Felix (The Ninth Inning #1)

by Lindsay Paige

  “Fuck!” he mutters. The window fell down onto his back. Luckily, it wasn’t but a few inches higher anyway. “I’m going to kill him.” Hector climbs the rest of the way in and tells me he’ll let me in the front.

  I go around, nervous about what we’ll find inside. Hector is silent as he leads me into Blake’s house. He stops outside of a door before turning to face me. Before he can speak, my phone rings with a call from Abigail.

  “Hold on a sec,” I tell him. “Hey, beautiful. Whatcha need?”

  “I know you’re busy with your whole game after thing, but I wanted to tell you I’ve decided to try again with the driving.”

  “That’s great,” I tell her, feeling as if the longer we stand here with Hector looking annoying with me is going to make whatever is on the other side that much worse. “Wait, what?” I ask because I stopped paying attention for a second and have no clue what she said.

  “I said that you absolutely must not forget this. My therapist is going to be there with me, so maybe things will go better, but I want you there, too. I mean, if you’ll meet us.” She sounds unsure and nervous, probably over driving again.

  “Of course I will. Look, I’m in the middle of something and really need to go, but you have my word, Abigail, and I’m really proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Felix.”

  We say goodbye and Hector grabs the doorknob, finally speaking as he turns it.

  “I can go ahead and tell you that whatever is on the other side of this door is not a regular occurrence for Blake, so don’t start judging him.”

  That doesn’t sound too good. Regardless, I nod, and he pushes the door open. We’re hit with the stench of alcohol, which is never something you want to smell coming from an athlete, especially when we’re in the middle of a season. Blake is passed out on his bed, lying on his back, shirtless. There are what appear to be new bruises on each side of his ribcage and his lip looks as if it was busted again. He’s suffered through one hell of a beating, that’s for sure.

  “Damn,” Hector breathes. He steps closer to Blake and shakes his head. “Help me carry him into the bathroom. There’s only one way he’ll wake up and we need to go ahead and get him up.”

  “You’ve done this before?” I ask as we each grab an arm to carry him.

  “No, but I know it’s happened once before.” Hector pushes the shower curtain out of the way and we gently sit him down in the tub. “Heads up, he’s going to be more pissed than usual.” With that, he turns the shower on with cold water coming out.

  The water soaks Blake quickly, but it takes about a minute before he startles awake. He curses under his breath as he shuts off the shower, glancing at us looking as pissed as Hector said he would be.

  “Why are you here?” he asks me.

  “Because you locked the door and I needed his help. I couldn’t get ahold of Sofia, so it was Felix instead. Deal with it.”

  Blake’s eyes narrow at the mention of Sofia. “You shouldn’t have tried calling her to start with.”

  “Well, I did. You need to get yourself ready for practice and thanks to us, you have plenty of time.” Hector’s phone rings. He checks it and glances at Blake. “Do you want me to answer or ignore her?”

  “Ignore her. I’ll smooth things over with her later.” He sighs at the thought. He looks us each in the eyes before forcing out a mumbling, “Thanks.” Blake stands a little straighter, wincing a bit, but he adds, “Y’all can go now.”

  “That’s it?” I finally speak up. “Thanks and a get out. No one is going to explain this?” I glance between Hector and Blake.

  “No,” Blake answers, his tone curt. “I don’t have to explain a damn thing. Hector dragged you here, not me. Now, if you don’t mind, get the fuck out of my house.”

  “C’mon, let’s go,” Hector says.

  Shaking my head at both of them, I start walking out of the room. Once we’re back outside, Hector thanks me for coming to help him.

  “Blake doesn’t like people knowing his personal shit. He tolerates that I know, which he didn’t choose to happen. I told you he had his demons and now you’ve gotten a glimpse of them. Cut him some slack.”

  Like that explains much of anything. “Fine. If you happen to need my help again, just call.”

  “HE’S GOING TO be there?” LA gasps and sets her fork down.

  “Yes. He told me that he’ll be there.” I cut into my chicken.

  “And you’re not going to remind him?” Annie asks confused, sipping her water.

  “Nope.” I shake my head. “He really cares for me and he’s not going to forget. This is a big deal. He’ll be there.” I nod at them both.

  Tomorrow is going to be huge for me. When I tell my sisters today at our lunch, they are very supportive, but upset they won’t be there.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you two there, but Felix seems to help me a lot. Not that you two don’t, but I think I’ll be nervous if you were there.” I push my plate away.

  “We understand.” Surprisingly, I hear LA’s voice first. “You will be great.”

  “Yes, you will.” Annie pats my hand.

  I relax against my chair. I didn’t realize how nervous I had been telling my sisters, but they love me and I love them.

  “YOU KNOW WE could have studied at your apartment,” Warren says sitting across from me at the coffee house.

  “We could, but I’d prefer this.” Plus, Felix wouldn’t like that, I think. I saw the jealousy in Felix’s eyes during our conversation. He trusts me, but there’s no reason to rock the boat by having Warren at my place.

  “Is it because of the baseball guy?”

  “Warren,” I firmly say his name. “Felix is my boyfriend. Now, we have a project to do. I think we should focus and get it done.”

