't have, but when he realized you were a pushover, he-
Oh, so that's my fault now, too! Jedra grabbed his own pack off the sand and tied it closed, then swung it onto his back. He picked up the spear with its rag tied to the end and slung that over his shoulder, wincing at the sore spot where it had rested during the last march. Well let me tell you something, miss high-and-mighty ex-templar, I didn't get us into this mess. You did. You and your-
Cloud ray, she said. Cloud ray, cloud ray, cloud ray. That's why we got kicked out of the tribe. I had us living in the chief's tent until you pulled that stunt. Arrgghh! Jedra growled, an inarticulate bellow of rage. She'd twisted things around in a circle again.
He stomped off with the rag end of the spear bent low in front of him, sweeping for sand cactus.
Where are you going? Kayan demanded.
Jedra stopped. He'd struck out to the north, he realized. Toward Urik, the only place he'd ever called home. But Urik was nearly twice as far away as anyplace else they could go, the entire distance through open desert. He looked toward the east, where the sky was just beginning to show the first glow of approaching dawn. Only hostile elves and the tablelands lay in that direction. The south was no better. Reluctantly, he turned westward and began walking. I guess I'm going to Tyr, he said.
* * *
One good thing about anger, Jedra thought an hour or so later-it completely overrode the exhaustion he'd expected to feel after their convergence. He and Kayan had already walked farther this morning than they'd gone in either of their previous marches, and the sun hadn't even cleared the horizon yet. The last stars were fading before them, though, and it wouldn't be long before the temperature began to rise. Who would have thought there could be so much change in so barren a landscape? Hot enough to cook meat on a rock during the day, and cold enough to freeze it at night; full of vegetation and lizards and other small animals just a day to the east, but practically empty here. A person couldn't count on anything in the desert.
He increased his pace, eager to get out of the desert.
Hey, Kayan mindsent. You're already going too fast. Your legs are longer than mine.
I thought you wanted to get to Tyr, he replied without turning his head, but he slowed down.
* * *
The sun had been up for a couple of hours before they spoke again. Your shoulders are going to get sunburned,
Kayan sent.
I know, Jedra responded. His pack covered some of the rips the cactus had made in his robe, but not all of them. Shouldn't you turn your robe around or something? They were walking on much rockier ground now, the sand underfoot littered with pebbles and stones. Occasional reddish-yellow boulders dotted the landscape as well. Jedra paused beside one such boulder, letting his danger sense tell him if anything was hiding behind it, and when he was sure it was safe he relaxed a bit and said, I suppose I should.
He took off his pack and dropped it to the ground, handed Kayan the spear, then pulled his arms through his sleeves and twisted the robe around. When he stuck his arms out again the cloth felt tight across his neck, but most of the holes the cactus had ripped in it were in front. He put his pack on and took back the spear, then started walking again.
Jedra, Kayan sent.
What?
Couldn't we at least rest for a minute?
Rest. That sounded good. Trouble was, in his depression, would he ever start out again?
He would have to find out sometime. All right, he said, turning around and walking back to the boulder where Kayan still waited.
They sat down in the shade and each took a drink from Kayan's waterskin. Her honeycakes beckoned from within her pack, but neit
her she nor Jedra took one. They would eat during the hottest part of the day, when they stopped for shelter from the sun.
After a minute or so of awkward silence, Kayan said aloud, "Jedra, I'm sorry I said all those things. I was just frustrated and tired. I don't really think that about you." "You can't lie in a mindlink," Jedra said.
You can too, Kayan sent. She laughed, and when Jedra looked puzzled she said, "Think about it."
He tried to work out the logic of it, and finally he admitted, "All right, maybe you can. But you still said it. You wanted it to be true." "I didn't either. I wanted to hurt you." He looked at her as if she'd just said she planned to stab him in the back. "That's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Of course it is," she said. She shook her head to flip her hair back out of her eyes. "Look, we were mad at each other. When you're mad, you say things to hurt each other. You don't necessarily mean them."
"Oh," Jedra said. He looked at her again, really looked at her for the first time that day. She certainly seemed sincere, with her green eyes open wide and her round face full of concern. Jedra felt himself relax a little. "I supposed that's another thing I don't know much about," he said.
"What, fighting?"
"Yeah." He looked away again, out over the desert. "The whole world seems to thrive on it, but I've never understood why. What good does it do? People hurt each other all the time, usually for the stupidest reasons. They kill each other because of an insult, or sometimes just for something to do. Some people are always looking for fights."
"Like Sahalik," Kayan said.
"Yeah, like Sahalik." Jedra looked back at her. "I don't know. Maybe you didn't have anything to do with that. I'm a half-elf; he probably would have found an excuse to challenge me even if you'd been nicer to him." "Maybe." Kayan shrugged. "I guess I could have tried anyway."
"You're a pacifist," said Kayan, true wonder in her voice. "That's incredible."
"Why?"
"Because of where you come from. Most people who grow up on the streets just take it as given that they have to fight for survival. For someone like you to figure out that there might be a better way, well, that's pretty unusual."
Jedra wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not, but he decided to take it as one. "Thanks," he said.
"You're welcome," she said. She blushed, then leaned closer to him. "I'm sorry I got you mad. Kiss and make up?"
He wasn't sure if he had gotten completely over his anger yet, but he suddenly realized he was going to have to practice what he'd just preached. He supposed it could have been worse, though.
"All right," he said, and he leaned forward for the second kiss of his life.
* * *
Their rest stop lasted a little longer than they'd originally intended, but when they started out again they walked side by side. The ground was too rocky for sand cactus, and besides, it was easier to hold hands that way.
They walked at a steady pace all through the morning, their improved spirits helping even more than anger to keep them going. The harder ground underfoot helped as well. It was difficult to judge how far they'd gone, since they hadn't paid that much attention to the passing miles, so when they stopped for lunch Jedra said, "Why don't we link up and check our progress?"
"You just want to mind-merge again," Kayan said playfully.
"And you don't?"
"Of course I do, but I don't know if it's a good idea. Look what happened last time."
"Hmm."
They had stopped by the biggest boulder they could find, but it wasn't rounded enough to provide much shade with the sun straight overhead. Jedra considered the situation for a moment, then he propped the spear against the rock, took off his robe, and rucked the corners into the holes in the spear haft. Then he stretched the cloth out toward the ground and weighted the bottom corners down with rocks, making a lean-to tent big enough for both of them to fit under.
"All right," Kayan said when he'd finished. "Let's link up and see how far we've come, but that's it. No lingering this time."
"Deal."
They climbed under the makeshift tent, joined hands, and linked. At once their argument that morning seemed petty and foolish. Compared to the sense of well-being they felt now, their little differences of opinion were insignificant. Who cared who got them into trouble? They were invincible now. Once again they rose on powerful roc wings over the desert, and they immediately wheeled around to the west and flew for Tyr.
It was still a long way off. Even at the pace they'd maintained that morning it would take five days to reach it, but they wouldn't be able to keep up that pace after they ran out of food and water. They had maybe three days of good marching left, maximum, and the last one would be without food or water.
There's got to be a better solution than just heading west until we drop, Jedra's part of their mind suggested.
We've been over this before, Kayan's practical side replied. We knew it was a long way when we decided to go for it. We've done better than we thought we'd do; let's be glad of it and keep going.
Let's at least look for the oasis on our way back, Jedra thought. We might find it yet, or something else that'll help.
All right. They turned away from the city and flew eastward again, focusing their psionic senses on anything unusual. Water, food, intelligent minds, even animals that might provide a life-sustaining meal. At first they found nothing, but when they had come about two-thirds of the way back to where their bodies waited they spotted something far to the north. A scintillating beacon of some sort, like sunlight reflected off a rippling surface.