  He sighs. “Sure.”

  I can clearly see he isn’t happy, but I push it out of my head and turn back to the books and papers sitting out in front of me. Thankfully, Warren does the same thing and we begin to work easily together.

  After an hour and half of British Literature, I’m done. I know I need to get this done, but tomorrow is heavy on my mind and I want to get home and watch the game. Felix isn’t pitching, but I still watch. I think it’s in my lucky charm job description.

  “I think we’re done. We made some good progress today.” I close up my books and laptop.

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.” He follows my lead and we leave the coffee house.

  “You don’t have to walk me to the bus stop.” Warren is keeping stride with me.

  “I can take you home,” he suggests.

  “I’m fine.” I sit on the bench. “You can leave.”

  “I’ll wait with you. I’m not a dick, Abby.”

  “I know you’re not.”

  Warren sits next to me, but remains quiet. For it to be a Sunday, the traffic is heavier around campus than usual. “Am I a bad guy?”

  “What?” I turn to him.

  “Am I a bad guy?” he repeats.

  “Why would you ask that?”

  “I,” he stops for a second and collects his thoughts. “I thought you and I really liked each other,” he mumbles.

  “Warren,” I softly say his name, suddenly feeling bad. “I like you, but we weren’t compatible.”

  “And you and Mr. Baseball are?”

  “Yes, we are. Warren, I care for you as a friend, but nothing else.” I softly pat his hand. “I’m sorry.”

  He looks down as my hand is still covering his. “Will you promise me something?”

  “Sure.”

  “When Mr. Baseball breaks your heart, will you give me a second chance?”

  I give him a small smile. “I promise.”

  He nods and the bus pulls up. I quickly get on the bus. I know I told him ‘I promise’, but I regret it. I shouldn’t give him hope like that. Felix and I are strong together. Tomorrow is going to prove it. He won’t forget. He’s going to be there for me, just as I’m there for him.


  When the bus stops in front of my complex, I head straight to my place to get out of the heat. I drop everything to the floor and lie on the couch taking in the cool air. I’m trying to calm down as thoughts about tomorrow begin to wash over me. Being behind the wheel of car is scarier than anything that I’ve ever done.

  I reach for my phone and call Felix.

  “What are you doing right now?”

  “Nothing in particular. You?”

  “I had lunch with my sisters today and then a study session with Warren. What time are you landing tomorrow?”

  “Noon, maybe? I think that’s right.”

  “Perfect. I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you.”

  “I think I’ve missed you more. Traveling with a bunch of guys isn’t always fun.”

  “Oh, I’m sure we will have some fun tomorrow,” I flirt with him.

  “I promise you we will.”

  TAMARA, MY THERAPIST, and I are still standing in the empty parking lot.

  “Abigail, he knew the time, right?”

  I nod. I’m hurt, mad, and embarrassed. Felix still hasn’t shown up. I didn’t remind him because he promised he would be here.

  “Let’s reschedule for another time. He must have gotten caught up at the stadium.”

  My heart drops. Yet again, baseball is before me. I’m being pushed to the back burner and this time, my therapist is standing next to me witnessing it all.

  “Abigail, I’m going to say this again; maybe you should be single for a while and focus on you. You’ve never done that before.”

  I nod, but don’t say anything as we climb into her car and she drives me back to my apartment.

  When I watch her pull away, my body becomes hot with rage. Pure pissed-off rage, and it’s Felix’s fault. I stomp across the courtyard to his apartment and pound on the door.

  When he opens the door, I begin to sob. I can’t stop the tears from coming. “I can’t believe you. Out of everything I’ve asked of you, you fucking forgot, Felix!”

  “Abigail, calm down. What did I forget?” He tries to console me by reaching for my hand.

  “Don’t touch me right now, Felix. I asked you to meet my therapist and me today because I was going to drive. I stayed up all night worried to death about it. Do you know the only time I felt okay about it was when I thought of you being there for me? I know we haven’t been together long and I know I carry a lot of baggage, but you’ve helped me a lot. Not now. I asked you for one thing. One thing!”

  “That was today? I know you told me about it, but are you sure you told me when? I wouldn’t have forgotten something this big, I don’t think.” He looks as if he’s really serious. How could he forget this?

  “I did. You said you were busy, but I told you the day and time. I asked you not to forget. You said you wouldn’t, but look at this!” I hold my arms out to show him he forgot me again. “How could you do that? I absolutely one hundred percent trusted you and this is how you pay me back?”

  “Abigail, I’m sorry.” He pushes his hand through his hair. “I was in the middle of helping Hector with Blake and I must not have heard when. I’m sorry and hate that I messed up, but it won’t happen again, I promise.” He tries to grab my hands again, but I step back from him. He looks as if I slapped him.

  “It’s not going to happen again to me. I knew baseball was your priority when this started and you knew I was trying to piece my life back together. Thanks for the help, but don’t bother coming around me again. I need someone I can count on, and that’s not you, Felix. Not now, anyway.” Tamara’s words come back to me. She’s right. I need to find me again.

  “You are a priority for me. You can count on me, too. Give me another chance, please. I don’t want to lose you because I was distracted during a phone call. I would’ve been there for you no matter what. You have to believe that.” His voice cracks just a little bit and I wipe the tears from my cheeks.

  “I do believe you, but I need more than words. I need to fix…well…me. I can’t do that when I’m constantly reminding you I’m important. I love you, but I can’t babysit you. I know that’s harsh and selfish to say, but I need someone in my life who wants to put me first. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but certainly the times I need you there. Felix, that isn’t you right now.”

  The words are like a running water fountain coming out of me. I just told him I love him, too. Like either of us need the extra pressure.

  “With the exception of this time, when have I not been there for you? I don’t always remember things in your schedule, but I’ve been there when you needed me. I haven’t forgotten doing anything with you since my family visited. You can’t tell me you love me and break up with me all in the same breath. Just give me another chance, Abigail. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

  “Felix, I need to finally fix me,” I repeat again. “And you need to focus on baseball. We’re in the right relationship, but at the wrong time. I can’t have that right now, and you can’t either. I truly do love you and wish you all the best.” I rush away from him as quickly as my legs will take me, the tears streaming down my face even faster.

  I STARE AT where I last saw Abigail, fighting the urge to run after her. Once again, I ruined a great relationship, one that easily had the potential to turn into something long-term. How many more times can I fail at this? How many more times can I disappoint a girl because I wasn’t listening when she spoke or because I let baseball run my life? Maybe Abigail does need to focus on herself and work on herself.

  But I do not need to focus on baseball.

  It’s what got me into this mess to start with.

  “We’re in the right relationship, but at the wrong time.”

  So, what? If I wait, she’ll come back to me? I doubt she’ll want to do that. I left her hanging in the very beginning, again when my family visited, and once more today. No one wants to deal with that. Despite doing my best to remember everything she told me, I failed epically at the most important thing. If a relationship with Abigail didn’t last, I won’t be able make another one last either. She was the one girlfriend I wanted to never lose.

  And now, I have.

  My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I close my apartment door and walk over to the end table where my cell phone is.

  “Hey, Mom,” I answer.

  “It’s been two weeks, Felix. You were supposed to call me yesterday and you forgot again.”

  “No surprise there,” I deadpan, before sighing. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve been busy.”

  “Too busy for your own mother? What’s going on, Felix?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell her as I sit down on the couch.

  “Whatever’s bugging you is either baseball or Abigail and since I plan to ask you about both, you might as well tell me now.” When I’m silent, she states, “Something happened with Abigail, then. Talk to me, Felix. I’m sure it’s fixable.”

  “No, it’s not.” Taking a deep breath, I recount what happened. “I was only half listening to her, so I didn’t realize I agreed to a time as well. I would have been there for her. This was too important and too big for me to miss, and I did anyway. I deserve to be single for the rest of my life because I don’t think anyone will ever be as great as Abigail and I don’t want anyone else. Even if she wants to get back together in the future, we shouldn’t. She obviously deserves better than me. I mean, I don’t even call my mom when I tell her I will.”

  Mom is quiet for a few seconds. “Stop throwing yourself a pity party, Felix. You and your obsession with your career has gone on long enough. There is a fine line between being committed and letting that commitment run your life, which is what you’ve been doing ever since you started playing professionally. You do realize your playing days are numbered, don’t you? They always have been. You need to consider what comes after. Unless you want to be alone and out of touch with your family, then you need to start changing. Baseball gave you a second chance for a good l
ife. Don’t let baseball be the very reason you lose it.”

  THE NEXT DAY we leave for another string of road games that last about a week and a half. It’s not until the second game when I close my eyes before a pitch to picture Abigail in efforts to summon a little good luck that I realize she won’t be coming to the home games anymore. As if a preview of what’s to come, we lost the game. In comparison to what I’ve already lost, I don’t really care.

  We only lost that once while we were on the road, and now that we are back in Memphis, we have a day off. Sitting in my apartment sucks, so I change, grab my earbuds, and decide to run. When we’re on a trip, I resort to running on a treadmill. I’d much rather run down a sidewalk, through a park, or anywhere else but inside on a machine. The fresh air, albeit humid and hot, fills my lungs and is much welcomed.

  On my second lap of my route, I stop short at the sight before me. Halfway down the block at the coffee shop is Abigail and Warren. They are just walking in, so either she’s moved on or they’ve been studying. It doesn’t matter because she’s not mine anymore. Once they’re inside, I start running again, wondering if Abigail will even notice me running past. Part of me hopes she does, part of me hopes she doesn’t.

  I end up running three more laps, my legs begging and pleading for me to stop, before I give up for the day. My luck has officially run out. I slow my pace once I reach the complex, finally giving my legs a break, but when I see Warren and Abigail about to approach the same stairs I’m going to have to take, I pump my legs faster to avoid them. I don’t bother a glance their way before I take the stairs two at a time until I reach my floor.

  Following my mom’s advice has been harder than I thought it would be. Calling home more regularly I’ve been able to do. But as far as stepping away more from baseball, it’s been hard. If I don’t hang out with teammates, then I’m stuck at home alone. What else am I supposed to do? Without knowing people outside of baseball, I’m kind of limited.