Open water? It couldn't be, not out here. But it might be something else useful, so they veered northward and with a few powerful wingbeats flew toward it.
A city slid up from behind the horizon, its buildings taller and straighter-sided than anything either of them had ever seen. Even the modest ones were larger than the pyramid under construction at Tyr, and there were dozens even bigger. What they had seen was sunlight reflecting off the flat sides of the buildings.
What could it be? Jedra asked, and Kayan answered, An ancient ruin? I've heard the desert is littered with them.
This doesn't look very ruined.
Maybe we're seeing it as it used to be.
They circled around, looking at the buildings from all sides. At their bases grew trees and green grass so thick the dirt couldn't be seen between the blades. In the middle of one open courtyard a fountain sprayed three jets of water high into the air.
And seated on a bench beside the fountain, a six-limbed, mantislike thri-kreen leaned its head back and watched them with its black, multifaceted eyes.
We've found it! Jedra said. This has to be the oasis.
It doesn't have to be anything, Kayan said.
Sure it does. And whatever it is, it's better than nothing. We should come here instead.
No, we should stick with our original course. If we start chasing mirages, we'll never make it anywhere.
This isn't a mirage.
They felt the same rending of their union that they had felt last time they had begun to argue, the same diminishing of their synergy. Kayan said, Let's unlink and talk about it.
Jedra sensed that she was going to break the link anyway, so he readied himself for the shock and said, All right.
It wasn't quite so bad as before. Their roc body and the city below flickered and vanished like a burst soap bubble, and Jedra once again found himself sitting on the hard rock with Kayan by his side. Their makeshift tent flapped softly overhead in a faint breeze.
Neither of them spoke for a minute while they tried to corral their stressed emotions. The letdown was just as intense as always, but they were getting familiar with it, and they simply waited for it to pass.
Jedra spoke first. "I still think we should go for the city. It's only another day and a half away."
"It may not be a city," Kayan said. "And if it is, I bet it's nothing but rubble now, no matter what we saw." "And the thri-kre
en?"
"Who knows? Maybe it was the ghost of the king." Jedra leaned back against the rock. They had pitched their lean-to tent on the west side of it, which hadn't received sun yet today and was still a few degrees cooler than the surrounding air. "Maybe it wasn't," he said. "Maybe it was an actual, living thri-kreen. Maybe it lives out there, and the city was its mental image of home."
Kayan picked up a fist-sized rock and turned it over in her hand. "You want to go into a thri-kreen's home? They eat elves, did you know that?"
"I'm not an elf," Jedra told her. "I'm a half-elf."
"So it'll only eat half of you."
"We can defend ourselves if necessary," Jedra said, "but I'll bet we won't have to. Thri-kreen and elves get along fine in the city. I'll bet it'll sell us food and water if we offer to buy it. I've still got Dornal's money bag. And maybe the thri-kreen will know a better way across the desert than the way we're going."
" 'Maybe' is a pretty unsure thing to hang your hopes on," Kayan said to the rock.
"So is thinking we can walk all the way to Tyr on two half-empty waterskins and ten honeycakes."
Kayan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, but didn't speak.
"This is serious," Jedra said. "We could die out here. We will die if we make the wrong decision."
"I know that." Kayan flung the rock she'd been holding out into the desert, where it clacked against another rock and bounced to the side. "That's why I don't want to waste our last resources wandering off after a psionic chimera."
Since they weren't speaking mind-to-mind Jedra didn't get a definition of "chimera," but he had an idea of what she meant anyway.
"Let's sleep on it," he said. "When we're ready to travel we can see if it's still there. If it's not, I'm willing to try for Tyr, but if it is I think we should go for the city."
"I don't know," Kayan said. "But you're right about one thing: We should sleep." She lay back against her pack and closed her eyes.
***** Jedra kept watch again, then traded with Kayan for a few hours' rest of his own. When he woke in the late afternoon they shared another honeycake and each had another mouthful of water. Then they joined minds again and looked for the mysterious city.